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“The Wrong Path”  Episode H01/101


Man’s Voice:  “You!  Get over here!”

Woman’s Voice:  [Screams]

Man:  “Out of the way-- ”

Another Man’s Voice [In Background]:  “Hand it over to me.”

Man:  “-- or I’ll give ya a second smile.  Hurry up with that 

Men’s Voices:  “All of it.”  “You’ve got more than that.”  “Come 

A Man:  “What about him?”

Men’s Voices:  “That’s all you have?”  “Let _me_ kill him.”

H:  “We heard you were in the neighborhood-- ”

I:  “-- we just had to say, ‘Hello’.”

H:  “Hello.”

Man’s Voice:  “Get him!”


I:  “I gotcha!”

Hanging Man:  “Ooh.  Ooh.”

I:  “Ha-ha-ha!  Ha!  Ha!  Ooh.”

Woman’s Voice:  [Screams]

Man:  “Huh?  Uh-oh.”

H:  “And don’t come back!”

Woman:  “Did they hurt you?”

I:  “Whoo!”


I:  “Oh, there’s nothing like a bit of exercise to get the old 
blood flowing.”

H:  “Speak for yourself.”

I:  “Oh, come on-- don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it, Hercules.  
I saw that look on your face.”

H:  “Well, then you’d better remember it, because I’m not gonna 
wear it again.”

I:  “Oh, yeah.”

H:  “Hey, look-- all I wanna do now is curl up beside the fire 
with Deianeira and the kids.”

I:  “Hey!  You’re not gonna be by the fire, tomorrow, are you?”

H:  “Oh, don’t worry, Iolaus.  I-- know you need help with your 

I:  “Good.  ‘Cause, uh-- you know, I’m feelin’ kind of stiff 

H:  “Are ya?  You know?  Me too, but-- if Deianeira’s still up, 
maybe I’ll have her work out some of the kinks.”

I:  “Yeah.”


H:  “Hmm-- kids.  Deianeira.  No.  No.  No!  Ilea.  Aeson.  
Clonis!  Rahh!  No!”

Hera’s Voice:  [Laughs]

H:  “Damn you, Hera!  You’ll pay for this till the day I die!”



[[[[[[Clonis and Aeson:  “Dad!”  Ilea:  “Mommy!  Mommy!  Daddy’s 

I:  “Hercules!  Come on!  There’s no time for dozing!  We got 
work to do!”

H:  “They’re gone, Iolaus.  And there’s no bringing them back.”

I:  “What?  What are you talkin’ about?”

H [Sighs]:  “Deianeira-- the kids-- Hera killed them.”

I:  “Oh, no.  What happened?”

H [Sighs]:  “Fireball-- Hera sent a fireball.  There’s nothing 
left of my family except the scorched earth they were sleeping 
on-- nothing.”

I:  “But-- Zeus-- ?”

H:  “Zeus-- Zeus betrayed me!”

I:  “He’s your father-- he should have done something!”

H:  “Well, he didn’t!  Now he won’t even show his face to 
explain why!”

I:  “Revenge is all that’s left, Hercules.  We wage a war 
against Hera-- you and me.  We’ll turn everything she ever 
touched into rubble.”

H:  “That’s for me to do-- no one else.”

I:  “I’ve always helped you before.  Why not now?”

H:  “It’s not your fight, Iolaus.  Go home.”

I:  “I can’t just walk away from you.”

H:  “You can if I ask you to-- and that’s what I’m doing.  
Please, just go.”

I:  “You’re my friend.”

H:  “And you’re mine-- the best one I’ve ever had.  That’s why 
I’m askin’ you to understand.”

I:  “All right-- but if you ever need me-- ”

H:  “Stay well, Iolaus.”


H:  “Go away.”

Lykus:  “But I’ve travelled all the way from Ister seeking help.  
People are dying there.”

H:  “Well, people are dying here, too!”

Lykus:  “I know nothing about that.”

H:  “It’s not your business.”

