THE ANNOTATED "WARRIOR PRINCESS"
ACT I, Part 2

HIGH SCHOOL MODE STARTS

[50] Hercules is now officially missing Iolaus. It's been a whole week. Iolaus said he'd help Hercules build the wall. Hercules looked forward to fishing and hunting and doing other manly things with Iolaus. But Iolaus dumped Hercules because Iolaus got a girlfriend! Can you say high school?


ACT 1, SCENE 4:


[51] (Next scene, Hercules is working on ALCMENE's wall.)
HERCULES: The last time I saw him, he was walking out of the inn with a big dumb smile on his face. That was a week ago. What's he doing anyway?
ALCMENE: Hercules, you fathered three children. You shouldn't have to ask.
HERCULES: Mother, that's not what I'm talking about. It's just that I don't get to see much of Iolaus except when we're in life-and-death situations. I was hoping we could do something more normal this time. You know, like -- I don't know, hunt, fish, whatever, talk.
ALCMENE: I know how much you enjoy spending time with Iolaus, but where love and humans are involved, you never know what to expect.
HERCULES: Iolaus doesn't know anything about this Xena. I mean what if she's got a jealous husband?
ALCMENE: What if she's the best possible cure for his loneliness? I think, until you find out otherwise, you should just be happy for him.
HERCULES: Okay, okay. You're right, again. I'll just be here filling the wall by myself.


ACT 1, SCENE 5: ANNOTATION


HERCULES ENVY, PART 1

[52] Xena now enters Phase 2 of her plan. Love puppy Iolaus doesn't even know what has hit him when Xena begins her slow poisoning of Iolaus' mind against Hercules. She's rather good at it. She begins by building up the idea that she prefers Iolaus over Hercules. Whenever Iolaus accidently starts to figure out the plot, she turns around and uses it to her advantage. She always turns it into a compliment to Iolaus and Iolaus contentedly accepts it.

PETRACUS, PART 1

[53] The alleged warlord Petracus is first mentioned in this scene and Xena tells Iolaus that because of this threat she is gathering together an army. She came to the village seeking out Hercules to be the champion for her village, but she had found Iolaus instead. Iolaus believes her every word and allows her to further manipulate the conversation where Iolaus wrongly believes he is insisting that he will go with Xena to fight Petracus, when in reality Xena artfully talked him into his offer.


ACT 1, SCENE 5:


[54] (Cut to Xena's camp. Xena and Iolaus are kissing in her room.)
IOLAUS: What's wrong?
XENA: I don't want you to fall in love with me.
IOLAUS: It may be too late. Have you thought about that?
XENA: I was hoping I'd be the only one to go away from this with a broken heart.
IOLAUS: You don't have to go away. I want you here.
XENA: I know you do, and I'd stay if it didn't mean I was letting somebody else down.
IOLAUS: You never spoke about another man.
XENA: Not one man, many of them. And women and children too. They're under siege by a warlord named Petracus. He's trying to drive them out of the Arcadian Highlands. I'm building an army to defend them.
IOLAUS: That's why you were traveling with so many weapons; you're a warrior.
XENA: I used to think I was, but now I know that no matter how hard I fight, I can't beat Petracus by myself. I need help.
IOLAUS: You came to get Hercules, didn't you?
XENA: Yes, but I found you.
IOLAUS: Then I should be the one you ask for help.
XENA: I can't do that.
IOLAUS: Why? Because Hercules is better than me, is that it? He's the warrior and I'm some meaningless jester?
XENA: No, because it wouldn't turn my life upside down if he got hurt or even killed. But if something happened to you --
IOLAUS: Nothing is going to happen to me.
XENA: You're not going to take 'No' for an answer, are you?
IOLAUS: No. I'm afraid you're stuck with me.
XENA: I like it like that.

(Xena and Iolaus kiss then--


ACT 1, SCENE 6: ANNOTATION


THEODORUS IS DEAD MEAT, PART 1

[55] Theodorus is prime dead meat and he hasn't a clue. Used to both illustrate the story of Petracus' son after Xena (just as Iolaus illustrates Petracus' son before Xena) and Iolaus' future prospects, the makers obviously want us to have no doubt that we should associate Theodorus with Iolaus. The neat cut from Xena kissing Iolaus to kissing Theodorus emphasizes their similarities and also builds upon Xena's reputation as a "murdering harlot".

[56] Theo? Earth to Theo? Anyone in their right mind would know that some little warrior minion would not be able to kill Hercules. But Theodorus is afire with Xena love and he just can't help himself. He knows he can kill Hercules especially if he carries Xena's medallion with him. How sweet.

[57] Poor Theodorus. Perhaps Xena is getting back at him for being so whiny in their opening scene of the first act. Or maybe she really does think of her army as completely disposable (gives one insight into how in THE GAUNTLET her army all went over to Darphus with only a few actually thinking about it). Makes you wonder what kind of person would knowingly and voluntarily serve under a system like that. Meet Theodorus and later Estrogon.

XENA IS A REALLY TOUGH CHICK, PART 3

[58] Xena knew Theodorus would not survive against Hercules, just as she anticipated Iolaus wouldn't survive either. She happily sent Theodorus to spring the trap.

THAT DARN MEDALLION, PART 1

[59] The medallion Xena gives to Theodorus serves as the antithesis of the sword. The sword that Hercules and Iolaus forged together represents their friendship and all good things following from the friendship. When Iolaus later on drops it following Xena, the meaning is obvious. The friendship has been harmed. The medallion, on the other hand, represents Xena's evil hold over her men and the power she wields against them. The sword is good, the medallion is evil. Fortunately, the medallion is put out of service early in the show; whereas the sword redeems Iolaus at the end of the show.


