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“When A Man Loves A Woman”  HTLJ Episode 51/314


Man:  “Thanks, Iolaus.  Be sure and get some for yourself.”

Soldier 1:  “There must be a way for us to take the Golden Hind.”

I:  “There you go.”

Soldier 1:  “For the gold in those horns and hooves-- it’s worth
a little risk.”

Bearded Soldier:  “If you think going against the Hind _and_ Ares
is a little risk, go ahead.  I want no part of it.”

Soldier 1:  “Move over, Shorty!”

I:  “Ooh!  ‘Shorty?’”

Bearded Soldier:  “You’re the one the Hind shot.”

Soldiers:  “He looks familiar, doesn’t he?”  “Yeah.”

Soldier 1:  “Yeah.”

Soldier:  “He’s the one.”

Soldier 1:  “Then he and Hercules whaled on us!”

Soldier’s Voice:  “That’s right.”

Soldier1:  “I _think_-- an apology’s in order!”

Soldier’s Voices:  “Let’s hear it.”  “Make it quick.”

I:  “It’s OK.  I forgive you.  No-- guys, really-- no hard
feelings, huh?”


Soldier:  “Ahhhhh!”

H:  “He said he forgives you.”

I:  “I’m a forgiving kinda guy.”

H:  “You see, I’ve, uh-- known Iolaus a long, long time.”

I:  “He _has_.”

H:  “And if he says he forgives you, well-- he forgives you.”

I:  “See?”

Soldier:  “Ahhhhhhhhhhh!”

I:  “Oh, no!  Take it easy!  Herc!  Is this really necessary?!”

H:  “In a roundabout sort of way.  Sorry, Iolaus.”

Soldier:  “Ahhhhhhhhhh!”

Soldier:  “Ahhhhhhhhh!”

H:  “That’s gotta hurt.”

I:  “Woo!  Woo!  Oh, gee!”

H:  “Iolaus!  I’ve got him.”

I:  “Oh, yeah-- yeah, yeah.”

Soldier:  “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!”

I:  “All’s well that ends well.  Ha, ha.”

Soldier’s Voice:  “Somebody, help me!”

H:  “Looks like your arm’s good as new.”

I:  “Yeah, thanks to Serena.  But, two weeks’ rest is enough.  I
want to head to Thessala.”

H:  “I’d like to-- stay a little longer.”

I:  “You still wanna try and save the Hind?  Forget it-- she
knows how to look after herself.”

H:  “It’s more-- complicated than that.”

I:  “It’s not the Hind.  It’s-- Serena”

H:  “Maybe, both.”


Servants:  “We’ve prepared food for the altar.”

Ares:  “Strife!  Have you seen Serena?”

Strife:  “Yes, I have.”

Ares:  “And?”

Strife:  “Hey, don’t shoot the messenger, OK?  I saw her with
your brother, Hercules.  You might as well face it, Uncle.  She’s
startin’ to play you like a flute.”

Ares:  “Don’t-- push it.  She’s devoted to me.”

Strife:  “Yeah, well, so was your other star pupil, Xena,
remember?  She left ya standing-- and guess what?  Hercules is
doing it again!”

Ares:  “That was different.  Xena had a character flaw-- a small
speck of morality.  He took advantage of it.  No-- Serena is the
Golden Hind.  She owes me her life-- and I won’t let her go.”

Strife:  “Well, who would?  If her blood will really kill a god--
that means you’ve got the edge on all the gods on Olympus.  I
wonder if it’s really true, though.”

Ares:  “Don’t-- even go there.”

Strife:  “I was just curious-- you know?  I need something to
do-- a project I can use my talents on-- get my teeth into.”

Ares:  “Don’t let curiosity lead you into ambition.  You might
not like where it takes you.  For now, keep an eye on this--
situation with Hercules and Serena.”

Strife:  “You know I will.”  [Giggles]

Servant:  “Hmm.  Hmm.”


Hind:  “Oops.”

H:  “Shoot first and ask questions later?”

Serena:  “It’s my Ares training.”

