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“The Treasure of Zeus, Part I” Episode 01/101 [TEASER] Strife: [Yawns] Ares [Yells]: “Ya know? Being a god-- living in Olympus-- is no job for a weakling. Take me, for example. The god of war-- even I have to work hard.” Strife: “I’m tired of being a nobody, Ares. I mean-- ‘Strife-- the god of war’s nephew’-- I mean, what does it say to anybody? I mean, I’m ready for the big time. Why can’t I be, uh-- ‘Disaster’, or-- uh-- ‘Catastrophe’? OK, well that’s-- hard to spell.” Ares: “If ya wanna be a real god-- ya gotta prove yourself worthy! Ya gotta act like a god-- and make mortals suffer!” Strife: “Been there-- done that! I’m Strife. I’m bad!” Ares: “Try ‘Naughty’. If you were any good at being bad, you’d dare what no god has dared before-- destroy a mortal son of Zeus.” Strife: “Hmm-- a-ha! You mean, Hercules.” Ares: “My half-brother! Alcmene’s brat! The apple of my father’s all-seeing eye!” Strife [Whispers]: “Yeah.” Ares: “Hera wants him gone-- and so do I.” Strife: “Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Time out.” Ares: “Don’t get up.” Strife: “No god can destroy Hercules without being fried-- forever-- by Zeus. Am I right, or am I right?” Ares: “You’re half right. Obviously, we can’t attack him directly. But sometimes, a little strife can lead to a major-- catastrophe.” Strife [Chortles]: “Yeah. Hercules-- ” ----------------------------------------------------------------- Strife’s Voice: “Here I come.” H: “Ah. Ah. Ha-ha. Huh?” [Fight] Alcmene [Alc]: “Hercules.” H: “He attacked me, Ma. Iolaus.” I: “Hey.” H: “You been workin’ out?” I: “Hey, expect the unexpected. I was moppin’ the _floor_ with you till your _mom_ saved ya.” H: “Oh, really?” Alc: “How ‘bout mopping the floor-- with this.” H: “Bye. Hey, Iolaus.” I: “What?” H: “Expect the unexpected.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- [ACT I] I: “Ah-- you missed a spot-- huh?” H: “Oh, no you don’t.” [Back and forth banter] H: “Oh, really?” Alc: “Hercules?” H: “Yeah? Oh. Uh-huh?” Alc: “I’ve packed your things for the academy.” I: “I’ll go grab my stuff.” H: “Thanks. You know? There’s still a lot of work left to do. I could, uh--” Alc: “How do you think I get by when you’re off at the academy?” H: “I don’t know-- I know Zeus doesn’t help.” Alc: “Oh, Hercules-- I wish you weren’t so obsessed with your father. Since you were little, you’ve taken every dare-- no matter how dangerous or how foolish-- always trying to prove worthy of Zeus.” H: “That’s not true.” Alc: “Even though you’ve never met your father-- you can’t escape your birthright. But what you become-- that’s in your hands. Be a good man.” H: “Be nothing like Zeus.” Alc: “Hercules.” H: “Mom-- he abandoned you.” Alc: “He gave me the thing I treasure most-- you.” H: “Oh, uh-- ” Alc: “Now, get going, both of you, before I put you back to work.” H: “OK, huh.” Alc: “Take care, Hercules.” H: “Goodbye.” Alc: “Bye.” I: “Bye, Alcmene. Thanks for everything. ‘Mommy! Bye, Mommy! I’ll miss you, Mommy!’” ----------------------------------------------------------------- H’s Voice: “Last decent meal before Cheiron and his academy food.” Jason [Ja]: “Hercules, Iolaus.” H: “Jason!” I: “Hey!” H: “Looking good. How’re things in Corinth?” Ja: “Ah, same old, same old. How’s your mom?” H: “She’s OK.” Ja: “Hey-- you been workin’ out?” I: “Yeah, just enough to kick your royal backside.” Ja: “Yeah? You and who else?” I: “Hey, is that new? It looks like fine Corinthian leather-- almost fit for a-- king.” H: “Hey-- does it come with a matching crown?” Ja: “Knock it off, knock it off. That’s what I like about Cheiron’s academy. There, I’m just a student; I’m not a prince.” Woman: “Did I hear that right? You some kind of prince?” Ja: “Uh, yeah. Yeah, actually, I’m gonna be the _king_ of Corinth.” H and I: “Just another student.” H: “Right.” Ja: “Maybe, if you’re ever _in_ Corinth, you could drop