Lena checks out the many selections
on her Pine Valley Inn menu
Previously on "All My Children"
David: Either you hand over that vial or I get rid of your playmate.
Kendall: How are things at Enchantment?
Boyd: Ms. Kane keeps us lab nerds pretty busy.
Kendall: Oh, you're not a nerd. You're a genius.
Simone: Anthony, no! No, please!
Frank: I shot that video. I filmed your brother O.D.'ing.
Simone: It was you?
Frank: Simone --
Simone: You shot that video?
Frank: There was no easy way to break it to you. The night that Mia fell, I had already decided to do the right thing.
Simone: "The right thing"? You aimed your camera at my brother. You shot him in close-up -- Anthony crashing, O.D.'ing, propped up by stoned-out losers, and you stood there doing nothing.
Frank: My head was not in the same place, Simone. I'm not the same guy I was back then. You have to believe me.
Simone: You would have let him die. For what, Frank? For the sake of your art? For some honorable mention in a third-rate film festival? The camera does not lie, Frank. It got my brother, but it got you, too.
Aidan: Let me know when you're ready for another round.
[Christmas music plays]
Aidan: Hey, it's me.
Maria: Hey, Aidan.
Aidan: Are you alone?
Maria: Yeah. It's just me and the radio.
Aidan: How are you?
Maria: Well, I'm good. Why? Are you taking a survey?
Aidan: I'm just checking, Maureen.
Maria: Well, I thought it was my turn to check up on you. You haven't done anything, have you?
Aidan: When Edmund showed up, I was wondering how much he overheard.
Maria: Oh, don't worry. I covered.
Aidan: Believe me, the last thing I want is trouble for you two.
Maria: Yeah, well, the only person giving me trouble right now is the great god Hayward.
Edmund: That's right. I want those funds transferred to David Haywardís account tonight. E-mail me confirmation.
Sam: "The stockings were hung by the chimney with care in hope --" "in hope --"
Maddie: "In hope that St. Nicholas soon would be there."
Edmund: You guys ready for the holiday pageant?
Maddie: We're still rehearsing.
Sam: And I keep messing up my part.
Edmund: Well, I'm sure you'll be perfect by showtime. Listen, why don't you grab your coats. Hey, let's do a little Christmas shopping.
Edmund: Yes, sweetheart.
Maddie: Did you ask her yet?
Edmund: Did I ask who what?
Maddie: Mommy. Did you invite her for Christmas?
Edmund: Not yet. But the next time I see her --
Maddie: It might be too late. If you don't ask mommy tonight, she might spend Christmas with someone else.
Aidan: Are you bragging to me that you can handle Hayward on your own?
Maria: He's already done his worst.
Aidan: Well, if he comes anywhere near you, Iím on call. Just give me a shout and I will be there anytime.
Kendall: It's a bird, it's a plane. No, it's super-Aidan!
Anna: Slow workday?
Anna: Interior decorating isn't part of your community service, is it?
David: No, I was just -- hey, is that one of the maternity outfits you bought on your shopping spree with Maggie?
Anna: No. It's a tent I bought at Mason's Sporting Goods.
David: Well, I think it looks -- and, actually, you feel -- incredibly sexy.
David: It's nice to see you focusing on the baby rather than bad guys.
Anna: At least with the bad guys I know what Iím up against. You know anything about a bullet missing from the chamber of my backup revolver?
Aidan: I got to go. Call me if you need me, ok?
Kendall: My, my, my. Who needs Homeland Security when "anytime" Aidan's on the run?
Aidan: You know, this bar's only for paying customers.
Kendall: I'll have what Maureen Gormanís having. You, anytime, anyplace, you big strong hunk of hero.
Aidan: And who is that supposed to be?
Kendall: Your phone pal, Mrs. Edmund Grey. Isn't riding to the rescue her husband's job?
Aidan: You know, talking about jobs, shouldn't you be out there looking for one?
Kendall: I got one. Only it's not a job. It's a whole new business.
Aidan: Doing what?
Aidan: Forget it, Kendall.
Kendall: Here's a hint -- what am I really good at?
Aidan: Depends which side of the law you're talking about, doesn't it?
Kendall: This is totally legit. This is the birth of a global empire.
Aidan: Better warn our allies.
Kendall: Do you want to hear this or not?
