"Warrior Princess" video release. extra dialogued notate with "+++" TEASER, SCENE 1: IOLAUS: It sure is a beauty. HERCULES: It's all yours, Iolaus. IOLAUS: What are you talking about? We both worked on it. HERCULES: No, I'll get the next one we make. How's that sound? IOLAUS: Well, to tell you the truth-- it's the best idea you ever had. TEASER, SCENE 2:  (Outside.) HERCULES: That was-- pretty good. IOLAUS: Thanks. You know-- all it takes is a little practice, nerves of steel, and a knife so perfectly forged--. (Iolaus tosses knife and it sticks in a house) SERENA: What in the name of Hades do you think you're doing? IOLAUS: Serena? SERENA: Iolaus? Did you do that? IOLAUS: Yeah, I was, uh, practicing with my new knife. Hercules and I-- SERENA: This is my house. IOLAUS: Your house? I thought it was abandoned. SERENA: We moved in yesterday. IOLAUS: We? SERENA: You haven't heard? I'm married now. IOLAUS: Oh-- great. Who's the lucky guy? SERENA: Tremulous. TREMULOUS: Serena, are you gonna help me or not? SERENA: I gotta go. He's so cute when he needs me. Bye, Iolaus. Just--take it easy on my house, okay? IOLAUS: Maybe I should use this knife to slit my wrists. HERCULES: Come on. Haven't you heard the old saying? There's plenty of fish in the sea. IOLAUS: Yeah. HERCULES: Somewhere, the perfect woman is waiting for you. TEASER, SCENE 3:  (Cut to village scene. Woman carrying water bucket goes towards a well) XENA: [Humming] SOLDIER: There she is. That's her. Let's go. Let's do it. (They attack her and a fight ensues. It ends when she has successfully beaten up everyone in the camp). XENA: Pathetic! If you can't learn to fight better than that, then you're never gonna defeat Hercules. And I want him dead. ACT 1, SCENE 1:  (Hercules is building a wall at his mother's house.) ALCMENE: Hercules. Hercules, you're working too hard. HERCULES: Mother, I've got to do something to make up for never being around here. ALCMENE: Well, how about stopping long enough for a picnic? I'd rather have your company than this wall you want to build. HERCULES: Well, what if I-- give you both? ALCMENE: Oh, you certainly know how to make your mother happy. [Laughs] I really do think you spend too much time worrying about me. I mean the wall -- HERCULES: If it keeps you from being hurt or robbed just once, it's worth every drop of sweat I put into it. ALCMENE: I still don't think the world is that bad a place, Hercules. Besides, Iolaus looks in on me whenever he can. HERCULES: Well, he is a good man. ALCMENE: But a lonely one, I'm afraid. HERCULES: Hmm, you see it too? ALCMENE: It's his eyes that touch my heart. There's-- no joy in them. HERCULES: So you think he needs a woman in his life? ALCMENE: Do you disagree? HERCULES: With you? No, I'm too smart for that. +++ So what did you bring me? ACT 1, SCENE 2:  (Cut to Xena and Theodorus.) THEODORUS: I won't be far away, Xena. XENA: Do you doubt that I can take care of myself? THEODORUS: No, of course not. But what if -- XENA: You'll know when I need you Theodorus. I don't want to see you before then. THEODORUS: Very well. (Xena hits her horse's leg with a club.) XENA: (to the horse) There, there, it's not so bad. You'll be okay. IOLAUS: Need any help? XENA: Stay away. IOLAUS: Hey, take it easy. XENA: Give me a reason to. IOLAUS: Come on. Do I look dangerous? XENA: Looks can be very deceiving. IOLAUS: If you want to stay here and threaten every good Samaritan who comes along, be my guest. But I'll be glad to help you get to the village. XENA: Are you sure that's what you really want to do? IOLAUS: Put down the knife, and I'll be glad to. XENA: Oh-- sorry. ACT 1, SCENE 3:  (Cut to tavern.) VILLAGER: What's the matter Hercules? Running out of monsters to slay? HERCULES: Not if my mother's wall counts. VILLAGER: Is it tougher than the Nemean Lion? HERCULES: Well, the blisters on my hands say it is. (Hercules sees Iolaus at the bar. He's getting some drinks.) IOLAUS: (to bartender) Yeah, thanks a lot. (Goes to table where Xena is sitting) All