Lykus:  “Maybe I’m in the wrong place.  I’m looking for Hercules.”

H:  “I’m Hercules!  But I still can’t help everybody whose path I 

Lykus:  “Then you’re not the Hercules I’ve heard so many stories 

H:  “Not anymore.”


Lykus:  “How can you call this Hercules a hero?  He’s too busy 
ravaging his own home to help anybody.  He must be crazy.  You 
people think it doesn’t matter ‘cause the blood of Zeus runs in 
his veins.”

I:  “Hey!  Why don’t you pipe down till you know what you’re 
talking about?”

Lykus:  “I know what I saw with my own eyes-- that’s all I’m 

I:  “You didn’t look into his heart.  If ya did-- you’d have 
seen it was broken.”

Lykus:  “You don’t make any more sense than Hercules did.”

I:  “He lost his family.  You understand that?  They were swept 
away in a fireball sent down by his stepmother.”

Lykus:  “The goddess, Hera?”

I:  “And his father’s no better.  Zeus turned his back on his 
own blood.”

Lykus:  “Where’s your respect for the gods?”

I:  “In a pig trough, where it belongs.  Hercules deserves our 
respect now-- and our sympathy.”

Lykus:  “Well, I shouldn’t have brought him my problems.”

I:  “Yes-- you should have.  If things were normal, he’d have 
helped you.”

Lykus:  “I don’t know who to turn to, now.”

I:  “Are things really that bad?”

Lykus:  “Worse than anybody in my village ever thought possible.”

I:  “Then I’ll help you.”

Lykus:  “You?”

I:  “Right.  They call me-- Iolaus.  And you are?”

Lykus:  “Lykus-- of Ister.”

I:  “Good to know you-- Lykus, of Ister.  So, tell me what the 
trouble is.”

Lykus:  “A She-demon.  She turns the men of my village into 
stone, and then steals their souls and gives them to Hecate in 
the Underworld.”

I:  “Hera’s sister.  Why does she want their souls?”

Lykus:  “To satisfy Hera-- who hates us for refusing to 
sacrifice our first-born sons.”

I:  “I’ll take care of your She-demon for you.”


I:  “Ready to go?”

Lykus:  “Thought you’d changed your mind.”

I:  “Not my style.  What gave you that idear [sic], anyway?”

Lykus:  “Well, you weren’t here when you said you’d be.  I-- 
thought you might have been scared off.”

I:  “Hmm-- scared-- me-- it’s just, uh-- well, I didn’t wanna 
seem predictable.  It’s the way I operate.  Come on.”


Alcmene [Alc]:  “Hercules?”

H:  “Mother.  How did you know?”

Alc:  “Zeus told me.”

H:  “He doesn’t have the courage to talk to me, huh?  My own 

Alc:  “No, Hercules-- not now.  There’s plenty of time for anger.  
But your grief-- has to come first.”


H:  “That doesn’t make sense.”

Alc:  “In Hera’s mind, it does.  And she will do the same to your 
friends that she did to your family-- anything to destroy your 
happiness on Earth-- anything to curse you with a lifetime of 

H:  “Are you safe?”

Alc:  “Don’t worry about me.”

H:  “But-- you’re my family, too.  Hera hates the fact that Zeus 
loved you.”

Alc:  “It was a love that lasted only a little while.”

H:  “Yeah.  He lets everyone down sooner or later.”

Alc:  “But no one as badly as you.”

H:  “I wanna know why.”

Alc:  “It was a woman.”

H:  “You mean, his lust counted for more than my wife and 

Alc:  “He’s so ashamed, Hercules.  For the first time in his life, 
he wishes he was mortal, so he could crawl off somewhere and die.”

H:  “As far as I’m concerned, he _is_ dead.  From now on, I’m on 
my own.”

Alc:  “No, you’re not.  You have my love, too.”

H:  “I know I do.  And you have mine.”

Alc:  “Where are you going?”

H:  “To pay Hera back the best way I can-- by destroying her 
seven temples.”

