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"In Sickness and in Hell"  Episode 72/404


G:  "Xena-- wake up."

X:  "Hmm-- what is it?"

G:  "Foot rot!"

X:  "Whoa!  Yeah, that's foot rot, all right."

G:  "It itches like crazy."

X:  "Well, there's nothing I can do for you, now.  Maybe if you
had 'a kept it dry like I told you-- "

G [Interrupting]:  "No, no, no-- it was your idea to traipse
through a dozen swamps to get to this god-forsaken place.  Why
couldn't you just leave your horse in a barn like a normal

X:  "Argo doesn't like being couped up.  Besides, this valley's
her home.  It's got plenty of space to run, lots of grass to

G:  "Plenty of bugs-- lots of infestation."

X:  "Hey-- I didn't stop looking for you-- and the same goes for


G:  "What was that?"

X:  "What?"

G:  "Something just-- hopped out of your bedroll.  Hold still."

X:  "What is it?  A bald spot?"

G:  "No, it's lice."

X [Gasps]:  "I have _not_ got lice.  You think I wouldn't know if
I had lice?!  Lice-- I don't think so!"


G:  "Maybe if we put your bedroll in the river-- "

X:  "This way."

G:  "Let it soak there-- then slap it up against a rock or two.
That would probably get rid of the little buggers."

X:  "This is Argo's trail.  I'm sure of it."

G:  "Then again-- it could be too late.  There might be a family
of badgers living in there by now."

X:  "Give it a rest, Gabrielle."

G:  "No, not till you clean up your act, Xena."

X:  "Hey!  I'm not the one with a fungus among us."

G:  "Oh, yeah-- _that's_ poetic.  Did one of your bug friends
whisper that in your ear?"


X:  "Did you hear that?  There she is."

Argo:  [Neighs]

X:  "She ran away."

G:  "Maybe it wasn't Argo."

X:  "It was Argo.  I know my own horse."

G:  "Well, she didn't seem to know _you_.  May-maybe she heard us
talking about the lice, and then she-- she was scared away."

X:  "All right, that's enough."

G:  "Oh-- you wanna piece of me, huh?  Fine--  I'll give ya a
piece of me.  Come and get it.  Come on."

Joxer [Jox]:  "I'm blind!  I'm blind!  I'm blind!  Blind!  I
can't-- blind!  I'm blind!  Oh-- I can see.  It's a miracle!
Ha-ha!  Oh-- hi.  [Clears throat]  I figured I'd find you guys
here.  The trail was too easy to follow.  _Any_ idiot could find

X:  "Evidently.  What? brings you here, Joxer?"
Jox:  "Well, I'm on a mission.  There's a band of marauders
that's raiding a village-- and they vowed to come back and finish
the job.  But the villagers-- paid me-- to protect them."

G:  "So-- let me guess.  You want our help?"

Jox:  "Heh-heh-heh-heh.  No-- no-- no-- I've got things
_completely_ under control."

X:  "When do you want us to start?"

Jox:  "How's now sound?"

X:  "Fine."

G:  "What about Argo?"

X:  "She saw me.  She knows I'm here.  Ah, she'll probably meet
up with us, later."

Jox:  "OK.  Then, uh-- it's settled.  We're a team-- Joxer the
Mighty-- and his mighty band of mighty men-- uh-- girls-- uh,
mighty.  Joxer the mighty, and his-- fighting, mighty, women
fighters-- fighting.  Mighty-- "



X:  "That's strange.  Argo seems to be deliberately avoiding me.
Sum'in's wrong."

G:  "Yeah-- you're telling me.  Xena-- it's green-- it's red.
It's on the move."

X:  "Sum'in's bothering Argo."

G:  "Hey!  Hey!  Human suffering, here.  Xena-- my fungus is
spreading like wildfire."

X:  "Gabrielle, just take your mind off the itching.  What about

G:  "We're out of food.  Ah-- hang on.  Here's some berries."