right. Here you go. Say, how about a toast to fate for bringing us together, huh? HERCULES: (Interrupting) Excuse me. IOLAUS: Uh-huh, look what the cat dragged in. HERCULES: I thought you were gonna help me with my mother's wall today? IOLAUS: Oh, yeah. HERCULES: Uh-huh? IOLAUS: I'm sorry. I forgot. Something came up. HERCULES: I'm sure it did. XENA: I'm Xena. HERCULES: Hello, Xena. I'm -- IOLAUS: This is my best friend in all the world, that's who he is. XENA: But does he have a name? IOLAUS: What? Oh, yeah, yeah. This is Hercules. XENA: Is everyone you know so famous? IOLAUS: Famous? Him? What are you talking about? XENA: Iolaus, you're such a comedian. HERCULES: He certainly is. Until it's time to get down to business, and then I wouldn't want anyone else on my side. XENA: I had a feeling he was like that. My horse had gone lame out in the countryside when Iolaus found me, and he made sure I got here without anyone else bothering me. HERCULES: Uh-huh. He never lets you down. XENA: I'll have to remember that. HERCULES: Don't worry, he won't let you forget. IOLAUS: Hey. HERCULES: So, uh-- if he is gonna talk about himself all night, should we do it over a nice dinner? Are you interested? IOLAUS: Yeah. XENA: Oh, I think I'd be better off trying to look for a soft, warm bed. Think you could help me one last time? IOLAUS: Well, yeah, uh-- I think that can be arranged. See ya. HERCULES: Uh-huh. ACT 1, SCENE 4:  (Next scene, Hercules is working on ALCMENE's wall.) HERCULES: The last time I saw him, he was walking out of the inn with a big dumb smile on his face. That was a week ago. What's he doing anyway? ALCMENE: Hercules, you fathered three children. You shouldn't have to ask. HERCULES: Mother, that's not what I'm talking about. It's just that I don't get to see much of Iolaus except-- when we're in life-and-death situations. I was hoping we could do something more normal this time. You know, like -- I don't know, hunt, fish, whatever, talk. ALCMENE: I know how much you enjoy spending time with Iolaus, but where love and humans are involved, you never know what to expect. HERCULES: But, Iolaus doesn't know anything about this Xena. I mean, what if she's got a jealous husband? ALCMENE: What if she's the best possible cure for his loneliness? I think, until you find out otherwise, you should just be happy for him. HERCULES: Okay, okay. You're right-- again. I'll just be here filling the wall-- by myself. ACT 1, SCENE 5:  (Cut to Xena's camp. Xena and Iolaus are kissing in her room.) IOLAUS: What's wrong? XENA: I don't want you to fall in love with me. IOLAUS: It may be too late. Have you thought about that? XENA: I was hoping I'd be the only one to go away from this with a broken heart. IOLAUS: You don't have to go away. I want you here. XENA: I know you do-- and I'd stay-- if it didn't mean I was letting somebody else down. IOLAUS: You never spoke about another man. XENA: Not one man, many of them. And women and children, too. They're under siege by a warlord named Petracus. He's trying to drive them out of the Arcadian Highlands. I'm building an army to defend them. IOLAUS: That's why you were traveling with so many weapons; you're a warrior. XENA: I used to think I was, but now I know that no matter how hard I fight, I can't beat Petracus by myself. I need help. IOLAUS: You came to get Hercules, didn't you? XENA: Yes-- but I found you. IOLAUS: Then I should be the one you ask for help. XENA: I can't do that. IOLAUS: Why? 