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TRANSCRIPTION OF
THEM BONES THEM BONES



"Them Bones, Them Bones"  Episode 98/505

[TEASER]

G:  "Xena, what does this herb look like?"

X:  "A mushroom-- just a plain old mushroom."

G:  "I think this is it.  You're telling me that this is going to
help you with morning nausea."

X:  "That's what they say.  Come on.  Gimme, gimme.  Al-l-l-l-l-l
right.  Well-- bottom's up.  Uh-- some warriuh [sic], huh?" 

G:  "You look beautiful."

X:  "Huh!"

G:  "You do!"

X:  "I feel like a slug-- a pregnant slug."

G:  "You're happy, Xena."

X:  "Oh, yeah?"

G:  "Yeah.  You know how I know?"

X:  "No."

G:  "'Cause it's the only time you make fun of yourself."

X:  "Well, maybe I'm happy 'cause I know I don't have to go
through this alone."

G:  "I'm not eating mushrooms."

X [Chuckles]:  "Oh-h-h!  Gabrielle?"

G:  "You OK?"

X:  "Yeah-- yeah, I think it was just a cra-- ."

G:  "Do I take you to a healer?"

X:  [Screams]

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X:  [Screams]

Midwife:  "Come on!  Come on!  Bring her in quickly!"

X:  "Gabrielle!  Gabrielle!  Something's gone wrong!  Something's
wrong!"

Midwife:  "How far along is she?"

G:  "Uh, about a season."

X [Screams]:  "Get me something!"

G:  "Healer, give her something!"

X:  "Get it off me!"

Midwife:  "I've never seen anything like this!"

X [Screams]:  "Get it off me!  Get it off!  Get this off me!"
[Screams]

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X [Awakes]:  "Gabrielle?!  Gabrielle?"

G:  "Hey, you're just dreaming."

Midwife:  "When your friend brought you in-- you were in
considerable pain.  I gave you a sedative."

X:  "My baby."

Midwife:  "I can't find anything physically wrong with you-- or
your child.  The best thing for both of you, now-- is bedrest."

Amarice [Ama]:  "A trader told me he saw you come in here.  Are
you OK?"

G:  "Yeah, she just needs more sleep.  What are you doing?"

X:  "Yakut-- she'll know what to do."

Ama:  "Who's Yakut?"

X:  "Shamaness-- leader of the northern Amazons."

Ama:  "The northern Amazons.  Is that a long journey for a
pregnant woman to take?"

X:  "That was no dream I had.  It was a premonition.  Something's
trying to kill my baby."

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[ACT I]

Amazon's Voice:  "Ah-- Xena's here."

Yakut [Yak]:  "Welcome, Xena.  We've been expecting you."

Ama:  "Let me guess.  She saw it in some kind of vision."

Yak:  "In fact, I did."

X:  "It's good to see you again, Yakut."

Yak:  "Come.  We have much work to do."

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Yak:  "Your child is being drained of its life-force in the
spiritual realm."

X:  "Tell me whatcha saw."

Yak:  "The entity that stalks your child, Xena-- bears the mark
of the shamaness.  You know who it is, don't you?"

X:  "Alti."

[[[[[[Alti:  "I wanna tap into the-- heart of darkness-- the
sheer naked will behind all craving-- the hatred-- and violence.
I'll become-- the face of death itself-- capable of-- destroying
not only-- a person's body, but their soul."

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G:  "But Xena killed Alti."

Yak:  "That's why she can only attack through the spiritual
realm."

Ama:  "Wait a minute.  I'm still a little confused on this whole
`spiritual-- realm' thing."

Yak:  "Nature is composed of several plains of reality, Amarice--
and they're all united by one thing-- the mind."

Ama:  "Oh, yeah-- that explains it."

Yak:  "Think of it this way.  In the day, when you're awake-- is
one reality.  At night, when you dream-- there's another.  And
what all these realities have in common-- is your awareness of
them."

G:  "Then, how do we kill someone-- that we can't see."

Yak:  "Xena is preparing to do battle with Alti in her realm--
but I'm afraid, in her condition-- she won't win."

G:  "Then I guess I have to convince her to let _me_ go."

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X:  "No-- I have seen Alti rip the hearts out of people that I
love.  I'm not going to take that chance with you."

G:  "Xena-- we don't have a choice.  I was there in India.  I
know who we're dealing with."

