"The Key to the Kingdom" Episode 81/410
[TEASER]
Soldier: "Careful. This porker's priceless."
Autolycus [Auto]: "Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-- pearls before swine.
Where are you, my little beauty? Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h. Well, well,
well. Let's see. You-- touch the chimes-- the trap-- _snaps_
shut. Oh-h-h-h! Ya lose a hand. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Incredible.
Genius. Foolproof. Two minutes, tops. [Chuckles] Ever-- so--
gently. [Whistles] Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. [Blows]
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Well-- not the worst drop I've ever made--
but by far-- the most profitable. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Hi-- yup!
Ooh, that gets harder every year. Mmm. [Chuckles] [Sighs]
Now, let's take a look at _you_. Xena. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Hey--
small world, huh? Uh-- ooh, ya-- have business here? Everything
seems to be closed. Uh-- yeah. Say, how'd ya like to go grab a
bite to eat? I know this great little place. You'd-- . [Sighs]
Oh, come on, Xena. It's just a lousy, little ruby. It's not
even worth talkin' about! They won't even know that it's gone."
Soldier's Voice: "Look! The ruby! It's gone!"
Auto: "Aw-w-w. All right!"
Soldier's Voice: "The ruby! It's back!"
Auto: "I gave it back! You happy now?!"
Meg: "What are ya/! Stupid or somethin'?! That thing was worth
a fortune!"
Joxer [Jox]: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, Meg-- ya little minx, ya.
Sorry, he's usually a brilliant thief."
Auto: "Meg, who's Meg?"
Meg: "Meg's me-- and who's brilliant?! `Cause it ain't you, Mr.
Stinky!"
Jox: "Hey! She-- _fooled_ ya, _didn't_ she?! Ya thought she
was Xena-- but she's not. She's Meg. Hey-- got a proposition
for ya."
Auto: "Now, now, now-- wait a minute. You're saying that's not
Xena?"
Jox: "No."
Auto: "So-- let me get this right."
Jox: "Yeah, yeah."
Auto: "I threw that precious gem over the wall for no good
reason-- huh? Hey! Can you imagine that?!" [Laughter] I'll
kill ya, ya moron! Wait till I get my hands on you!"
Meg: "Brawl! Yeah!"
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[ACT I]
Man's Voice: "Let's have a little fight!"
Meg: "Come on! Come on! Make yourselves at home. Ya want some
grog? Plenty of grog. Three grogs!"
Auto: "So? What's this all about?"
Jox: "Well-- "
Meg: "I don't know if I want to tell you. After all, ya haven't
made much of an impression on me-- yet." [Snarls]
A Man's Voice [In Background]: "My turn!"
Jox: "Wait a minute, Auto. Now-- I got a proposition for ya.
You ever heard of-- `the crown-- of Athena'?"
Auto: "Crown of Athena? You kidding? Who hasn't? I've been
after it for years."
Waitress: "Here you go."
Auto: "Problem is, Athena locked the crown away twenty years
ago, after King Cleades disappeared. You need some kind of a
key, but it's a closely-guarded secret."
Meg: "You'd be surprised what a young, nubile guard will scream
out when he's about--"
Jox: "-- to meet-- his maker."
Auto: "Yeah? Well, you seem to have a talent. What's your
interest in this?"
Jox: "I worked it out. It's all even-steven. I get half, she
gets half, and you get half. Yeah? Ow!"
Auto: "Just what I thought. It's hollow."
Meg: [Belches]
Auto: "Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Thrasos ruled by
two extremely greedy warlords? Ormestin and this-- Kryptos
character? How you gonna get around them-- huh?"
Meg: "Hello."
Jox: "That's why Meg's dressed like Xena. Look-- Joxer-- the
mighty-- brings Xena-- "Warrior Princess" and Autolycus, the king
of thieves-- "
Meg: "Aka, `Mr. Stinky.'"
Jox [Laughs]: "That's so-- in-- chains."
Auto: "In chains?"