Aidan: Sure. Go ahead. Tell me what's going around that scheming little brain of yours.
Kendall: This is not a scheme. This is a business plan. I am starting a cosmetics company with Greenlee Smythe.
Aidan: A cosmetics company? Like Enchantment, your mother's company?
Kendall: This has nothing to do with Erica.
Aidan: Yeah, right. This has everything to do with Erica. You're a stupid girl. When are you going to get wise to yourself?
Aidan: What, are you bloody crazy?
Anna: I know my gun was fired. Don't make me dust for prints, David.
David: You're right, Anna. I did use your gun.
David: And I didn't want you to know about it.
Anna: What, that there's another body buried somewhere on prime beach property?
David: Oh, come on. You know I hate guns, especially after what happened with my father. Look, I just felt like I had no choice.
Anna: What happened?
David: It was like a surprise attack. I was sitting here, minding my own business, trying to get some work done, and it happened, ok? And it was so annoying -- it was annoying the hell out of me. You know, one of them I can handle, but two of them? Forget it.
Anna: Two what?
David: You know the garbage pail's right outside the kitchen window, right? I kept hearing this noise, this grating noise, you know, like claws scratching on metal? Ugh.
Anna: What was it?
David: There were two possums helping themselves to our leftovers in the garbage pail. You know, it was driving me crazy. I couldn't focus on my work, so, yes, I picked up your gun --
Anna: You shot them?
David: No, I didn't shoot them. I just shot up in the air, a warning shot. It scared them off.
Anna: Well, don't use my gun.
David: All right. Well, for Christmas, you can buy me an air horn.
Anna: I might well do that.
David: Hey, speaking of Christmas, what do you say we -- we have the family over for dinner, ok? You know, we'll call Trey and Maggie and Greenlee.
Anna: Come on.
David: No, come on. It'll be great.
Anna: Ok. I'll ask Aidan.
David: No, no. Forget it. Forget it.
Anna: I have to ask Aidan. He's the only blood relative I have in Pine Valley. It would be bad form if I didn't invite him.
David: Yeah, well, bad form is what Aidanís all about.
Anna: Look, see? There's your nice Christmas spirit for you.
David: Come on, Anna. Every time the guy is around the two of us, he's always trying to talk you against me.
Anna: How could he? I already know every rotten thing there is to know about you -- I think -- and I'm still here.
David: Well, that's because here is where you belong.
Anna: Yeah? I guess Aidanís working at the bar, so -- I have his number somewhere. I'll call him.
Jamie: Hey, Joni, you got a minute?
Joni: Not really.
Jamie: Come on. How'd you do on that "Scarlet Letter" test?
Joni: 89. I don't think Mrs. Cassidy liked my essay.
Jamie: Aren't you going to ask me how I did?
Jamie: Because you don't care? I got a 97.
Joni: Good for you. But I bet you know lots about adultery, right?
Jamie: Joni, don't be like this.
Joni: This is how I am! I keep trying to tell you that.
Jamie: You do? I thought you weren't talking to me.
Joni: I'm not! Why are you doing this?
Jamie: Doing what? All I want is just us to be friends.
Joni: No, you want a whole lot more than that.
Edmund: Sweetie, why do you think that mommy would want to spend the holidays with anyone but you and Sam?
Edmund: Because what?
Sam: Because Danny Orsati's going to the holiday fair with Amber Olson because she got to him before Maddie did.
Maddie: Shut up, you fink!
Edmund: Ooh, ooh, come on. Language. Santa's making his list. Listen, I'm sorry. I think -- I think you should put your mommy right at the top of your wish list, ok, and I'm sure she'll be here.
Maddie: Even if she doesn't remember us?
Edmund: She doesn't remember everything, you know, but -- but you and Sam, you live in her heart just like Christmas lives in -- in your heart.
Maddie: Can we go and ask her, just to be sure?
Edmund: Yeah, just, just -- I think we can do that.
Maddie: Right now?
Edmund: Yeah, right now. Ok. Listen, you bundle up. I want to see hats and mittens, ok?
Edmund: All right.
Sam: What about our surprise?
Maddie: I almost forgot. We'll be right back.
Frank: You're right. It did show me who I was, and I was disgusted by what Iíd become.
Simone: Yeah, well, your awakening came a little late for my brother.