X:  "Aah.  No!  Don't eat those.  They can play tricks on the
mind.  Wait a minute.  There's a rabbit, over there."

G:  "_I'll_ catch the rabbit."

X:  "_What_?!  You're gonna catch the rabbit?!"

G:  "Yeah!  After all these years of watching you _slaughter_
nature's creatures-- I can do this.  Ah-ah-- look-- I don't want
you near the food.  A lice-infested rabbit is not on my diet."

X:  "I _don't_ have lice!  It's-- it's dandruff!  It's-it's-it's
a minor scalp irritation, that's all."

G:  "Whatever.  I'll catch the rabbit."

X:  "Well, go ahead.  No skin off _my_ back."

G's Voice:  "Hardy-har-har."

X:  "Joxer, tell me about these marauders."

Jox:  "Oh-- yeah.  Well, uh-- they thundered into town on
horseback, cutting down _everything_ in their path.  I tried to
stop `em, but, of course, I was outnumbered."

X:  "How many'ja see?"

Jox:  "Up close and personal?  One."

X:  "One man?"

Jox:  "One fist--- but it was headed for my face at the time.
Oh-- I did get this."

X:  "It's Scythians."

Jox:  "Is that bad?"

X:  "Well, it ain't good.  Scythians are pure evil."


Scythians [Laughing]:  "Yes, yeah."  "Throw it again."  "Yeah."

Acestus [Ace]:  "Look."

Scythian:  "Huh?"

Ace:  "What a magnificent beast.  What are you waitin' for?!  Get
me that horse!"

Scythian:  "Hyah!"

Ace:  "With a horse like that under me-- I'd be unstoppable.  And
evil will rule the world!"  [Laughs]


G:  "Yoo-hoo?  Bunny?  Here, bunny, bunny, bunny, bunny, bunny,
bunny, bunny?  Hah.  Are ya hungry?  Come here, bunny.  Yeah.
Um-mmm.   It's good.  You're such a cute, little rabbit."


Lice [Squeal]:  "Hey, don't scratch me!"

Jox:  "So, those Scythians are pretty good horsemen, huh?"

X:  "The best.  Their warriors will stop at nothing.  They're
tough and ruthless."

Jox:  "Oh-- and their women-- are rough and toothless.

X:  "How many roads into that village?"

Jox:  "One-- but it's pretty treacherous."

X:  "Well, that's good.  I'll have to work quickly, but-- if I
can block off that road-- "

Jox:  "Wait a minute, Xena, wait a minute.  INow, I appreciate
what you're tryin' to do-- but those villagers hired _me_.  And
_only_ Joxer the Mighty is gonna stop those Scythians."

X:  "Joxer, I once knew a warrior who tried to stop them.  They
buried him in Sparta, Athens, _and_ Carthage."

Jox:  "Whaddya mean?"

X:  "They _buried_ him in-in Sparta, Athens, and Carthage.  Think
about it, Joxer."

Jox:  "Oh.  Oh, it's a riddle!  OK, can I do one?  A monkey, a
rat, and a beaver-- "


[G fights rabid rabbit.]


X:  "Joxer."

Jox:  "What?"

X:  "Have you noticed anything about my hair?"

Jox:  "Uh-- yeah.  Looks-- lovely."

X:  "No.  Gabrielle-- she had this crazy idea about-- bugs or

Jox:  "Oh-- your lice.  Yeah, I can see `em from here."

X:  "I don't have lice"


[G fights rabid rabbit.]


Jox:  "Hey, listen-- I just thought ya liked bein' filthy.  Made
ya look-- tough or-- something."

X:  "I'm not filthy!"

Jox:  "Hey-- I'm not the one who has the lice."

X:  "I _don't_ have lice!"


[G fights rabid rabbit.]


Jox:  "Well, girls-- anyone want some more radish stew?  Oh!  You
know?  It's not my favorite thing to eat, either.  But _somebody_
let the wittle wabbit get away."

