PROMO
TRANSCRIPTION
Adar: By Zeus and all the gods.
THE WORLD'S LARGEST MONUMENT VANISHES--WITHOUT A TRACE.
Xena: Things just don't vanish, Adar. Somebody stole it.
(Autolycus gives a "Who, me?" look.)
Xena (to Adar): I think we have a suspect.
THE GREATEST HEIST IN HISTORY-- BUT WHO DID IT?
Autolycus (to Xena): I did not steal the statue.
AND HOW?
Autolycus: Well, it is impressive, isn't it?
TO CATCH A THIEF--
Autolycus: Now, I happen to have a plan.
XENA AND THE KING OF THIEVES--
Xena (to Tarsus): Darling!
GO UNDERCOVER--
Xena: Hold everything! The party starts here!
(Xena punches two men behind her back)
BUT GET CAUGHT--
Tarsus: Autolycus!
IN THE ACT.
(Autolycus surrounded by swords.)
Tarsus (to Autolycus): I killed your brother.
(Autolycus in chains.)
Tarsus: Soon, I'll be delivering you to your executioners.
Autolycus: This should be interesting.
NOW HE'S OUT FOR REVENGE--
(Autolycus gives a beating to Tarsus'ssoldiers.)
Xena (to Gabrielle): He's going to kill Tarsus.
(Autolycus holds a sword to Tarsus' neck.)
ON A MISSION OF MURDER.
Autolycus: Stay out of this, Xena!
(A mob of soldiers enters the room.)
Xena: We have a plan, remember?
(Xena flips over the soldiers with Autolycus on her back.)
(Xena and Gabrielle fight Tarsus and his soldiers.)
BATTLE ON, XENA!
TV GUIDE PROMO
Autolycus's reputation as "king of thieves" is at
stake when a 20-foot statue turns up missing---and he
didn't steal it. So he vows to steal it back.
Autolycus helps Xena and Gabrielle retrieve the golden statue of Pax.
AIRING AND RATING
INFORMATION
1st RELEASE: 04/27/98
An AA average of 4.5
Competition from Syndicated Action Dramas:
(1) X-FILES 7th with 6.2
(2) XENA 13th with 4.5
(3) STAR TREK DS9 17th with 4.2
(4) WALKER 18th with 4.0
2nd RELEASE: 09/07/98
An AA average 4.7
Competition from Syndicated Action Dramas:
(1) X-FILES 8th with 4.9
(2) XENA 11th with 4.7
(3) HERCULES 17th with 3.7
(4) WALKER 19th with 3.5
(5) EARTH FINAL CONFLICT 20th with 3.5
SYNOPSIS:
This synopsis is by Bluesong.
Xena and Gabrielle take
separate paths at the beginning of the show, leaving
Gabrielle to venture to the village where the statue of
"Pax" (peace) stands.
The village leader is sorry Xena isn't there, but
Gabrielle says she'll be in
the next day. So Gabrielle listens to speeches and
celebrations of peace.
The next morning the statue is missing. Xena rejoins
Gabrielle and looks
around the area, seeking clues. How could someone
steal a statue that is
taller than a house? An old woman catches Xena's
attention, and Xena goes
after her, knocking her down and then catching her by
the ankles with her
whip. "Grandma" turns out to be Autolycus in disguise.
He claims he had
nothing to do with the heist, though, and asks Xena for
her help in getting
back his title of "King of Thieves." But it has to be
done his way -- not
crash and slash. He reminds Xena of his efforts to
save her beautiful body
while listening to Gabrielle whine and cry about
missing Xena the entire time,
and Xena immediately gives in.
Autolycus goes deep-sea
diving, complete with ancient scuba gear, and sees a
trench in the ocean where the statue was dragged along
by a boat. He dresses
up as a merchant to get the wharf manager to talk; when
he doesn't, Xena does
her "touch." Autolycus begins arguing with Xena about
her technique:
Gabrielle stands by the choking man and counts out the
obligatory 30 seconds.
Xena sets him free of the "touch" and he tells them
that a man named Tarses of
Cyros stole it. He has a castle around some place. So
the three head for the
castle. Gabrielle goes in, pretending to be "Myopia
the fence." She says she
wants to buy the statue. Tarses decides that if people
know he stole it, then
he needs to melt it down into gold lumps. "Myopia"
doesn't want that, though.
Then "Ezra" the fence enters (aka Xena). She plays a
Meg-the-tramp role and
decides she wants the lumps of gold. Autolycus comes
in as a hunchback named
"Bently" (an unfortunate name). He helps Xena sabatoge
the furnace so the
statue can't be melted down, then goes inside to spy on
things. Xena and
Gabrielle get into a bidding war to buy time for
Autolycus. Xena wins.
Later, at a party, Autolycus
gives himself away when a woman keeps punching at
his hump and it rattles. Tarses realizes who he is.