Frank: I know. Look, I'm not going to lie to you about this.
Simone: You mean keep on lying, don't you?
Frank: I was a Tarantino wannabe -- pimps, pushers, runaways, life lived on the edge of hell seen through the safety of my camera lens. I was like a shark waiting for that first whiff of blood, circling, watching. 2:00 am., I was sniffing out the drug bust gone bad, the gangs, smack downs, drive-bys, junkies and prostitutes swapping drugs for sex. Anything and anyone was fair game because I wanted that shot. I wanted that freeze-frame that was going to land me a five-picture deal.
Simone: And obviously you didn't care how you got it.
Frank: No, I didn't. When I saw your brother walk out of that club, I didn't see your brother or somebody's son. I saw a nameless junkie, a loser that I could use to mainline my way into a studio mega deal with points and my name in fricking lights above the title. Anthony was one kind of loser, and I was another.
Simone: Please don't tell me that's how you justify what you did.
Frank: No. I can't justify anything, not now, not then.
Frank: Did I know what I was doing was wrong? Of course I did. Hell, yes! My father -- I could hear his voice screaming at me, "do something! Get off your butt! Get in gear! Help!" But I just kept filming. I wish to God, Simone, that I could go back and -- listen. That night, it changed my life.
Simone: Yeah. It changed Anthonyís, too. Oh. And you did nothing. You just stood there and kept your camera running while my brother was surfing a flatline. You did nothing. Were you high, too?
Simone: So you were the only one on the scene that was straight? You were the only one that could think clearly enough to dial 911 or just hold my brother's hand?
Frank: If I could go back and change things --
Simone: I've thought that a lot -- if I could have just been there, if I could have been that someone to just care enough to push that speed dial button to the ambulance. If I could have just been that person to hold him, talk to him, keep him focused, you know, tell him that help's on the way, you know, everything's going to be ok, just to hold on, you know, maybe he could have.
Frank: I've beaten myself up every day since then.
Simone: How could you? How could you have done it, Frank? How could you live with yourself?
Frank: I couldn't. So I changed who I was.
Aidan: Oh, you never disappoint me, Kendall. I thought you'd outgrown your obsession with Erica and payback.
Kendall: Oh, you're a fine one to point that out. What about your obsession?
Kendall: That was Maria on the phone, right? You're still bucking for a slot on her dance card.
Aidan: You see, I know friendship's a foreign concept to you.
Kendall: Oh, please. Every time that Mazamba Mama comes around, you start wagging your tail, but the minute she gets her memory back, she'll forget all about you and your precious friendship.
Boyd: Hey, Kendall.
Aidan: Hey, I recognize that guy.
Kendall: One of your regulars?
Aidan: No, no, no, no. He works at Enchantment in R&D. I used to see him when I discussed plans with Erica.
Kendall: Hmm. Small world.
Aidan: He's meeting you here?
Kendall: No. It's just a coincidence.
Aidan: A coincidence that you're starting your own cosmetics company and Ericaís chief chemist walks through the door?
Kendall: A lot of people work for Erica. It doesn't mean anything.
Aidan: Right, but they're not all meeting you in a dimly lit hotel bar, are they?
Kendall: Whatever you're implying, Aidan, you're wrong, so forget it.
Aidan: You know exactly what Iím implying. You are plotting to put your mother out of business and you're using her best men to do it.
Kendall: Shut up. Instead of stressing about my motives, why don't you worry about your agenda with women that you can't have?
Bartender: Aidan, got a call for you on line one.
Aidan: Thanks, man.
Aidan: Hello. It's Aidan.
Anna: Aidan, it's Anna here.
Aidan: Hey. What's up?
Anna: I have a question for you. I just need you to say yes.
Maria: Isabella. Hmm. Don't know what she'd want for Christmas, but I guess I used to know.
[knock on door]
Maddie: Merry almost Christmas, mom!
Sam: Happy Thanksgiving!
Maddie: It's Christmas, you dork!
Edmund: Ah -- language. Santa's listening.
Maria: Oh, what a very nice surprise, you guys. Come on in.
Edmund: I hope we're not interrupting.
Edmund: We're obviously in the middle of shopping, and then they have to go to rehearsal for the Christmas Pageant.
Maddie: I'm going to be an angel just like you were, mommy. Will you come see me?
