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TRANSCRIPTION OF
RETURN OF THE VALKYRIE



"Return of the Valkyrie"  Episode 121/609

[TEASER]

Narrator:  "Previously, on Xena."  [[[[[[Brunhilda [Bru]'s Voice:
"Only the legendary Xena could survive against Grindl and the
power of the ring."  X's Voice [Narrates]:  "I defeated the Rhine
maidens to steal their gold.  I melted down the Rheingold--
harnessing all its power into a single ring-- a ring that could
give a mortal the power of a god."  X:  "Unless you have forsaken
love, the power of the ring will destroy what you value most--
your humanity."  Beowulf [Beo]:  "You mean this monster that's
been killing my people-- is actually Grinhilda-- the Valkyrie?"
X:  "We  gotta get to the Rhine maidens.  I've got something that
belongs to them."  Odin [Odi]:  "Xena-- has a weakness--
Gabrielle."  Bru:  "I was supposed to betray you and Xena-- but I
couldn't.  You've changed me."  Odi:  "What do you hold dearest
in your heart, Xena?  Are you ready to lose it?"  G:  "You wanna
win my love?!"  Odi:  "Let her go!  Waltraut [Wal]:  "She has the
ring."  Odi:  "Right now, it's killing what she values the most."
Bru:  "-- you've put the ring on your finger.  But Xena, you
haven't forsaken love.  Take it off!"  Bru:  "The curse is
already working."  Bru:  "Xena won't know you."  Bru:  "This ring
is too powerful to fall into undeserving hands-- and so are you."
Bru's Voice:  "You _have_ changed me.  I'll become an eternal
flame for you."  X:  "Who am I?  Please tell me.  Who am I?!  Who
am I?!"]]]]]]

[One Year Later]

Lord Erick [L E]:  "This way."

L E:  "The lady of the ring.  The legend of your beauty does you
no justice.  Your destiny has arrived.  I have come to save you."

Beo:  "Lord Erick!  My lord-- this is madness.  You cannot
penetrate the ring of fire.  Only Gabrielle's soulmate can pass
through the flames.  All other flesh-- is doomed."

L E:  "A boar on a spit has reason to fear the flame-- _not_ a
viking lord."

Beo:  "That is not the only thing that stands in your way."

L E:  "I should worry about getting mud on my boots?"

Beo:  "Actually-- that is _not_ what I was referring to."

[Fight]

Beo:  "Lord Erick, call them off!  Call your men off.  This is
suicide!  To the ship!  We must return with them to Denmark."

Wiglag [Wig]:  "You're giving up?"

Beo:  "No, I'm seeking help from an old friend."

Wig:  "King Hrothgar."

Beo:  "If any mortal can defeat the demons in this cursed bog--
it is Hrothgar.  I will return, Gabrielle-- I promise you."

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Wig:  "Hey!  It looks like we arrived in time for some kind of
party.  Ooh-- excuse me."

Beo:  "What conquest are you people celebrating?"

Man:  "The conquest of King Hrothgar's heart, sir.  He's marrying
the noble and fair Wealthea."

Beo:  "Hm-m-- thank you"

Wig:  "Wealthea-- that's not a Norse name."

Beo:  "Hm-m."

Wig:  "I wonder what it means."

Beo:  "My guess would be that it's uh, Celtic or-- warrior
princess."

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[ACT I]

A Man's Voice:  "Wealthea, greetings!  Welcome to you!"

Beo:  "Xena.  Xena."
  
Wig:  "Dad, I thought you said there's no way she could have
survived."

Beo:  "I was wrong."

A Woman's Voice:  "Lovely!"

Wig:  "Uh, sorry.  I'm sorry.  Excuse me"

Man's Voice:  "Hey!"

Wig:  "Sorry.  Uh, I'm sorry.  Excuse me."

Priest [Pri]:  "Hrothgar-- the ancient ritual of the exchange of
blades-- seals your pledge of fidelity-- to Wealthea."

Wig:  "Beowulf!  This is not the time."

