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GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN
Joxer comes up two boots short.
[26] Boots! fifty dinars a pair...that makes Xena's request in BLACK WOLF equal to 10,050 dinars...what a hard bargainer! JOXER This is it? When you said 'weapons,' I was thinking a blacksmith's shop. XENA No, for this job, we need something special. Keep quiet, and don't step on any graves. JOXER Dryad, dry-- What's a dryad? XENA Sworn enemies of Bacchus. A dryad bone through the heart is the only way to kill a Bacchae. GABRIELLE Do we have to dig them up? XENA Not exactly. JOXER Well, they're not gonna jump out at us. [Laughs] Whoa! Whoa! [Screams] GABRIELLE Joxer! JOXER Help, Xena! Help me! They're pulling me under! I can't breathe! I can't breathe! [Screams] Pull! Pull! Horrible animals! Ooh, and monsters! [Joxer is extricated] Oh, that was close. He took my boots! They cost me fifty dinars! GABRIELLE Great. JOXER Stupid, good-for-nothing, bag of bone!. GABRIELLE (pointing to the sky) What is it?! XENA That's a dryad. [They fight the dryads] GABRIELLE Watch it, Joxer! JOXER All right, Xena! Do something! ORPHEUS [Screams a lot] Thanks. JOXER Go on and run! You coward! Hah-hah! Wow! These dryad bones are really sharp as nails. No wonder they can kill a Bacchae. Hey-- Are you afraid-- of this? XENA Should I be? JOXER No.[27] In TEN LITTLE WARLORDS (32/208) [first released 11/18/96], Gabrielle gets stuck in the middle of a fishcake war.
TEN LITTLE WARLORDS
So how much for the lobster?
[28] Fishcakes: your choice -- six, ten or twelve for a dinar! WOMAN 1 Fishcakes, fishcakes, lovely fishcakes. Six for a dinar, six for a dinar. Fishcakes, lovely fishcakes-- lovely fishcakes, dearie, six for a dinar. GABRIELLE Fishcakes? WOMAN 1 Would you like one? GABRIELLE Oh, I'd-- WOMAN 1 They're really good. MAN 1 They're good, but a little bony. Mine are scrumptious, and ten per dinar. GABRIELLE Ten. WOMAN 1 Twelve per dinar, dearie. GABRIELLE Twelve. WOMAN 1 His are as chewy as seaweed. MAN 1 Hey, she's my cust-- WOMAN 1 She's my customer. GABRIELLE I wanna fishcake! LADY: No, they're mine! GABRIELLE Lady, I was here first! WOMAN 2 Ahh! Put me down! Ah! Ahh! MAN 2 I ordered the lobster! GABRIELLE Where's my fishcake?! All right, where's my bargain?! XENA (in Callisto's body) Who started this? More warlords? GABRIELLE No, them. MAN 1 Callisto! Spare us! We don't want any trouble! GABRIELLE Her? Huh! Forget about her! Me, on the other hand. Why, I-- XENA Gabrielle. GABRIELLE Ah! Xena, let me go, I can stop 'em. XENA You can't stop everyone-- come on.[29] SOLSTICE CAROL (33/209) [first released 12/09/96] reveals many things about the value of a dinar, including: the reasonable amount to be spent on a companion's Solstice gift, the property tax in pre-Mycenaen times, and the cost of a four-legged sidekick.
SOLSTICE CAROL
Xena and Gabrielle briefly attempt shopping.
[30] Five dinars appears to be a reasonable value for a Solstice Day gift, especially for two gals on the road! But wait! There's more. GABRIELLE Now, no spying. And if one of us sees the other shopping in a stall, then she turns and walks the other way-- agreed? XENA Yeah. GABRIELLE No peeking into other peoples' bags, too. I mean, being surprised is half the fun-- right? XENA Right. GABRIELLE Ah, nothing can cost more than five dinars. XENA Then why don't I just give you five dinars, and you can buy something that you really like? GABRIELLE Because, then it wouldn't be a gift. (kid runs by Xena and takes her chakram) Hey! What was that about? XENA He stole my chakram. I'll meet you out back.
