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“Eye_of_the_Beholder” Episode 02/102 [TEASER] Women: “There he is! Come on, girls!” “Get him!” “He’s mi-i-i-ne!” “Hold him!” “I’ll get him!” “Heyyyyy, Herc-boyyyyy[?]!” “Hurry!” “Come back!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Innkeeper: “Thanks, Darlin’. Yeah, well, compared to what I usually hear around this dump, you got no problems.” H: “Yeah, but King Thespius wants every _one_ of them to have a child by me.” Innkeeper: “Yeah, how many daugthers does the old boy got?” H: “Fifty.” Innkeeper: “Ho-ho-ha-ha! No problem! You’ll take care of ‘em easy!” H: “Hmm. Sorry. I’m a one-woman man.” Innkeeper: “Let me fix you some eggs. That’ll put lead in your-- ” Androcles: “Hey, Hercules! What’re you gonna do about that Cyclops in Trachas, huh?” Innkeeper: “Ah, give him some room, Androcles. The guy had a run-in with a lion a while back. He’s been a wet-brain ever since.” H: “No, it’s all right. Let him talk.” Androcles: “Yeah, let me talk. This Cyclops has been chasing people out of their homes-- hurtin’ them, too. All to protect Hera’s sacred vineyards.” H: “Hera. Is what he’s saying true?” Innkeeper: “Yeah.” H: “Then I, uh-- better go see for myself.” Innkeeper: “What about those fifty sisters?” H: “Oh, it’ll be a lot easier to deal with one cyclops.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Salmoneus [Sal]: [Whistles] Cyclops: “Far enough, little man.” Sal: “O-K. B-b-but I’m just a, ah-- a-a pumble heddler-- a-a humble peddl-- I’m on my way to Trachas.” Cyclops: “_Not_ through the vineyard!” Sal: “But there’s no other way.” Cyclops: “Yes, there i-i-is.” Sal: “Ah-ah-ah-ah! Don’t wrinkle the material! Nooooooooo!” Cyclops: [Laughs] ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [ACT I] Sal: [Moans] H: “Hello.” Sal: “All right! I admit it. I look like a stuffed owl. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Now, could you just-- get me down? Ahhh! Ooh!” H: “Are-- you all right?” Sal: “I just fell out of a tree-- and landed on my nose. What do you think?!” H: “But you are going to live?” Sal: “It’s too early to tell. It feels like I got a lotta loose body parts. And you never know about internal bleeding.” H: “How’d you get up there, anyway?” Sal: “Some lunatic Cyclops kicked me in the rear and sent me flying! You gonna help me up or not?” H: “Oh-- sorry. This-- Cyclops-- do you know where I can find him?” Sal: “You a friend of his?” H: “No, but I’m planning on looking him up.” Sal: “Do tell! Who do you think you are-- Hercules?” H: “Well, as a-- matter of-- ” Sal: “Wait a minute! Wait a minute! It _is_ you! I should have recognized ya! I’m Salmoneus, the travelling toga salesman. Ha-ha-ha! I can’t wait to see this.” H: “See what?” Sal: “See you put your _fist_ in that big freak’s eye.” H: “What I do isn’t a spectator sport.” Sal: “Oh? Then how about this? You take me along-- and I make ya a sweet deal on a new toga.” H: “What’s a toga?” Sal: “‘What’s a toga?’ My boy-- fashion is passing you by. I’ll explain it on the way. Come on.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Volus: “This is a fool’s mission, Atreus.” Atreus: “Not if we get this river back on its course. Now, come on, you two-- put your shoulders to this thing!” Volus: “It’s him.” Atreus: “Keep pushin’ here!” Volus: “I didn’t come out here to die.” Evander: “Volus, you coward! I’m gonna stomp you when I get back-- and I’m gonna make your wife and kids watch!” Atreus: “Use your anger on this rock.” Cyclops’ Voice: “Get away from my river!” Cyclops: “Or would you rather die?!” Evander: “You’re not gonna kill me, you one-eyed freak!” Atreus: “Are you crazy?! Let’s get outta here!” Cyclops: “Yeah! Go back with the rest of the women! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!” Evander: “One-eyed son-of-a-- ” Atreus: “Don’t, Evander!” Cyclops: “That’s the boy. Come and get it. You want some, too?!