X:  "I might not have the strength to stop Alti, Gabrielle, but I
can stop you."

G:  "Xena-- I love your baby like it were my own.  I will do
anything I have to to fight for its life-- and I deserve that
chance as much as you do.  Let me."

X:  "Looks like you're going to learn the ways of the shamaness
sooner than I thought."

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X's Voice:  "The ritual of crossing over.  To do battle with Alti
on the spiritual plane, you must be unified with one who's
recently passed over.  Choose a creature of the forest.  This
being killed with a ceremonial dagger of a shamaness-- will be
your bridge to the realm of souls."

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Yak:  "Just as daughter becomes mother-- the student-- becomes
the teacher.  Their strength will be their unity.  Their courage
will be their guide!"

X:  "Give me your hand.  The stag's blood mingled with your own
will carry you across to the other side.  My blood-- mixed with
yours-- will be your link to the physical world.  When you drink,
you will begin to cross over.  Carry the dagger with you.  On no
account should you let go of it.  It's our only chance to kill
Alti in the spiritual realm.  If we can destroy her there, we
destroy her soul."

G:  "I understand."

X:  "Remember, don't let go of the dagger."

G:  "I won't.  Xena, don't let go of me."

X:  "Never."

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[Spiritual Realm]

Alti:  "Xena's little bitch.  Welcome to the doghouse."

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[ACT II]

Alti:  "Ha.  You see, things aren't exactly the way they are in
_your_ realm."

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[Physical Realm]

X:  "Use your dagger, Gabrielle."

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[Spiritual Realm]

Alti:  "Here, the strongest _mind_ wins."

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[Physical Realm]

X:  "Keep goin', Gabrielle."

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[Spiritual Realm]

G:  "Your war is with Xena, not her child!"

Alti:  "You've got me all wrong.  I don't wanna hurt the baby any
more than _you_ do.  I need it to be born.  Fortunately, I
_don't_ need you."

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[Physical Realm]

X:  "You have the dagger.  Use it."

X:  "Alti.  All right, Gabrielle, that's enough.  Come back, now.
All right, that's enough!"

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[Spiritual Realm]

Alti:  "I'm gonna count to ten.  And during this-- you will feel
your body shutting down.  Your heart will stop.  You will cease
to breathe."

G:  "Uh!"

Alti:  "And at the count of ten-- you will die."

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[Physical Realm]

X:  "I want you back here!  Gabrielle, you can do no more good!"

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[Spiritual Realm]

Alti:  "One."

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[Physical Realm]

X:  "Can you hear me?"

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[Spiritual Realm]

Alti:  "Two."

Alti:  "Three.  Four.  Sharp pains in your arms as your blood
pressure lowers."

Alti:  "Six.  Your brain is screaming.  Seven."

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[Physical Realm]

X [Whispers]:  "Gabrielle."

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[Spiritual Realm]

Alti:  "Eight."

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[Physical Realm]

X:  "Alti's not gonna defeat us this time.  Come on, Gabrielle."

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[Spiritual Realm]

Alti:  "Nine."

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[Physical Realm]

X [Very Softly]:  "What's wrong?"

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[Spiritual Realm]

Alti:  "One more count and you will be dead."
 
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[Physical Realm]

X:  "Gabrielle, this is not your destiny.  Come on."

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[Spiritual Realm]

Alti:  "Ten!"

Alti:  [Laughs]

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[Physical Realm]

X:  "Come on, Gabrielle!  [Whispers]  No.  [Normal Voice]  Come
on.  No.  Come on.  [Sighs with relief]  I gotcha.  I gotcha.  I
gotcha now.  Don't you ever do that again.  You never do that
again."

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G:  "I failed."

X:  "You made it a back in one piece, didn't you?  Believe it or
not, I feel a whole lot now."

Yak:  "You managed to buy us some time."

G:  "There's something else.  Alti doesn't want to hurt your
baby.  She wants it to be born."

Ama:  "What does that mean?"

X:  "Alti wants to steal my baby's soul.  She wants to replace it
with her own."

G:  "I'll try again."

X:  "No, you barely made it back the last time.  Yakut-- you
remember the burial ritual for [?] souls."

Yak:  "That ritual never worked, Xena."

X:  "Well, unless you got a better idea-- we've got no choice."