Alc:  “That won’t bring your family back.  You’ll only put 
yourself in danger.”

H:  “Nothing will happen to me, Mother.  I’m the son of a god-- 

Alc:  “Hercules!  Hercules?!  Come back!  Hercules.”



Men’s Voices:  “Please accept our offering, Hera.”  “Who is 

Man:  “Hey!  You can’t!”

A Man:  “Don’t!”

Man:  “But he can’t just trample through our shrine like that.”

A Man:  “That was Hercules.”

Man:  “Are you sure?”

A Man:  “Absolutely.  I saw him drop a giant like a bad habit, 
you know.”

Man:  “In the same fierce mood as today, I’m betting.”

A Man:  “No-- no, he was-- much happier then.”


I:  “Don’t doubt me, Lykus.  I’ve fried bigger fish than your 
She-demon.  You know?  When Hercules and I were-- battling the 
Titans-- we were up against bearded behemoths-- eight feet 
tall-- no ten-- even twelve.  We still managed to beat back two 
waves of those ugly brutes.  [Chuckles]  I tell ya-- my head was 
echoing with the clang of swords for weeks after that-- oh, 

Lykus:  “I thought Hercules always fought his battles by 

I:  “Yeah, well not when I’m around, he doesn’t.  We’re a team--
Hercules and me.”

Lykus:  “Not what the stories say.”

I:  “Stories?  What stories?”

Lykus:  “Oh-- the one the scribes tell.”

I:  “Now, why would you go paying any attention to them-- when 
all they’re doing is passing along hearsay?  No, you go to the 
source, Lykus.  You go ask that Hydra if it was just Hercules 
out there, cutting off its heads, huh?  I got my licks in, 
too-- you better believe I did.  Uh-oh-- trouble.”

Lykus:  “Oh-- can’t you just push it out of the way?”

I:  “Yeah-- no problem.  Yahhh!”

Lykus:  “Hercules wouldn’t break a sweat with something like 

I:  “Yeah.  Yeah, you’re right.  He’d, uh-- save all his energy 
for the-- She-demon.  You comin’ or not?”

Lykus:  “Oh, yeah-- right away.”


H:  “You can’t stop me, Hera.”


H:  [Sighs]


I:  “You know?  This is really beautiful country.  You can go 
back to enjoying it just a soon-- [Chuckles].  Young love.”

Lykus:  “Orestes.”

I:  “What?  You got something against romance?”

Lykus:  “It’s the She-demon!  Orestes!”

She-demon:  “Are those for me?  Oh-- how beautiful.  Don’t be 
shy.”  [Laughs]

Lykus:  “She’s gone.  Orestes.”


Guard:  “Halt!”

H:  “That’s no way to say, ‘Hello’.”

Guard:  “No offerings today, pilgrim.  They’re showing a thief 
the truth and the light.”

H:  “The truth and the light.  Hmm-- but Hera’s the daughter of 

Guard:  “Blasphemer!  What is your name?!”

H:  “Hercules.”



H:  “Forget about Hera.  This place is comin’ down.”

Aegina:  “Oooh!”

Man:  “Kill him!”


Aegina:  “Hey!  Hurry.  Oooh!”

H:  “Funny-- he didn’t look that easy.  Don’t go anywhere.”

Aegina:  “Heyyyyyyy!”

H:  “I’m feelin’ better, already.  Sorry.”

Aegina:  “Ahhh.”

H:  “Couldn’t help myself.”

Aegina:  “Hurry!  Do you know what you’re doing?!”

H:  “Not at the moment.”



Aegina:  “Now, what?!”

H:  “Relax-- and enjoy the ride.”


Aegina:  “Heyyy!  Hey!  Ooh!  Heyyy!  Duck!”  [Sighs]

H:  “Thanks.”

Aegina:  “Heyy!  [Screams]  No!  I’m getting sick!”

H:  “Wonderful!”

Aegina:  “Ohh!  Ohh!  Are you crazy?!”