G:  "Joxer?  You're lucky it was _me_ back there.  That little
bunny-- would have ripped your head off."

Jox:  "Huh."

G:  "Well, I'm serious.  That was one tough rabbit."

X:  "Yeah, sure it was."

Jox:  "Mm-hmm?  Real-- man-killer.  Xena?  If it'll make ya feel
better-- I'll go look for Argo."

X:  "Oh, yeah.  Yeah, that'd take a load off."

Jox:  "She can smell me from miles away.  Here, Argo."

G:  "Maybe she's enjoying her freedom."

Jox's Voice:  "Argo!"

X:  "No, she's angry."

Jox's Voice:  "Argo!"

G:  "Why?"

X:  "I've never left her alone for this long."

Jox's Voice [In background]:  "Argo!  Where are you?!"

X:  "I know what it is.  She saw me ride off another horse."

G:  "Are you saying that she's jealous?"

X:  "She's hurt!  She's _gotta_ be hurt by that!"

G:  "Ah-- Xena-- maybe she's just visiting her old haunts.  I
mean, this is where you found her-- right?"

X:  "Yeah.  Yeah, I thought she was the most beautiful horse I'd
ever seen.  We-- we bonded-- immediately.  It was like we were
made-- "

G [In Background]:  "Oh!"

X:  "-- for one another.  We even knew what each other was-- "

G:  "Ahhh.  Mmmmm.  Yeah.  Ah, yeah, that's it."

X:  "That's not my chakram that you're scratching your fungus on,
is it?"

G:  "Yeah.  Yeah.  It is your chakram.  Xena-- come on.  I just
need relief."

X:  "Gabrielle-- "

G:  "Look-- my fingernails are worn to the nubs.  I need to

X:  "No-- you shouldn't be scratching, anyway.  It'll only make
things worse."

G:  "I'm not gonna give it to you."

X:  "Don't make me hurt you, `Scabrielle'."

G:  "All right, `Eczema'-- what're you gonna do?  Huh?  You're
gonna use your pressure points.  Go on.  Go ahead.  Go for it.
You can't touch me.  Come on.  Come on.  You're really tough now,
Warrior Princess."


Jox [Sighs]:  "I couldn't find Argo _anywhere_."

G:  "And we had such hopes."

Jox:  "Hey, your hands are tied."

G:  "Heh.  You see, this was Xena's idea of a joke.  Funny, huh?
You can untie me."

Jox:  "OK.  Hey, where is Xena?"

G:  "She went to start a rockslide to block the path to the

Jox:  "Oh.  Well, how are _we_ gonna get there?"

G:  "She's starting it behind us.  Our path will be clear?
Anyone following us will be blocked?  Don't be such a-- "
Jox:  "A what?"

G:  "Never mind.  Untie me-- please?"

Jox:  "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.  You were just gonna call
me an idiot or a-- a dork or something-- weren't you?"

G:  "Joxer, I just need a scratch.  Please.  All right.  I'm
sorry.  I didn't mean to snap your head off.  It's my fungus
talking!  Joxer-- come on!  You know how I feel about you."

Jox:  "How _do_ you feel about me?"

G:  "Well, you know, uh-- I-I value-- "

Jox:  "My what?  What?  What'd you say?"

G:  "Um-- I-I don't think this is a-a really good time-- right

Jox:  "Oh, sure it is, Gabrielle.  Go on-- spit it out."

G:  [Throws up on Jox]


Jox:  "Come on."

X:  "Mmmmm."


X:  "I don't ask for much.  I just want my _pony_ back.  Where's

Jox:  "Nature called."

G's Voice:  "No, it screamed like a wild Banshee."

Jox:  "You know?  Argo's a nice horse.  I'm sure a _lot_ of
people would like to have her."

X:  "Are you out of your mind?  Argo wouldn't go to anybody else.
She'd _die_ first."

G:  "Oh, Argo, Argo, Argo.  Someone walked by with an apple, and
she followed him home."