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sal: “OK, now here’s what I could do. I could call one of my togas, the ‘Hercules Deluxe-ees’-- huh?! Just tell me which ones you wanna buy.” H: “I don’t wanna buy any of them.” Sal: “Oh, you want something for nothing, huh?” H: “That’s not what I mean.” Sal: “No, what you mean is, you don’t care about your image. But you better start, my friend, ‘cause the public is fickle. All right-- tell you what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna give you your own line of togas-- cut you in for a piceof the action--huh, huh?! And here’s the advertising slogan. ‘Hercules, the giant killer-- takes a giant step forward in fashion!’ Pretty snappy, huh?!” Atreus: “Hey! Hey!” Sal: “Ah, potential customers!” H: “What’s the trouble?” Atreus: “It’s the Cyclops. He’s just killed one of our villagers.” Sal: “Huh?” H: “Yeah, yeah. Look, catch your breath. He’s not following you now.” Volus: “Ahh-- thanks.” Atreus: “It’s my fault we were out there. Don’t make the same mistake.” Sal: “The Cyclops isn’t gonna do anything to him. He’s Hercules!” Atreus: “Ah, Hercules or not, you could still die if you come to Trachas.” H: “Tell me what happened.” Volus: “We wanted to get the river running in the direction it used to run.” Atreus: “Ah, it’s the river we’ve always counted on for our fish, and water for our crops. But the Cyclops changed its course so it would irrigate Hera’s vineyard.” H: “Look how green the land around here is. There must be other rivers.” Atreus: “Oh, no, they’re all too far away. Hera wants the river for herself, and to destroy us. She cares only about _her_ grapes, and the wine that’ll be poured at the festival of the believers. And the Cyclops makes sure her wishes are carried out.” H: “Not if I have anything to say about it.” Atreus: “You- you’d help us? Are you serious?!” H: “When it comes to Hera-- I’m always serious.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Castor: “Heard you worked up a bit of an appetite, today.” Cyclops: “Only fools challenge me.” Castor: “That’s right. That’s why I have you on my side. I’m too smart to go up against you.” Cyclops: “Yeah-- to my face you are.” Castor: “Hey, I’m not like those _jackasses_ in Trachas!” Cyclops: “You better not be.” Castor: “Would you doubt me-- huh? How could you do that? I pay you-- to vent your anger on people who have-- belittled you all your life! No one-- has ever been as good to you as I have.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sal’s Voice: “Listen, Hercules, I can handle the whole thing. See-- you’ll be the silent partner. I’ll do the talking for both of us. You just lend me your name, and, uh-- [Chuckles] I collect the money. Of course, as the brains _behind_ the deal, I’ll need the bigger share. Let’s say, uh-- 70-30? Does that sound good?” Sal: “Excuse me. We’re conducting business, here. Thank you very much. I mean, I’d risk the exposure. I’m parched. I’ll be right back. Thanks.” Atreus: “Well, you’re the first sign of hope any of us has seen in a long, long time.” H: “You should still postpone the celebration until you see how I do with the Cyclops.” Atreus: “Well, there’s no one in this village who believes it’s possibe for you to fail. Huh? Huh?” Man: “Greetings, Hercules.” Sal: “Ha-ha! What a splendid gathering, huh?” H: “Yes-- wonderful. I’d rather fight monsters.” Sal: “Come on! Ya love it! Ya know you do.” Man’s Voice: “So, is this your lovely-- ?” Woman: “Hey! [Zoomen?]