[31] There you have it: property taxes on an orphanage is 1,000 dinars. It is not given how often the taxing period is; we will assume annual in this case. But what about livestock you ask? How much dinars for a beast of burden? MELANA Children, children. Settle down. SENTICLES (entering) By order of King Silvus, be it known you have until midnight tonight to pay taxes in the amount of 1,000 dinars or face eviction. SOLDIER 1 No wait, look around. They're violating the prohibition. I say, arrest them now! XENA Ayiyiyiyiyiyiyi! Gabrielle! GABRIELLE I didn't know you did gift- wrapping. XENA What did he mean, 'violating the prohibition'? The children were just enjoying Solstice. MELANA Yes, but here, celebrating the winter solstice is a crime, and, anyone who gets caught can expect to pay a price.
[32] A beast of burden on the way to the tannery is ranged at twenty-five to fifty, to an agreed-upon thirty-five. MAN (to Tobias, the donkey) You stubborn *ss! You've been nothing but trouble the entire time we've been together. Now, move! GABRIELLE Excuse me, sir. That's quite an animal you've got there. MAN You want him? He's yours. Fifty dinars. GABRIELLE Fifty? MAN That's what the tannery will give me for his hide. GABRIELLE You're taking him to be skinned? Look-- How `bout I do you a favor? I'll take him off your hands for say, ah, twenty-five dinars? MAN Twenty-five? That's half of what he's worth at the tannery. GABRIELLE Yeah, well you have to get him there first, right? MAN Hmm, forty-five. GABRIELLE Thirty -- Not a dinar more. Let's face it. I've seen healthier hides on a used couch-- Nothing personal. What do you say? MAN Thirty-five, and you got yourself a deal.[33] An overall implication in SOLSTICE CAROL is that Xena has her own stash of cash. Many fans (especially the ones who have time to burn) often ponder whether Gabrielle and Xena share the checking account or have separate ones...food for thought!
[34] In DESTINY (36/212) [first aired 01/27/97] we find out about ransom schedules.
DESTINY
Caesar, Julius Caesar, fetches a pretty dinar. For a moment.
[35] What are the ransom schedules? 10,000 for a Roman noble man, and 100,000 for Da Caesar. Remember, Meleager's bounty was 50,000. It is actually starting to make sense. It also makes one wonder how much Xena's bounty was in LOST MARINER (45/222). TELLUS Get going! You hungry? Ah, what's the matter? You not hungry? [Laughs] JULIUS CAESAR I generally don't eat food touched by a pig. You have a woman's touch. TELLUS So, you not afraid of a beating, huh? You afraid to die? CAESAR A brave man dies only once. A man like you-- dies a thousand times. TELLUS All right, brave man-- your one time is now! XENA Tellus-- look at him-- the robes; the bearing, the poise. Why, we have a Roman nobleman-- a valuable commodity. TELLUS What are you talking about? CAESAR Ransom-- she's talking about ransom, pig. XENA That's right, we can get 20,000 dinars for him. CAESAR 20,000 isn't enough. XENA Oh, really? CAESAR They'll never believe you have me, if that's all you're asking. I'm worth five times that. XENA Very well. But if you're wrong, it's your neck. Lyserius-- send out a ransom demand to the nearest Roman settlement. Tell them to send 100,000 dinars if they ever want to see-- what's your name? CAESAR Caesar, Julius Caesar. XENA Caesar, Julius Caesar, again. You really weren't afraid to die, were you? CAESAR I knew someone would stop him. XENA And, how could you know that? CAESAR I know what I'm fated to do with my life. XENA And what's that? CAESAR Rule the world. LYSERIUS Let's go, Roman.[36] THE QUEST (37/213) [first released 02/03/97] offers a dinaric expression while keeping mute about any real information about a dinar's value in the Xenaverse.
THE QUEST
But he paid for an hour -- however many dinars *that* cost.