by and I could show you the palace.” Woman: “Gee, a palace? Uh! I think I might faint! Now, are you two archdukes gonna order, or are you waiting for the king’s leftovers?” H and I: “Uh-- ” I: “We’ll have what he’s havin’ and, put all three on my-- bill.” Woman: “Mm-hmm, looks empty. No dinars-- no dinner.” Ja: “That’s OK. That’s OK. I’m-- buyin’.” I: “Um-- I’m really tight with the owner here. He-- always gives me credit.” Woman: “Nice try, curly. I’m the owner.” Man’s Voice: “Get ready. Here comes Strife.” H: “Tuition’s due this week. How you gonna pay for it if you’re broke?” I: “Uh, who says I’m broke?” Strife-as-NG: “Not so rough, guys.” H: “Uh-- why don’t you keep your hooves to yourself?” Satyr: “What’re _you_ gonna do about it?” Strife-as-NG: “Please-- no violence. We’re all humans, here-- more or less.” I: “If I were you, I’d be out of the way.” Man’s Voice: “Academy punks.” Woman: “Hold it right there! You kiddies wanna play-- you take it outside. If I want things broken around here, I’ll hire a dishwasher.” Satyr’s Voice: “Yeah-- like they know how to fight.” Woman: “Looks like I’m gonna have to put up a sign-- ‘No shirt, no feet-- no service.’” Strife-as-NG: “Hey, thanks for standing up for me.” H: “No problem. Listen-- what’s your name?” Strife-as-NG: “Ny-- Nysus Gaius. I’m, uh-- headin’ off to Cheiron’s academy. I’m gonna be the new top student there.” Ja: “Really?” H: “That’s great. You wanna come sit down?” Strife-as-NG: “Surely.” H: “Let’s go.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- H: “You know what the hardest part of the academy is?” Strife-as-NG: “What?” H: “The ground.” Strife-as-NG: “What?” [Yells] H: “Nysus-- say hello to Cheiron-- our headmaster.” Strife-as-NG: “Oh-- hi, sir.” Cheiron: “I didn’t recognize you. I see you’re showing the new cadet the ropes. I hope you’re being gentle with him.” H: “As gentle as if you were teaching him yourself, sir.” Cheiron: “The tree that grows on the stoniest ground has the strongest roots.” Strife-as-NG: “And my uncle said _I_ was hard to understand. Does he always talk in roots?” H: “Yep.” Strife: “Uh.” H: “You’ll get used to it. Come on. Let’s try that drill again.” Strife-as-NG: “Yeah-- yeah-- my uncle’s the reason why I’m here. He used to tell me about this place-- and the academy? And a cave-- up on the mountain.” H: “What cave?” Strife-as-NG: “Ah-- it’s nothing famous. They got a chalice there-- made by Zeus himself.” Cheiron: “Watch your footwork, Hercules!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- H: “Uh-- hey, hey, Nysus. Ah-- how you doin’? Good. Listen, um-- I was just wondering-- you know that chalice you were telling me about? The one in the cave? Did you say that Zeus made it?” Strife-as-NG: “Wedding present for Hera. But they say he wants it back, now that they don’t see much of each other.” H: “Oh-- well, uh, if he wants it back, why doesn’t he just take it?” Strife-as-NG: “Well, maybe he promised not to. Even Zeus has to keep his word. [Chuckles] All this fuss over an ugly old cup she probably never even used.” [Chuckles] H: “Yeah-- you know? She probably never even used it, anyway, right?” Strife-as-NG: “Yeah. Ha.” H: “Thanks, Nysus.” Strife-as-NG: “OK.” [Chuckles] Ares’ Voice: “Strife.” Ares: “Is my dear brother hooked?” Strife: “Like a little fish, Uncle-- ready for Hera to fry.