H:  “Hmm, like I said, ‘Shoot first and ask questions later.’
That is still a-- miracle to see.”

Serena:  “When you’re the last of your kind, sometimes a little
miracle helps to survive.”

H:  “I‘m glad you’ve survived.  I need to talk to you.”

Serena:  “I know.  You’ve come to say goodbye.”

H:  “No, no.  Um-- I’ve-- come to ask you-- to marry me.”



Serena:  “I am flattered-- that you would consider marriage for
us.  But it can never be-- and you know why.”

H:  “What I know is that I love you.”

Serena:  “And I love you-- but I can’t live in your world.  When
a mortal touches me, I turn into the Hind.  It would happen
sooner or later.”

H:  “It can work, Serena.  We’ll find a way.”

Serena:  “Well, that _would_ be a miracle, but I belong to Ares.”

H:  “No, you belong to yourself.  No, he may have saved your life
and taught you how to survive-- but one life can’t belong to

Serena:  “Look, I know how you feel about him.  He’s told me of
your jealousy.”

H [Chuckles]:  “I am not _jealous_ of him!  I _resent_ him, yes,
because he’s the god of war.  Serena, you can’t believe
everything he tells you.”

Serena:  “Why would he lie to me?!”

H:  “Because he’s Ares!  He is _using_ you!  With your blood,
you’re his weapon against all the other gods.”

Serena:  “Look, I know what he is!  But without him, I wouldn’t
even be here!”

H:  “Fine.  Then tell him-- ‘Thank you, very much’-- and marry

Serena:  “I ca-- ”

H:  “No-- yes, you can.  Yes, you can.”


Joxer [J]’s Voice:  “Uh-- excuse me.”

Hemnor:  “Where’s Hercules?”

I:  “Uh-- he said he’d be here.  He’ll be here.  Uh.  Well, come
on-- let’s try and hoist it anyway.  Maybe we can surprise him.
OK-- pull!”

Man’s Voice:  “This thing weighs a ton!”

I:  “Come on, get your backs into it!”

Man’s Voice:  “Stand back, [Iona?].  We’re raising the tank!”

J:  “Excuse me.  Excuse me.  Have you seen a guy named, uh--
Hercules?  He’s got his, uh, partner, uh-- E-Ebole, I-Ibole, uh,
or, uh-- what’s-his-name?”

I:  “Yeah-- that’d be me.”

J:  “You’re Hercules?  You’re Hercules?  I-- thought you’d be,
uh-- taller.”

I:  “No-- I’m what’s-his-name.”

J:  “Oh.  Well.  I am, of course, Joxer the Magnificent!”

I:  “Oh, Joxer the Magnificent.”

J:  “Yeah.”

I:  “Never heard a’ ya.”

J:  “Does the name, ‘Xena,’ mean anything to you?”

I:  “Oh, yeah-- yeah-- her, I know.”

J:  “Oh-- well-- you’re only looking at her mentor, master, and
former trainer.”

I:  “I wish I was looking at you on the end of this rope--
helping, pulling, and not talking.”

J:  “Oh-- oh, right.  Well-- you know-- I figured, uh, Xena’s
kinda slow, and-- I figured, Herc’s a little more my speed, you
know?  Ahhhhhhh!”

Man’s Voice:  “What an idiot!”

I:  “The Magnificent!”


Ares:  “What am I to do with you?”

Hind:  “Have I disappointed the great Ares?”

Ares:  “No-- no, I-- I’m actually quite pleased.  I saw the way
you handled Hercules-- refusing his proposal without saying,
‘No’-- stringin’ him along.  It-- it just made my day.”

Hind:  “I didn’t say no because-- I wasn’t sure of my feelings.
Now, I am.”

Ares:  “Well, good.  Good.  And now that that’s over-- you-- and
I-- oh, I have such plans.”

Hind:  “No.  I’ve come to ask you for my freedom.”

Ares:  “You really know how to make the moment, don’t you?
Supposing I’m not in the mood to give it to you.”

Hind:  “Then I’ll take it.  You know I can.”