Turns out Tarses killed
Autolycus's brother a long time ago. Tarses puts
Autolycus in chains with 200
locks. Xena pretends to be a dumb girlfriend and they
tie her up; she quickly
gets loose, loses the bimbo outfit, and gets to work.
However, they still
want to use Autolycus's plan, so they gather materials
for him. When he
hasn't shown up by sunrise, Xena goes to find him. He
has escaped the dungeon
and decided to kill Tarses. Xena finds him and talks
him out of it. They
retreat, leading everyone into the area where the
statue is, and there is a
fight. After it is over, a general comes in. He is to
bid on the statue.
But the statue has disappeared! The general is very
mad. Autolycus says he
has it now, but he can't sell it. He has made the
statue appear to be gone
somehow.
The statue appears on its
pedestal the morning: there is much rejoicing.
Autolycus kisses Xena on the cheek and leaves.
COMMENTARY:
This commentary is by Beth Gaynor.
So it's Royal Couple of Thieves, part ii. Xena and Autolycus
do the sneaky thing again, this time with Gabrielle along to
lend a helping hand. And I enjoyed the heck out of it. This
is the kind of interaction that made me love Autolycus in
the first place. The last couple of episodes he's been in -
King of Assassins and Tsunami - weren't good uses of the
character. It's good to see the King of Thieves in top form
again, merrily pulling a bemused Xena and Gabrielle along as
he rogues his way through the show.
From the end scene of The Quest:
"But if it's all the same, I think I'll keep that
favor thing in mind. Might just come in handy
someday for the King of Thieves."
A season later, the King of Thieves collects. With a
hysterical Autolycus-eye view of the events in The Quest,
especially his dig about Gabrielle's grief. It was the right
button to push for Xena.
"Are you quite finished?"
"That depends. Did it work?"
"It worked."
"Then I'm finished!"
Even Autolycus's face bounce down the gangplank of the ship
was reminiscent of his introduction to Xena in Royal Couple
of Thieves. I like his old lady screams, though. And as long
as we're in the Royal Couple vein, I was watching Autolycus
and Gabrielle's hands like a hawk when they said goodbye. I
was WAITING for the "ring of Apollo" to show up somewhere
unexpected. Ah, well. Anyone else think that Gab offered her
cheek to Autolycus just to throw him off balance?
What was with all the slow-motion during the big fight?
Did we need to fill some time? It was so long it made
the fight look pretty silly.
When we first see the statue at Tarses's palace, I thought
the ocean voyage had shrunk it. All the shots of the statue
at the village made it look like a colossus. Turns out it
just had a really big pedestal it stood on. The real trick
was getting that pedestal around. Why was there just one
furrow in the sea floor for dragging the two pieces away
from the village?
Thank you, XenaStaff, for showing us the mayor scratching
himself in the morning. Twice. Both times I was muttering
"if he goes any lower out there on his front porch, I hope
Xena chakrams him."
Great debate between Autolycus and Xena about what "counts"
as stealing. Rightful owners don't matter - it's the
sneakiness that's important.
Why did the story not have Xena arrive at the festival with
Gabrielle? My best guess is that the writers didn't want a
huge theft to happen right under Xena's nose. This way, we
see the statue, we see the happy festival with Gab, but Xena
doesn't arrive until after the dastardly deed is done.
Gabrielle dusts off the old Marquessa accent for her stint
as "Myopia." She needs some practice with it, though. The
statue will get "gooey"? Well, if it's the best you can come
up with on the spot...
Speaking of another Royal Couple reference, I think every
smack "Ezra" gave "manservant Bentley" upside his head was
paybacks for that "Cherish the Concubine" gig he tricked her
into. The Warrior Princess has a long memory, Autolycus.
Listen to the conversation between Xena and Autolycus as
they sneak down the hallway to collect supplies for his
plan:
"What else would you expect from the King of
Thieves?"
"Oh, Thebes. I've been there."
Admit it, Xena, you're enjoying the heck out of yourself.
She really does have fun with those disguises, complain
as she may. Plus she was still in a good mood from having
outbid Gabrielle.
Xena really does get into her roles. Nice kicking and
screaming drag they had to do to get her out of the party
after Autolycus has been unmasked. (Watch Gabrielle bury
her face in her drink when it starts.) I guess she pitched
enough of a fit that the chakram wasn't noticed when they
tied her up.
Scary crying job Ezra gave when she was tied up in the
chair. But once again, it must have masked a whole heck of a
lot. Twenty seconds after the door is closed, Xena's in her
leathers, dragging the guard inside, and Gabrielle emerges -
also back in her normal clothes - from the side door where
she apparently ducked when Tarses came on the scene. Talk
about quick changes!