X:  "Ha!"

G:  "That's what horses do!"

X:  "Hmm."

G:  "What did you put in my breakfast?"

Jox:  "Just radishes and water.  Why?"

G:  "My stomach feels like Monday morning in Tartarus."

Jox:  "You know?  I just think you're feeling a little puffy,
irritable, and bloated, today."

X:  "Mmmmm.  Give me the scroll."

G:  "Uh!  Next time, find your own bush!"

Jox:  "Girls, please-- there's bushes enough for _everybody."


Man's Voice:  "Watch behind you."

Warrior:  "Uh-- a landslide has, uh-- blocked the route that the
rest of the men were to use to join us.  They'll have to take a
detour, and that could take a while.  Shall we proceed without

Ace:  "No.  We'll wait here till they get through."

Man's Voice:  "Watch it!"

Ace:  "Give me more time to break her."

Warrior:  "You-- think-- that'll work?"

Ace:  "I hope so  I'd hate to have to kill such a beautiful



Jox:  "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!  Fear not.  Joxer the Mighty has returned.
Ha-ha!  [Groans]  Ha-ha!"

Older Man:  "Here's the guy that ran out on us!"

Voices:  "Get him!"

Jox:  "Wait.  Wait.  Wait, wait.  I'm Joxer the Mighty--
[Sings]  Oh-- Joxer the Mighty,
He roams through the country-- side?"

Older Man:  "Oh-- not that song, again!  I can't get it out of my
head!  The meter is awful!  Kill him!"

Jox:  "Wait.  Now, wait a minute.  Hold on.  Hold on.  Hold it.
Hold it.  Look-- I realize you haven't been real happy with my
services, sooo-- I've recruited two _great_ warriors for you!
Meet-- Xena, the Warrior Princess-- and her sidekick--

A Man:  "They're gonna defend our village?"

X:  "Yeah-- but we're gonna need a little help.  Uh-- go to your
houses and collect together all your-- your tools and-- your

Jox:  [Giggles idiotically]

X:  "Give Joxer a list of every able-bodied villager-- and secure
the outhouse!"

A Man:  "The outhouse?  Is that important?"

X:  "It is to me!  Ahhhh!  Get out of my way!"


G:  "Uhh.  Uhh."

Woman:  "Uh.  Don't look, children."

G's Voice:  "Oh, yeah."

X's Voice:  "That'll teach ya."

A Man:  "What are you?  Crazy?  The Scythians will wipe the floor
with these two."

Jox [Laughing]:  "Relax.  Everything's under control.  [Aside to
X and G]  Listen-- would you guys stop scratching and picking for
a minute?  Everyone's gettin' nervous.  Would you go out there
and flex a little warrior muscle, please, and-- maybe-- kill--
something?  Uh."

X:  "We're doing all we can to avert an all-out war with the
Scythians.  But in the unlikely event that you will be called
upon to act-- you'll need to use-- one of these.  I need a
volunteer.  I pick you"

Mustached Man:  "Mmm?"

X:  "Yeah.  Come on, come on, come on.  Don't be shy; your mother
wasn't.  All right, hold that.  Got it firm?"

Mustached Man:  "Yeah."

X:  "All right, you got it?  Oh yeah, you got it.  Mmmmm."

A Man:  "Hold it.  Even if everyone in the village learns to use
a sword-- we're still in trouble.  The Scythians have horses--
and _lots_ of 'em."

X:  "Good point.  I'm glad you brought that up.  See, I'm lookin'
for a horse-- my horse.  It's gold-- with a white mane."

A Man:  "One horse?  Doesn't sound like much of a plan to me.
The Scythians could be back at any moment.  What are you gonna do
about it?!"

X:  "Now, you listen to me!  We have already _blocked_ the roads,
so they won't be here for a while, and that'll give us time to
prepare.  Here's what we'll need."