Ares:  “And I-- could do the same.  I could take you.  Your anger
excites me.  The possibilities, the two of us-- .  You’re not
makin’ this easy.”

Hind:  “Then I have your permission?”

Ares:  “Well, let’s just say I’ll-- give ya a little leeway-- a
little personal time so you can find out how boring my brother,
Hercules, really is.”

Hind:  “I will always be grateful.”

Ares:  “Don’t be tiresome.”

Strife:  “Maybe, it’s just me-- I-I’m sure it is-- but you give
her permission-- to hang with Hercules?”

Ares:  “You misunderstand my gift to my brother.  You, um-- ever
hear of the Trojan Horse?”



Man’s Voice:  “We can do it!  Here we go!”

I:  “Come on, you guys-- pull!”

J:  “There, see.  It’s ‘cause I’m usin’ both hands.”

H:  “So am I.”

Man’s Voice:  “That’s incredible!”

H:  “I know I’m late.”

I:  “No, no, no, no-- you’re not late.  We were just, uh--
warming up.”

H:  “Yeah.”

I:  “What is the matter with you?”

H:  “Nothing.”

I:  “Ah-- Serena, isn’t it?  I know that face.  That’s the face
of a man with woman trouble.  Well, never mind.  She’ll come

H:  “Let’s just finish this and get outta here.”

J:  “Listen, can you tell me when this guy, Hercules, is gonna
get here?  ‘Cause my hands are gettin’ calloused.”

I:  “Uh-- that’d be him.”

J:  “That’s Hercules?”

I:  “Mm-hmm.”

J:  “I thought he’d be-- a little stronger.”

I:  [Laughs]

Boy’s Voice:  “Catch!”

H:  “Serena.”

I:  “See?  I told you she’d come back.”

J:  [Whistles]

H:  “Hey.  Excuse me.”

I:  “Excuse me.”

H:  “Got it?”

I:  “Yeah.”

Boy:  “Kick it to me!  Kick it to me!”

H:  “Serena!  Uh-- that’s a-- nice catch.”

Man’s Voice [in background during these lines]:  “Look?!  Did you
see that?!  She caught it!”

Serena:  “You, too.”

Boy:  “Thank you.”

H:  “You’re welcome.”

Serena:  “Oh, they’re having so much fun.”

H:  “Yeah.”

Serena:  “I always wondered what it’d be like in the village.
You know?  People living their lives.  I like it here.”

H:  “Hmm-- yeah, it’s-it’s dangerous for you to come here.”

Serena:  “I thought is was worth the risk.”

H:  “Right-- of course.  I wish I could change your mind.”

Serena:  “You can’t.”

H:  “Yeah.”

Serena:  “I, um-- had to give that back to you so-- you could
give it to me at our wedding.”

H:  “You mean-- ‘Yes.  Yes?’”

Woman’s Voice:  “Ain’t that sweet?”

I:  “Oh, oh.  Oh, oh, uh!  Uh.  Herc.  Hercules?!”

H:  “Oh, yeah,  that’s-that’s Iolaus.  Uh-- I’ll be right back,

I’s Voice:  “Hercules!”

H:  “Now, you did say, ‘Yes,’ right?”

Serena:  “Yes.”

I:  “Uh-- you know-- when you’re ready, but-- now would be good!”

H:  “This is so cool.”

I:  “Herc, Hercules!”

H:  “She said, ‘Yes!’”

I:  “Well, I told you it would work out.  What do you mean, ‘She
said, “Yes.”’?!”

H:  “Well, she-- ”

“Hanged Man”:  “Ahhhhh!”

Woman’s Voice:  “Help him!”

Man’s Voice:  “Get a ladder!”

Man’s Voice:  “Come on!  Get a ladder and quick!”

Joxer:  “OK, folks, just back on up.  Listen, this is no place
for a lady.”

Serena:  “I-I’m a friend of Hercules’.”

Joxer:  “You’re a friend of Hercules’.  Yeah, everyone’s a friend
of the big fella’s.  Well, look, we’re all very busy here, so,
folks, if you’d please, just _back on up_, and we’ll-- please--
well, just, step back-- ”

Serena:  “[Screams]

I:  “Come on!  Serena?”

