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“Adventures in the Sin Trade”  Episode 401/69


X:  “Yah!”

Hades:  “Tartarus.  Elysian Fields.  Tartarus.  Elysian Fields.”

X [Interrupting]:  “Hades!  My friend, Gabrielle-- where is she?”

Hades:  “Gabrielle, well-- if she’s dead-- she didn’t come to me.”

X:  “I _saw_ her die.  She _had_ to come to you.”

Hades:  “Why would I lie to ya?  Look-- if you’d like to see Solon, I could arrange a few moments with-- ”

X [Interrupting]:  “No, no, no-- you leave Solon out of this.  He doesn’t need to know about my problems.  It’s Gabrielle I wanna see.  Come on.  You owe me.”

Hades:  “Xena, not all the world’s dead come to me.”

X:  “She was Greek.  The Olympian gods control her destiny.”

Hades:  “Yeah, I admit, it does seem like she’d be mine-- like these people.  Charon and I are gonna be very, very busy.”

X [Interrupting]:  “I’m not interested in your workload, Hades!  Look-- I just wanna know where my friend went after she died.”

Hades:  “Did she, uh-- belong to any spiritual orders, or-- ”

X:  “No.”

Hades:  “What is it?”

X:  “Do Greek Amazons come to you?”

Hades:  “No.”

X:  “Then that’s it.  Gabrielle’s initiation into the Amazons meant she went to a different land of the dead.”

Hades:  “Well, I can’t help you then.  I don’t know where that is!”

X:  “I do.”

X:  “Sorry, girl.  I can’t take you where I’m going.  Yah!”

X:  “Yah!  Yah!  Yahhhhhhhhhhhhh!”


G’s Voice:  “Xena.  Xena.”

G’s Voice:  “Xena.”

G’s Voice:  “Xena.  Xena.”

X [Thinking]:  “Gabrielle-- I’m entering a world of darkness I promised myself I’d never return to.  But it’s the only way I can see you again.”

X [Thinking]:  “My mind has lost its center.  It’s turning--  turning-- can’t hold.”

X [Thinking]:  “It can’t hold.”

G’s Voice:  “Xena-- ”

X [Thinking]:  “I hear you-- or is it the wind?  As I travel along paths I left long ago-- I’m engulfed by my memories.  They consume me.”

[The Past]

Borias [Bor] and X:  “Ahhh!  Ahhh!  Ahhh!”

Bor:  “Ay!”

X:  “What?”

Bor:  “What would you do-- if I told you-- I’m in love?”

X:  “I’d cut out your sweetheart’s throat.”

Bor:  [Laughs]

X:  “You think I wouldn’t?”

Bor:  “No.  I mean, I’m in love with you.”

X:  “With me?  Have you lost what’s left of your mind?  People like you and me don’t fall in love-- not with each other, anyway.  [Sighs]  Where do we go from here?  I say we take on the Amazons.”

Bor:  “They’re a tough bunch-- but reasonable, I think.  I say we offer to ally with them against their traditional enemies, the Centaurs.  With the Centaurs out of the way-- nothing stands between us and Greece.”

X:  “You and your alliances-- didn’t do us much good in Ch’in.”  

Bor:  “We did all right in Ch’in.  We would have done better if it wasn’t for your unquenchable lust for power.”

X:  “I thought you liked my unquenchable lust.”

Bor:  “Well-- it does have its good points.”

Man’s Voice:  “Borias!”

Bor:  “What?!”

Man:  “We caught these two lurking in the camp.  The hag says she’s a Shamaness-- claims she can-- help us beat the Amazons.”

X:  “How can you do that?”

Alti:  “I was once an Amazon, myself.  But they expelled me from their number because my power was too great.  I am Alti-- and this is my apprentice-- Anokin.  Congratulations.”

X:  “What?”

Anokin:  “Hmm.”

Alti:  “You are with child.”

Bor:  [Laughs]

X:  “Very good.  I haven’t told anyone that yet.” 

Bor:  “What?”

Anokin:  “Hmm.”

X:  “I would have gotten around to it.  Go.”

Bor:  “Xena, what are you doing?  A Shamaness like her can only be trouble.”