Beo:  "This changes all of our plans.  Now that I have Xena to
help me save Gabrielle-- I need Hrothgar for nothing."

Wig:  "Yeah, except his wife-- whose name is Wealthea."

Beo:  "Her name is Xena.  Trust me."

Wig:  "Xena-- th-the mighty warrior princess.  I don't think so."

Pri:  "Make you vows."

Hrothgar [Hro]:  "Wealthea-- I make the viking pledge-- of
eternal love and devotion."

"Wealthea" ["Wea"]:  "I'm sorry.  I, uh-- "

Hro:  "You're-- overcome with joy." 

"Wea":  "Yes, I'm overcome."

Beo:  "It was the ring.  It's the ring that's changed her."

"Wea":  "Oh-oh, um-- I, Wealthea-- promise to be a devoted wife
to Hrothgar-- and a-- "

"Wea" and Pri:  "-- mother-- "

"Wea":  "-- to his people.  Oh, I am the luckiest woman in
Denmark!"

Hro:  [Laughs]

Pri:  "Let us prepare the sacrifice to the goddess Freya."

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Wal:  "Why are men so foolish?"

Sieglinda [Sie]:  "You think it's silly for a man to risk his
life for a woman?"

Wal:  "A normal man with no other good use, no.  But Sven the
lionheart?  Noble John Thomas?  Ingmar the valiant?"

Sie:  "Hm-m-- does seem a waste of talent."

Wal:  "If they died in pursuit of the ring, I'd understand.  But
to spill their blood for the ordinary woman who lays entrapped
beside it-- "

Sie:  "Our sister Brunhilder [sic] turned herself to flame to
protect that Gabrielle.  Perhaps she's _not_ so ordinary.  And
Xena-- Xena seems to care a great deal for her, too."

Wal:  "You speak the name of that conniving bitch in the presence
of heroes?  Thank the gods she's dead and fed to the fishes.  Now
hurry it up!  Odin wants the best of these in Valhalla by
nightfall."

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Hro:  "Skoal!"

Men:  "Skoal!"

Hro:  "Ah-h-- you've come to congratulate me at last, Hikdegyth."

Hil:  "You've made a terrible mistake, Brother.  This Wealthea
will never care for you _or_ our people the way I do."

Hro:  "Never speak of my marriage that way again-- unless you
wish me to order my own sister banished!  You look as if this was
your funeral-- not your wedding."

"Wea":  "Hrothgar-- at the ceremony I had such a strange
sensation."

Hro:  "As did I.  It besieges me whenever you are near-- and I
know of only _one_ cure-- for this malady."

"Wea":  "No-- Hrothgar, Hrothgar-- tradition says that we cannot
be together until the moon is high.  Otherwise, you would jinx
our union."

Hro:  "I've waited so long to make you truly mine."

"Wea":  "I know, Hrothgar.  Yes-- and you know that I have been
devoted to you-- since you pulled me from the icy waters.  But
would it be so very hard to wait just a few more hours?"

Hro:  "I would wait even longer-- if I thought I had your heart
as well."

"Wea":  "Yes, but-- "

Hro:  [Moans]

"Wea":  "Hrothgar, my husb-- husband-- Hrothgar!  No.  You-- our
union has given me a new purpose.  You have always known that my
priorities are different than other women's."

Hro:  "You-- are a viking queen.  Your priorities are as your
master decides."

Beo:  "Hrothgar-- "

Hro:  "Beowulf!  You've come to celebrate our most-- joyful day.
My wife, Wealthea."

Beo:  "Perhaps we have met before."

"Wea":  "I think not."

Hro:  "Well-- women, huh?  Come on."

Hil:  "How intriguing.  When you saw my sister-in-law this
evening-- you looked as if you'd seen a ghost-- and now, she
looked right through you as if _you_ were one."

Beo [Sighs]:  "It's kind of a long story."

Hil:  "Perhaps if you told if to the right audience-- you'd get
the happy ending you seek."