'Cause Hercules is better than me, is that it? He's the warrior and I'm some meaningless jester? XENA: No, it's because it wouldn't turn my life upside down if he got hurt-- or even killed. But if something happened to you -- IOLAUS: Nothing is gonna happen to me. XENA: You're not gonna take 'No' for an answer, are you? IOLAUS: No. I'm afraid you're stuck with me. XENA: I like it like that. (Xena and Iolaus kiss then-- ACT 1, SCENE 6:  --cut to THEODORUS and Xena kissing.) XENA: Enough. THEODORUS: But it's been so long. XENA: Better to go without than to have to share a bed with Hercules' best friend. THEODORUS: I'll kill any man who touches you. XENA: No THEODORUS. Kill Hercules. THEODORUS: You'd let me have that honor? XENA: If you think you're worthy. THEODORUS: You know I am. XENA: Then take this. It'll make you strong in battle and return you safely back to me. THEODORUS: Xena -- XENA: Go. Make me proud. THEODORUS: I will. I swear it. ACT 1, SCENE 7:  (Cut to Xena and Iolaus coming upon Hercules building the wall.) IOLAUS: Hey, looking good. HERCULES: I wish it was looking finished. Where are you going? XENA: We're going to rid my people of the warlord Petracus. HERCULES: I've never heard of him. IOLAUS: Well, from what Xena says, you and the whole world will if he isn't stopped in Arcadia. HERCULES: Is there anything I can do? XENA: No. HERCULES: I'm just offering my help. XENA: Iolaus is all the help I need. HERCULES: Well, you know how I feel about him; he's the best. XENA: That's why he's with me. Yah! HERCULES: If it turns out that you do need me, I'll be there for you. IOLAUS: Yeah, I know you will. But uh-- listen, I don't want you to get the wrong idea about Xena. She's worth whatever risk it takes. HERCULES: Then you're lucky she's in your life. XENA: Come on, Iolaus! IOLAUAS: Come on. Come on. Yah! HERCULES: Good luck my friend. ACT 1, SCENE 8:  (Cut to the barn where THEODORUS throws a knife at Hercules.) HERCULES: You know, a true warrior attacks from the front. THEODORUS: My commander says you attack from whatever side suits your purpose. HERCULES: So, he's a coward too. (Fight.) HERCULES: Uh-- you better try something else. THEODORUS: With pleasure. HERCULES: Me and my big mouth. (Fight continues.) HERCULES: Enjoy this while you can. THEODORUS: I'm still enjoying it, Hercules. Disappointed? HERCULES: As a matter of fact, yes. (THEODORUS falls on the rake and is dying.) HERCULES: Why did you attack me? THEODORUS: Love. HERCULES: Whose love? THEODORUS: Xena, I'm sorry I failed you. (He dies and Hercules removes Xena's medallion from his neck.) HERCULES: Xena? ACT 2, SCENE 1:  (Cut to ALCMENE's kitchen.) ALCMENE: I don't understand why you think it's her. There must be lots of other Xenas in the world. HERCULES: I'd agree with you if the warrior who attacked me hadn't been wearing Xena's medallion. ALCMENE: That still doesn't explain him trying to kill you, Hercules. HERCULES: He loved her-- and he wanted to prove it. ALCMENE: Are you sure that's why he died? HERCULES: He didn't just die, Mother. Xena sent him on a suicide mission. ALCMENE: But there's no reason for that. HERCULES: Yes, there is. He was the bait. Now Xena expects me to go after Iolaus and walk right into whatever trap she's laying. ALCMENE: And that's what you're going to do, isn't it? HERCULES: I have to. ALCMENE: Iolaus will think you're coming to steal his glory. This woman will make sure of that. You'll destroy your friendship with Iolaus. HERCULES: Saving his life is more important. ALCMENE: Promise me you'll come back in one piece? HERCULES: In one piece. And with Iolaus. ACT 2, SCENE 2:  (Cut to Xena and Iolaus walking through the woods.) XENA: In case you're still wondering, I really would rather go into battle with you. IOLAUS: You don't have to make me feel good. XENA: You don't have to treat me like I'm a hypocrite. Believe it or not, I don't give a fig for Hercules or his reputation. IOLAUS: Then you're the only one, Xena. XENA: Maybe you and the rest of his adoring legions should take a closer look at him. What's Hercules really fighting for? Go ahead, Iolaus, tell me. IOLAUS: He fights to help people. I thought everybody knew that. He wants to stop slavery and injustice. XENA: No, stop. You're a grown man. You're an honored warrior, and yet you're still taken in by the same lies that school children cling to. IOLAUS: They're not lies. I've seen the good that Hercules can do. I've been there with him. XENA: Then you should know better than anybody that all Hercules is fighting for is to prove