X:  “I like trouble, Borias.  Please-- make yourself at home.”

[The Present]

X:  “Gabrielle.”

Amazons’ Voices:  “What is she doing?”  “I don’t know.”

Man’s Voice:  “Huh?  Look at this.”

Bald Man:  “What do you think you’re doin’?”

X:  “You did this, didn’t you?”

Bald Man:  “Yeah.  So what?  Ahhhhhhhhh!”


X:  “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

Amazon:  “Look what we got.”

Otere [O]:  “Good.”

Amazon:  “Pick him up.”

Man:  “Uh!”

Amazon:  “It’s a warrior-woman.  She fought our enemies, so I don’t think we need to fear her.”

X:  [Yells]

[[[[[[G’s Voice:  “You’ve got to take me with you-- teach me everything you know.”  X’s Voice:  Even in death, Gabrielle-- ”]]]]]]

X:  “Ahhhhh!”

[[[[[[X’s Voice:  “I will never leave you.”  X’s Voice:  “You are the best thing that ever happened to me.”  X’s Voice:  “You gave my life meaning and joy.”  X’s Voice:  “You will be a part of me, forever.”]]]]]]

X:  “Ahhhhhhhh.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.  Ahh.  Ahhhhhhhhh.”

O:  “That wailing?  I heard it before, a long time ago, when I was a child.”

[The Past]

O’s Voice:  “An army from the East swept across the steppes.  They destroyed everything in sight.  It was led by a great warlord named Borias-- and her.”

X:  “Alti!  Who did this?!”

Bor:  “Xena, let’s go!”

X:  “I’m not leaving without her.”

Bor:  “Then don’t!  Throw her on a horse, and let’s move!  This is the last of the villages before Amazon territory.  I don’t want the Amazons to think we’re moving on them.”

X:  “I don’t care about your plan!  My friend is dead.”

Bor:  “You knew her for less than a moon.  What spell have they thrown on you?  Quick, girl!  Come on!  It’s only a child.  Yah!  Out of the way!  Yah!”

X:  “It’s too late.”

Alti:  “You can see her again, you know.”

[The Present]

O:  “She must wanna cross over to the other side, and she needs the horse’s spirit to do that.”


X:  “What are you doing?”

Dead Amazon:  “You’re the one who gave me a decent funeral.  Now you, too, are in the land of the dead.  I thank you-- mourn for you.”

X:  “Don’t mourn for me.  I’m not dead.”

Dead Amazon:  “If you’re not dead, then-- why are you here?”

X:  “I’m looking for a friend.  She should have passed through the gate into eternity by now.”

Dead Amazon:  “So, you plan to follow her into eternity?”

X:  “That’s right.”

Dead Amazon:  “So, will you be able to get back from there?”

X:  “That, I don’t know.”

Dead Amazon:  “She must be a very good friend.”

X:  “She’s the only friend.”

Dead Amazon:  “How come you know so much about the land of the dead?  Have you been here before?”

X:  “Let me tell you a little story.”

[The Past]

X’s Voice:  “Gabrielle’s not the first I followed here.  I came once before.”

X:  “Anokin!  Oh!”

Anokin:  “Uh.”

X:  “What’s the matter?”

Anokin:  “Stay away from me.”

X:  “Why?”

Anokin:  “You poisoned my soul.  I want nothing to do with you.”

X:  “I _hate_ the dead.  You can’t take vengeance on them.”

Alti:  “Ah-- but you can.”

Bor:  “Come back to me, Xena.”

Alti:  “Uh!  Uh!z’

Bor:  “Come.”

X:  “What do you want?”

Bor:  “I want you.  The stuff you’re intop-- it’s madness.  You’re carrying our child within you.”

Alti:  “Uh-- the baby will be a fine-- healthy boy-- with his father’s mouth and his mother’s eyes.”

X:  “What will we call him?”

Alti:  “Neither one of you will name him.”

Bor:  “We’ll name him!  And you can stop your evil predictions, you hag!  Ah!”

X:  “Borias-- you shouldn’t have done that.  She’s powerful.”

Bor:  “In the land of the dead, perhaps-- but here, she’s a pathetic bag of bones.”