A Man:  "What is it?  A list of weapons?  Linseed root?  Willow

X:  "Uh, yeah.  We'll also need a room and a bath."

A Man:  "You can stay here.  And you're welcome to use the town's
natural mineral bath."

X [Belches]:  "Hmm, good.  Gabrielle?"

G:  "Uh-huh?"

X:  "Let's go."

Jox:  "You get used to the smell."


G:  "Are you sure this is necessary?"

X:  "Only if you wanna get rid of your fungus."

G:  "What do the Scythians want with these people?  They're just
poor.  They have nothing but mineral baths."

X:  "And Greek fire."

G:  "What's Greek fire?"

X:  "See over there?  That's oil that's been heated deep in the
ground.  In the wrong hands, it can be _very_ dangerous."

Jox:  "Guys!  Guys!  Great news.  I talked to the villagers.
They've decided _not_ to stone you-- us.  Decided not to stone--
me.  Uh, Xena, here's that, uh-- medicine you wanted.  Uh-- you
were right.  All the villagers are having stomach problems.
How'd ya know?"

X:  "Just a wild guess."

Jox:  "Oh.  Oh, well, I-- I got that list you wanted?  Um-- I've
arranged-- all the, uh-- villagers by, uh-- height, weight, and,
uh-- fighting ability.  So, uh [Clears throat]-- I'm gonna go,
uh-- marshal the troops."

X:  "Let's hope we feel better before it comes to that."

Jox:  "Oh."

G:  "This stuff stinks.  What is this?  Sheep dung?"

Jox:  "Goat poo."

X:  [Snickers]

G:  "He's kidding, right?"

Jox:  "Heh.  Just, uh-- yike."

X:  "Well, it's working, isn't it?  Ahhhhhhh!"


Louse:  [Screams]

X:  "Why, I oughtta-- "


X:  "Uh-- duh."

Louse:  "Owwww!"

G:  "You thinking about Argo?  [Clears throat]

X:  "It's hard not to."

G:  "Xena, I know how close you too are.  But I don't think she's
holding a grudge against you."

X:  "You don't know how moody she can be.  She doesn't open up to

G:  "She doesn't like me, does she?  What is it?  Is it my
personality?  What?  My hair color?  The fact that I talk about
her like she's a real person?"

X:  "You know?  We gotta watch for that innkeeper."

G:  "Why?  What does he have?  What?  What?  Ringworm?"

X:  "No, he's in with the Scythians."

G:  "How do you know that?"

X:  "His place is the only one in town that isn't damaged.  My
guess is he's already sent out a messenger, and a Scythian
assassin is on his way."

G:  "Maybe he'll put me out of my misery."

X:  "What are you drinkin'?"

G:  "Linseed root.  You said it was good for my skin."

X:  "_On_ your skin.  You're not supposed to _drink_ it."

G [Speech thickened]:  "Well-- so?  I mean-- what could happen?"

X:  "Your mouth could go numb"

G [Speech thickened]:  "I can't feel my tongue.  Theena, I can't
feel my tongue."

X:  "The numbness should go away in a few days."

G [Speech thickened]:  "What?  [Sighs]  It's not [?]"

X:  "Heh-heh."


Assassin [Ass]:  "Yah!  Hmm?"

X:  "Ahhhh!"

Ass:  "What the--?"


X:  "Uhh!  Gabrielle?  Gabrielle!  Wake up.  Stomach.  I did it.
Find out what you can."

G [Speech thickened]:  "Theena hath jutht cut off the flow of
blood to your brain."

Ass:  "What?!  What did you say?!"

G [Speech thickened]:  "I thaid that Theena-- hath jutht cut off
the flow of blood to your brain.  Talk.  Talk!  Tell uth what you

Ass:  "Help!  Somebody!"


Ass:  "Keep her away from me."

X:  "Keep talkin'."

Ass:  "All right.  I'm Euryalus.  My brother's is Acestus-- the
leader of the Scythian army."

X:  "What's he got up his sleeve?"