! We’re looking for Hercules.” Sal: “Huh?” Women’s Voices: “Have you seen-- ?” “-- want him.” “Uh.” H: “I’ll explain later.” Voices: “He should be here.” “-- we can find him.” Woman: “Has anybody seen him?” Man’s Voice: “This may be our lucky night.” Women’s Voices: “He must be around here.” “You must have seen him.” Sal: “Uh-- I have. He’s on the road-- to Athens.” Women’s Voices: “Oh!” Woman: “Are you sure? Athens is a long way from here.” Sal: “Then you better hurry if you wanna catch up to him, my flower.” Sal’s Voice: “But before you go-- ” Sal: “I have just the thing for you girls while you’re travelling. It’s called-- the toga!” Sal’s Voice: “Wear it, and you’ll be on the cutting edge of fashion. Everyone in Athens has them, and nobody would be caught dead at the arena without one!” Scylla: “I thought you were leaving.” Sal’s Voice [Continues in background]: “-- except the guys getting fed to the lions, of course-- ” H: “Yeah-- right.” Sal’s Voice: “-- bu-but, when the going gets hot and heavy-- ” H: “Excuse me.” Sal’s Voice: “-- believe me, young ladies, you’ll need one of these little items. Lightweight, comfortable, and get this-- you slip it off your shoulder-- and it’s [wonderful?] for evening wear.” H: “Hi.” Sal’s Voice: “Drop the hem over your knee, and you can go to work. Huh? Whaddya say, fair maidens?” Sal: “Wouldn’t you like a toga or three in your wardrobe? Hmm? Yes?” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Scylla: [Hums] Cyclops: “What are you doing here?!” Scylla: “I’m not bothering you.” Cyclops: “Yes, you are!” Scylla: “The river is yours-- the vineyard, too. Can’t you let us have anything?!” Cyclops: “Uh-- no!” Scylla: “Why?” Cyclops: “Get outta here!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Woman’s Voice: “Over here.” Sal’s Voice: “Hercules! You sly dog!” H [Yawns]: “No.” Sal: “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. The daughters of King _Thespius_, huh? You, sir-- truly are the strongest man in the world, if you can, uh-- hmm! Hold fifty hearts in sway at once.” H: “All they want is my body.” Sal: “Ha-ha! I know the feeling.” Atreus: “Hey! Now the Cyclops is attacking our women! Go ahead, Scylla, you tell him.” Scylla: “Well, he didn’t _attack_ me, exactly. But he did chase me away. And I wasn’t anywhere near Hera’s precious vineyard. I just wanted these.” Sal: “Further proof that that Cyclops is a lout.” H: “Yeah. Uh-- did he have a weapon?” Challenger: “Why don’t you go up to his lair, and find out for yourself? Or are you afraid?” H: “Don’t-- mind the interruption.” Scylla: “Oh-- no-- he didn’t have a weapon.” H: “Thank you. Now, is-- is there a problem?” Challenger: “Yeah-- your manhood-- you wouldn’t even stand up to those women last night.” H: “Oh-- I see. So, I guess that-- makes me a coward then, right?” Challenger: “Right.” H: “Right. Atreus, can you tell me where I-- ?” Challenger’s Voice: “Now, it’s your turn. First man off his feet loses.” Challenger: “If it’s you-- I’m gonna find those women and feed you to them.” Sal: “Go on, Hercules-- dent his head.” H: “Look-- I’m-- I’m not gonna play your game.” Challenger: “Yes, you are.” Sal [Laughs]: “Ah-- I should have sold tickets.” H: “Give me your hand.” Challenger: “Next one’s for you, Scylla.” Scylla: “I’d tell you not to hurt your head-- if I thought there was anything in it.” H: “I really-- don’t have time for this nonsense.” Sal: “Ah, Hercules-- wrong way.” H: “Oh, right.” Sal: “Yeah.” H: “I knew that.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [ACT II] Scylla: “Shouldn’t you rest-- before you go up against the Cyclops?” H: “Don’t worry-- I’m, a-- at my best when I can’t see what I’m doing.” Scylla: “You’re not going to defeat him with jokes.” H: “I know.” Scylla: “You do have a plan, don’t you?” H: “I’ve never even seen this thing. I-- don’t know what I’m gonna do.” Scylla: “It’s just that so many of the villagers have been lost to the Cyclops. And I don’t want you to be the next one.” H: “This isn’t where I intend to die.” Scylla: “Well, none of the others did, either.” H: “You know-- if you’re gonna tell me anything-- I wish it was, ‘Good luck.’” Scylla: “Well, in that case-- good luck.” H: “Thank you.