X:  “Never mind.  It’s over your head.”

Bor:  “And who is this?”

X:  “Alti needed a human body in order to get us to the land of the dead.”

Bor:  “You’re killing people, to help that demon cast her spells?”

X:  “Come on, Borias.  After all the people we’ve killed, what’s one more corpse?” 

Bor:  “I can’t believe what’s happening to you.”

X:  “And I can’t believe what’s happening to you.  You’re as soft as a pig’s belly.  And what’s all this talk about _our_ baby and us?!  I swear, if you use the word, “Family,” I’m gonna puke!”

X:  “These powers you’re after-- ”

Alti:  “You wanna know what they are.  Your friend you told me about-- Lao Ma-- her powers come from denial-- from self-sacrifice-- from the light.  That’s not for people like you and me.  I wanna tap into the-- heart of darkness-- the sheer, naked will behind all craving-- hatred-- and violence.  I’ll become-- the face of death itself-- capable of-- destroying not only-- a person’s body, but their soul.  Help me-- and I’ll make you-- ‘Destroyer of Nations’.”

[The Present]

Dead Amazon:  “What is it?  Who’s that?”

X:  “Cyane, Queen of the Amazons.”

Dead Amazon:  “Cyane?!  She’s a legend!  You knew her?!”

X:  “I killed her.”

[Flashback to Past:  Cyane:  “Uh!”]

Cyane:  “What are you doing here, Xena?  You’re not welcome.”

X:  “Cyane-- why are you still in the land of the dead?  You should have crossed over into eternity.”

Cyane:  “Answer me first.  What do you want?”

X:  “I’m looking for a friend-- a Greek Amazon.”

Cyane:  “An Amazon is your friend.”

X:  “That’s right.  Her name is Gabrielle.”

[The Past]

Cyane:  “At heart, you’re an Amazon, whether you believe it or not.”

X:  “It’s not for me to say.”

[The Present]

Cyane:  “Follow me.”

Amazons:  “Think she’s dead?”  “Poke her.”

O’s Voice:  “She’s not dead.  Her spirit’s with the dead.”

Amazon:  “I say, we send her body there, too.”


O:  “Uh, no!  We don’t hurt her.”

Cyane:  “You see, Xena-- none of us can pass through the gate to eternity.  We’re doomed to wander the land of the dead forever.”

X:  “Alti did this to you.”

Cyane:  “Yes-- Alti.”

O’s Voice:  “Watch it-- don’t jerk her.  Keep everything smooth, or she’ll feel it.”

Amazon’s Voice:  “Careful.”

Cyane [?]:  “We’ll look up top. [?]”

O’s Voice:  “Be careful-- don’t wanna wake her up, just yet.”

Amazon’s Voice:  “What’s wrong with her?”

O’s Voice:  “Nothing.”

[Flash to Land of the Dead]

O’s Voice:  “She’s in the land of the dead.  We’re gonna let her accomplish what-- ”

O:  “-- she must there.  She’s probably acquiring great powers.”

Amazon:  “I still say we should cut her throat.”

O:  “No.”

O’s Voice:  “She’s our future-- I’m sure of it.”

Amazon:  “Why should we believe you?  There’s something you’re not telling us.”

O:  “Borias had taken me in out of the cold.”

[The Past]

Alti’s Voice:  “She must die.”

X’s Voice:  “Her-- what’re you talking-- ?”

X:  “-- about?  She’s just a child.”

Alti:  “_She_-- will take your power away from you, one day.  Have I been wrong with my predictions, so far?”

X:  “You think Borias is trouble, now-- you should wait and see if we knocked off his little orphan girl.”

Alti:  “Control your destiny.  Kill her now-- and avoid the day she takes your power.”

Bor:  “No!  Get out of here.  Xena.”

[The Present]

Amazon’s Voice:  “So, she would have killed you if Borias hadn’t shown up.”

O:  “Nope-- I don’t think she would have.  She didn’t kill me because she knew what Alti predicted must happen.”

O’s Voice:  “I am destined to take her power.”

Amazon’s Voice:  “I’m glad you’re so sure about it.”