Jox: "Yeah-- oh, look, look, look, look-- let me explain it to
ya. Now-- they're grateful. They make me-- `lord of the realm'
and-- `ruler of the treasury'. `More wine, my lord?' `No, no.'
Ha-ha-ha! You see? I sneak into the treasury-- take the key
from one of the guards. I say something like, `What's that over
there?' Ya know? Then I free you two-- we walk off _rich_ into
the sunset. Well-- whaddya think?"
Auto: "I think it's inbreeding. Now listen, you two-- I'm the
expert here. There's nothing I haven't been able to break
_into_ or out of."
Meg: "Oh, come on. There's nothing so appealing to a woman as
a-- man who can admit his flaws."
Auto: "Well, uh-- just between you and me-- I do have this
little problem with these Scythian double-latch locks.
[Laughing] For some reason-- they're not my forte."
Jox [Sarcastically]: "Heh-heh-heh-heh."
Auto: "Still-- it's my plan or no plan. You got it?"
Meg: "So, what's your plan?"
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Tax Man: "Come on! Hurry it up!"
Man: "Please-- that's really all that we have."
Tax Man: "You know that lying to the tax collector's a crime,
don't you?! Or would you prefer to talk to the soldiers?"
Auto in disguise [AID]: "Maybe you'd rather talk to us first."
Jox in disguise [JID]: "Ha-ha!"
Tax Man's Voice: "Who are you?"
AID: "We're-- villains!"
JID: "Bad! We'll kill you! We'll cut-- cut you and then w-- "
AID [Softly]: "They get the idea. [Normal Voice] Give us all
your money, tax collector."
"X": "This is a good day to die."
AID: "Oh, no. It is the warrior X-Xena."
JID: "What! Oh! What shall we do?!"
AID: "We must attempt to _fight_ her!"
JID: "I will ram her through with my sword! Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!
Ah-h-h-h! Ah-h!-Ah-h!-Uh! She took my hand! Ah-h-h! Ah-h-h!"
AID: "Ah-h-h-h! Oh-h-h-h-h! Oo-o-o-h! Oh! Spare us, Xena!"
"X": "Now, go awy from this place-- and don't come back, or you
will suffer the wrath of Xener [sic]! Rah-h-h-h-h! Be not
afraid. I'll not harm you. Take me to your leader. We've got
some things to discuss."
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Auto: "With a body like that, and brains like mine, there are
definitely some possibilities, here."
Jox: "Hey! That's my _girl_ you're talkin' about."
Auto: "That's _anybody's_ girl I'm talkin' about. Come on. She
doesn't have an ounce of loyalty for any one man. Trust me-- I
know the type. I _love_ the type."
Jox: "Hey-- Meg's different. She's also _missing_ something."
Auto: "Yeah-- me, pressed _right_ up against her."
Jox: "Look, Auto! Get this throught that thick, thieving skull
of yours-- Meg has had a hard life, and she _needs_ our help.
Now I'm asking you as a friend-- _lay_ off of her."
Auto: "You really like her, don't you? Don't you worry, little
buddy. You're dealing with a man of honor. However, honor
requires a higher percentage of profits."
Jox: "Good. Good, I'm glad you're finally seeing things my
way."
Auto: "Fine. Make yourself useful and go get some horses."
Jox [Whispers]: "'K."
Auto: "Onto the next."
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Kryptos [Kry]'s Voice: "You're forming another army?"
"X": "Exactly-- only my enemies know that I've come here to form
an _alliance_ with ya, so they've sent an assassin to kill ya
both."
Kry: "Impossible. Our secret police would've told us by now."
"X": "Oh, secret police?"
Ormestin [Orm]: "Yes?"
"X": "Well, _everybody_ knows about them. But don't worry. _I_
can stop the assassin. Just show me your security arrangements."
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Orm: "And of course-- there's a platoon of soldeirs on every
floor. That door there is a door to a storage chamber."
"X": "What about this one?"
Kry: "That's-- off-limits to all except the inner circle of
Thrasos."
"X": "Well, that's good. That's really good."