that he can succeed without Zeus-- and to get revenge on Hera for killing his family. He's selfish, Iolaus. He's selfish right to the bone. IOLAUS: I don't need to hear this. XENA: And I don't need to hear that Hercules should be here instead of you. Fact is-- I think you're a better man that he will ever be-- or-- (kisses Iolaus) IOLAUS: Come on. ACT 2, SCENE 3:  (Cut to Iolaus and Xena riding over a hill.) IOLAUS: This is beautiful country. I can see why you're fighting to keep it. XENA: You're gonna do more than see. There. They're part of Petracus' legion. IOLAUS: What do you want to do? XENA: I want to wipe them off the face of the earth. Ya!! Ya!! IOLAUS: I can't sit this one out. SOLDIER 1: It's that murdering warrior, Xena. SOLDIER 2: Watch out! (Fight.) SOLDIERS: Xena. Let's go. Quickly! XENA: Is this the best you've got? Ha! Bring it on! IOLAUS: Boy, you know how to show a guy a good time. XENA: Don't talk. Fight. IOLAUS: Okay. XENA: Don't let him get away! IOLAUS: Ah, it's over, Xena. Let him go. XENA: What do you think you're doing? IOLAUS: No, we won. He's not coming back. XENA: Yeah, I guess not. IOLAUS: You were great. No, better than that, you were amazing. XENA: You don't have to say that. IOLAUS: But it's true. The only warrior I've seen who is as magnificent as you are, is Hercules. XENA: I'm honored. IOLAUS: You deserve to be. XENA: Well if you mean that, you won't try to stop me burning the wagon. ACT 2, SCENE 4:  (Cut to Xena's camp where soldiers are practicing and conversing among themselves: That's it, swing harder. No, no, drive forward when you strike. Watch this, come in low.) WATCH GUARD: It's Xena! SOLDIER 1: We were worried. XENA: Give us some room. SOLDIER 2: We thought something had happened. XENA: Act like warriors. ESTROGON: Who's this? XENA: This is the man who gives us the power to defeat Petracus. IOLAUS: I'm Iolaus. XENA: He's Hercules' best friend, Estrogon. I've never seen a man better with a sword. I want you to show me that move you used when you knocked the sword out of that soldier's hand. IOLAUS: Even though I didn't kill him with it? XENA: I can fix that. So can you. You've all got things to do. We'll never defeat Petracus if you just stand around. SOLDIER: All right, back to work. XENA: As for you, come with me. ACT 2, SCENE 5:  (Cut to Hercules coming upon the burning wagon and finding Iolaus' sword.) ACT 2, SCENE 6:  (Cut to Xena and Iolaus in the tub together.) IOLAUS: I wasn't expecting this from somebody whose warriors treat her like a hero. XENA: You deserve what you get. I deserve what I get. IOLAUS: I'm not gonna argue with you. I saw the way you handled yourself in that fight. XENA: Did I impress you? IOLAUS: Well, when a woman asks me for help, I don't expect her to be so -- XENA: Independent? Violent? IOLAUS: Yeah. And fearless, too. XENA: Hard times breed hard people, Iolaus. There's no avoiding that. My father was killed in battle-- and so were all three of my brothers. I won't be. IOLAUS: I admire your goal. But somewhere out there, there's a warlord who waits for an ocean of blood to keep you from achieving it-- if not Petracus, then the next one who comes along. XENA: You sound like you're worried about me. IOLAUS: Well, I am. It's not every day I meet a beautiful woman that wants to wash my back. XENA: Oh, I will do more for you than that, Iolaus-- much more. IOLAUS: You do this for all your warriors? XENA: Only special ones. IOLAUS: Oh. I hope there aren't too many of those. XENA: Right now, there's just you. (Knock at the door.) XENA: Come back later! SOLDIER: But Hercules is here. IOLAUS: Hercules? XENA: He must have followed us. IOLAUS: Why would he do that? XENA: Perhaps he doesn't trust me with you. IOLAUS: He shouldn't. XENA: Or maybe he doesn't think you're man enough to help me. IOLAUS: I better go see what he wants. ACT 2, SCENE 7:  (Cut to outside where Hercules is waiting for Iolaus.) SOLDIER: You're a long way from home, Hercules. HERCULES: Hello, Iolaus. IOLAUS: I didn't