Amazon:  “I’m gonna have my ax ready when she starts to come around.”

X:  “I’m so sorry for what’s happend to you.”

Cyane:  “I don’t think they believe you, Xena.”

[Flashback to fight with the Amazons in the past]

Cyane:  “She claims she’s looking for a friend-- a Greek Amazon, no less.”

X’s Voice:  “I understand your anger.”

X:  “The sight of me must be a torment you.  But once I find Gabrielle, you’ll never see me again.”

Cyane’s Voice:  “Then, go!”

Cyane:  “The gate to eternity lies in the heart of that volcano.  That’s where you’ll find your precious Gabrielle.”

X:  “But you said that Amazons can’t pass through the gate.”

Cyane’s Voice:  “Our tribe can’t.”

Cyane:  “The other Amazon tribes from Greece and Mesopotamia-- they can.  The path to your friend lies through that gate.  Now-- go into eternity-- and out of our lives forever.  Go!”

G’s Voice:  “Xena.  Xena.”

X:  “I can’t.  Gabrielle, I can’t.  You know, nothing would make me happier than seeing you again.  You were my light.  But I just realized what it was that you gave me-- a light of my own.  There’s something I gotta do-- something you’d want me to do.  I love you.”

Cyane:  “I thought I told you that the gate was over there.”

X:  “Some other time.  I’m going back to stop Alti.”

Cyane:  “Our holy word should have been strong enough to undo whatever it was that kept us from eternity, but still, we can’t pass through the gate.”

X:  “Maybe you need a new hold word-- one stronger than the last.”

Cyane:  “Our holy word is ‘Courage’, Xena.  Nothing’s stronger than courage.”


Amazon [O?]:  “Get back!  Quick!  Move!”

X:  “Who are you?”

O:  “Otere.”

X:  “I remember you.  How did I get here?”

O:  “We moved you.  We thought you’d be safer here.  We were careful not to wake you up.”

X:  “You did well.  Ahh!”

Amazon:  “Oh!”

X:  “I could teach you a thing or two about holding a sword on somebody.  Who’s he?”

Amazon:  “Our enemy.  You wounded him.  We haven’t decided who gets to kill him yet.”

O:  “You drew first blood.  You should make the kill.”

X:  “Can you walk?  Good.  I want you to deliver a mesage to Alti.  Dah!  Tell her that Xena’s coming.”

O:  “If we move directly on Alti, she’ll send _him_ after us.”

X:  “Who’s ‘him’?”

O:  “Berserker-- only the greatest fighter in our land.  He’s been given special powers by Alti-- killed every warrior he’s ever met in combat.”

X:  “Is that so?  Well, let’s get started then.”

Wounded Warrior:  “Uh!”

Bald Warrior:  “He says that-- ”

Alti [Interrupting]:  “Xena’s coming!  Do you _idiots_ think I didn’t know that already?  I’ve felt her presence for days.  It was only a matter of time before she looked for me.  And you-- were kind enough to _bleed_ your way back here, and leave _ever_ so nice a trail.”

X:  “This one’s for you, Gabrielle.”  [Yells]


O:  “The Berserker!”

X:  “_That’s_ the Berserker?!”

O:  “No!  _That’s_ the Berserker!”

X:  “Get out of the way!”

[Flashes back and forth between the present and painful memories of the past]

X and Berserker:  “Yah!  Ahh!  Uh!  Ahh!  Yahh!  Ahh!  Ahh!  Yahh!  Ahh!  Yahh!  Yahh!  Ahhh!  Ahh!  Ahh!  Yah!  Ahh!  Yahh!  Yahh!  Ahhhhh!”

Amazon:  “You all right?”

X:  “My legs still feel broken.  It doesn’t make sense.  The power that was making me relive my past seemed to be coming from the Berserker.”

O:  “But you killed him.”

X:  “I know.  That should have released me from-- ”

O:  “Alti’s spirit was in the horse.  She seemed afraid of you.”

X:  “Now, maybe.  But as we get closer to her stronghold, she’ll get stronger and stronger.  This new power that she has-- the ones that make you relive your past-- it’s a toughie.”

O:  “Can we beat her?”

X:  “We’ve got to.”


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