Man’s Voice:  “It’s the Hind!”

Woman’s Voice:  “The Hind!”

H:  “What?”

I:  “No!  Wait, wait, wait, wait wait!”

Bearded Man:  “It’s the Hind!  Kill her!  Kill her before she
kills us!”

H:  “Leave her alone!”



H:  “Serena!”

I:  “Come on!  Herc!”

Men’s Voices:  “Get her!  Be careful!”  “Come on!”

I:  “Come on!”

H:  “Hurry up!”

I:  “Get up there!”

H:  “Leave her alone!”

Bearded Man:  “That’s better.”

Ladder Man:  “I got him.”

I:  “OK!  OK!  Go!  Go!  Go!”

H:  “Serena, I’m coming!”

Man’s Voice:  “Easy!”

H:  “Back off!  If anyone wants to hurt her-- they have to go
through me!”

I:  “And me.”

J:  “And me, your worst nightmare!  Don’t worry, fellas, I’ll
take care of the crowd.  [Continues on during the following
dialogue]  Everyone stand back.  There’s nothin’ more for you to

H:  “It’s all right, Serena.  It’s over.”

Hind:  “No-- this is impossible.”

J:  “Go home, now.  Joxer the Magnificent has everything under

H:  “Thanks for standing by me.”

I:  “Hey, we’re friends.  We don’t need to thank each other.”

H:  “Yeah.”

I:  “You better go.”

Bearded Man [Morphs into Strife]:  “Well-- ”


I:  “Find Serena?”

H:  “Yeah.  Yeah, she’s safe.”

I:  “What happened back there?”

H:  “Uh-- well-- when a mortal touches her, she becomes the

I:  “How does she-- get back?”

H:  “When the shock wears off-- when she calms down-- she can
change at will.”

I:  “Well-- thanks for telling me earlier.”

H:  “Iolaus, I meant to-- but I wanted you to get to know her,

I:  “OK.  So, it’s-- it’s serious.”

H:  “Yeah.”

I:  “And before, when you said that-- she said-- ‘Yes’-- ”

H:  “We’re gonna get married.”

I:  “You know, um-- if you’re happy, I’m-- happy.  I’m glad you
found someone.”

H:  “But-- ”

I:  “She belongs to Ares.”

I:  “No-- did.  We belong with each other, now.”

I:  “OK.  Well-- let me ask you a question-- as your friend.  In
all of this-- have you thought about what it is that you do--
that we do?”

H:  “Yeah.  I mean, nothing’s changed.  We’ll still be a team,
doing the same things.  It worked before.  When I was with
Deianeira, we used-- ”

I:  “What?”

H:  “Deianeira-- I need to go to the other side and tell her.”

I:  “Oh, come on-- you know how dangerous that is.”

H [Interrupting]:  “She deserves to know.  And I’ll be fine.
It’s just-- when I get back-- I want you to be the best man at
the wedding.”

I:  “Aw, Hercules.  Look, you getting married-- it does change
things.  Yeah, I should be your best man, but-- if I’m honest-- I
have a bad feeling about it.  And I don’t think-- I’m gonna go on
to Thessala.”

H:  “Oh.  Well, I hope you’ll reconsider.”

I:  “Yeah.”


H:  “This is it.”

Serena:  “The entrance to the other side?”

H:  Yeah.”

Serena:  “I’m worried for you.”

H:  “It’ll be OK.”

Serena:  “Look, I know this is the right thing for you to do,
but-- what if-- what if, when you see Deianeira and the kids--
you decide to stay?”

H:  “I won’t.  I can’t live in their world-- and they can’t live
in mine.”

Serena:  “Please, be careful.”

H:  “I love you, Serena.  Nothing can keep me from coming back to
you.  I promise.  Hades!  Hades!”


H:  “Hades, this isn’t the Elysian Fields.”


J:  “You call this an omelet pan?!  For what?  Mice eggs?”

Soldier:  “You!  We heard the Hind was here in the village.”

J:  “Yeah, roadblock, where were you?”