H:  “Yeah.”

Aegina:  [Screams]


H:  “So, you still in one piece?”

Aegina:  “Yeah.  Thanks.”

H:  “Here.”

Aegina:  “Hey, so-- what was that all about in there?  ‘Cause 
saving me definitely wasn’t the first thing on your mind.”

H:  “It’s personal.”

Aegina:  “Those bug-eyed loons you just beat up?  Caught me 
stealing food.  Well, an escaped slave’s gotta eat, doesn’t 

H:  “You’re free now.  I don’t believe in slavery.”

Aegina:  “What, just like that?  I’m free?”

H:  “Just like that.”

Aegina:  “Well, hey!  Who are you, anyway?!”

H:  “I’m Hercules.”

Aegina:  “_You’re_ Hercules?”

H:  “You know?  I’m sick and tired of people asking me that.”

Aegina:  “No-- I-I believe you.  You’re Hercules.  I’m Aegina.”

H:  “Well-- maybe we’ll meet again, Aegina.”

Aegina:  “Hey, what’s your rush?!”

H:  “Hera has six more temples-- and I’m going to destroy all 
of ‘em.”

Aegina:  “What, and leave me out here all by myself?  You 
know-- choosing mayhem over chivalry won’t do much for your 

H:  “Well, my reputation is the last thing I’m worrying about 
right now.”

Aegina:  “OK, look-- I’m not asking you to take me around the 
world.  I just want you to get me back to Ister.  It’s where 
I’m from, and-- it’s really great-- you know, even if I was a 

H:  “Ister-- Hera has a temple east of there.”

Aegina:  “Well, then I’m on your way.  And I can even show you 
a shortcut.  Well, I’m not a spy for Hera, if that’s what 
you’re thinking.”

H:  “Well, in that case, you’ll-- probably make it back to 

Aegina:  “What, with you?”

H:  “With me.”

Aegina:  “Great!”


Aegina:  “Come on.”


I:  “This is what they got for not sacrificing their firstborn 
sons?  Someone should turn Hera to stone.”

Lykus’ Voice:  “Those are their loved ones, poor souls.”

I:  “I wanna know where this damn creature lives.”

Lykus:  “Over there-- She-demon’s cave.”

Woman’s Voice [In Background]:  “That can’t be.”

Lykus:  “So, uh-- what’s your plan?”

I:  “I haven’t got one yet-- but I’m working on it.”

Lykus:  “You’re not gonna run, are ya?”

I:  “That is the second time you’ve mentioned that.  It never 
crossed my mind.”


Aegina:  “Hey, you’re goin’ about this all wrong.  I just hope 
you know that.”

H:  “Just because I had a weak moment, and told you about my 
wife and kids, doesn’t mean you get to judge me.”

Aegina:  “I’m not judging you.  I just think you should do 
something to honor their memory-- that’s all.”

H:  “They’d want me to do exactly what I’m doing.  Now, be 

Aegina:  “I know what I’m-- Ahhh!”


H:  “This should take the swelling down.”

Aegina:  “Ah, it feels good.  But you don’t have to fuss over 

H:  “I’m not fussing over you.  All right, I just want you to 
be-- ready to cover some ground tomorrow.”

Aegina:  “Aw-- you’re gonna be eating my dust again.”

H:  “That’s fine-- as long as I don’t have to carry you.”

Aegina:  “I really was right, you know.”

H:  “About what?”

Aegina:  “About how you should forget that witch you have, for 
a step-mother?  About how no amount of revenge will ever bring 
your family back?”

H:  “Nothing is.  That’s the trouble.”

Aegina:  “I’m sorry.  I mean, I don’t think I’ve said that.  
You really do have my sympathy.  But you can’t let it turn you 
into something you’re not.”