Ass:  "I'm not tellin' you what he's got planned."

X:  "All right.  Gabrielle, go in there and give him a nice, big

Ass:  "All right!  As soon as the rest of our men arrive-- he
plans to attack the town from both ends at once.  He'll lead his
elite guard from the south.  I'll bring in the rest of the army
from the north."

X:  "I think the last part of that plan's just changed."

Ass:  "You don't know my brother.  He's not gonna leave me here
in this jail cell to rot."

X:  "Don't tell us about rot."


G [Speech thickened]:  "It'd be eathier if we had Argo."

Jox and X:  "What?"

G:  "Argo!"

X:  "Yeah-- it'd be a lot easier if we had Argo."



G [Speech thickened]:  "Theena-- what ith it?"

X:  "It's Argo."




X:  [Whistles]

Ace:  "What's wrong with you?!  What's wrong with you?!"

X:  "That's it, girl!  Come on, it's me!  Yahhhhhhhh!"

Warrior:  "Here!  Tie this to the bars!"

Ass:  "Come on!  Yah!"

Ace:  "We'll be back!  Greek fire, it will be _ours_!  And we
will _rule_ the world!  Come on!"


X [Moaning, Callisto-like, while lice are screaming out]:  "I
just can't believe that Argo would let someone else ride her.
Wh-what we had was such a beautiful thing.  [Crying]  I ruined

Jox:  "Boy-- did you see that horse that Scythian was ridin' on?
What a beaut."

G [Speech thickened]:  "Joxer-- Joxer, it wath Nargo."

Jox:  "It looked a little like Argo, too.  He was kickin' her
real hard.  What?!"

G [Speech thickened]:  "Theena-- maybe Nargo didn't hear you."

X:  "Oh, she heard me all right."

Jox:  "So, why was she lettin' that bad guy ride her?"

X:  "I don't know!  But I'm gonna get her back.  Joxer."

Jox:  "What?"

X:  "You're the secret weapon."

Jox:  "Me?"

X:  "You're going to neutralize the rest of the army-- while I
get my horse back."

Jox:  "I am?  I mean-- I am.  The whole amy?!"


G [Speech thickened]:  "I don't know if my lithe hath funguth or
my funguth hath lithe.  Who ith that?"

X:  "This-- is the cook from Acestus' army-- who will ensure that
Joxer's made welcome."

G [Speech thickened]:  "Do you really think that Jockther can do

X:  "Gabrielle, he gave the _villagers_ a stomach virus.  He gave
_us_ a stomach virus.  With any luck, he'll do the same for the
Scythian army."

G [Speech thickened]:  "Did you thee Argo?"

X [Nasally]:  "No, I didn't [Normal Voice]-- no, I didn't.  The
Scythians treat their horses really well.  The commander's
horse'll have her own tent-- that one.  All right.  You keep an
eye out.  Any sign of trouble-- just whistle."

G [Speech thickened]:  "OK."


Jox:  "OK.  Remember now, Joxer, you're the secret weapon.
[Sings]:  Oh, Joxer the--

Warrior:  "What did _you_ want?!"

Jox:  "Anyone hungry?  Heh-heh."


X:  "Hey, girl.  It's me.  I know I smell funny, but-- I had kind
of a tough week.  Look-- I know you've been mad.  I know that
you've been avoiding me.  But I've come back, and I'm never gonna
let you go, again.  So, let's get out of here, huh?"

Argo:  [Neighs]


Jox:  "You know, uh-- I'm a graduate of the Royal Athenian
Academy of Cooking.  I cooked for the king-- before he died.
Here you go.  Heh-heh.  Oh-- a little for you.  A little for
_you_.  A little _more_ for you-- big fella."


Jox:  "I was the cook for the royal Trojan army.  Their, uh,
legendary flatulence had nothing to do with me, of course.
[Chuckles]  OK."


X:  "Hey."


G [Speech thickened]:  "Ppppthhh!"


