Whoosh! The Palace


Whoosh! Uber uber Alles


YOU KNOW YOU ARE AN ÜBER WHEN...


 
Last update: 11-13-99




... the bard says you are and Lunacy highly recommends that you should be if you aren't.

... the bard says you aren't and Lunacy highly recommends that you should be if you aren't.

... Judge Judy is mentioned more than five times.





You Know You're an ÜberXena When...

You Know You're an ÜberGabrielle When...

... you have to bend down to suck your partner's ear lobe while you're both doing the wild thang up against a wall.

... your smoldering blues bore into her very soul and into the wall behind her head. That's intense.

... your feral needs not only overwhelms her but the reader as well. That's more intense.

... your innate ability to look good in anything and nothing causes her to have spontaneous spiritual and physical epiphanies. That's most intense.

... your name is Zima, Alex, or Bob.

... your brother, father, uncle, best guy friend, country cousin twice removed, or dog died a horrible, untimely death due to unnatural causes with you as the prime suspect.

... after which, you went into primal scream therapy, or a murderous rampage, or the French Foreign Legion, or more deeply undercover.

... violence and mayhem follows you everywhere, including the bathroom.

... you're the sexiest cop, ex-cop, drug lord, ex-druglord, or firefighter to saunter into a bar.

... you've done the deed with everyone within a thousand mile radius.

... all the females in the room, regardless of sexual identity, want you, and want you bad.

... you decide to change your lifestyle, your future plans, and personality after meeting her.

... you fit perfectly under your partner's chin while humping her thigh.

... you meet her baby blues with your own sea-greens and your smile turns her into butter. Now that's intense.

... you discover new uses for butter under her tutelage.

... you act on a totally irrational urge to hang out and become one with an ex-homicidal maniac.

... you know she's bad news but she just looks too good in that leather number.

... your name is Rielle, Gabs, or Muffy.

... your childhood was perfectly normal: you had no friends and your parents never understood you.

... since you're smarter and more creative than your family, you were either left on the doorstep as a foundling, or your mom did the mailman who happens to be a Pulitzer Prize winner, or your genetic heritage came from the deep end of the gene pool.

... you're the sexiest photo journalist, pediatrician, or sex therapist to get picked up in a bar.

... you don't know what the deed is.

... you are a short professional with an exceptionally firm stomach.

... you decide to change your lifestyle, your future plans, and personality after meeting her.




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Copyright (c) 1999, Kym Masera Taborn, WHOOSH!


Welcome to Über über Alles, a website dedicated to the indexing of every single Über ever written or contemplated.

This site was originally created by the ÜberRoos Family July 3, 1999, but nationalized by WHOOSH! on November 13, 1999.




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