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X:  "The tree of amber grows in the temple of Chia.  If we can
get our hands on some of it, we can use it to cover Alti's
remains."

G:  "How will that stop her?"

X:  "When the amber hardens, it will trap Alti's soul."

Ama:  "Sounds easy enough."

X:  "All right, we'll split up.  Yakut, you come with me.  We're
going to go and dig up Alti's grave.  Gabrielle, I want you and
Amarice to go to the temple.  Bring back some of the amber."

Yak:  "Uh, a word of warning.  The tree is guarded by an Amazon
mystic named Chia.  She has the power to see the truth in your
heart.  You may lie to yourself, but you can't lie to Chia."

G:  "I'm ready."

X:  "Then, what are we waiting for?"

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Yak:  "We're close.  She knows we're coming."

X:  "Something wrong?"

Yak:  "No.  It's you I'm worried about, Xena.  There aren't many
women in the world who can carry both child-- and weapon with
equal grace.  And yet, I sense that your heart is not yet fully
committed to motherhood."

X:  "Part of me wants this child so bad, that I'm counting the
days till I have it.  Another part of me wonders if bringing a
child into this world is the right thing to do.  It's not even
born yet, and already it's suffering."

Yak:  "And you blame yourself?"

X:  "Of course.  It's my child.  It's my responsibility."

Yak:  "You're right.  Do you remember the story of the world
tree?"

X:  "Of course.  Shaman elders believe that, at the golden navel
of the Earth, there is a tree that has more branches than even
the gods can count.  And on these branches, perch the souls of
unborn children."

Yak:  "The part I didn't tell you-- is that when a mother finally
accepts what she is about to become-- the child will send her a
message in the form of a dove."

X:  "And what does it say?"

Yak:  "`Thank you.'"

X:  "You've come a long way since I first met you."

Yak:  "I wish that were true."

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X:  "The skull's missing.  We've come all this way to rob a--
grave."

Yak:  "This is all my fault.  I wanted to harvest Alti's power to
use it for good.  I needed her skull for my ritual-- but all I
did was unleash her soul.  And now you and your baby are paying
the price.  I'm so ashamed.  I didn't wanna disappoint you."

X:  "Disappoint.  You don't want to disappoint me.  Yakut, my
friend almost died yesterday."

Yak:  "I know.  That's why I wanna finish what you two started.
Let me face Alti myself."

X:  "No!  We stick to the plan!"

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X:  "Yakut.  Yakut."

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[Spiritual Realm]

X:  "Yakut, whaddya think you're doing?!  I thought you were
hurt!"

"Yak":  "I'm OK.  I wanted to defeat Alti myself.  I needed your
forgiveness."

Alti:  "I've always wanted to be inside of you, Xena."

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[ACT III]

[Spiritual Realm]

Yak:  "Xena?"

Alti:  "It's such a pleasure to see you again, Xena-- or should I
call you-- `Mommy'?"

X:  "There aren't many guarantees in life, Alti-- but I promise
you this.  If you harm my child-- I will hound you.  I will hound
you throughout all time, in between worlds.  I will be your
eternal damnation."

Alti:  "Well, at least we'll be together again.  I've so missed
these intimate little moments."

X:  "I'd kill myself before I let your soul replace my child's."

Alti:  "Tempting-- but no-- I like having you around too much.  I
have a way that we can both win, Xena.  I'll give you your [sic]
soul of your child.  But you must bring me back to the physical
world."

X:  "I can't do that."

Alti:  "Not by yourself.  But if you convince the Amazons-- to
put their minds to it-- then anything is possible."

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[Physical Realm]

Yak:  "I'm sorry."

X:  "Let's get back to  camp."

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Ama:  "Sure this is the right cave?"

G:  Yeah-- I think so."

Ama:  "All right, well-- let's get the amber and get outta here."

G:  "What about Chia?"

Ama:  "What, the mystic that can-- see right through you?
[Chuckles]  Ooh-- scary."

Chia's Voice:  "No need for me to _appear_ frightening, my child.
Facing oneself can be crippling-- even for the most hardened
warrior."

G:  "We've come for the-- "

Chia's Voice:  "--amber."

G:  "Will you help us?"

Chia's Voice:  "As the Amazon protector of the sacred amber-- "

Chia:  "-- I can only release it to a fellow Amazon-- and one of
you-- is not an Amazon.  I _can_ see the truth, Amarice-- and you
dare to come here hiding behind an identity you have not earned."