expect to see you here, Hercules. HERCULES: I didn't expect to come. IOLAUS: Well, you didn't have to. I thought we agreed on that. HERCULES: Well, that was before your warrior princess sent someone to kill me. IOLAUS: I don't like the way you're talking about a brave woman. HERCULES: Since when is there anything brave about sneak attacks or the people behind them? IOLAUS: I think you better turn around and go home now, Hercules. HERCULES: I was hoping you'd go with me. IOLAUS: No. HERCULES: Even though she wants me dead? IOLAUS: Where's your proof? HERCULES: My words should be enough for you. IOLAUS: It isn't. HERCULES: I guess that means friendship doesn't count? IOLAUS: Not when you poison it by coming here. HERCULES: Iolaus, what are you talking about? You've got it all wrong. IOLAUS: Just get out of here, Hercules. We're through talking. HERCULES: Why? Are you afraid of what you'll hear? IOLAUS: Get out of here! HERCULES: You haven't answered my question. (Iolaus punches Hercules.) HERCULES: I think you lost this. (Hercules throws Iolaus's knife to the ground.) HERCULES: Goodbye, Iolaus. ACT 3, SCENE 1:  (Cut to Tavern. Hercules sits at a table.) VILLAGER 1: It's him, I tell you. I can tell from behind. Why don't you go ask him. Go on, what are you afraid of? Ask him. VILLAGER 2: Have you-- taken care of her yet? HERCULES: I don't know who you're talking about. VILLAGER 2: Xena: The Warrior Princess, who else? VILLAGER 1: She just wants to write her name across history in big bloody letters. She won't rest until she's wiped out everybody and everything that's stopping her from conquering Arcadia. VILLAGER 2: If we don't give her all our crops and our wares, she kills every man in sight. VILLAGER 1: We're ordinary people, farmers and millhands, not warriors. You have to help us, Hercules. VILLAGER 2: Come on, what do you say? VILLAGERS: Please, Hercules. Help us, Hercules. Don't go. We need your help. HERCULES: I'm sorry. VILLAGER: Stay, Hercules. HERCULES: I just don't have the strength right now. Excuse me. VILLAGER: Don't desert us, Hercules. PETRACUS: Hercules, wait! HERCULES: Look, there's nothing more to talk about. PETRACUS: Oh, yes there is. Why don't we start with whatever it is you lost? You want to tell me what it was? HERCULES: It wasn't a 'what'; it was a 'who'. Best friend I ever had. Xena got him to fall in love with her and now she's turned him against me. PETRACUS: If your friend took the trouble to look into her past, he'd know that she was using him to get you here. Once she has your head hanging on her wall, she doesn't expect anybody to stand in her way. HERCULES: Well, somebody else will have to be her trophy. I'm going home. PETRACUS: I see. A night's rest would do you good. I-- I could put you up at my place, if you like. HERCULES: You sure it's no trouble? PETRACUS: If it was, I wouldn't have invited you. The name's Petracus. HERCULES: The warlord? PETRACUS: [Laughs] Take a closer look at me, son. Do I look like a warlord to you? HERCULES: No, you don't. PETRACUS: No, of course not. I'm a farmer-- and an old one at that. Xena doesn't care anything for the truth when she's trying to get someone into her clutches. She takes my name and-- applies it to some imaginary madman who rose from Hades robbing shrines and-- murdering innocent people. HERCULES: It sounds like she'll do anything to get what she wants. PETRACUS: And she wants everything. And if she kills you, there'll be nothing to stop her. ACT 3, SCENE 2:  (Cut to Iolaus sharpening his blade.) XENA: If he was really your friend, he wouldn't have come here and tried to interfere. IOLAUS: Well I guess you're right, Xena. It's just -- I've never been on a different side to Hercules before. XENA: You didn't let that stop you from standing up to him. You were a true warrior. IOLAUS: If I was anything less, you wouldn't want me here. XENA: You've turned out to be everything I thought Hercules would be. But Hercules -- I can be fierce and violent, Iolaus, you've seen that for