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"Wea":  "Come in, my lord.  You wish to play a game-- master?
You're a lunatic.  Stay away from me."

Beo:  "Xena, your life is in danger.  When Odin learns you are
alive, he will kill you-- and Gabrielle will never be saved."

"Wea" [Whispers]:  "Gabrielle?"

Beo:  "Please try to-- "

"Wea":  "Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h!"

Beo:  "Odin's raven-- he already knows you are here."

Hil:  "You see, Brother?  It's as I said.  She cannot give you
her heart because she's too busy giving it to your old friend."

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[ACT II]

"Wea":  "Hrothgar, this madman has mistaken me-- "

Hil:  "Enough.  My brother has heard too many of your false
words.  Seize them."

Hro:  "Are you absolutely certain?"

Hil:  "Yes."

Hro:  "We were as brothers, Beowulf.  I would have loved you--
until the end of my lifetime.  Now it seems it'll only be until
the end of _yours_.  Dispose of them as you choose."

"Wea":  "Hrothgar.  Hrothgar!"

Hil:  "As if I would ever have allowed my brother to share our
city with some-- foreign witch.  Take them-- to the dungeon."

"Wea":  "Why did you not tell him the truth?!"

Beo:  "Because I need you to help me save Gabrielle."

"Wea":  "What for?!"

[Fight]

Beo:  "You see?  I told you I needed you.  Please?"

Vision of G:  "I'm lost without you, Xena."

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X:  "What's the matter with your men?  They look like they've
seen a ghost."

Wig:  "No, not a ghost-- a legend.  All these men can talk of is
a chance to see you in action.  To tell you the truth, I'm-- "

Beo:  "-- about to go and polish your blade.  Is that right,
Wiglaf?"

Wig:  "Fine-- send me away."

Beo:  "You feeling seasick?"

X:  "No-- but I _am_ uneasy.  I was betrothed for life and
condemned to death on the same die-- by the same man-- "

Beo:  "-- Hrothgar.  He's not the man that I knew.  He rescued a
beautiful woman who had lost her memory-- gave her a new name and
then some-- lame story about being the sole survivor of a
shipwreck."

X:  "I thought he loved me-- and now you tell me that this name
`Wealthea' is not even my own."

Beo:  "You are Xena."

X:  "I could have done so much good for the Viking people."

Beo:  "The Xena I remember-- could do more good with this sword--
than a than a hundred Viking queens could ever do.  And the Xena
I remember-- could never forget what happened in that swamp-- the
face of Gabrielle-- the most loyal friend in the world."

X:  "I remember none of these things."

Beo:  "You may not remember them-- but they _are_ inside you."

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Wal:  "Odin-- you missed the great skill-- I've achieved in your
honor."

Odi:  "Well, you'd better get ready, Waltraute-- Xener [sic] is
about to test it."

Wal:  "Xena is alive?"

Odi:  "At this very moment, she and Beowulf are crossing the
great sea-- heading towards the ring."

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Viking's Voice:  "No, you can't just go through my stuff!"

A Viking's Voice:  "-- you have to hide it-- right here-- put it
in the tent over there."

Wig:  "Uh, Xena-- can I offer you some water?"

X:  "Yes."

The Viking:  "No!  Because _I'm_ gonna offer it to her."

Wig:  "I don't think so."

[Fight]

X:  "Please stop!"

A Viking's Voice:  "Here we go again!"

X:  "Why don't you stop them?  That's enough!  Stop!  Stop this!
This madness!  Must you seek the merest excuse to fight?!"

Wig:  "That's what Vikings do!  Fighting gives our lives
meaning!"

X:  "Fighting gives your lives meaning.  Do you have any idea how
stupid that is?!"

Beo:  "Yeah?  Well, it didn't sound stupid when it came from
you."

X:  "From me?"

Beo:  "Long ago it was Xena-- who first taught Odin to embrace
violence and bloodlust."

X:  "Well, if that is true then I know I am _not_ this Xena."

Val's:  "Yah-h-h-h!  Yah!  Yah!  Yah!"