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- [ACT II] I: “A-ha! Uh, I’ve gotta quit doing that.” Ja: “If Cheiron catches you sneakin’ out after curfew, he’ll kick your rear-- and he can really kick.” I: “I bet he’s sneakin’ off to see that girl at the inn.” Ja: “She liked me more than him.” H [Interrupting]: “Guys-- she didn’t like any of us-- all right?” I: “Hmm.” Ja: “Good point. Well, if you’re not goin’ to the inn-- where are you going?” I: “Yeah, there’s nowhere else to go around here.” H: “There’s a cave. It’s up in the mountains. There’s a treasure hidden inside it.” I: “The old treasure-in-the-cave story. Come on.” H: “It’s dangerous, OK? And I don’t wanna get you both hurt.” I: “He’s tryin’ to get rid of us.” Ja: “Keep all the glory for himself.” I: “Oh, I don’t care about the glory. I just want the treasure. Hey, uh-- Herc-- so-- what’re we talkin’ about here? Is it gold? Silver?” H: “It’s a chalice.” I: “A chalice?” Ja: “A goblet. A drinking cup.” I: “Thank you, Jason. I know what a chalice is. I mean, is it gold?” H: “Well-- I don’t really know what it’s made of, you know? All I know is that, uh-- it belongs to Zeus.” I: “Whoa. Hold it. Time out. You’re gonna snag a chalice that belongs to Zeus? Is this one of those-- father-son things?” H: “No. Listen, it’s not like that this time. I’m not takin’ it _from_ Zeus-- I’m takin’ it back to him.” Ja: “We’re gonna spend all night, climbing a mountain, so you can get a pat on the back from your dad?” H: “I didn’t ask you two to come, and I can do this on my own.” I: “All right, all right-- we’ll come with you. But-- if there’s anything in the chalice-- like gold-- we split it three ways.” H: “Two ways-- all I want is the chalice.” Ja: “One way-- I’m just comin’ along to keep you jerks out of trouble.” I: “Oh-- I love you guys.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- I’s Voice : “Where are the guards protecting this thing?” Ja’s Voice: “You figure, a chalice that belongs to the king of the gods would be protected.” Ja: “There’s no one around here.” I: “Yeah, how hard can it be?” Ja: “Really?” H: “Ask him.” I: “Uh-- just in case.” Ja: “Just in case-- uh.” H: “Uh, uh-- I’m just gonna-- excuse me.” I: “So-- what kind of cave is this, anyway? Are there slimy things in it? ‘Cause I really hate those slimy things that live in caves.” H: “Whoa. Whoa. Come on. Get down. Get down.” Ja: “What?” H: “I think it’s a Phoenix Cave.” I: “Well, how do you know?” H: “Well-- there’s a Phoenix sitting on top of it.”” I: “That thing’s twenty feet tall.” H: “Yeah-- it-it’s probably just a statue to scare people away, huh?” I: “You sure?” H: “Well-- no.” Ja: “There’s only one way to find out.” Ja and H: “One-- two-- three.” I: “Hey, sounds like wood.” Ja: “Oh-- you think so?” H: “Come on. Let’s do it.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- H: “Whoa, whoa. Well-- it’s a booby trap.” I: “Eh, it looks easy enough.” Ja: “All right-- let’s think about this.” H: “Iolaus!” I: “See?” H: “Iolaus-- don’t let go.” Ja: “You never listen, do ya? I just got done saying that we need to think about this, and then you go-- ” H [Interrupting]: “Hey-- hey, Jason! Talk about bad timing.” I: “Thanks for the lecture, Jason.” Ja: “You never listen.” I: “You know, I might be falling-- ” Ja: “You deserve it!” H [Interrupting}: “Hey, hey, hey! Shh!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- Boys: “The chalice.” “Cool.” “Zeus does nice work.” Ja: “Look out!” H: “Thanks.” I: “What do you think’s in it?” H: “I don’t know. It could be a trap.” I: “Oh, uh-- you have a look, then.” H: “OK. It looks like water.” Ja: “Maybe the cave leaks.” I: “Ah-- let me see that. You telling me I came all this way for a drink of water?” Ja: “Hey, I think, uh-- I think we should get out of here.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- I: “Remember that time when they served us beans in the dining hall for a whole week straight?” Ja: “We had a blast.” [They laugh.] ----------------------------------------------------------------- H: “Everybody’ll be in the training hall by now.” I: “Great, I missed breakfast-- all for this dumb cup.” H: “Iolaus! Iolaus!” I: “Hey, Herc! You gonna do something, or what?!” H: “What do you think I’m tryin’ to do?!” I: “Whoooooooaaaaa! Thanks, Jase. Herc! Hang on!” H: “Oh, like I have a choice?!” Strife: “Oh-ho-ho. Have a nice fli-ight.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- [to be continued]
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