Maria: Of course I'm going to come see you. I wouldn't miss it.
Maddie: Well, go ahead and ask her!
Maria: Ask me what?
Edmund: Um -- well, Maddie -- that is, we all -- want to formally invite you to spend Christmas with us at Wildwind.
Maddie: Will you, mommy?
Maria: Well, remember, we talked about this a little bit. I -- I'm not quite sure what my plans are yet for Christmas, but I will try my best. How's that? What's in all the big bags, you guys?
Sam: They're for you. Peggy baked gingerbread men --
Sam: And I made this for you at school.
Maria: Let's see.
Sam: It has our picture in it.
Maria: That is really, really sweet. Thank you. That's a great picture, too. Very cute. Thanks, sweets.
Maddie: And see what I brought.
Edmund: It's -- it's very small, but it's very, very sincere.
Maddie: I've had it in my room since I was a baby.
Edmund: Yeah. I think you got something else in here, right?
Maddie: And this goes with it.
Maria: Let's see. Oh. "Maddie's First Christmas."
Maddie: And this, too.
Maria: "Mommy's First Christmas."
Maddie: I mean, you're first with us since you came home.
Maria: Thank you so very much, you guys. That was so sweet. Thank you. Can you help me decorate the tree? Can I put these on there?
Sam: Dad, do we have time?
Edmund: Yeah. I think we got a few minutes. We can do a little bit more shopping after rehearsal.
Maddie: We brought presents to put under the tree, and I already put on the star.
Sam: You always hog the star.
Edmund: Yeah, same old fight, you know. Listen, I remember when -- forget it.
Edmund: No, it's -- it's nothing.
Maria: No, no, no, tell me. What?
Edmund: Well, it was the -- the Christmas before Maddie was born that you bought this beautiful star to hang on the tree at Wildwind, and you used to dream about when we'd all be family and decorating that tree.
Maria: Some wishes do come true.
Edmund: Yeah. Having you back, that's another one.
Maddie: Hey, I almost forgot!
Maddie: Hey, guys, you know the drill.
Maria: Very cute.
Sam: Hey! What's he doing on your list?
Anna: Oh, come on, Aidan. It'll be our first family Christmas. You can't refuse.
Aidan: But I don't know whether I can make it, though.
Anna: Look, if you're worried about David behaving badly, he's promised that he won't be a Grinch for the holidays.
Kendall: Well, here's to stellar advice.
Kendall: Yours to me. You gave me just the push I needed. I am starting my own cosmetics company with Greenlee Smythe.
Boyd: Well, good for you, Kendall. Really, I mean, you've got what it takes to rocket to the top. Cheers.
Kendall: Cheers. But Iím still going to need some primo rocket fuel, Boyd, and that's where you come in.
Aidan: Well, I'm going to have to -- I'm going to have to check my work roster. I'll get back to you about Christmas. Cheers. Bye.
David: Going somewhere?
Aidan: Oh, well, well, well. Uncle Davey. I just got off the phone with Anna.
David: Yes, I know. She just invited you over for Christmas.
Aidan: And judging by her holly-jolly mood, she doesn't know about the shot that you took at me at the cabin.
David: No, she doesnít. And if you know what's good for you, she never will.
Maria: Sam, honey, Aidanís a friend of mine.
Maddie: But you're not bringing him home for Christmas, are you?
Maria: Maddie, I thought you liked Aidan.
Maddie: He scares me. Bad things happen when he's around, like when we were in his room and the police came.
Edmund: Ok, ok, ok. Listen, sweetheart, that wasn't Aidanís fault. He was just trying to protect you and mommy.
Maddie: That's your job, daddy.
Sam: I don't want him around at Christmas.
Maddie: Neither do I. He'll wreck everything.
Edmund: Ok, ok, that's enough, you two.
Maria: But, it's ok, Edmund. I want them to be able to say what they feel. Come here, honey. Come here. If you guys don't want Aidan to come for Christmas, then that's it -- Aidan is not going to be there for Christmas.
Maddie: You mean it, mommy?
Maria: Well, yeah, of course I mean it, because I want this to be the very best Christmas we've ever had. That's what at the top of my Christmas list. Ok? You feel better, hopefully.
Edmund: Ok, guys. Listen, we're going to be late for rehearsal, ok? We got to go. Ok?
