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Remember the song you couldn't get out of your head after watching FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS [#40]? The tune that managed to be simultaneously tuneful and tuneless? The ditty you've found yourself whistling at odd, often embarrassing, moments? Well, now you can sing along with total accuracy, because we have the complete lyrics! Without further ado, here is "Joxer's Song" in all its' variations.
Original version (from many (many!) episodes)
Bordello version (from Warrior...Priestess...Tramp)
Illusia version (from The Bitter Suite)
Annie's version (from Déjà Vu All Over Again)
Original version:
Joxer the Mighty
Roams through the countryside
He never needs a place to hide
With Gabby as his sidekick
Fighting with her little stick
Righting wrongs and singing songs
Being mighty all day long
He's Joxer—he's Joxer the Mighty!
Oohhhhhh—
He's Joxer the Mighty
He's really tidy
Everybody likes him
'Cause he has a funny grin
Joxer—
Joxer the Mighty!
Joxer the Mighty
He's very tidy
Everyone admires him
He's so handsome it's a sin
When you're in jeopardy
Don't call the cavalry
There's a better remedy
(Although he doesn't work for free)
He's every man's trusty,
He's every woman's fantasy,
Plus he's goo-oood company
He's Joxer—
I'm Joxer the Mighty!
Blood—valour—and victory! Ha-HA!
Joxer the Mighty
He's very tidy
Everyone admires him
He's so handsome it's a sin
When things get grim
He'll take it on the chin
If you're in jeopardy
Caused by the enemy
Don't call the cavalry
There's a better remedy
(Although he doesn't work for free!)
He's every man's trusty,
He's every woman's fantasy,
Plus he's goo-oood company
Look out! He's Joxer--
Joxer the Mighty!
Joxer the Mighty!!!
"Bordello" version:
TROLLOPS:
Joxer the Mighty,
Master of virility,
Every woman wants him
Je's so sexy it's a sin
If you want a special tryst
He's the man you can't resist
By every measure he's a prize
JOXER:
Just check out my shoe size!
Ha-ha!
TROLLOPS:
Joxer the Mighty,
Captain of debauchery,
Never seems to get enough
Of our tantalizing stuff
If you need some company,
With Joxer there's a guarantee
JOXER:
Of the highest potency!
TROLLOP:
Heck, I'd even work for free!
LEAH:
Take your filthy hands off me!
ALL:
He's Joxer—
Joxer the Mighty!
"Illusia" version:
Joxer the Mighty,
Master of geography,
Here to guide you on your way,
Stick with me—you'll never stray,
If you're in a land that's new,
I'm the man who'll get you through,
Even if you're slightly nude—
I'm Joxer,
Joxer the Mighty!
Annie's version:
Annie, Banannie
She kicks fanny!
Dangerous with sword and knife,
Learned her skills in that past life!
Never will you outfox her,
She's as good as all Joxer!
I'm Annie, I'm Annie the Mighty!