ACT 1, SCENE 6:


[60] --cut to THEODORUS and Xena kissing.)
XENA: Enough.
THEODORUS: But it's been so long.
XENA: Better to have to go without than to have to share a bed with Hercules' best friend.
THEODORUS: I'll kill any man who touches you.
XENA: No THEODORUS. Kill Hercules.
THEODORUS: You'd let me have that honor?
XENA: If you think you're worthy.
THEODORUS: You know I am.
XENA: Then take this. It will make you strong in battle and return you safely back to me.
THEODORUS: Xena --
XENA: Go. Make me proud.
THEODORUS: I will. I swear it.


ACT 1, SCENE 7: ANNOTATION


HERCULES & XENA

[61] Hercules is obviously still miffed at being stood up at the wall-building and snubbed at the dinner party. But the real knife in the back is where Xena cuts him off. "I'm just offering my help" is all he can answer to her curtness. He can sense that things are...amiss.

[62] Xena is artful in her little digs into Hercules while at the same time dealing out lines that were calculated for maximum Iolaus consumption: "Iolaus is all the help I need." and "That's why he's with me.".

IOLAUS & XENA

[63] "I don't want you to get the wrong idea about Xena. She's worth whatever risk it takes." Or so Iolaus thinks...or more truthfully, as Xena has MANIPULATED him to think. Iolaus had never heard of Petracus and neither had Hercules, who had been EVERYWHERE! That should have raised a red flag, but no, Iolaus was under the spell of Xena. What was Hercules excuse?

WHERE IS THEODORUS?

[64] Of course we know! He's traveling to Hercules' mother's barn to kill Hercules because he's got Xena's medallion! However, before then, Theodorus was popping up everywhere in various stages of mating with Xena. Was he hiding behind bushes outside of town? Did she ride wildly out of town to meet with Theodorus whenever Iolaus went to sleep or into another room? No, Xena was obviously an exceptional manager of time and space. She always made sure she was never a kiss away from some handy warrior boy toy or cuckold. The sport in it was keeping the cuckold from figuring it out, and the warrior boy toy from killing the cuckold.


ACT 1, SCENE 7:


[65] (Cut to Xena and Iolaus coming upon Hercules building the wall.)
IOLAUS: Hey, looking good.
HERCULES: I wish it was looking finished. Where are you going?
XENA: We're going to rid my people of the warlord Petracus.
HERCULES: I've never heard of him.
IOLAUS: From what Xena says, you and the whole world will if he isn't stopped in Arcadia.
HERCULES: Is there anything I can do?
XENA: No.
HERCULES: I'm just offering my help.
XENA: Iolaus is all the help I need.
HERCULES: Well, you know how I feel about him; he's the best.
XENA: That's why he's with me.
HERCULES: If it turns out that you do need me, I'll be there for you.
IOLAUS: Yeah, I know you will. But listen, I don't want you to get the wrong idea about Xena. She's worth whatever risk it takes.
HERCULES: Then you're lucky she's in your life.
XENA: Come on, Iolaus!
HERCULES: Good luck my friend


ACT 1, SCENE 8: ANNOTATION


XENA, I'M SORRY I FAILED YOU or aka THEODORUS REALLY IS DEAD MEAT, PART 2

[66] What a guy. He's loyal, concerned, cute, and doomed: just like Petracus' son (soon to be mentioned in Act 3, Scene 4) and what Xena anticipates for Iolaus. But the klutz, Theodorus, dies not by the hand of Hercules but by landing the wrong way on a rake. Ouch.

[67] Theodorus represents the backbone of Xena's army: naive men who are willing to sacrifice their morals and lives for a good-looking woman who treats them like dirt. It's a common theme for both sexes. When Theodorus is dying he shares with Hercules his love for Xena, and his disgust in himself for failing her by not killing Hercules (like he was expecting sympathy from Hercules?).

THE CODE OF XENA, PART 1 or XENA IS A REALLY TOUGH CHICK, PART 4

[68] "My commander says you attack from whatever side suits your purpose," said Theodorus before his unwelcome landing on a farm tool. Later on, Estrogon becomes a living, er, dying example of Xena's code. At this point, Xena comes off as a very despicable character. She terrorizes her own men, lames horses (she does it so efficiently in her second scene that it implies that this was not her first time doing so), she sends off her lovers to certain death, and now she's quoted as saying that winning is everything. This Xena is a far cry from the Xena of the THE GAUNTLET and UNCHAINED HEART.

HERCULES: UNBOUND

[69] Hercules sees the medallion! He listens to Theodorus' dying words! Hercules knows his mission! He must get Iolaus away from this evil gal.


ACT 1, SCENE 8:


[70] (Cut to the barn where THEODORUS throws a knife at Hercules.)
HERCULES: You know, a true warrior attacks from the front.
THEODORUS: My commander says you attack from whatever side suits your purpose.
HERCULES: So he's a coward too.
(Fight.)
HERCULES: You better try something else.
THEODORUS: With pleasure.
HERCULES: Me and my big mouth.
(Fight continues.)
HERCULES: Enjoy this while you can.
THEODORUS: I'm still enjoying it, Hercules. Disappointed? HERCULES: As a matter of fact, yes.
(THEODORUS falls on the rake and is dying.)
HERCULES: Why did you attack me?
THEODORUS: Love.
HERCULES: Whose love?
THEODORUS: Xena, I'm sorry I failed you.
HERCULES: Xena?
(He dies and Hercules removes Xena's medallion from his neck.)

BACK NEXT

Episode Guide Air Dates Encyclopedia   Xenaica Xena FAQ IAXS Membership Submission  Guidelines Back Issues