Orm: "Let's continue."
"X": "Secret police. Keep your eyes peeled for an assaassin.
There'a reward in it for ya."
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"X": "Does this window face west?"
Kry: "Ye-es. Why?"
"X": "Well, if you don't know, I'm _not_ going to tell you. It
looks pretty secure. What else ya got for me?"
Auto: "Good girl, Meg. Just give me three minutes."
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Auto: "N-n-n-no."
1st Guard: "It's the assassin!"
2nd Guard's Voice: "After him!"
Auto: "Whoo-hoo-hoo!"
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Auto: "What? What is this? Where's the key? Meg-- there's no
key. There's just some kid, some-- baby kid."
Meg: "The baby kid is the key, Mr. Stinky. [As "X"] Guards!"
Auto: "What the-- ?"
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[ACT II]
Auto: "What are you doing?"
"X": "Autolycus, will you never learn? Why don't you tell `em
that it was all my idea, huh? Tell `em that it was all _my_ plan
so that I could come in here and steal the key. No. Oh, no--
better yet-- why don't you tell `em that I'm not the real Xena.
That's his usual line."
Kry: "Take him away. Lock him in the dungeon."
"X": "In stocks! With double-latch Scythin locks. It's not his
furte [sic]"
Kry: "It seems-- we owe you a debt of thanks, Xena."
"X": "I come here looking for allies, and what do I find? Lax
security and _thieves_ stealing babies. [Sighs] It's a wonder
you aren't both dead already."
Orm: "I assure you, the-- "
"X" [Whispers]: "Shh. No. No. [Normal Voice] The alliance is
off. Just be grateful that I don't come down here with my whole
army to _muss_ up your fancy hair!"
Orm: "Uh, what about the assassin?"
"X" [Whispers]: "Oh, [Normal Voice] you're on your own, girls."
[Chuckles]
Gryphia [Gry]: "Hmm?"
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Orm: "There is no doubt-- "
Kry: "Not now."
Gry: [Sighs]
Soldier: "Everything all right, Ma'am?"
Gry: "Yes. The key needs his sleep. You can leave us."
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Auto: "Oh, Scythian double-latch locks. Ho-ho-ho-- I can't
believe I fell for that. It's all right. It's just a little
more work-- but it'll _all_ be worth it-- once I get my hands on
that-- no-- "
Gry: "Why did you steal the key?"
Auto: "Steal him? She _stole_ him?"
Gry: "Tell me about her-- about Xena."
Auto: "Well, with all due respect, Ma'am? Who are you?"
Gry: "I'm Gryphia, the guardian of the key."
Auto: "Ah. Um. Well-- Xena is this warrior. She goes around--
righting wrongs and saving people. It's all pretty sappy, but
she seems to get her kicks out of it. The problem is-- that was
not Xena. It was an exact look-alike-- some lady named Meg--
soon to be the late Meg if I get my hands on her."
Gry: "Then-- she doesn't know the secret of the key?"
Auto: "What secret?"
Gry: "She must be told."
Auto: "Told?! Told what?! Wwhat was that all about?"
Old Man [Laughs]: "You're trying to steal the crown of Athena!
[Laughs] Oh! Sure to fail!"
Auto: "Oh, and I was doing so well."
Old Man: "The crown of Athena belonged to King Cleades.
`The key will point to the door--
To the crown of Athener [sic] and more.'"
Auto: "Go on."
Old Man: "`Once the key opens the door--
The child-- w-will be no more.'"
Auto: "That's very poetic, but it doesn't sound good for the
kid. Then again-- once I find the door, when have I ever needed
a key? Ha-ha-ha-ha. Now, bear in mind-- no matter what you are
about to see-- this is a very-carefully planned technique I've
used more than once to escape from the dreaded Scythian
double-latch locks. Ah-h! And that is why I am the king of
thieves. Now if you'll excuse me-- I'll be out for a few
minutes."
Old Man: [Laughs]
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Jox: "There you are! I was beginnig to give up hope. Where's
Autolycus?"