X:  "Now, you keep that up, and _everybody's_ gonna know that
we're here."


Warrior:  "Let's go."


G [Speech thickened]:  "Gabrielle, you can whithle.  Pthhhh."


X:  "I am _not_-- leaving-- without you."


G [Speech thickened]:  "Pthhhhh.  What elthe could go wrong?"


X:  "Ahhhh!"

Warriors:  "Look at her!"  "Watch  it."


G:  "Ahhh!  Ah!  Ahh!"




X:  "Ahhh!  Ahhh!  Ahhhhh!  Ahhh!  Ahhhh!  Ahhh!  Ahh!  Ahhhhh!
She-yah!  I'm not givin' up on you, girl!

Ace:  "Xena-- this means the village is unprotected.  Take the
rest of the men.  Go strike the village at once."

Ass:  "Right."

Ace:  "I'll take care of her."


Jox:  "That oughtta do it."

Warriors:  [Passing Gas]

Ass:  "Quick!  All you men, prepare to-- uh!"


Argo:  [Neighs]

X:  "All right, Acestus."

G:  "Xena!"

X:  "All right, girl.  You want me?  [Whispers]  You got me."

G:  "What are you doing?!  Defend yourself!"

X:  "Argo-- here-- let's get this off 'a you, huh?  OK.  There.
There.  I knew you couldn't do it to me, girl.  We've been
through too much, together, huh?  You came pretty close, though."

Ass:  "Yah!  Yahhhhhhhh!"

G:  "Look out!"

Ass:  "Yahhhh!"

G:  "Yahhh!"

Ass:  "Uh!  Ahhhhhh!"

X:  "Wait there."

Ace:  "You need a lesson-- in loyalty!"

X:  "She-yah!  Nobody touches my horse.  Ahhhhh!"

Ace:  "Come on!"

X:  "Get on it!"

Ace:  "Ha-ha-ha!"

X:  "Uh!  Ahh!"

G:  "Are you all right, Xena?"

X:  "I've never been better.  Come on."

Ace:  "Uh!" 


X:  "OK.  Look-- I missed ya.  I missed ya so much.  Look-- I
promise I will never leave you alone for that long, again.  I
thought I was never gonna getcha back.  Just one thing.  How did
Acestus win you over?  What did it?  Apples?  Ya left me for
apples?!  Well, thanks, pal."


G:  [Yawns]

X:  "Tsk."

Older Man:  Thank you, Joxer, for saving our village."

Man's Voice:  "Thank you."

Older Man:  "Here's the five hundred dinars we promised ya."

Jox:  "Five hundred dinars?  That's a lot of dough.  Wow-- why,
with this kind of dough, I'm gonna buy-- buy you a new village.
Here, take this.  I can't accept it.  Grow.  Prosper!  Ha-ha!"

Older Man:  "How can we ever repay you?!"

Jox:  "Well, um-- if you ever thought of renaming your village--
`Joxonia'-- or `Joxopolis'-- I wouldn't object."

G:  "That was a nice thing you did."

Jox:  "Hmm.  You know, Gabrielle-- it's moment like that-- that
make a warrior's life worthwhile."

X:  "If you think about it, you brought down the entire Scythian
army without spilling a single drop of blood."

Jox:  "Hmm.  True."

G:  "Yeah, ya have talent.  Ha-ha.  It's contagious."

Jox:  "Yeah.  Joxer the Mighty-- immune to all diseases.  
[Sings]:  Oh-- Joxer, the Mighty--  
Never gets a fever.
He's eager as a beaver.
He's Joxer--
He's Joxer, th-- uh!  Gah!"

X:  "How are _you_ feeling?"

G:  "I'll live."

X:  "This week's been kind of tough on everyone, I guess.  But--
you know, I'm always there for you and-- and, you're always there
for me, s-- .  Friends-- ooh, I got _all_ the friends I _need_."

Louse:  "Ooh!  Ow!  Yowie!"


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