Whoosh! IRS, ShmyRS, watcha doing tonight babe?
"Oh Goody!"
Lena is endearing herself to all


Lena Kundera
on
ALL MY CHILDREN

January 23, 2003


005
(Lena appearance)
030123
Last update: 07/04/2009


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PLAYERS
SYNOPSIS
RE-CAPS
LENAVERSE
QUOTES
TRANSCRIPT
CLIPS



PLAYERS
Lena Kundera (Olga Sosnovska)
Boyd Larraby (Marc Menard)
Bianca Montgomery (Eden Riegel)
Val (Michael Malone)




SYNOPSIS

Michael's first appearance (introducing himself to Kendall as "Michael Kinsey"); Bianca, thinking she's the only lesbian in town, looks up queer cruise information; Boyd gots himself a Kendall-jones; Lena's got her ear to the door listening in on Boyd and Binks' conversation; Lena barges in claiming to have discovered some IRS discrepancy and needs access to classified files (yeah...right!); Binks tries to get Val to give Lena access; Binks and Lena make small talk -- Lena tells Bianca she might feel more at home with Europe's "progressive" attitudes; low level flirting watch



RE-CAPS:

From The Official Site at ABC.com:
http://abc.go.com/daytime/allmychildren/episodes/2003-04/20030123.html

In Aspen...Kendall meets Michael Kingsley, a handsome man who invites her to dinner. A doorman at the hotel later refers to Michael as "Mr. Combias." [sic - the official site even spelled his name wrong!]...Boyd admits to Bianca that he might be falling for Kendall. Boyd praises Kendall to Bianca and compares her instincts about cosmetics to Erica's. [What??? No mention of Lena -- those BARBARIANS!]

From About All My Children
http://allmychildren.about.com/library/recaps/2003/bl20030123.htm

Val gives Bianca some papers for Erica's review, and asks why she's still here? He thought this Enchantment gig was part-time; she ought to be out there dancing and enjoying herself! Val leaves her alone, and Bianca sighs before tossing aside the work she was doing. She looks at a brochure showing three smiling young women in bathing suits, and goes to the phone. She makes a call to book a springtime cruise for six nights, disembarking at four islands, and smiles as she says yes, she is aware that it is a ladies only cruise! As she's getting the information about where to send her deposit, Boyd knocks on the door of Erica's office. Bianca tells the reservations clerk she'll have to call her back, and Boyd apologizes for the interruption. Bianca tells him that Erica's not here...

...As Bianca reflects that she's never really seen Kendall completely happy except with Ryan, Lena Condera comes to the door and listens [to Bianca and Boyd's conversation], just as she did when Erica and Chris were arguing. Boyd asks how Ryan made her happy? Bianca thoughtfully says he believed in her; she saw herself through his eyes, and she liked what she saw. Boyd thinks she's an angel, and Bianca tells him she's a very lucky woman. Lena listens intently as Boyd says he won't say another word, now that he's thoroughly embarrassed himself! Bianca's glad they talked, and repeats that Kendall is lucky. When she assures him that this conversation never happened, he gets that she's neither encouraging nor discouraging him. Bianca laughs as she tells him, "Let me put it this way - you've got a better shot with Kendall than you've got with me!"

Lena comes in looking for Erica, and Bianca tells her she's in Aspen. Boyd leaves, and Lena tells Bianca she found a discrepancy in the IRS documents (no comment!); she's sure she can find the problem, but needs access to the classified files and her access code doesn't seem to work. Bianca tells her Val has all of the codes; she calls and is happy that Val is still here. Lena smiles broadly as Bianca tells Val they have a little problem; would he please come into the office?