Beo:  "_They_ know who you are-- and they want you dead."

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[ACT III]

Val's:  "Yah!  Yah!  Yah!  Yah!"

Beo:  "Ready your weapons, men!"

X:  Beowulf-- I won't have this resolved by violent means."

Beo:  "It's the only means they know-- or would you rather die?"

X:  "Have your men put down their weapons!"

Beo:  "Xena-- "

X:  "If you want me to help you save your friend Gabrielle, then
you'll do as I say!"

Beo:  "Put your weapons down.  Put them down!"

X:  "Right.  There will be no blood shed here today!"

Wal:  "Long time no see, Xena.  I'd like to catch up, but I'm
afraid killing you is gonna make that a bit difficult."

X:  "I'll not fight you."

Wal:  "Yeah, right."

[Fight]

Odi:  "Enough!"

A Viking's Voice:  "It's Odin!"

Odi:  "I said enough!  Whoa.  Whoa.  Xena-- this isn't much of a
reunion."

X:  "You can kill me if you want-- but I am not the warrior
princess you seek."

Wal:  "You heard the woman, Odin!  Kill her!"

Odi:  "Silence, Waltraute!  If you're not Xena-- who are you?"

X:  "I don't know."

Odi:  "Do you know who I am?"

X:  "_She_ said your name is Odin-- but I don't know you from
your horse."

Odi:  "Waltraute-- return to Valhaller [sic] at once.  Leave
these-- noble warriors to their mission."

Val's:  "Yah!  Yah!"

Odi:  "Yah-h-h-h-h!"

X:  "See?  We saw them off _without_ violence."

Beo:  "Only because he considers you more valuable alive than
dead.  He'll be back soon enough."

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Odi:  "You're upset, because I didn't kill Xena."

Wal:  "I'm upset my lord has lost his mind.  Have you forgotten
Xena has the power to kill gods?"

Odi:  "No-- but she _has_-- and with all her memories gone, so
are her motivations.  Once she has retrieved the ring from the
flames-- it will be very easy to wrest it from her."

Wal:  "Odin-- you intend to keep the ring for yourself?  Only
those who have forsaken love can use it."

Odi:  "What can I say?  My heart is hardened."

Wal:  "No, you promised that ring to me.  You love me."

Odi [Laughs]:  "I love _no one_-- and once I've secured that ring
from Xena-- I will fear nothing."

Wal:  "Grinhilda will never let-- "

Odi [Interrupts]:  "Grinhilda-- will do nothing to stop Xena--
because you-- and the other Valkyrie-- will make certain
_nothing_ stops Xena from getting to that ring.  Hm-m?  Hm-m!"

Wal:  "On my life, Xena will die before she gets close enough to
those flames to singe an eyebrow."

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X:  "Are you a demon?  Or my own mind made mad?"

Vision of G:  "I am the truth of who you are.  Our souls are
united, Xena."

Beo:  "Xena?  Xena-- are you all right?"

X:  "Yes.  This Gabrielle truly loved Xena, didn't she?"

Beo:  "And will till the end of time.  Gabrielle saved you from
what you were-- as you must now save her."

X:  "I've heard the men talking.  They say that Xena created this
monster that awaits us."

Beo:  "Grinhilda."

X:  "It's true, then."

Beo:  "I have waited a long time to return this to you."

S:  "What's it for?"

Beo:  "You'll know.  When the time comes-- you'll know."

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Beo:  "We're in Grinhilda's domain."

X:  "Beowulf-- if I'm not the one-- "

Beo:  "You are.  Brunhilda's flame will recognize you as
Gabrielle's soulmate."

Bru:  "Xena-- Xena-- the love in your heart burns stronger than
any flame.  You belong together, Xena."

[Fight]

Wal:  "It makes me sick to see you've grown so soft."

X:  "Softness and weakness are two different things.  I have no
quarrel with you.  I'm here only for Gabrielle!"

Wal:  "You sound like one of those pathetic lovesick boys who
burned themselves to a crisp."