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Slavedriver: “Get a move on, slave, or you’ll feel my lash.” Castor: “Take a good look. This is the wine that Hera’s chosen people will drink-- at the festival of the believers.” Crony: “Do those slaves ever have trouble with their feet? You know-- diseases-- open sores?” Castor: “Ah, shut up!” Crony: “Hey, I was just talking. If they got lousy feet, they might as well be spitting in the stuff.” Castor: “You tell me why you’re here-- or I’ll slap your face-- to the back of your head!” Crony: “Hercules is coming.” Castor: “You expect me to believe that.” Crony: “Hey, it’s true. I saw him with my own eyes-- last night in Trachas.” Castor: “Well-- then he’s dead meat.” [They laugh.] Crony: “Hey-- what’s so funny?” Castor: “Everything’s funny, you idiot! Hercules is here-- just in time for Hera’s festival. And when the Cyclops gets through with him-- his head-- will make an excellent decoration for the main table.” [They laugh.] ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sal: “Whoa-whoa! It’s me! It’s me! Nice reflexes!” H: “Salmoneus, what are you doing here?” Sal: “I wanna see you do cruel and unusual things to that monster.” H: “I thought you had togas to sell.” Sal: “First things first.” H: “You really shouldn’t hold a grudge.” Sal: “Don’t be so preachy! Waaah! You’d feel just like I do, if you were in my sandals.” H: “Maybe so, but I still want you and your sandals to turn around and go back to Trachas.” Sal: “By myself?! Uh-uh! The cyclops could get me-- or a wild beast could turn me into lunch. Or the tax collector might repossess my toga. OK-- so, can I come with ya?” H: “Yes-- but, you’re on your own-- if things get ugly with this creature.” H: “You’re kidding, right? I mean-- uh-huh-- you’re Hercules! It’d be really bad for you image! Wait!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Castor: “Company’s coming.” Cyclops: “Who do you want me to hurt, now?” Castor: “Hercules.” Cyclops: “He’s here?” Castor: “And he’s looking for you.” Cyclops: “They say there’s nobody stronger.” Castor: “Who says that-- huh? Whoever said that’s never gone sideways with you. You’re unbeatable. You’re a force for the good of Hera. You’re-- what’s that?” Cyclops: “I found it.” Castor: “What are you doing with a girl’s scarf? You got a girlfriend-- huh?” Cyclops: “No!” Castor: “Come on-- you can tell me. You’re getting a bit on the sly, aren’t ya? Huh? Well-- who’s the lucky girl, then? A blind concubine?” Cyclops: “Shut up! I don’t have a girlfriend!” Castor: “Now, _that’s_ how I like to see ya! Nice-- and hostile! Yes, you can go back to moonin’ around all your life! After you’ve _chopped_ Hercules into-- _tiny_ little pieces and _scattered_ them to the four corners of the earth!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sal: “What’re you gonna do to him?! Tell me what you’re gonna do to him! You gonna twist his-- see, if I were you-- ” H: “The Cyclops would probably die laughing, and you’d be a hero. Now, pipe down.” Sal: “Oh, I see. You don’t want him to know that we’re coming, huh? The element of surprise.” H: “Sh!” Sal: “Ladies! Come to buy those togas, eh?” A Woman’s Voice: “Oh, no!” Woman: “Swine!” H: “Run.” Woman: “Come on, girls!” Women’s Voices: “He’s ours!” “Be careful!” “Don’t let him get away!” “Get him, girls!” “Help!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sal: “I can’t do it! I can’t go on!” H: “Don’t worry! They won’t hurt you!” Sal: “Ya promise?!” Woman: “Where’s he going?!” Sal: “Beats me.” Woman: “Bad choice of words for a liar.” Sal: “Wh-wh-when did I ever lie to you?!” Woman: “You’ve got a very short memory. OK, girls-- the treatment.” Woman’s Voice: “Come on.” Sal: “Hey, wa-wait; wait, wait, wait. Wait a-- whoa, whoa-whoa. Hey! Hey, be careful! No! Hey! Whoa! No! Hey! Oh! Oh! Ahh! OK! You can look, but don’t touch!