G:  "Is it true?"

Chia:  "You, on the other hand-- my pass."

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G:  "I've got it."

Ama:  "You and Xener [sic] were right.  What you see isn't always
what you get.  I thought if I denied that enough times, I'd make
it true.  I had no identity, so I created one.  The thing I
always wanted to be-- an Amazon.  You know, I just wanted to feel
like part of something."

G:  "Amarice-- look, for many years, I walked in Xena's shadow.
I wanted to be her.  She taught me something.  It's warmer
standing in the sun."

Ama:  "Yeah.  [Sighs]  Well, you better get going.  She's waiting
for you."

G:  "She's waiting for us.  Come on."

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G:  "We have the amber.  What happened to you?"

Yak:  "I'm OK.  Alti's got the baby's soul."

G:  "What do we do?"

Yak:  "We can't use the amber until we know the baby's soul is
safe.  Otherwise, we'll risk trapping them both forever."

X:  "The strongest mind wins.  We're gonna have to beat Alti at
her own game."

G:  "What are you thinking?"

X:  "She wants us to bring her back.  Why don't we do that?"

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Yak:  "Our focus is our unity-- our minds-- the creator of
worlds."

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[Spiritual Realm]

Alti:  "What's it gonna be, Xena?"

X:  "All right, you win.  You give me my child's soul, and I will
take you back to my world."

Alti:  "Tsk-tsk.  First, you take me back-- then you get your
child."

X:  "The ritual's already begun.  All you have to do is take my
hand."

Alti:  "I knew you'd see things my way."

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["Physical Realm"]

X:  "Damnit [?]."

Alti:  "Now, the real fun starts."

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[ACT IV]

["Physical Realm"]

X:  "All right, Alti.  Give me back my child's soul."

Alti:  "Motherhood has made you weak.  The Xena _I_ knew would
have _never_ given into this so easily."

X:  "You're right, I'm a big softie.  Now, a deal's a deal."

Alti:  "Is it?  Even in this world, I'm even more powerful than
you ever dreamed."

X:  "You'd be surprised what I can summon up in my dreams."

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[Physical Realm]

Ama:  "Do you think we fooled her?"

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["Physical Realm"]

Alti:  "What have you done?"

X:  "When you thought you were stepping into the real world, you
let your guard down.  I took you from one dream world into
another.  Welcome!  Like you said-- once you put your mind to
it-- anything's possible.  Imagine what several can do."

[Fight]

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[Physical Realm]

G:  "Come on, Xena.  Give me a signal!"

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["Physical Realm"]

[Fight]

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[Physical Realm]

Ama:  "She's killing her.  We should get her out."

G:  "Give her more time!"

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["Physical Realm"]

X:  "This has gotta hurt.  You have something that belongs to
me."

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[Physical Realm]

Ama:  "Did you feel that?"

G:  "She's got her baby.  That's the sign."

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["Physical Realm"]

Alti:  "Xena!"

X:  "Stay out of my nightmares."

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[Physical Realm]

Alti's Voice:  [Screams]

G:  "Xena-- come on."

X [Gasps]:  "Gabrielle."

G:  "You did it."

X:  "We did it."

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Ama:  "Xena must think I'm a jerk."

G:  "I didn't tell her what Chia said."

Ama:  "Why not?"

G:  "Because, I don't think it's true anymore.  I have this
Amazon necklace, and-- it's from my tribe.  There's a stone on
here-- for all my sisters.  I just added another one-- for you."

Ama:  "Thank you."

G:  "Better hurry.  Xena and I are ready."

Ama:  "Actually, Gabrielle, um-- I'm gonna stay here-- learn a
few things."

G [Whispers]:  "OK.  [Normal Voice]  See ya."

Yak:  "I don't know what to say."

X:  "What would you say to any friend who was leaving for a
time?"

Yak:  "You're not like any other friend.  I'll miss you, Xena."

X:  "Take care of yourself, Yakut."

Yak:  "Be careful.  It doesn't take a vision to know the child of
Xena is gonna be someone to behold.  You'll be a target again,
and so will your baby."

X:  "I know.  That's why I'm headed east.  I figure I could learn
a few new tricks."

Yak:  "Your baby's lucky to have you."

X:  "I'm the lucky one."

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