Edmund: I know.
Maria: So soon?
Edmund: Say your good-byes.
Sam: Bye, mommy.
Maria: Bye, you guys. Be fabulous. Listen to your director. Oh, great. See you. Thank you for everything.
Maddie: You're welcome.
Maria: And, Edmund, thank you speaking up for Aidan.
Edmund: I did it for Maddie. I didn't want her to feel afraid.
Maria: Well, are you mad at me? Do you want me to cross him off the list, too?
Edmund: I want my kids to feel loved and safe. They've been scared enough for one lifetime.
Aidan: Dropping threats now?
David: It's entirely up to you, Aidan. You want Anna to know that you nearly wiped out my memory, our life together, and our child?
Aidan: You had it coming.
David: You went way too far and you know it. You're such a whack job, you even scared Maria.
Aidan: And if Iím such a whack job, then you better watch your back.
David: And maybe you better watch yours.
Aidan: Why? What are you going to do? Are you going to stab me with a hypo? Huh? Erase my memory?
David: And what tortured memories would those be, Aidan?
Aidan: Maybe I will tell Anna what I found there in the cabin, show her all the souvenirs of your research.
David: You can forget finding those now.
Aidan: Oh, she will believe me, and Maria will back me up. It could be a nice little Christmas gift -- shining some light on your dark side, show Anna how twisted you really are.
David: That would be a fatal mistake, Aidan.
Aidan: Who wants to live forever?
Kendall: So, how quickly can you pack up your test tubes and set up shop with me and Greenlee?
Boyd: Kendall, I can't.
Kendall: Oh, come on. This is a no-brainer. Enchantment is stuck in the 1980s. We're the next new wave -- image, beauty from the inside out.
Boyd: Yeah, but Erica gave me my start in the business. She's supported my research from the beginning.
Kendall: Well, have you told her about the new formula you're developing?
Boyd: Not yet, but Iím almost finished the clinical trials.
Kendall: And then what?
Boyd: Then I share my results with Erica as a way of saying thanks for all the faith she's showed in me.
Kendall: Well, what's wrong with a nice fruit basket? Listen, Boyd, this formula, this could revolutionize the entire cosmetics industry.
Boyd: You bet it will. I mean, the patent alone will be worth millions.
Kendall: You mean you haven't registered it yet?
Boyd: I haven't even written down the formula.
Kendall: So it's all in your head?
Boyd: Yep, and that's where it's going to stay until it's patented.
Frank: Simone, that night was my reality check. I wanted to make films that changed the way that people saw life, but my vision was so out of focus that I realized how disconnected I was, that I was feeding off other people's misery.
Simone: And my brother's O.D. was your wakeup call?
Frank: When I went home that morning, I couldn't even look myself in the mirror. I didn't want to grow up to be the man that I had become. And I started thinking about my mother and all the work that she does at the hospital helping people and healing them. Suddenly, chasing the Oscar didn't seem like some great noble pursuit. That's when I enrolled in med school and started studying medicine. You remember that kid that they wheeled into the E.R., the one that was O.D.'ing?
Frank: Why do you think I worked so hard on him? Because I could do the one thing for him that I couldn't do for your brother that night -- show some humanity.
Simone: But all that humanity's not doing Anthony -- not doing Anthony much good, is it?
Frank: You know, I am so sorry.
Simone: Would you have told me the truth if I hadn't seen the tape, Frank? Would you have admitted this to me?
Frank: I tried to work up the guts to tell you, Simone, but, I didn't even know that was your brother on that tape until about five --
Simone: Well, if you had known, would you have bailed on me the way you bailed on Anthony? I'm going to save you the trouble.
Frank: Simone? Hey, Simone, would you wait! Come here. Come on!
Frank: Simone, please.
Simone: My father -- he was right. He warned me about you, but I wouldn't listen.
Frank: You know me. Come on.
Simone: I know you? I don't have a clue who you are. Anyone who would stand by and watch a kid's life drain away and not even lift a finger --
Frank: I messed up.
Simone: Uh-huh --
Frank: Haven't you ever made a mistake, done something stupid that you regret?
Simone: Yeah -- letting you into my life.
Joni: Why are you still here?
Jamie: Why do you keep chasing me away?
Joni: Because I can't be your friend, not anymore.