Val tells Bianca and Lena that even if he did call Aspen, the inn has specific instructions not to disturb Miss Kane unless it's life or death! Bianca argues that's not the usual protocol when her mom goes away to a convention, but Val insists this has nothing to do with a convention; Chris has gone out to Aspen to surprise Erica. "Ah, enough said!" Bianca tells him, and Lena agrees that she can wait. Bianca protests that Lena was so concerned before. She tells Val he knows the access codes to the classified files - why doesn't he just give them to her? Lena has an IRS problem she needs to fix! Val looks from one to the other before saying he's sorry; he really can't do that without Erica's approval. Lena agrees she'll wait, and Val tells them this time he's really going! Lena apologizes for keeping Bianca, but Ms. Montgomery insists she didn't; she had some paperwork to finish up. Lena thinks that's very commendable, but not much fun. Bianca asks what about her? Is she having a good time here, at Enchantment and in Pine Valley? Lena says she likes both; she finds her situation very satisfactory! Bianca laughs and says she's from Europe somewhere? She says she'd like to get a EuroPass and travel there, and Lena agrees she might feel more at home there. "More at home than in America?" Bianca asks. Lena means it's more progressive; it's easier for a single woman traveling. Bianca turns away with a funny smile on her face; Lena is also smiling, but seems embarrassed at what she said. She quickly adds that she didn't mean to presume that she would be traveling alone, "A woman as bright as you are and beautiful…." Bianca tells her, "Don't stop on my account!" Lena goes on that she's sure she could have any number of traveling companions, and she's sorry she bothered her. Bianca assures her it was no bother at all, and Ms. Condera smiles as she says then she'll be sure to be bothering her again.

From Soap Slut
http://pub18.ezboard.com/fsoapslutfrm16.showMessage?topicID=53.topic

Previously on All My Children
Kendall and Petey were Aspen-bound.
Boyd caught Lena eavesdropping in front of Erica’s office.
Chris and Erica fought (yay!) but didn’t break up (boo!).

...The shot fades into one of Erica’s ego-portraits she has hanging around her office. My eyes have actually rolled so far back into my head, I can see my own grey matter. Bianca’s up to her own eyeballs in work. Val asks her why she’s still hanging around the office when her job is only supposed to be part time. “You ought to be out there dancing, throwing yourself in the mosh pit.” “Getting something pierced?” Bianca responds. “Hey, don’t knock it,” Val replies. “It’s the best investment I ever made. Oh! Now I am intrigued. Nipples? Prince Albert? Enquiring minds want to know. Bianca doesn’t know how to respond to that. After he leaves, Bianca picks up a brochure with a bunch of babes on the back and calls the number on it, asking for cruise information. Spring break plans, maybe? Incidentally, the number Binks dials isn’t the number that’s on the cruise brochure. After the requisite 1-800-555, Bianca dials a 2 then other numbers (it was hard to tell, the phone was upside-down, but I think it was 2759). The number on the cruise flyer was 1-800-555-4035. Yeah, I know. Trés important.

Boyd knocks on the door. He has questions about FDA regulations, but Bianca sheepishly admits that she can’t help him with that. He shrugs it off for later and asks if she knows how her sister’s doing over at Fusion. Bianca tells him what she’s heard from her only source on Kendall, the media, that she’s doing great (insert sarcastic tone in the word “great”). Boyd isn’t surprised that Kendall’s doing so well. Bianca can see the little hearts flying around Boyd’s head for Kendall a mile away and calls him on it. “You mean it shows?” Boyd responds. “Don’t say it,” forebodes Bianca. “You’re in love with her.” “That would be a ‘yes,’” he answers. Oh my God. I had no idea he was THAT gone on her.

... Bianca is perplexed about how Boyd can be in love with Kendall since he hardly knows her. Yeah, I’d love to hear this as well. Boyd explains that Kendall would come down to the lab and hang out. He says that they were warned by Erica about Kendall in advance and tried to ignore her at first, but soon realized that she had a legitimate interest in the labwork and the business. Boyd even reveals that they used specific ideas of hers in end products. Bianca is so surprised at all of this that you could knock her over with a feather. See, Bianca? Maybe you should have actually listened to your sister instead of jumping to conclusions. Told ya so. Even more surprising to her is Boyd’s information that the only other person he’s seen besides Kendall with the same natural talent for the business is Erica.

