Whoosh! Issue 71 - 
August 2002
Editor's Page

From the Editor-in-Chief:
In Memoriam

From the Editor-in-Chief:

I have the sad news to relay that Carol (Towandababe), an on-line friend, a steadfast & loyal Whoosh editor, and a regular participant on the Whoosh yahoogroups mailing list, passed on Wednesday, July 24, 2002. Carol requested that when the time came, that I post an eulogy for her by her friend Portia (PortiaOnly@aol.com), and here it is:

* * * * *

Carol asked me to write a eulogy about her so that it could be posted on Whoosh when that time came. Unfortunately, that time came far too early for me and the many of us who love her. Carol crossed over this evening (July 23 2002) around 5:15pm Mountain time.

I agreed to write this because she's my friend, but my first thought was no. My feelings for her are private and I wanted to guard them. But I reconsidered immediately because it was her request that I do it. And I love her, so I'll honor that. Of course, Carol approved this because if she was nothing else, she had a wonderfully controlling personality and insisted on approval.

After pondering what I might say, I realized that I want to tell people about her because her occasional and at one time frequent posts to the Whoosh list could not begin to describe the person.

I didn't meet Carol through Whoosh, but we did meet online via email. She sent me an email about a story I had written and I responded to her. I believe my response was a page or two long. I felt instantly bonded and knew I wanted to get to know her better. Very quickly, we started corresponding on a regular basis and learned a lot about each other. Within a couple of weeks, we had written each other more than a dozen times and were telling each other more about ourselves than we've ever told friends we saw on a daily basis.

Soon, we both wanted to hear the other's voice and exchanged phone numbers -- there's nothing like the sound of someone's voice to get a sense of who they are, no matter how eloquently they write emails.

I learned something new about her with each interaction -- she had been a "d-mn good" nurse, she rescued animals (often driving hours or days) to pick up dogs and place them in a safe and happy situation. She has two children whom she raised on her own and who love her dearly. She was a great friend who would walk through fire to come to your aid. If I had to make a list of friends I could count on when things were tough, Carol would be first and everyone else a distant second. She could be trusted with your secrets and she was a great listener. She didn't have a racist bone in her body. She was woman-centered, but could talk to any and every one. She had great hands and gave me a short but relaxing shoulder massage during the only time we actually saw each other in person. (I was doing something on the computer and she came up behind me, gave me a hug, told me how happy she was that we had finally met and rubbed my shoulders). Carol was the absolute best problem-solver. She had incredible business sense that was an invaluable asset to her family. She was thorough, yet polite. (That Midwest upbringing probably explained the politeness even when she should have been cursing people out). Carol had an incredible sense of humor, often self-deprecating. She could laugh at others, but she laughed hardest at herself. She made me laugh a lot.

Carol loved Xena. Whenever there would be a new acquisition of Xena memorabilia in her home, she'd call me to brag. I have a nice collection, but if she'd get something I didn't have, it would be a 20 minute discussion with her being a showboat and me whining. When she attended the Pasadena 2001 convention, she called me with frequent updates about the cast in attendance and the Whoosh members she met and really liked. She knew I craved details and details she gave me. She loved to talk about Xena. She loved the subtext of Xena. Sometimes we'd have two hour conversations on the phone about the love of Gabrielle and Xena. Or a 30 minute conversation about (given our choice for _______) would we choose Xena, Gabrielle, Lucy [Lawless], or Renee [O'Connor] and in which order. I won't give up her secrets.

She told me about the Whoosh list and encouraged me to join. She loved fan fiction and read a lot, but also wrote eight Xena and Gabrielle classic alternative stories:

Ground Rules
Gabrielle expresses her feelings for her warrior, with a little help from the Goddess of Love.

Afternoon Break
Xena and Gabrielle spend an afternoon break together.

A conversation between our bard and warrior without the use of names...Can you tell who is who?

Even As She Sleeps
No plot...no dialogue...no names...(yes there is love making)...Just go with it

Gabrielle's Dream
Our bard has been having some very interesting dreams about a certain blue-eyed warrior and they aren't going unnoticed.

Totally Grounded
A continuation of the tale "Ground Rules".

Afternoon Break/Part Deux
A continuation of a short break taken by our duo in a field in the afternoon sun and the evening that followed.

Visiting the In-Laws
Gabrielle runs into serious trouble in the small village she and her warrior stop while on their way to visit her parents.

She was my editor, beta reader and helper on several of my stories. She encouraged me all the time, constantly--to do what I love, have a good time, enjoy. She never took my bad moods, depression, or pissy attitudes personally and helped me through my own doubts and insecurities. My life is so much richer having had Carol in it. It is at this time that I look to Xena to get me through. "Life is eternal-it has no beginning and no end. The loving friends we meet on our journey return to us time after time. "We never die because we were never really born."--Gabrielle in Déjà vu All Over Again. I might not be able to talk to Carol on the phone or email her, but we will still and forever have our conversations.

In many of our conversations, I would call her an -ssh-l- or freakazoid or some other name just because she would try to get a rise out of me and it would always work. Then we'd laugh for five minutes. So I will end by saying since I know you can hear my thoughts--CAROL, YOU ARE A TOTAL CONTROL FREAK!!!

And, btw, I love you.

--Portia (PortiaOnly@aol.com)

* * * * *

Kym Masera Taborn
Executive Committee
Calabasas, CA
July 29, 2002

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