yourself. But to hear Hercules say what he said -- it was like having a dagger plunged through my heart. IOLAUS: I've ended my friendship with him. XENA: Then you must be in pain, too. IOLAUS: Not as long as I'm with you. XENA: Come to bed when you're finished with your sword. I'll be waiting. ACT 3, SCENE 3:  (Cut to Xena and Estrogon.) XENA: He turns into a whimpering dog every time I mention Hercules. ESTROGON: Then he must die. XENA: Not by your hand, Estrogon. And not by mine. It's Hercules who must kill him. ESTROGON: But Hercules is gone. XENA: Then it's our job to bring him back. That is, if you think you're brave enough to ride with me? ESTROGON: You know I am. But, your strategy, I -- XENA: A true warrior would understand that you demoralize and weaken before you destroy. When Hercules realizes that he's killed his best friend, he'll be ripe for slaughter. ESTROGON: When do we go after him? XENA: At dawn. ESTROGON: And until then? XENA: Save your strength. ACT 3, SCENE 4:  (Cut to Petracus and Hercules at a grave site.) PETRACUS: The most painful thing a parent can do is bury a child. My only son lies in that grave. He was barely 20 when he died at the hands of a Spartan. But it was really Xena who killed him. HERCULES: You mean he fell into the same trap my friend is in? PETRACUS: I warned him. Begged, pleaded, argued. I even ran down the road after him the day he road off, begging him -- the one thing I didn't do was give up. HERCULES: Is that what you think I'm doing, Petracus-- giving up? PETRACUS: You tell me. HERCULES: Your son was a very young man. Iolaus is an adult, capable of living his own life, making his own decisions. PETRACUS: And it's all right if those decisions kill him? HERCULES: You know it's not. PETRACUS: Then why are you letting him stay with that murdering harlot? She's a monster, just like the Hydra and the Nemean Lion and the Stymphalian Bird. You didn't walk away from fighting them, Hercules, and you can't walk away from fighting her. HERCULES: You're right; I can't. Thank you. ACT 3, SCENE 5:  (Cut to Iolaus waking up in bed and looking out window to see Xena and Estrogon ride off.) IOLAUS: Xena? XENA: All right, Estrogon. Let's mount up. Open the gates! ESTROGON: Yah! XENA: Yah! Yah! ACT 3, SCENE 6:  (Cut to the woods where Xena and Estrogon are waiting to ambush Hercules.) ESTROGON: There he is. XENA: Shh, get back. (Estrogon makes a noise.) HERCULES: Who's there? If you don't show your face, I'm coming in there after you. ESTROGON: That won't be necessary. HERCULES: Did your warrior princess have a previous engagement? ESTROGON: Even the mighty Hercules should show more respect than that. HERCULES: For what? A murderer? A crazy woman whose only purpose in life is to kill and conquer? ESTROGON: You're dead. HERCULES: Not yet. (Estrogon and Hercules fight and Estrogon cuts Hercules' arm. Hercules finally defeats Estrogon.) ESTROGON: No more. HERCULES: What did you say? ESTROGON: I said I surrender. Please don't kill me. +++I'm begging you, Hercules. HERCULES: I'm not going to kill you. Stand up. ESTROGON: What are you gonna do to me? XENA: Estrogon! (Xena flings her chakram and kills Estrogon, slitting his throat.) HERCULES: Is this what you do to all your warriors, Xena?! XENA: Only those who don't follow _my_ code. ACT 3, SCENE 7:  (Xena rides off. Xena stops to put dirt on herself and tear her clothing and mess up her hair.) ACT 3, SCENE 8:  (Cut to Xena's camp where Iolaus is practicing with his knife.) SOLDIER 1: It's Xena! What's happened to her? SOLDIER 2: Are you all right? IOLAUS: Xena, what happened? XENA: He killed Estrogon, and he tried to kill me. IOLAUS: Who did? XENA: Hercules. ACT 4, SCENE 1:  (Cut to inside, where Iolaus is cleaning Xena up.) XENA: He caught us by surprise, Iolaus. I thought I was going to die. IOLAUS: Ambushing people, attacking women. That's not the Hercules I know. He must have gone crazy or something. XENA: You'd know that he had if you saw what he did to Estrogon. IOLAUS: Estrogon