...Boyd swears that he took no interest in Kendall at all until he started talking to her and realized how serious and intelligent she was. “Wow, now I’ve heard everything!” Bianca exclaims. “Someone loves Kendall for her mind?!” Hee. Boyd confesses that he even dreams about Kendall, even when he’s awake. Bianca is flabbergasted and wants to know if Boyd is asking her if he has a shot with Kendall. Yup, that is indeed what he’s asking. I’m getting junior high vibes again. I wonder if Boyd wants Bianca to pass Kendall a note in gym.

...Bianca isn’t about to presume whether or not she thinks Kendall could fall for Boyd. But at least she doesn’t encourage or discourage Boyd’s feelings. It’s a refreshing change from her Erica-clone pod persona she’d been adopting for the past six months or so. The only thing Bianca can tell him that Kendall wants is probably what everybody wants: to be happy. From this point on, Lena’s outside the office and has her big ear practically pressed up against the door. Boyd wants to know how he can make Kendall happy. Bianca is clueless about that since she’s rarely even seen Kendall happy; just when she was with Ryan. Bianca thinks that’s because Ryan believed in Kendall and she saw herself through his eyes. Boyd proves just how ga-ga he is for Kendall by remarking that she’s an angel. Dayumn, I seriously want to know how Kendall works this magic over on guys. She hasn’t even slept with this one yet!

...Bianca thinks Kendall would be lucky to have Boyd. She has no idea if her sister is interested in him, but at least thinks he has a better shot with Kendall than he does with her. Lena picks that moment to barge in all verklempt over something. Boyd takes his leave as Lena declares she found some sort of IRS discrepancy and needs to talk to Erica. Since she’s not around, access to the classified files will do. Oh yeah, if it wasn’t obvious before that Lena was up to no good, it’s glaringly obvious now. Bianca doesn’t have those access codes, but knows Val does and gives him a call, catching him as he’s about to leave for home.

...Val is telling Bianca that he has strict orders by Chris not to bother him and Erica in Aspen. Bianca asks that Val just go ahead and give Lena the access codes. Bianca Bianca Bianca. Missed standing in line at the common sense counter, went to the boob one twice. Luckily, Val is not as naïve and is apologetic as he refuses to part with the access codes. Lena consigns to wait and Val declares he is really going home this time, “My plants are watered, my computer’s shut down…” “You made all your long distance phone calls from the office,” taunts Bianca. Val shoots back an amused look as he pauses at the door and finally leaves.

Left alone, Bianca and Lena make small talk about how the new foreign girl is liking her stay in Pine Valley. Bianca is impressed that Lena is from Europe and gushes about how she’d like to visit. Lena proceeds to put her foot in her mouth (purposely? I can’t decide) as she says that Bianca would probably feel more at home in the socially progressive Europe. She immediately attempts to do damage control.

...Lena finally halts at her flattery of Bianca. Bianca raises her eyebrows, “Don’t stop on my account.” Hee. Lena apologizes for bothering her about the access codes. Bianca assures her that she was no bother and Lena finally takes herself and her UST out of there. Wow, you think Bianca might actually get some?





LENAVERSE

This was Lena's first appearance in the "Previously on" (yes, we ARE anal).

Lena saying "Oh goody"? I have read it and I have seen it, but I still do not believe it.



QUOTES

Val: Bianca, why are you still here? I thought this Enchantment gig was supposed to be part-time. You ought to be out there dancing, throwing yourself in the mosh pit.
Bianca: Getting something pierced?
Val: Hey, don't knock it. It's the best investment I ever made.
Bianca: I'll keep that in mind.

Bianca: Hi, I'm calling about the cruise -- the Sophic [sic] Spring Escape. Yes, six nights, four islands. Yeah, a private room. Ocean view would be spectacular. Where do I send the deposit? Yes. Thanks, I -- I am aware that it is a ladies-only cruise.

