Whoosh! Issue 51 - December 2000

TOP TEN REASONS
YOU KNOW YOU ARE OVERLY OBSESSED WITH XENA

By Renée Sorrell
Content copyright (c) 2000 held by author
WHOOSH! Edition copyright (c) 2000 held by WHOOSH
501 words





But I can be back from the dance in time to fix you a late supper *and* give you a foot rub!  Can I go?!  Please?!  Oh, you're so mean!!

Xena and Gabrielle nest for a minute in KINDRED SPIRITS.


10. You start quoting XENA witticisms in normal conversation, complete with strange looks directed at your outburst.

Example 1: "That car horn sounded like a yak in labor!" [KINDRED SPIRITS (107/517)].
Example 2: You use the term "BGSB" on a regular basis and actually know what it stands for.

09. As your 300th piece of XENA memorabilia arrives via Internet shopping, your family automatically gives the "You are completely insane" disapproving facial expression, but they hand it over extremely carefully (lest they damage it in some way).

08. You suddenly have a strange fascination with dangerous weapons.

Example 3: "Yeah! My new knife throwing set finally arrived!"

07. The WHOOSH! website is your default home page.

06. You discuss the characters as if they are real people.

Example 4: "Can you believe that Gabrielle said that? She certainly is having some emotional problems lately".

05. At least one email address has something to do with being a Xena addict.

Example 5: Xenagal, Areslover, CallistoRulz, GabbyGuy@xenaddict.com etc.

04. XENA always finds its way into some normal conversation with ANYONE.

Example 6: "You know Xena had a similar problem the other day".

03. You are convinced that anyone who actually sat down and watched the show once would be automatically convinced of its greatness and your superior discrimination.

Note: This means you go through life carrying a videotape of your favorite episodes on the off chance that you can sucker some hapless friend (or stranger) into watching it.

Example 7: "It really is a great show. You know, I think I just happen to have some taped episodes with me".

02. Your non-Xenite friends often greet you with an "AAAIIIIYYYIIIIIYI," which they find very amusing.

And the Number One reason,

01. You start spending the wee hours of the morning composing articles, top ten lists, and episode reviews for the pure pleasure of it all.

Example 8: "Why sleep when there is so much XENA obsessing to be done?"



Biography

Sorrell Renée Sorrell
My full name is Heather Renée Sorrell. I live in the beautiful state of Virginia. I graduated from James Madison University with a degree in psychology and am now working diligently to save enough money for graduate school! My dream is to become a career student, but until then I will settle for a Counseling degree. My hobbies include: music, Victorian literature, and of course, XENA. Anyone wanting to discuss any of these things is more than welcome to drop me a line!


Favorite episodes: ONE AGAINST AN ARMY (59/313), MOTHERHOOD (112/522), and INTIMATE STRANGER (31/207)
Favorite line: Gabrielle: "I think you have me mistaken for a pet". HOOVES & HARLOTS (010/110)
First episode seen: MATERNAL INSTINCTS (57/311)
Least favorite episode: THE WAY (84/416)

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