Soldier:  “Huh?”

J:  “I was the one who saved the girl from the mob.  [Laughs]

Soldier:  “Where _is_ she?”

J:  “Listen!  You don’t know who you’re dealing with!  And a--
whoo!  Didn’t anyone ever tell ya not to chew on your socks?”

Soldier 2:  “He deserved that!”

Soldier 3:  “Good one.”

I:  “Leave him alone.”

Bearded Soldier:  “Look who’s back.  You don’t have your partner
with you this time.”

I:  “I don’t need Hercules.”

J’s Voice:  “Because I’m here!  Joxer the Magnificent!”

Man’s Voice:  “He doesn’t know when to quit.”


Man’s Voice:  “Come on!”  “Come on!”

J:  “Listen, you-- .  I’ll take you on one at a time, or all of
you at once!  ‘Cause that-- .  Get me out of this.  Oh, you.
Good.  Good.  My plan worked perfectly.”

I:  “Yeah.  Yeah, you’re-- you’re quite a boxer, Joxer.”

J:  “Thanks, Iolaus, I-- ”


Deianeira:  “I’ll tell you another story about your father, all
right?  There was the time-- ”

H:  “Hey, come on!  Come here, boy!”

Boy:  “Dad’s here!”

Girl:  “Daddy, you’re home!”

H:  “Ooh-- yes, I am.”

Deianeira:  “This is so weird.  I thought about you this morning.
I _knew_ you were gonna be here, today.  Oh!  I missed you.”

H:  “Me, too.  Where’s Aeson?”

Boy:  “He’s down by the creek.”

Deianeira:  “Well, go tell him that his father’s here.  Mm-hmm.”

H:  “Um-- ”

Deianeira:  “Is something wrong?”

H:  “No, no-- nothing’s wrong, I--

Deianeira:  “Well-- ”

H:  “Uh-- I have to tell you something.”

Deianeira:  “Well, you know you can tell me anything.  What is

H:  “Uh, I know.  I, uh-- ”

Deianeira:  “What?”

H:  “I just didn’t think it would be this hard.  I’ve fallen in
love.  Deianeira, I-- ”

Boy:  “Help!  Mom!  Dad!”

H:  “What is it?”

Girl:  “Aeson’s gone.  Someone took him.”

H:  “I’ll find him.  I’ll be right back!”


H:  “Aeson!  Aeson!  Aeson!”

Aeson:  “Leave me alone.”

H:  “What?”

Aeson:  “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

H:  “Aeson.”

Aeson:  “You don’t care about me.  You don’t care about any of
us.  You never did.  We wouldn’t have died if you cared.”

H:  “Don’t say that.  I love all of  you very much.”

Aeson:  “Right.  You love us enough to go and marry somebody

H:  “Who filled your mind with these terrible thoughts?”

Aeson:  “You did.  I hate you!  I wanna kill you.”



H:  “Why are you saying these things?  I mean, I would do
anything for you.”

Aeson:  “Would you?  I wonder.  Would you give up Serena?”

H:  “How do you know about Serena?”

Aeson:  “Never mind.  I know.”

H:  “You’re not my son.  Strife.”

Strife:  “And Uncle Ares said you weren’t with it.”

H:  “Aeson!”

Aeson’s Voice:  “Dad!  Help me!”


Aeson’s Voice:  “I’m over here!  Dad.”

H:  “Aeson.  I thought I’d lost you.”

Aeson:  “He tricked me.  He said he was taking me to you.”

H:  “It’s all right.  It’s-- it’s over, now.”

Aeson:  “I was so scared.  I love you, Dad.”

H:  “Uh-- I know you do, Son.  I love you, too.”


Ares:  “You’re wasting time and twigs.  He’s not coming back.”

Serena:  “He promised.”

Ares:  “Half-gods tell half-truths.”

Serena:  “Then I’ll go to him to the other side.”

Ares:  “If you wish-- though you may find it a little-- crowded--
in the house of Deianeira.”

Serena:  “It’s not really any of your concern.”

Ares:  “Well-- one look at his real wife, and, uh-- that was it.”