Boyd: [S]oon, the whole country will be buying her [Kendall's] line, you know that.
Bianca: It sounds like you've already bought her line, Boyd.

Bianca: Don't say it. You're in love with her [Kendall].
Boyd: That would be a yes.

Boyd: [I]t's easy to sell Kendall short, maybe because of the way she looks...

Boyd: [S]he's [Kendall's] got a knack for product development. I mean, she had specific ideas we used.
Bianca: You're kidding.
Boyd: No.
Bianca: She's been bragging about that, and I thought she was delusional.

Boyd: I've only known one other person with the God-given instincts Kendall has for this business.
Bianca: Oh, don't even say it.
Boyd: Your mother, Erica Kane.

Boyd: I didn't even notice your sister until I started talking to her, until I saw she was a serious, intelligent woman.
Bianca: Wow. Now I have heard everything. Somebody loves Kendall for her mind?

Bianca: Let me put it this way. You've got a better shot with Kendall than you've got with me.

Val: Ok, then. This time, I’m really going. My plants are watered, my computer's shut down --
Bianca: You've made all your long-distance phone calls from the office?

Lena: Oh, Europe is very sophisticated. Perhaps you would feel more at home there.

Lena: I didn't mean to presume you'd be traveling alone, a woman as bright as you are, as beautiful.
Bianca: Don't stop on my account.
Lena: I'm sure you could have any number of traveling companions.

Bianca: It's no bother at all.
Lena: Oh. Then I’ll be sure to be bothering you again.



TRANSCRIPT

Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a) [Lena's first Previously on AMC: Boyd accuses Lena of spying on Erica]

Previously on "All My Children" --

Kendall: How about I take Petey to the cosmetics conference with me?
Palmer: You and my son are Aspen-bound.
[amc030123a-inc2 starts]
Boyd: Erica doesn't like anyone spying on her.
Lena: I wasn't.
[amc030123a-inc2 ends]
Erica: I am not fond of ultimatums.
Chris: And I'm not fond of the woman I’m engaged to using her charms on other men.
Erica: So it's your way or the highway?
Chris: You got it, babe.

***** (clip b) [Exposition on how lonely a lesbian Bianca is; and also maybe too much information about Val (no Lena)]

Val: Erica should review this.
Bianca: Ok.
Bianca: Thanks, Val.
Val: Bianca, why are you still here? I thought this Enchantment gig was supposed to be part-time. [amc030123b-inc begins] You ought to be out there dancing, throwing yourself in the mosh pit.
Bianca: Getting something pierced?
Val: Hey, don't knock it. It's the best investment I ever made.
Bianca: I'll keep that in mind.
Val: Good. You should.
Bianca: Hi, I'm calling about the cruise -- the Sophic [sic] Spring Escape. Yes, six nights, four islands. Yeah, a private room. Ocean view would be spectacular. Where do I send the deposit? Yes. Thanks, I -- I am aware that it is a ladies-only cruise.
[knock on door]
Bianca: Oh, I'm -- I’m sorry, I have to call you back. Hey --
Boyd: Hey.
Bianca: Come on in.
Boyd: I'm sorry to interrupt. I thought Erica might still be here.
Bianca: Oh, she's not. Is there something that I can help you with?
Boyd: Sure. It's about the F.D.A. regulations. I was just wondering if Erica’s sources were telling us what we could expect.
Bianca: I'm -- I’m sorry. I can't help you with that. I -- my mother's sources almost never talk to me.
Boyd: Right. Hey, can I ask you something? How's Kendall doing over at -- what -- Fusion?
Bianca: Well, if you believe what she's telling the media, she's doing great.
Boyd: Yeah, that's what I expected. What, didn't you? I mean, soon, the whole country will be buying her line, you know that.
Bianca: It sounds like you've already bought her line, Boyd.
Boyd: Excuse me?
Bianca: Tell me something. You -- you don't have a thing for my sister, do you?
Boyd: You mean, it shows?
Bianca: Don't say it. You're in love with her.
Boyd: That would be a yes.