[[[[[[Deianeira:  “That’s who you are.  People call for help, 
and you are-- ”  H [Interrupting]:  “-- and I always go.  I 
know.”  Deianeira:  “Yes.”  H:  “But I can’t stand to see the 
gods play with people’s lives-- you know, anybody’s lives.”  
Deianeira:  “I know that-- and I love that about you.”  
Deianeira:  “You’re Hercules.  Don’t try to change that-- not 
for me; not for the kids.  You’d only be lying to yourself.”  
Deianeira:  “Who’s the mighty Hercules going to help next?”  
Old Man:  “You’ve got to help us; there’s a monster.”  Young 
Man:  “Hercules!”  Boy:  “We need you!”]]]]]]

H:  “I think you already know.  I’m gonna do what my wife and 
kids would want me to do-- help people.”

Aegina:  “Well, you’re already helping me, if you’re lookin’ 
for a place to start.”

H:  “Yeah, but-- you’re not the only person from Ister who 
reached out to me.  There was a farmer and I-- I turned him 
down.  I can’t remember ever doing something like that.  But-- 
now that I’m going to Ister, I wonder if-- ”

Aegina:  “He’d still want you to help him?”

H:  “I hope so.”

Aegina:  “He’d be a fool not to.  I mean, after all, you’re 


Lykus’ Voice:  “Are you sure this is the right time?”

I’s Voice:  “Maybe she won’t see me-- ”

I:  “-- till it’s too late.”

Lykus:  “Are you crazy?”

I:  “I’ve resisted many women in my time.  It’s a special power 
I have.”

Lykus:  “What are you gonna do?”

I:  “Uh-- cut her tail off.”

Lykus:  “But you’ve gotta get close to her to do that.”

I:  “Watch me.”


I:  “Ow.  Where’d she go?”

She-demon:  “Looking for me?”

I:  “I hope you’re ready to die.”

She-demon:  [Screams, then Laughs]


Aegina:  “Not far, now.”

H:  “What’s that?”

Aegina:  “I don’t know.”

H:  “How’s your ankle?”

Aegina:  “I can run if I have to.”

H:  “All right-- let’s go see who it is.”

Thoas:  “Turn back, heedless travellers.  Ister is no place for
the living anymore.”

Aegina:  “Thoas-- is that you?”

Thoas:  “I recognize your voice.  Aegina-- you’re a slave.”

Aegina:  “Not anymore.”

Thoas:  “Then use your freedom to go elsewhere.  The She-demon 
is turning the men of Ister into stone.”

H:  “That’s why I’m here.”

Thoas:  “You’ll only join them.”

Aegina:  “No.  Thoas-- this is Hercules.”

Thoas:  “Oh, you have my sympathy, sir.”

H:  “Well, thank you.  I didn’t know the news about my wife and 
children had travelled this far.”

Thoas:  “Your wife and children?  I was talking about your 
friend-- the one they call Iolaus.  He’s dead.”



H:  “It’s my fault Iolaus was here.”

Aegina:  “You don’t know that.”

H:  “I know what that man on the road said.  Iolaus came to help 
the farmer, and that’s what I should have been doing.  Now, I’m 
dragging you into this.  Go back, Aegina.  You don’t know what 
could happen.”

Aegina:  “I’m not leaving you now, Hercules.”

H:  “Pay attention for a moment, would you?  The people in my 
life get killed.  That’s the price they pay for my friendship 
and my love.”

Aegina:  “What if I told you I don’t want your friendship?!  
What if I told you I was using you to get myself back here?!  
Would that make you feel better?!”

H:  “No-- because I know Hera.  She’s not gonna bother looking 
into your reasons.  In her eyes, if you’re with me-- you deserve 
to die.”

Aegina:  “You can’t scare me off, all right?”

H:  “Would you get it through your thick head?”

Aegina:  “Look, I’m not Hera’s slave, and I’m not yours, 
either!  I do what I wanna do, and right now, I’m doing it!”

H:  “You’re outta your mind.”

Aegina:  “But-- I’m still a lot of fun to be with.”

H:  “OK-- as long as you understand the risks.”

Aegina:  “Hmm.”