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Castor: “Hera, it is I-- Castor-- the faithful. I come before you-- bearing a gift-- in the form of a promise. Hercules-- your treacherous stepson-- is about to die-- just as you have desired for so long. My Cyclops will see to it, personally. He will bring me the head of Hercules-- and I will-- ” Executioner: “You’ll do anything Hera tells you to-- Castor.” Castor: “What are you doing here?” Executioner: “Oh, I’m just making sure this Hercules isn’t too much for you to handle.” Castor: “Did Hera send you?” Executioner: “Stepmother’s intuition.” [Laughs] Castor: “Everything will be all right. Everything will be all right. The Cyclops will-- will rip out one of Hercules’ arms and, and-- beat him to death with it.” Executioner: “Nice thought. But if your walking eyeball doesn’t deliver-- I’ve got another solution.” Castor: “No-- not the executioners.” Executioner: “No-- you don’t get a vote.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “Let me guess-- you’re the Cyclops.” Cyclops: “Take a good look-- because I’m the last thing you’re ever gonna see.” [Laughs] H: “That’s what they all say.” Cyclops: “Stand still!” H: “Why don’t I help you move.” Cyclops: “Hey! Ooh! I knew ya weren’t gonna go easy!” H: “Tired yet?” Cyclops: “Hey, where’d ya go? Just kill me and get it over with.” H: “I think I’d rather find out why you’re always in such a rotten mood.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [ACT III] Cyclops: “Go ahead. Drinks should always be on the loser. [Laughs] It’s from the water I guard.” H: “Now, I understand why the villagers want their river back.” Cyclops: “It’s not their river.” H: “They got there before Hera did. Diverting it was a crime.” Cyclops: “I’d like it better if you’d say I-- stole it from those gutless wonders in Trachas.” H: “Why do hate them so much?” Cyclops: “Because they hated me first! It started when I was a boy: ‘Geek; Freak; Monster.’ I heard it all. Admit it-- you were thinking the same thing when you came after me.” H: “Yeah-- I was.” Cyclops: “You get tired of it after a while.” H: “But-- ‘tired’ isn’t a reason to work for Hera. Loyalty doesn’t mean anything to her. All she cares about is her wine.” Cyclops: “I don’t work for Hera. I work for Castor-- the man in charge of the vineyard. He’s the only one who ever treated me halfway decent.” H: “And that ended when you didn’t kill me-- and you know it.” Cyclops: “If you want me to fight for the villagers, forget it! They don’t care about me-- why should I care about them?” H: “Because, now Hera’s gonna hate you as much as she hates the villagers.” Cyclops: “Well-- then I guess we’re all outta luck.” H: “Not if you give each other a chance.” Cyclops: “Pssh! That’s what you think.” H: “You’re the one who has to do the thinking.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “Salmoneus?” Sal: “‘Don’t worry,’ he says. ‘They won’t hurt you,’ he says.” H: “Well-- well, did they?” Sal: “Look at me! You think I’m dressed like a tree ‘cause I wanna be?! If I’m not careful, I’ll be attracting woodpeckers!” H: “But, you’re not hurt.” Sal: “Noooo.” H: “Good-- because, you [Starts to laugh] look ridiculous.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sal: “Hey! Hey! The next time those crazy women come along-- I’m gonna serve you to them on a silver platter. By the way, how’d you do with the Cyclops?” H: “Not bad.” Sal: “Did you beat him?” H: “That’s one way of putting it.” Sal: “Hah?! Hah?! You’re being modest! You’re being modest, right?! You slammed into him! You went, ‘Bang!’ Whoops! Whoops! Ha-ha. Whoa!” H: “Come on, nature boy. Let’s find you some clothes.” Sal: “I wanna hear all the gory details!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Castor: “I don’t wanna hear any more!” Crony: “There’s no more to tell. Hercules defeated the freak-- end of story.” Castor: “Cyclops quit on me.” Crony: “Huh?” Castor: “He just-- rolled over and played dead-- and after all I’ve done for him. That overgrown eyeball!” Crony: “I don’t know nothin’ about that!” Castor: “You don’t care either, do ya-- rodent? You just want the dinars that I owe ya-- and then the wolves can start eating me alive!” Crony: “Wolves?” Castor: “Well, think about it on your way out, you imbecile! This is gonna be a big enough mess without having you around.