***** (clip c) [Boyd and Bianca talking about Boyd's ever-growing Kendall-jones (no Lena)]

Boyd: No --
Bianca: Let's knock this out a little bit.
Boyd: It didn’t. I mean, at first, we all tried to ignore her. I mean, your mom made it pretty clear what she thought of Kendall, [amc030123c-inc starts here] even if she did give her a job.
Bianca: Sounds to me like Kendall’s been telling her victim story again.
Boyd: Well, we figured she was just here to cause trouble, you know? But she wasn't. I mean, she was eager. She really wanted to learn the business.
Bianca: Really? She's been saying that for months, and I just thought that she --
Boyd: You know, it's easy to sell Kendall short, maybe because of the way she looks, but she's got a knack for product development. I mean, she had specific ideas we used.
Bianca: You're kidding.
Boyd: No.
Bianca: She's been bragging about that, and I thought she was delusional. Kendall really has a talent for the business?
Boyd: Can I tell you something in confidence? I've only known one other person with the God-given instincts Kendall has for this business.
Bianca: Oh, don't even say it.
Boyd: Your mother, Erica Kane.

***** (clip d) [Boyd and Bianca talking more about Boyd's Kendall-jones (no Lena)]

Boyd: Look, I don't understand it. I didn't even notice your sister until I started talking to her, until I saw she was a serious, intelligent woman.
Bianca: Wow. Now I have heard everything. Somebody loves Kendall for her mind?
Boyd: For everything she is. Even her weaknesses.
Bianca: Oh, Boyd, please, [amc030123d-inc starts] stop.
Boyd: Bianca, I dream about her. And not just when I'm asleep.
Bianca: Ok, ok, Boyd, it's time to wake up.
Boyd: I know, I know, but I can't help it. I can't stop thinking about her. I mean, what would make her happy --
Bianca: What do you want me to say? That you have a shot with Kendall?
Boyd: Do I?

***** (clip e) [Lena listens to Bianca and Boyd's Kendall conversation]

Bianca: I'm sorry, I can't help you out there. I mean, Kendall and I are completely different, and I have no clue what she's thinking.
Boyd: Yes, but you've known her a lot longer than I have. Just tell me, what does Kendall want?
Bianca: [amc030123e-inc starts here] I think that Kendall probably wants what anybody wants -- to find her place in the world and be happy.
Boyd: Ok. Which is how?
Bianca: Well, I don't think I’ve ever really seen Kendall completely happy. I guess she was with Ryan.
[Lena comes to ajar door and starts listening]
Boyd: Fine, so Ryan made her happy. How?
Bianca: He believed in her. She saw herself through his eyes, and she liked what she saw.
Boyd: Well, she's an angel.
Bianca: Well, then she's a very lucky woman.

***** (clip f) [Lena tries to get those darn classified access codes -- go Lena go!]

Boyd: I won't say another word now that I've thoroughly embarrassed myself.
Bianca: Forget, it Boyd. I'm happy to know what's going on with you.
Boyd: Yeah, well, now that you know I’m an idiot, I’ll just get out of your way.
Bianca: As far as I'm concerned, [amc030123f-inc starts] Kendall should be so lucky.
Boyd: So just so I’m sure, you're not encouraging me, but you're not discouraging me, either, right?
Bianca: Let me put it this way. You've got a better shot with Kendall than you've got with me.
Boyd: Right.
Lena: Oh, hello.
Bianca: Hey.
Lena: I was needing to find Erica.
Bianca: She's in Aspen.
Lena: Oh, dear.
Bianca: Oh, no. Can't it wait?
Boyd: Look, I'm going to take off.
Bianca: Ok, see you later.
Boyd: Good night.
Lena: I found a discrepancy in the I.R.S. documents.
Bianca: Oh, dear.
Lena: I'm sure I can find the problem, but I need to get into the classified files, and my access code isn't working.
Bianca: Wow. Um -- you know -- I know Val knows those codes. Let me just check and see if he's still in his office. Val! Great! You're in luck. He's still here.
Lena: Oh, goody.
Bianca: Val, can you come into the office for a minute? I have a little problem here.
Lena: I'm in luck.
Bianca: Thank you.
[amc030123f-inc ends]