Jamie: Because I got you in trouble with your parents?
Joni: I'm not in trouble anymore, Jamie.
Jamie: You're not?
Joni: I'm just now allowed to see you, and I'm fine with that. I don't like hanging out with guys who drink.
Jamie: I told you it was just one time. I've never done anything like this before.
Joni: Lucky me. I got to share your first time?
Jamie: You're being really mean, Joni.
Joni: I'm being honest.
Jamie: Are you sure?
Joni: Yes. I want to be with someone that respects me, who I can respect.
Jamie: I respect you.
Joni: Good. Then leave me alone.
Maria: Hi. Edmund, I know you're not home, but I just wanted to call and leave you a message and let you know that the kids coming over today just made my day. Thank you so much.
Carolers: Hark the herald angels sing
Maria: So that's -- that's it, really, what I wanted to say. Thank you.
Carolers: Glory to the newborn king
Maria: Ok. Bye.
Carolers: Peace on earth and mercy mild God and sinners reconciled joyful all ye nations rise join the triumph of the skies with angelic host proclaim Christ is born in Bethlehem hark, the herald angels sing glory to the newborn King hark, the herald angels sing
Edmund: Excuse me. I'm looking for Aidan Devane.
Bartender: You just missed him.
Edmund: You look like hell. You ok?
David: I am now. Get my usual -- scotch on the rocks, please?
Bartender: I'm glad you decided to come back for a drink, Dr. Hayward.
Edmund: You were here earlier?
David: Yeah. So?
Edmund: Did you see Aidan by any chance?
David: No. I didn't.
Simone: Here. My father said this would tell me everything I needed to know about you -- yep -- and he was right.
Frank: Don't say that.
Simone: You did this, Frank. Yeah. Take the tape.
Frank: Would you wait a second?
Simone: Get away from me!
Frank: Look, I know what I did, but can't you tell what your father's doing?
Simone: Wait, this has nothing to do with my father.
Frank: Oh, no?
Frank: He's seen you happy for the first time in God knows how long. He sees how good I am for you, and he is trying to take me away from you.
Simone: Are you for real? You're standing here telling me that you watched my brother, for all you know, dying and you're going to blame my father for stealing my joy? Ok. You did that, Frank. You took my brother away, not my father. You.
Frank: Simone. Simone?
Kendall: Wow, Boyd. You must have some memory.
Boyd: Well, I can remember all of my teachers from kindergarten through grad school and, oh, my phone number when I was 5.
Kendall: I can't even remember the number to 911.
Boyd: Well, I use mnemonic devices.
Boyd: Mnemonic devices. I associate a letter with each part of my formula like a cue, you know, like that song "mother"?
Kendall: Well, I --
Boyd: "M is for the million things she gave me." Uh --
Kendall: Ok, if you're talking about my mother, forget it.
Boyd: Listen, Kendall, thanks for the offer to join your team. I know you're going to be the next big thing.
Kendall: No. You are, you and your new super formula. But you know what? I have to be somewhere very shortly. I have about a million things to do before tomorrow, so --
Boyd: Well, don't be a stranger, ok?
Kendall: Don't you. And don't slam the door on coming to work with the young and the lustrous.
Boyd: Well, it's good to be wanted, but don't hold your breath.
Kendall: Well, a girl can hope, right? Will you walk me to my car?
Edmund: So what happened to you, Hayward? You look like you got into another fight and lost.
David: A flat tire.
David: Well, you're not looking so great yourself these days. So you're looking for Aidan, huh?
Edmund: Yeah. I'm trying to convince him to stay away from my family, to spend Christmas with his.
David: I wouldn't worry about that.
Carolers: Deck the hall with boughs of holly fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la 'tis the season to be jolly fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la don we now
Maria: Our gay apparel fa-la-la, la-la-la la la la troll the ancient yuletide carol
[knock on door]
Maria: Aidan. Aidan, are you ok? Have you been drinking? Aidan! Oh, my God! Aidan. Aidan? Oh. Aidan.
On the next "All My Children" --
Woman: I know your story, and it won't play here.
Laurie: If I beg, will you forget you ever saw me here?
Hayley: Because you are going to kill me when you hear what I have to say.
Edmund: You're not letting Hayley get on that plane alone.
Aidan: If you call a doctor, I swear I will be killed!
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