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sal’s Voice: “Then Hercules hits him with three lefts in a row-- ” Sal: “Pow, pow, pow! Faster than a chicken pecking at a kernel of corn. And before the Cyclops knows what’s happening to him-- Hercules unleashes his mighty right hand-- kablooey! Hits the Cyclops so far in the air-- that Hercules _goes_ underneath and catches him. And then-- [Continues talking in the background]” Atreus: “Your friend, the toga salesman’s a lucky man-- seeing all that.” H: “Yeah-- he’s talking about things even I don’t remember.” Atreus: “Ha-ha-- whatever. Now we can get our lives back to normal, now the Cyclops is dead.” H: “Ah-- he isn’t dead.” Atreus: “But-- you were supposed to kill him!” H: “No-- I was supposed to stop him from ruining your lives. I never intended to kill him.” Atreus: “Well, you should have.” H: “Look-- there’s no fight left in him. There might not have been any to start with, if people hadn’t always treated him like an outcast.” Atreus: “Is that what that freak told you?” Scylla: “Listen to yourself, Atreus. You’re answering your own question.” Atreus: “You keep out of this.” Scylla: “I will not. I know what you and your friends put the Cyclops through when he was a boy.” Atreus: “We were protecting you and every other female in the village, you ungrateful wench!” H: “Why don’t you worry about your river, instead of calling the lady names?” Atreus: “Ah-- what good would it do? Once you’re gone-- the Cyclops will be back terrorzing us.” Scylla: “If you weren’t such an ass, maybe Hercules would stay and help.” H: “Well, maybe I’ll stay and help, anyway.” Scylla: “You mean it?” H: “Yes. I like the idea of Hera’s grapes dying on the vine.” Atreus: “Everybody! We start puttin’ the river back on course, tomorrow!” [Cheer] ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Woman’s Voice: “I’ll sell you those-- ” Sal: “Woke up alone again, didn’t’cha? I’m surprised the fair Scylla hasn’t taken care of that problem.” H: “That’s not what I’m here for, Salmoneus.” Sal: “All work and no play-- ” H: “-- means I don’t leave with a guilty conscience.” Sal: “Ah, well-- ya probably wouldn’t have had time for her, anyway. Ha-ha-ha.” Woman: “I’ve got a sporting proposition for you, Hercules.” H: “You set this up, didn’t you?” Sal: “They only released me when I promised. Now, just listen, will ya?” H: “No, no-- it’s my turn, all right? Now ladies-- no matter what you think, I’m not opposed-- to pretty women. And-- I’m not opposed to having children, but-- if I’m going to become a father again-- the mother will be someone that I love. And I-- I don’t _love_ any of you. I mean, I like to look at you, and I-I-- I-- might even-- like to talk to you, if I didn’t feel like I was always the fox, and you were the hounds, but-- that’s as far as my interest goes. I hope ya understand. I hope King Thespius understands. Now-- if you’ll excuse me, I’ve-- I’ve got some people to help.” Women’s Voices: “Oh-- that is so beautiful.” “He’s not like other men.” “He’s so sensitive.” Woman: “So, that’s why Dad wanted us to have his children.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Castor: “You’re bigger than Hercules! You’re tougher! You’re meaner! And still you lost! How could you do that to me?!” Cyclops: “To you? I’m the one he beat.” Castor: “Yeah? Well, how come you’re not dead?” Cyclops: “Would that make it better?” Castor: “You’re on his side now, aren’t you?” Cyclops: “I haven’t decided.” Castor: “Ooh-- you think you’re _so_ smart. ‘I haven’t decided.’ Hera has let her executioners loose! They’re going to kill _everybody_ that gets in their path! Why don’t you-- think about that for a minute, you idiot!” Cyclops: “Don’t call me an idiot!” Castor: “Is that all you can say?! Why don’t you just use that big eyeball of yours for a minute and-- and take a look around! You’re doomed!