Wig:  "Xena!"

X:  "Wiglaf!"

Beo:  "Wiglaf!"

Wal:  "I've waited a long time for this."

X:  "Wait longer."

Wal:  [Screams]

Beo:  "Xena-- you must go now.  Go-- or all this is for-- "

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[ACT IV]

Beo:  "Xena, go.  Gabrielle needs you.  Xena, go-o-o-o-o!"
[Groans]

[[[[[[X's Voice:  "You're my best friend-- my family."  G's
Voice:  "Hey, I just saved your life!  I'm not the little girl
that my parents wanted me to be."  X's Voice:  "It's hard to be
alone."  G's Voice:  "You're not alone."]]]]]]

G:  "Xena."

X:  "Oh, Gabrielle."

G:  "I dreamed you'd come back for me."

X:  "It was like I was in a dream, too.  I forgot everything.
But even though I didn't remember you-- I felt your presence--
and knew that I would never be complete unless those shadows were
brought into the light.  Beowulf!"

Bru:  "Xena-- the ring."

G:  "The ring.  Xena, don't put it on again."

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X:  "I forged this ring.  Now I have to use it to undo the evil
it has caused.  Grinhilda-- listen to me.  You weren't always
this way.  It was _my_ actions that turned you into this beast.
Grinhilda-- I put the evil into this ring.  I can undo it, too,
if only-- !  Grinhilda, you _must_ listen to me.  Grinhilda--
look inside your heart.  Find the woman you once were.  Forgive
me.  Forgive me.  Forgive me."  [Yells]

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G:  "Xena!  Go!  Ah!  Ah-h-h!  Uh!"

Beo:  "Uh!  Wiglaf-- "

Wig:  [Sighs]

Beo:  "OK?"

Wig:  "Hm-m-- oh, yeah."

G:  "Grinhilda?"

X:  "That's right.  Beowulf-- I'll always be indebted to you for
bringing me back here."

Beo:  "Hey-- I needed the best.  The legends didn't lie, Xena--
you are the greatest warrior I've ever known."

X's Voice:  "Thank you, friend."

X:  "Let's take you home."

G:  "Thank you."

Beo:  "I'll miss you."

G:  "You have a good heart, Beowulf.  If it weren't for you, I'd
still be in Brunhilda's flame."

Beo:  "I think we both know-- Xena would have found you
eventually."

G:  "Thank you, Brunhilda."

Bru's Voice:  "Godspeed, Gabrielle."

G:  "All right."

X:  "Chk-chk.  Yah!  Get on!"

Beo:  "Not  a word, Wiglaf-- not a word."

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X:  "You all right?"

G:  "Yeah."

Gri:  "Let's go.  Chk-chk."

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X:  "Things haven't changed much around here, have they?"

Odi:  "Xena?  It seems as though you've-- found yourself again."

X:  "Odin."

Odi:  "Perhaps you've decided to return to me that which
_belongs_ in Valhalla-- the ring?"

X:  "I have brought _something_ back that belongs here, yes."

Odi:  "Grinhilda?"

X:  "Grinhilda was the best thing that ever happened to Valhalla,
Odin-- before it was poisoned by my bloodlust."

Odi:  "What do you want?"

Gri:  "Return me to my position as chief of the Valkyries."

X:  "She'll teach them a nobler use for their powers, Odin."

Odi:  "I'll think about it."

X:  "Don't think too long."

Odi:  "Welcome back, Grinhilda."

X:  "35 years ago-- the shame of it makes if feel like it was
yesterday."

G:  "Memories are powerful, Xena.  I'm so thankful that yours
brought you back to me."

X:  "But there's one that's still troubling me."

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Rhine Maiden 1 [R M 1]:  "Stay back, Xena!  You took all we had
years ago!"

X:  "I know.  I came to apologize-- and to bring you this.  It
belongs to you."

R M 1:  "What magic-- has made Xena into such a noble creature,
that she would give up the power of the Rheingold?"

X:  "It wasn't magic."

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