Wait a minute, hold everything. Xena and Gabrielle traveled
on a ship! WITHOUT an eye on the prow! And no disaster
occurred! It's that bloody EYE that's the curse, not ships.
Autolycus was imprisoned in 20 feet of chain with 200
locks... that's 10 locks per foot of chain. It's a
wonder the weight didn't crush him.
The painted hallway helped feed Autolycus's idea to disguise
the statue, but was it also a XenaStaff crack about their
own sets? When they panned quickly past the hallway, I
chuckled at the obvious fakery - and then Autolycus checked
out the same thing. Ha!
My one beef with the use of Autolycus in this episode: we
didn't get to see his cool spidey-spikes again. I love those
neat grappling hooks.
This episode had a couple of NICE Kodak moments. Loved the
opening silhouette of Xena and Gabrielle on the hillside,
and Xena crouched in the window should be made into
life-sized posters.
Autolycus milks for all it's worth the fact that Xena likes
him. Not too many people would survive calling her "my Xena"
AND "my Warrior Princess" in the span of a single episode.
Ah well, I guess once you've claimed the Destroyer of
Nations to be your concubine, everything else is downhill
from there.
I liked the two-person flips over Tarses's guards; cute
stunt effect. But watch the first time that Xena and
Autolycus land: the carpet under their feet sags and a puff
of what looks like dust gathers around them. Tarses needs to
hire some new houeskeepers.
For all of the talk about paint, Autolycus's plan is
actually a variation of "the old false floor routine"
from The Quest. They prop (paint?) a false rock wall
against the pedestal, then hide the statue behind it.
WHIMPERS,
MURMURS, AND A LOVE GONE TOO
FAR
11-05-01. Rob Tappert, executive producer, quoted in Dan Scapperotti's "Producing Xena: Warrior Princess: Rob Tapert on Censorship, Lesbian Ambiguity & Violence" in Femme Fatales, October 22 2001, Volume 8, Number 6, Page 20: "Sometimes you try things that don't exactly work. Some of them just weren't appealing to me. Jeez, I'm going to get myself in trouble with the writers. We did a couple that I wasn't all that fond of. We did one the second season called "The Execution" that I didn't like, and another - "Vanishing Act - just wasn't funny enough. We did another comedy, "Thims, Thims and Jims" [Fins Femmes and Gems] that made me laugh because it was so stupid".
02-09-98. Found on the Bruce
Cambpell website. "Autolycus enlists Xena and
Gabrielle to re-claim his crown as the 'King of
Thieves'."
He mentioned he was currently working on it.
HIGHLIGHTS:
Highlights by Beth
Gaynor.
"Ezra" gets a fabulous entrance, complete with Gabrielle's
flabbergasted reaction. And from the moment she tells Myopia
that "they say you used to be good-lookin'," the gauntlet
has been thrown. Xena grabs every chance she can to tweak
Gab (notice her call her "Myopium" at the party), who does
her best to fight back when she can, but her boring,
stuck-up fence just doesn't match up to the flamboyant
trader. The bidding is the ultimate in Xena and Gabrielle's
competitive natures gone amuck. Xena expects her 200,000
dinar bid when Autolycus returns to end the auction, but
Gabrielle doesn't let go so easy, and the imaginary money
starts flying. They're still bickering about it ten minutes
later. I don't think I stopped laughing the entire time. The
bard does get the final word when she yanks off Ezra's mole.
Ouch!
THINGS TO
LOOK OUT
FOR
These things are by Beth Gaynor.
Hat problems abounded during the big battle. Watch Gabrielle
when she squares off against two of the baddies. A staff
uppercut takes the hat off the guy to her left, but then
it's back on when she knocks him to the ground. Same thing
happens to Xena, too: after her lovely "Come play with me"
line, the guy on her right who tries to oblige her has no
hat on, then it's crawled back onto his head in time for
Xena to paste him.
Notice the cat sound effect when Autolycus digs into his
sleeve as the Armenian antiquities trader. I also loved Gab
counting off the pinch in that scene.
Gab had a new bag at the village; it looked like it might be
one of Argo's saddlebags. What happened to the trusty fuzzy
bag? She seemed to be carrying it when she was walking to
the village.
MORE THINGS TO
LOOK OUT
FOR
From Juhani. In episode "Vanishing Act" (season 3, ep 20) Gabrielle and Xena use names
Myopia and Ezra. Myopia means literally nearsightedness and Ezra is the
name of the (naturally male) high priest who led the Jews back to
Jerusalem after their Babylonian exile. This somehow correlates with the
plot of that episode.
TRANSCRIPT
Click here to read a transcript of VANISHING ACT.
DISCLAIMER:
Upon completion of the filming of this episode,
Autolycus' Scuba Gear was placed on display
at the Athens Diving Institute for the education
and enjoyment of future generations to come.
WHOOSH!
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