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Executioner: [Laughs] Castor: “I didn’t think you’d be here so soon. You sure you want me to come along?” Executioner [Laughs]: “You make a good point. [Kills Castor] I want Hercules-- and I want him dead! Go!” [All cheer.] ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Atreus: “Come on, everybody. Let’s get this cleared!” H: “You just gonna stand there?” Sal: “I refuse to compromise my integrity with physical toil.” Scylla: “Well, then I’m not interested in buying any of your togas.” Sal: “You want-- ? All right.” Scylla: “You need some help?” H: “Yeah. Thanks. Embarrassed?” Men’s Voices: “Let’s give Hercules a hand!” “Come on, if we all do this, it’ll work!” “Right!” “Get your hands down!” H: “OK.” Man’s Voice: “And get your backs into it!” Sal: “All right.” Men’s Voices: “Push! Almost got it?!” “Just a little more.” “Come on, all together!” H: “Oh, look who’s here. Better late than never.” Sal: [Laughs sarcastically] Men’s Voices: “Heave!” “Hey!” “Hey! We did it!” We helped!” “We’ve done it!” Sal’s Voice: “I helped! The first labor I’ve ever done!” Cyclops: “Hmmmm.” Atreus: “Well, you’ve set a good example. But there’s months of work here. I hope these people realize that.” Scylla: “If they were afraid of challenges, they would’ve run off by now.” Atreus: “How about you, Hercules? You going back on the road?” H: “Sooner or later-- I always do.” Atreus: “Oh, that’s a shame. We could use someone like you-- ” Woman’s Voice: [Screams] Challenger: “Go back where ya came from!” Cyclops: “I’m not here to hurt you!” Challenger: “Freak!” Scylla: “Don’t!” H: “Give him a chance!” Man’s Voice: “He never gave us one!” Scylla: “Well, stop it! Stop and listen to Hercules!” Atreus: “Hercules is not one of us!” H: “No! Come back!” Man’s Voice: “And don’t come back!” Scylla: “You fools. Wait!” Atreus: “Don’t! You’re crazy!” Man’s Voice: “Don’t go! Don’t go, Scylla!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [ACT IV] H: “She’ll be fine. Don’t worry. The Cyclops won’t hurt her.” Atreus: “If that monster kills Scylla, her blood’ll be on your hands!” Challenger: “Yeah, you’re the one who let the Cyclops live.” H: “He wasn’t here to hurt anybody.” Atreus: “How can you say that?! You fought him, for cryin’ out loud!” H: “Because I know who put the evil in him. You. And you. All of you.” Men’s Voices: “Wait a second.” “How can he accuse us?” H: “All of you put the evil in him.” Challenger: “You’ve got your nerve-- standing there judging us, while the Cyclops is-- probably off, having his way with Scylla.” H: “She’s better off with him than she would be with you.” Challenger: “Oh, my hand!” Men’s Voices: “Don’t hurt him, Hercules.” “No, no, don’t hurt him.” H: “Why don’t you sell them some togas, Salmoneus. I’m going after our friends.” Man’s Voice: “Your fault!” Atreus: “She better be alive!” Man’s Voice: “This is yours!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Crony: “Hey-- you’re the executioners, right? Yeah. Yeah. Castor said you were coming. Let me show you where Hercules is.” Executioner: “We don’t need you!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Scylla: “Are you all right?” Cyclops: “I’m tired.” Scylla: “I don’t doubt it-- after always being called names by people-- always having people afraid of you. I’m sorry.” Cyclops: “I know you are. I-I could tell you were different the day I-I saw you gathering flowers. But you were still scared, weren’t you?” Scylla: “Yes.” Cyclops: “Well, let me tell you something. It’s not me you have to be afraid of, anymore. It’s Hera’s executioners. They’re out to destroy Hercules-- and the village.” Scylla: “You have to tell Hercules.” H: “Tell me what?” Scylla’s: “Hera’s executioners are coming.” H: “Well, then I better go say, ‘Hello.’” Scylla: “You can’t fight them by yourself. I don’t care what the myths say about you.” H: “You may find this hard to