Serena:  “I don’t believe you.”

Ares:  “Would I lie?  He never loved you.  It was just a way to
get at me.  Everything’s gonna be-- as they were between us,
Serena.  You can come home if you want to.  I’m willing to
forgive-- and forget.”


H:  “Deianeira-- you don’t think I still care about you?  What’s
happening to me now doesn’t change our past.”

Deianeira:  “Oh-- it is not the past that I am worried about.
It’s just that-- I don’t want to lose you.”

H:  “You won’t.  You never will.”

Deianeira:  “What do you mean, I won’t?  You found somebody else!
Oh, god, what did I expect?”

H:  “I never meant to hurt you.  I just wanted you to know.”

Deianeira:  “I appreciate that.  I know how dangerous it is for
you to come over here.  Why don’t you just, um-- why don’t you
just not make the journey again?”

H:  “Uh-- shall I tell the children?”

Deianeira:  “No.  I’ll tell them when I think they’re ready.”

H:  “Goodbye, Deianeira.  I, uh-- I will always love you.”

Deianeira:  “I will always love you, too.  Always.”


Serena:  “I was so scared.”

H:  “I’m back, now.”

Serena:  “Are you?”

H:  “Yes.”

Serena:  “Was it difficult?”

H:  “It was.  She, uh-- ”

Serena:  “The past is gone-- for both of us.”

H:  “Not quite.”


H:  “Ares!  Show yourself!  Come out and face me!”

Ares:  “You are becoming a singular annoyance, Brother.”

H:  “Your treachery is limitless.”

Ares:  “Why have limits?  They’re so limiting.”

H:  “Leave my family alone.  That includes Serena.  We _will_ be
married.  Don’t interfere.”

Ares:  “Why would I?  I really don’t think it’s gonna happen--
not given the cost.”

H:  “Don’t threaten me.”

Ares:  “Surely, you didn’t think the gods would smile on such a
union.  I mean, what?  Mingle your blood with hers?  I think that
gave them pause to contemplate what kind of powerful offspring
that might produce.”

H:  “If you have something to say, say it.”

Ares:  “You might say I, uh-- brokered a deal.  After all, the
Hind does belong to me.”

H:  “She belongs to no one.”

Ares:  “To allow this-- marriage to take place, the gods have
decided that you must make a small sacrifice.”

H:  “Nothing they demand would be too great.”

Ares:  “They want you to surrender your strength-- your power.
Oh, I-I’m sorry.  I thought you said that nothing was too great.”

H:  “Zeus would never go along with this.”

Ares:  “Oh, wouldn’t he?”

H:  “It wouldn’t stop me from helping people.  You can’t take my

Ares:  “Oh, that is a pity.  But I suspect your fervor to aid
mankind might diminish once reality sets in.  So!  What’s it to
be?  You lose her?  You lose your powers?  This is a limited-time
offer.  You need to choose now.”

H:  “I choose Serena.”

Ares:  “I win.”

H:  “No-- I win.”

Ares:  “Ooh-- nothin’ like a brotherly embrace.”  [Laughs]



J:  “Now, listen, Iolaus.  Another side benefit is, I’m an
excellent cook.  How do you like your steak?”

I:  “Alone.”

J:  “Listen, would you stop checking those ropes?!  I say, on to
Thessala!  You know, fortune, fame, and glory await us!”

I:  “Yeah, good, go.  Don’t keep them waiting.”

J:  “You know, you can quit looking for Hercules, ‘cause he’s not
coming back.  I mean, even if he does, he’s marrying-- you know--
Goatgirl, or whatever.  Where are they gonna have the wedding?
The chapel at the zoo?”

I:  “Listen, I’m staying here till I know he’s all right.”

J:  “Oh, yeah, now.  Yeah, yeah, he’s fine.  Don’t worry about
Herc.  He just made the good-old-fashioned commute to the other
side and back.  Excuse me while I fall down laughing.”  [Laughs]

I:  “Hercules!”

H:  “I, uh-- thought you were leaving.”