Meg: "Uh, we, uh-- uh! He had an accident."
Jox: "Oh. Wait a minute. You mean, you-- and he-- oh-ho,
wait-- you weren't gone _that_ long." [Chuckles]
Meg: "It's _not_ his. It's mine. At least, it is now."
Jox: "Wait a minute. You mean, you _kidnapped_ that baby? You
mean, all this business about-- finding a key-- was just so you
could steal someone's kid? Hey-- you _used_ me. And you used
Autolycus! And you used _him_! Tell me that's _not_ what
happened!"
Meg: "Nah, that pretty much sums it up. But nobody got hurt
`n'-- Joxer-- it's all I've ever really wanted. I wasn't _lyin'_
to ya. I just tricked ya."
Jox: "Well-- he is kind of cute, isn't he? A-goo-goo-goo.
Goo-goo-goo. A-goo-goo-goo. A-goo-goo-g-- ah-h-h-h-h-h!"
Meg: "Well, he's hungry. And I think he needs some fresh
trousers. Why don't you go to the market and get him some
blankets and somethin' to eat?"
Jox: "Why me?"
Meg: "'Cause fatherhood becomes you."
Jox: "Fatherhood. OK. I'll get him some strong cheese."
Meg: "And some pickles."
Jox: "Right."
Meg: "Aww-- little man. Oh-h-- it's been a mighty big day--
huh?! Sorry things have been pretty crazy, huh? But-- ya know?
We'll go somewhere and we'll settle down, just you and me--
Joxer-- 'cause he's funny. You're the best baby. You're the
_first_ baby. Oh, you're the _only_ baby I ever had!"
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Kry: "Autolycus is gone! He and Xena came here to steal the key
and now they have him."
Orm: "She knows how to get Athena's crown."
Kry: "How? We've been trying to figure it out for twenty years.
The key-- can point to the door. That kid hasn't shown us
anything."
Orm: "Xena has figured it out! What are we gonna do about it?"
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Meg: "Ticka-ticka-ticka-ticka! Ticka-ticka-ticka! [Gasps] Oh!
You _rude_, little man! You _cheeky_ monkey! Ticka-ticka-ticka!
[Sighs] Mr. Stinky, I presume."
Auto: "That's right, Meg. It's me-- `Mr. Stinky'!"
Meg: "So, you got out, huh? Well-- I knew you would. I
wouldn't have done that if I didn't think the old king of thieves
couldn't handle it."
Auto: "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Give me that baby! I don't do
kidnapping. I'm gonna take that thing in-- and I'm gonna collect
a _big_, fat reward!"
Meg: "Over my dead body!"
Auto: "Oh, that can be arranged. Ow! Oh!"
Meg: "OK. OK. You'll be safe there."
Auto: "You are so lucky that I'm a gentleman. Now, give me that
baby."
Meg: "I got a shamrock, and I know how to use it."
Auto: "First of all-- it's a chakram. And that thing is made
outta wood. Now-- give it to me!"
Meg: "Yeah! OK! Punkin?! Punkin?! Punkin?!"
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Jox: "Baby's gonna be warm-- fat-- and happy!
A-goo-goo-goo-goo! A-goo-goo-goo-g-oh!"
Meg: "Punkin?!"
Jox: "Don't you want your squash? Ooh!"
Woman's Voice: "Oh-h!"
Auto: "Meg! Come here, you!"
Soldiers: "Make way for the royal wagon!" "Out of the way!"
Jox: "I'm blind! Oh, pardon. Whoa!"
Man: "Hey!"
Woman: "Hey!"
Jox: "Oh, lady-- "
Soldier: "Spread out! They could be anywhere!"
Meg: "Punkin!"
Soldiers: "It's Xena! Let's go!" "Over here!"
Meg: "Punkin!"
Auto: "Come here, Meg!"
Soldier's Voice: "Where is the key!"
Auto: "Oh! Uh!"
[Fight]
Soldier's Voice: "Let's go!"
Meg: "Punkin!"