believe-- but-- some of those myths are true.” Cyclops: “Does that mean you wouldn’t want my help?” H: “No. It means I don’t ask for help. But, I’m not an unreasonable man.” Cyclops: “Good! Because I’d like to pay Hera back for the way she used me. And-- I’d also like to show you both I-I appreciate your treating me like something-- besides a monster.” H: “Then it sounds like we’re in this together.” Scylla: “Don’t forget about me. I’m coming with ya.” Cyclops: “But you might get hurt.” Scylla: “I know. But I could get hurt staying here, too.” H: “The lady’s right.” Cyclops: “Very well. But promise you’ll be careful.” Scylla: “I promise.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “The executioners must’ve taken the long way here.” Cyclops: “It could’ve been a lie, too. Castor was good at lying.” H: “Let’s warn the villagers, anyway-- whether they deserve it or not.” Scylla: “Are you sure they won’t just throw more rocks?” H: “I’m sure. They don’t wanna hurt you.” Scylla: “I never thought you two would need my protection. But if that’s the way it is-- ” [Executioners charge, and fight ensues.] H: “Very impressive.” Volus: “We should help them.” Atreus: “No, I won’t die helpin’ a freak-- or anyone who sides with one-- even if it is Hercules.” Challenger: “Damn right.” Sal: “It would be better to die with him-- than to stay here with eunuchs like you.” Scylla: “Behind you, Hercules!” H: “Thanks!” Executioner: “You come with me.” Scylla: “No! Hercules! Help! Help! Hercules! Hercules!” Atreus: “To the village!” Man’s Voice: “He’s gonna try to hurt us.” Volus: “Hey, look!” Cyclops: “Oh, yeah!” H: “Ooh-- what a way to go.” Man’s Voice: “Hercules is beating them all.” Cyclops: “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!” Sal: “Hercules! I’m ready to fight! He’s getting away!” Cyclops: “How can I help?!” H: “I’ll give you a boost.” Sal: “I’ll go to Scylla!” Cyclops: “Right! Ow.” [Villagers cheer.] Atreus: “Hercules-- Hercules, we owe you a debt of gratitude, that can never be repaid.” H: “Yes, it can. If you really want to repay me-- just be nice to him.” Atreus: “Oh, but we’ve tried. We’ve tried.” Sal: “Yes-- calling someone a monster always proves you’re his friend.” [Laughs] Atreus: “Why are we arguin’ about this, now? This should be a day of celebration.” Scylla: “You know? This man helped Hercules do something for you and me, today-- that you would never have done for him.” Atreus: “But how can we be sure he won’t cause more trouble after Hercules leaves.” Cyclops: “If you let me live in peace I promise-- I’ll help you do the same-- as long as you treat me-- with respect.” H: “You’re not going to get a better offer than that, Atreus. I’d take him up on it if I was you.” Atreus: “All right. We’ll give it a try-- huh?” [Cheers] A Woman’s Voice: “Hurray! Hercules!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sal: “I can’t believe I didn’t make a single dinar on this entire trip! I mean, I thought somebody back there would buy a toga! Oh, well, I’m sure we’ll do better the next place we stop.” H: “We?” Sal: “Can’t break up the team, now. I’m naming a toga after you, remember?” H: “But I told you, I don’t wear togas.” Sal: “Aah-- picky, picky.” Woman’s Voice: “There he is!” H: “I thought we settled this.” Woman: “No, not you, Hercules-- your little friend.” H and Sal: “You’re kidding!” Woman: “We have decided, he will do _just_ fine.” Sal: “Me?! Yesss!” A Woman’s Voice: “Come on!” H: “What about that team we had?” Sal: “A man’s gotta do-- what a man’s gotta do!” A Woman’s Voice: “Right this way.” Sal: “Hello! Hello! [Laughs] Let me take five at a time-- ” H: “Yeah-- right.” Sal: “-- out mathematically-- very nice-- thank you.” H: “Good luck.” Sal: “OK, can I look and touch? [Laughs] Oh, very nice-- OK.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------Click here to return to the HTLJ EYE OF THE BEHOLDER page.
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