H:  “And who the boss is.”

Aegina:  “Oh, yeah-- who’s that?”

H:  “Me.”

Aegina:  “Really.  Hey, wait!”


Aegina:  “Poor guys.”  [Startles]

Lykus:  “Easy, Hercules.  It’s just me.  I’m sorry about your 
friend, Iolaus.  He was a brave man.”

H:  “He shouldn’t have been here-- not by himself, anyway.”

Lykus:  “He volunteered.  You wouldn’t even hear me out.”

Aegina:  “Hey, Hercules had to watch his whole family die in 
front of his face, ya mutton chop!  Was he supposed to forget 
all that just to help you?!”

H:  “Take it easy, Aegina.”

Lykus:  “Why is a slave-girl talking to me like that?”

H:  “Because she’s not a slave anymore.  She’s free.  And that’s 
something you won’t be until you’re rid of the She-demon.”

Lykus:  “You’re wrong.  I am free-- free because I’ve still got 
enough life in me to walk away from this cursed place.  Anybody 
with any sense would be right beside me.”

H:  “Iolaus didn’t die so you could turn tail and run.”

Lykus:  “The She-demon’s killed enough people.”

H:  “Then let me end it for her here right now.”

Lykus:  “How do you know you can?”

H:  “I’m undefeated.  This one’s for you.”


Lykus:  “Perhaps we should stay where he told us to.”

Aegina:  “Go ahead.  I’m gonna stay here in case Hercules needs 
my help.”

Lykus:  “If Hercules needs help, we’re all doomed.”


She-demon’s Voice:  “Don’t hang back in the shadows, Hercules.  
Step out-- where I can see every wonderful inch of you.  I know 
you can see me.”

She-demon:  “Don’t you wanna touch me, too?”

H:  “I had something else in mind.”

She-demon:  “You’re scaring me, Hercules.  I don’t like being 
scared.  I like-- being loved.  Don’t you like being loved, 

H:  “Not by somebody with scales on her rear end.”

She-demon:  [Screams]

H:  “Don’t go.  The fun’s just starting.”


Aegina:  “Was that-- ?”

Lykus:  “Yes.”

Aegina:  “Oh, I hope that doesn’t mean that she just took a bite 
outta Hercules.”


H:  “Come back here!”

She-demon:  [Laughs, Screams, then Laughs]


She-demon:  “You’re going to be my favorite statue.  [Laughs]  
Ah!  [Screams]”


Man:  “Aw-- Fortio.”

Lykus:  “He did it!  He killed the She-demon!”

I:  [Sighs]

Lykus:  “Orestes.  Tellus!  Iolaus-- are you all right?”

I:  “Yeah-- I think.  It was strange on the other side.”

Lykus:  “Well, you’d still be there, if your friend, Hercules, 
hadn’t shown up.”

I:  “Hercules?  Where?”

Aegina:  “Hercules!  Hey-hey!”

Crowd:  [Cheers]

I:  “What are you doing here?”

H:  “I heard you were in trouble.”

I:  “Yeah-- I guess I was.  I was tryin’ to help you.”

H:  “You did, Iolaus.  You taught me what a friend really is.”


I:  “I saw them, Hercules-- Deianeira and the kids-- when I 
was-- ”

H:  “Are they OK?”

I:  “Yeah, they’re fine.  Now that they’re free of the evils on 
Earth-- their only problem is missing you.”

H:  “Yeah-- I miss them, too.  But I don’t know a cure for that.”

I:  “Death is the only cure-- but they don’t want you to die.  
They know how much good you have left to do.  Hold them in your 
heart-- till it’s time.”

H:  “I will, Iolaus-- right there with you.”

I:  “Well-- you sound like you’re not comin’ home.”

H:  “I’m not.  If I’m going to accomplish anything in this life,
it’s-- in another direction.  Goodbye, my friend.”

I:  “But you don’t know what’s down that road.”

H:  “That’s what I’m gonna find out.”


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