Jox: "The baby!"
Meg: "Sweetie! Pumpkin?"
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[ACT III]
Meg: "Follow that chario-o-ot!"
Auto: "The horses! Come on, Meg!"
Meg: "Ah-h--h!"
Auto: "Hah!"
Meg: "Ah-h-h--h-h-h!"
Jox: "OK, ol' Lightnin'-- we're gonna _save_ that baby! OK.
A-ho! Ah! Ah! Uh!"
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Meg: "Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!"
Jox: "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!"
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Auto: "Hey! Hey! Hey! Ow! Ow! What're you doin'?!"
Meg: "Holdin' on!"
Auto: "Well, grab somethin' else! Ow! Ho-ho!"
Meg: "Yee-hah!"
Jox: "Whoa. Whoa. A-ha! Oh. Oh. OK, baby-- Daddy's comin'.
Oh, oh! Ready? Set? Ha-hah-h-h-h-h-h! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh! Ooh! Whew! That was close. [Screams] Ooh! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow-ow!"
Auto: "Hyah! Giddup!"
Meg: "We're catchin' him!"
Jox: "Whoa! Whoa! Ow! Ow!"
Auto: "Hyah! Come on! Joxer! What're you doin'?!"
Jox: "Plan's workin' great! I'm slowin' him down!"
Auto: "Hyah!"
Jox: "Ooh! Ow!"
Meg: "Go, Auto!"
Auto: "OK, Meg!"
Jox: "Ooh! Ow!"
Meg: "Ahhh!"
Jox: "Whoa-whoa-whoa! Whoa! Ooh! Ooh!"
Meg: "Momma's here, Punkin!"
Baby: "Uh-oh."
Meg: "Who-o-o-oa. Who-o-o-o-o-oa!"
Auto: "Oh, no! Oh!"
Jox: "Ooh! Meg?! Meg!"
Auto: "Oh-h-h! Oh, you and your propositions! Look what your
proposition did!"
Jox: "Yeah, well you didn't have to help!"
Auto: "Oh, sure! You dangle a beautiful woman and a fancy crown
in my face-- what do you expect?! It was a stacked deck!"
Jox: "Yeah?!"
Auto: "Yeah! Meg!"
Jox: "Meg!"
Meg [Laughs]: "Well?! We won't be trying _that_ again, huh?!"
Jox: "They're OK! Ya worry-wart, ya!"
Auto: "Ah-h-h-h-h!"
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Auto: "Ah, this is gonna _slant_ my reputation. Why, Meg? Why
this baby? Why now?"
Meg [Whispers]: "Would you keep your voice down?"
Jox: "Sh-h!."
Meg: "When I heard about the baby-- ooh! There was no one to
love him. There was no one to hold him-- no one to tell him
stories. Well, I just reckon that's a lousy way to grow up."
Jox: "Yeah-- in that cold, damp, drippy castle."
Auto: "OK, fine-- you rescued a baby. That was the easy part.
Now ya gotta raise it. How ya gonna do that-- huh?"
Auto: "Unless-- we go after the crown of Athena. If we do, that
kid will never go hungry."
Meg: "Nobody's harmin' my baby."
Auto: "Not one hair on his chinny-chin-chin-- I promise you."
Meg: "OK"
Auto [Chuckles]: "You know, uh-- I never really, uh-- held a--
baby, before, uh. May I?"
Jox and Meg: "OK."
Meg: "Ya gotta hold the back of his head."
Auto: "Huh. Ha-ha-ha. Hey, little fella. Ha-ha-ha. Ahem.
OK, good."
Meg [Whispers]: "Who's a good boy?"
Auto: "What are _you_ lookin' at?"
Jox: "Y'old softy, you. See? It's a good thing Meg took that
baby. Now it's gonna be loved-- cared for-- raised properly."
Auto: "Yeah, it's a good thing, huh, Dad?"
Jox: "Yeah. Dad? Dad."