I:  “Yeah, yeah.  I am.  I-- had to check the ropes and, uh--
they’ll be OK.”

H:  “Yeah-- good, good.  Does this mean you’ll-- stay for the

J:  “Wedding?  Wedding?  [Laughs]  I don’t think so.  Listen, you
kids have a group hug, and then my partner and I are going to

H:  “You and him?”

I:  “No.  He is completely deluded.”

J:  “What is it?  My masculine ability?  My lightning-fast
reflexes that you doubt?  OK, fine, fine-- a brief

I:  “Joxer, don’t bother.”

J:  “All right.  OK.  See that pole?” 

I:  “Forget it.”

J:  “Watch.  Oh.”

Man’s Voice:  “He cut the ropes!”

J:  “Oops.  Wait here-- sidekick.”

I:  “Here, let me help!”

Man’s Voice:  “Give us a hand!”

Man’s Voice:  “Tie it off!  Tie it off!”

I:  “What’s wrong with you?  You lifted that thing by yourself
this morning.”

H:  “My strength is gone.” 

I:  “What?”

H:  “Ares took it.”

I:  “How?”

H:  “It was a decision of all the gods.”

I:  “Even Zeus?  Well-- how long is this gonnna last?”

H:  “From now on.”

I:  “Why?”

H:  “Because I _traded_ it!  It’s for Serena.”

I:  “For Serena?  Hercules-- how do you expect to go on helping
people-- if you’ve given away your powers?”

H:  “The same way you do.”


Ares:  “Even more than I’ll miss you serving at my temple-- I’ll
miss this vision of you running free.”

Serena:  “This was my home.”

Ares:  “And now-- a dreary hovel-- living like a peasant-- a life
worse than death.”

Serena:  “Whatever my life with Hercules holds-- I look forward
to it.”

Ares:  “Go to him, then.  But you don’t leave here as the Hind.
Oh, no, no, no, no.  You’ll be mortal.  You’ll experience
sickness-- you’ll grow old-- and you will die.  Like they say,
‘It’s a wonderful life.’”

Serena:  “But I’m the last of my kind.”

Ares:  “Your kind is extinct-- unless you wish to reconsider.”

Serena:  “No.  If that’s what it takes, that’s what I’ll do.”

Ares:  “True love-- how I despise it.  Yes-- I will miss you.”


H:  “So, you’re leaving.”

I:  “How can you miss me if I don’t go away?”

H:  “Then you-- haven’t changed your mind about the wedding?”

I:  “I can’t.”

H:  “Well, we, uh-- had some wild times together.”

I:  “We’re wild guys.”

H:  “We made a good team.”

I:  “Yeah.  We were.”

H:  “Well.  Promise you’ll visit.  Little Iolaus will wanna know
his namesake.”

I [Chuckles]:  “Yeah.  I will.”


J:  “Come on, Iolaus.”

I:  “Look.  I’m gonna say this slowly.  There never was a
partnership.  It’s all in your mind-- what little there is of

J:  “You’re gonna be sorry!  What are ya hangin’ out with that
loser for, anyway?!  I mean, hey!  Hercules doesn’t even have his
power anymore!”

I:  “Never, _ever_ speak of Hercules like that in my presence.
He is ten times the man you will ever be.”

J:  “OK.  Well, great-- now he’s your best buddy, again.  I wish
you’d make up your mind.”


H:  “I‘m afraid the trees will have to be our witness.”

Serena:  “They’re family.”

H:  “Ready?”

Serena:  “Yes, I am.”

H:  “We ask the force-- ”

I:  “Wait!  What is the rush?”

H:  “Glad you’re here.”

Serena:  “So am I.”

I:  “Oh, I couldn’t miss it.  This is-- it’s the most important
moment in your life.  That makes it the most important moment in
my life.  Anyway, you can’t get married without a best man.”

Serena:  “Shall we begin again?”

H:  “Yes.  We ask the force-- that created the sun, the earth,
the seas, and the skies-- ”

Serena:  “-- to bless this union-- make us one-- inseparate--

H:  “Always.  And everything is gonna be OK.”

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