shouldn't have been there with you; I should have. XENA: But then, Hercules would have killed you. IOLAUS: You expect me to run away? XENA: Other men would. IOLAUS: Other men couldn't love you the way I do. XENA: Do you mean that? Can you really put me in your life before Hercules? IOLAUS: I did once. I'm not gonna back down, Xena. XENA: But this time is different. You've got to know that. IOLAUS: Yeah, I know. If Hercules comes for you, I may have to -- kill him. XENA: Can you do that? IOLAUS: Only for you. XENA: Iolaus, I know you can defeat Hercules. I know it in my soul. You know the way Hercules fights; you know all his moves; you know all of his tricks; you know all of his weaknesses. ACT 4, SCENE 2:  (Here comes Hercules.) ACT 4, SCENE 3:  (Cut to outside where Xena is speaking to her army.) XENA: The only one to do battle with Hercules when he arrives is Iolaus, do you understand? I don't care how quickly my little man dies, and I don't care how painfully he does it, no one is to be out there until Iolaus is dead-- and Hercules is standing, staggered by the weight of what he's done to his best friend. Then, and only then, do we move in to rid the world of the Son of Zeus. Do I make myself clear? Good. And not a word about this to Iolaus. If he knew what a sacrifice he was going to make, he might have second thoughts. ACT 4, SCENE 4:  (Cut to inside where Iolaus is pacing. Xena comes in the door to Iolaus.) XENA: He's here. ACT 4, SCENE 5:  (Iolaus goes outside.) IOLAUS: I can't believe you'd show your face here. HERCULES: Stay out of this, Iolaus. My fight's with Xena, not you. IOLAUS: Don't push me aside! You're the one that attacked Xena and killed the warrior with her. HERCULES: Is that what she told you? IOLAUS: Get a weapon, Hercules. HERCULES: She's using you to get to me. IOLAUS: Quit talking and get a weapon! I'm giving you the chance you never gave Xena. HERCULES: And what if I don't want it? IOLAUS: You don't get off that easy. (Iolaus throws a sword at Hercules.) XENA: What are you doing?! IOLAUS: Come on! (Hercules and Iolaus fight.) IOLAUS: Fight, damn it! Quit acting like you're too good for me! HERCULES: I have never been too good for you! I'm just trying to stay alive long enough for you to come to your senses! (Fight continues.) XENA: Yes. Kill him, Iolaus. HERCULES: Xena, keep your goons out of this! (Hercules defeats Iolaus who holds up his knife.) HERCULES: Are you going to use it? IOLAUS: No. This knife wasn't meant to draw your blood. Come on, let's get it over with. HERCULES: I'm not going to kill you. IOLAUS: I was gonna kill you. HERCULES: Were you? XENA: Get them. HERCULES: We'll talk about this later. IOLAUS: Sure. XENA: I want them both dead. (Xena's army attacks Hercules and Iolaus.) IOLAUS: Hercules, behind you! XENA: Let's get out of here! +++Come on, move! IOLAUS: Hercules! Hercules! SOLDIER: Let's go! Let's get out of here! HERCULES: Aren't you even gonna say goodbye?!? XENA: Ha! You haven't heard the last of me, Hercules! Yah! (Xena and her army ride off.) IOLAUS: You know-- you could have caught her-- if you hadn't saved me. HERCULES: You're a little more important than she is. IOLAUS: I don't know which hurts worse-- my head or-- knowing how stupid I was. HERCULES: It always helps to know what you're fighting for before you start fighting. IOLAUS: Is this where the lecture starts? HERCULES: It could be-- but it won't. ACT 4, SCENE 6:  IOLAUS: You know, if you really want to lecture me, it should be about the kind of woman I'm attracted to. HERCULES: After Xena, you'd be better off falling in love with a black widow. IOLAUS: Maybe I'll just give up women altogether. What do you think? HERCULES: I think it would be a good idea. IOLAUS: Yeah -- wait a minute. HERCULES: Iolaus, it seems like an awful lot like for a red-blooded man like you to be walking away from. IOLAUS: Yeah, you're right. Only next time, give me a woman who wants to kill me with kisses. THE END
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