Meg: "They just don't understand, Punkin. Well, they can't
possible know how it is. See, what _I_ had, now-- it wasn't so
good. My father-- he died when I was really young, and-- my mom,
she tried hard, but-- why, it just didn't work out. Well, I was
left alone to do what I wanted, and I made all my own decisions,
and I guess I wasn't too good at that, neither. Things is gonna
be different for you. You see those? They're stars. When I was
a little girl, I-- I used to think that all those little lights
came from houses in the sky, and each one of those houses had-- a
happy family around a cozy fire. And the lights came from all
the open windows. And I used to think that at every window,
there was a little girl, just like me-- lookin' out at the other
lights. And I wondered what it would be like to be one of them.
Well-- one day we're gonna be one of those little lights. That's
a promise."
Auto: "You know when I said Meg doesn't have an ounce of loyalty
for any one man?"
Jox: "Yeah?"
Auto: "I was wrong."
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Jox [Sighs]: "Let's-- poke it with a stick or somethin'."
Auto: "No. No. The old man said, `The key can point to the
door-- to the crown of Athena and more.' Once the key opens the
door, the baby-- will-- drool and-- wet itself on the floor."
Jox: "That's the _worst_ legend I've _ever_ heard."
Meg: "Speaking of wetting himself, I think _somebody_ needs a
_trouser_ change! Yes, you do. Yes, you do."
Jox: "Yeah."
Meg: "Boy. Momma's got it in for you. OK. Huh! Let's see.
Oo-o-h, who's Mr. Stinky, now, huh? No more pickles for you."
Auto: "Hey. Hey! Ooh! Ooh! Hey, hey, here! Help me put this
thing out!"
Jox: "What are ya doin'?!"
Auto: "Come on! Put it out! Put it out! Ooh! Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
Look! Look! Whaddya see?!"
Jox: "Uh-h-h."
Auto: "No, besides that?!
Meg: "What? What is it?"
Jox: "It's a map!"
Auto: "The map to the crown of Athena is on the blanket. The
key-- will point-- the way."
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Jox: "There's the door."
Meg: "This cushion-- must be for the kid. That's _you_,
Punkin."
Auto: "Ooh! No, no. Don't do that. Let me check the door
first."
Meg: "Well?"
Auto: "I'm workin' on it."
Man's Voice: "Let's go!"
Jox: "Hey, someone's comin'."
Meg: "Let's just open this thing, and then we can get outta
here."
Auto: "Oh, oh! No, no, no, no, no, no! Don't put the baby
there."
Meg [Sighs]: "Are you stupid?!"
Auto: "Ah-- look-- I didn't tell ya everything. The rest of the
legend says, `Once the key opens the door-- the child-- is no
more.' I wasn't gonna risk the kid. I just had to know where
the door was."
Jox: "They're gettin' closer! Come _on_, Autolycus!" [Claps
hands]
Man's Voice: "Quickly!"
Auto: "OK-- there's our way out."
Man's Voice: "I need two men!"
Jox: "Oh! Uh!"
Man's Voice: "Fall back-- !"
Auto: "OK-- what are you doin' down there?! All right. Grab
on, now. You two get up there. I'm gonna go hold `em off."
Jox: "I'll help ya."
Auto: "No, you can't help me and save the baby, too. Get
going."
Jox: "I'm gonna get this thing up there, see? OK. OK.
Ah-h-h-h-h-h!"
Auto: "Hurry up!"
Meg: "All right. You give me that!"
Jox: "Ow."
Auto: "Come on! Hurry up! Ooh!"
Meg: "Go and help Auto."
Auto: "Ah-h-h-h-h-h!"
Jox: [Screams]
Meg: "All right. Punkin? No! Punkin?"
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[ACT IV]
Meg: "Wow!"
Man's Voice: "Come on!"
King Cleades [Cle]: "Kryptos."
Kry: "Kill them all."
[Fight]
Jox: "Thanks! What's your name?"
Cle: "You can call me `Punkin'."
Jox: "Meg! Nice moves!"
Auto: "That's not Meg, you moron! It's Xena!"