***** (clip g) [Lena and Bianca interact and Lena tries some awkward flirting]

Val: Look, even if I did call Aspen, the inn has specific instructions not to disturb ms. Kane unless it's life or death.
Bianca: Val, that is not the usual protocol when mom goes away to a convention.
Val: This has nothing to [amc030123g-inc starts here] do with the convention. Chris has gone out to Aspen to surprise Erica.
Bianca: Ah. Enough said.
Lena: It doesn't matter. I can wait.
Bianca: No, no. You were so concerned before. Val, you know the access codes to the classified files. Why don't you just give them to us? I mean, Lena is having an I.R.S. problem that she really needs to fix.
Val: I'm sorry. I can't -- I really can't give you those unless I have Erica’s ok.
Lena: It's -- it's perfectly fine. I was just being -- what's the word? -- Obsessive. I wait.
Bianca: Ok. Well, thanks, anyway, Val.
Val: Ok, then. This time, I’m really going. My plants are watered, my computer's shut down --
Bianca: You've made all your long-distance phone calls from the office?
Val: Good-bye.
Lena: Thank you so much. I'm sorry to have kept you.
Bianca: Oh, don't worry. You didn't keep me at all. I just had some paperwork to finish up.
Lena: Oh. That's very commendable but not much fun.
Bianca: Well, what about you? You having a good time here?
Lena: At Enchantment or Pine Valley?
Bianca: Both.
Lena: I like both, I think, yes. The work is challenging, the people are very friendly. I find my situation very satisfactory.
Bianca: You're from Europe somewhere?
Lena: Yes.
Bianca: I went to Europe once a long time ago, but I would love to go back, maybe spend a few months there, get a rail pass.
Lena: Oh, Europe is very sophisticated. Perhaps you would feel more at home there.
Bianca: More at home than in America?
Lena: Ah, I mean, we are more progressive. It's easier for a single woman traveling. I –

***** (clip h) ["I’ll be sure to be bothering you again." - Lena recovers her flirting powers]

Lena: I didn't mean to presume you'd be traveling alone, a woman as bright as you are, as beautiful.
Bianca: [amc030123h-inc.mpg starts] Don't stop on my account.
Lena: I'm sure you could have any number of traveling companions. I'll try again for the access code tomorrow. I'm sorry to have bothered you.
Bianca: Oh, no, Lena, no. It's no bother at all.
Lena: Oh. Then I’ll be sure to be bothering you again.



CLIPS

amc030123b-inc.avi (36.9m; 2:36) No Lena, but exposition on how lonely a lesbian that Bianca is; and also maybe too much information about Val
amc030123c-inc.avi (12.2m; 0:51) No Lena, just Boyd and Bianca talking about Boyd's ever-growing Kendall-jones
amc030123d-inc.avi (5.1m; 0:22) No Lena, just Boyd and Bianca talking more about Boyd's Kendall-jones
amc030123e-inc.avi (9.2m; 0:36) Lena finally appears listening to Bianca and Boyd's Kendall-centric conversation
amc030123f-inc.avi (14.3m; 0:58) Lena tries to get those darn classified access codes -- go Lena go! [Partial clip from clip f: [ amc030123f-inc.mpg]
amc030123g-inc.avi (29.7m; 2:01) Lena and Bianca interact and Lena tries an awkward flirt.
amc030123h-inc.avi (7m; 0:32) The Lenameister recovers her flirting powers and ends triumphantly!

The above described clips can also be found on my shared folder on AIM (http://www.aim.com to download). For more information about accessing the folder, email me at ktaborn@lightspeed.net.



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