Jox: "Where's Meg?"
X: "She's up there. She's fine."
Auto: "How'd you get here?"
X: "Gryphia-- the old nurse? When you told her about me, she
came to find me. King Cleades. The child is no more."
Auto: "This is the king of Thrasos?"
Jox: "King? That's my boy! Ha-ha! Ooh-- the apple didn't fall
far from the tree! Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh!"
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Cle: "I was a fool. My people were so good-- so hard-working.
But, I took all that for granted, and slowly started to treat
them-- "
Auto: "Yeah, like animals. We saw what happened to your
kingdom. You know, your people are basically bankrupt."
Cle: "Yes. Through the eyes of a child I saw."
Jox: "Why did Athena make you a baby?"
X: "The eyes of a child are innocent. They can see the world in
ways that we've long forgotten. Athena gave him a chance to
learn and gain wisdom."
Jox: "Oh. Huh?"
X: "Kryptos and Ormestin are going to clean out the royal
treasury and take off. You can regain the throne if that's what
matters to you."
Cle: "No. The treasury belongs to my people. Without it, they
starve. I wouldn't be here today if someone hadn't risked
everything for me. I had to see love, and you showed it to me.
Those two have to be stopped. My people deserve no less."
Meg: "You got it, Punkin."
X: "You're not alone. I'll be fighting alongside you."
Jox: "You can count on me, Son."
Auto: "Ah-- would there be-- any kind of reward in this? I
mean, it's not a deal-breaker or anything. OK, OK, I'm in. I'm
in."
Meg: "Yeah, like Mr. Stinky said, I thought maybe there was a
reward in it like-- I don't know, a crown or a baby or sum'in'
but-- OK."
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Soldier: "Barge is ready, sir."
Orm: "Good. Load this up. Once the people realize we're out of
here, there might be problems."
Kry: "What does it matter? Let them riot. We have the crown.
Nothing can stop us now."
Soldier: [Yells]
Kry: "Cleades?"
Orm: "Xena. Two Xena's."
X: "That's right. Makes you wanna cry like a baby, doesn't it?"
Meg: "Yeah."
[Fight]
Meg: "Yeah!"
Jox: "Oh! Oh! Oh! OK, fellas! [Yells] Ooh! Ow!"
Soldiers: "Hmm?"
Jox: "Hold on a second. Ah-h, suckers! Oh. Ow."
Auto: "That was an original."
Kry: "What are you fighting for?! We've kept the kingdom the
way you left it! You can share in the wealth!"
Cle: "It belongs to my people!"
Auto: "Hah!"
Kry: "Your people! When did they ever matter to you?!"
X: "Ever since he was a baby! It's your kingdom-- your
justice."
Cle: "I sentence you-- to live-- away from here-- away from my
kingdom-- away from my people. Go."
Meg: "Guess this is your, huh?"
Cle: "It's not mine. It was always intended for my queen--
Gryphia."
X: "Athena made Cleades young, so that he could see anew. And
she made Gryphia old to teach her how to care."
Jox: [Cries]
X: "What's the matter with you?"
Jox: "They grew up so fast! [Cries] Can't-- he was-- big!"
X: "Meg?"
Meg: "Oh, Xena. Well, everything worked out all right.
Everybody's happy. But then I really thought I had somethin' in
there."
X: "You do. You've got a warm, caring heart with a lotta love
to give."
Meg: "For the right price. Everyone knows, that's Meg."
X: "Who do you think you're fooling, huh? You've got so much
depth that it scares you when it comes out."
Meg: "Well, look who's talkin'. There's a million little lights
in the sky, and a million cozy homes, and I ain't never gonna be
part of one of `em."
X: "Meg-- one day it's going to happen for you-- and you'll have
a family of your own-- not a borrowed one-- a family of your
own."
Meg: "I can't have children."
X: "You did a wonderful thing here, Meg. You helped a lot of
people because you were able to love one child. And I can't
believe that with all the little lights in the sky, that there
isn't one waiting for someone like you."
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[Baby giggles]
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