[37] "In for a dinar, in for a kingdom..." What a quaint expression. AMAZON Come on, get in there! GABRIELLE Autolycus? AUTOLYCUS Ooh! Ooh! Ah, ah, ow. No, no, no, no-- ah, it's broke-- broke-- broke. It's broken. GABRIELLE Okay-- Uh, Ephiny, I need a-- splint. AMAZON Gabrielle-- she's got it. She's got the dagger. And, she's going after the ambrosia. EPHINY That's it then. We lost. Now she'll become a god. GABRIELLE She hasn't won yet-- not as long as there's one person who can stand up to her. EPHINY And what can we do? GABRIELLE Ephiny, we can't give up. Don't you see that? Autolycus, can you get us out of this jail? AUTOLYCUS Well, my lockpick's in my other shirt. If only I had just a small-- sort of um--. Would you put that hand right there? And that hand there? Now, don't worry-- this is business, not pleasure. Well-- mostly business. Huh-ha-ha. Hold it. GABRIELLE Hey! Hey, lady. AMAZON What do you want? GABRIELLE Come here-- come here. I want to tell you this! Ephiny! Go down river. Find Xena's sarcophagus. Bring it to the Hall of Ambrosia. AUTOLYCUS Here's a map. I can find my way without it. GABRIELLE Sorry. AUTOLYCUS Well, in for a dinar, in for a kingdom. Besides, I've got a little something to settle with that Amazonian-- uh-- female.[38] A NECESSARY EVIL (38/214) [first released 02/10/97] gives us an ancient Greek admission price.
A NECESSARY EVIL
Only two males were in the cast of A NECESSARY EVIL -- Artemis temple extras that Velasca dusted.
[39] One dinar gets you in the temple! No "E" tickets for Artemis...her temple is way too classy. SOLDIER 1 Come on, let's go-- for the hunt. SOLDIER 2 A dinar donation for the goddess, Artemis. VELASCA What do you care of Artemis? She's the goddess of the Amazons. SOLDIER 2 Hey, what are you doing?! VELASCA I don't need you. (kills SOLDIER 2) But you-- remember what you see here. Remember that you met Velasca, the god of Chaos. Remember what she did and said-- in the temple of the Amazon goddess. (SOLDIER 1 runs away) Artemis, you fake! Where were you when our nation died?! Where were you when the many Amazon tribes were scattered and destroyed?! Where were you when the word 'Amazon' became a joke told by old men in taverns?! I was once your subject. Now, I'm your equal-- and your enemy! (kills SOLDIER 1) He wouldn't have told it right, anyway.[40] BLIND FAITH (42/218) [first released 04/14/97] actually documents Gabrielle shopping in a market place. There she has several close encounters with dinars.
BLIND FAITH
Gabrielle snacks as she and Xena debate the finer points of shopping.
[41] Gabrielle feels it is okay to "squander a couple of dinars", and that means that the barding and hero business must be doing well. This scene also implies that Xena has her own stash, as she does not ask Gabrielle for cash, but just heads off to the tavern to eat, and, no doubt, have one of those expensive ports. More evidence of separate... accounts? XENA Good, there's a tavern. I'm hungry. GABRIELLE Hey! I've got an idea. Let's shop. XENA What do we need? GABRIELLE No, not that kind of shop. Shop, shop. You know, browsing, haggling, getting a deal. XENA A deal on what? GABRIELLE Ah, who knows? See, that's the fun part. WOMAN'S VOICE That's outrageous! GABRIELLE Something completely frivolous. Xena, come on, let's squander a couple of dinars. XENA Hey. GABRIELLE Okay, I can see it's not your thing. XENA Look, if you wanna browse, haggle, and squander, go ahead. I'll meet you in the tavern. GABRIELLE Hmmm.[42] In the very next scene, Gabrielle gets down to some haggling business.
[42] Gabrielle, before being kidnaped and sold to someone, does an excellent job of haggling the price of a scarf from five dinars to two. GABRIELLE Uh. How much for this piece of scrap? VENDOR That finely-woven Egyptian prayer scarf is five dinars. GABRIELLE You've gotta be kidding. VENDOR I suppose I could knock a dinar off the price for you. GABRIELLE Yeah, why don't you? Some fool might come by who wants to throw away four dinars. VENDOR I can go as low as three dinars-- but, that's firm. GABRIELLE Well, you know, I guess I could use it to wipe the sweat off my horse. One dinar. VENDOR Two, and you have a deal, Okay? GABRIELLE Okay, Okay. VENDOR Thank you.
Summary
[43] So ends the dinar references in the first two seasons of XWP. What follows is a quick reference guide to all dinaric mentions and transactions made in the first two seasons.Enjoy!
Item Price Episode < /tr>6 fishcakes 1 dinar [TLW] 10 fishcakes 1 dinar [TLW] 12 fishcakes 1 dinar [TLW] donation to Artemis temple 1 dinar [ANE] squandering a couple of dinars [BF] bracelet a few dinars [UH] real food some dinars [W...P] "good faith" some dinars [RN] drink at tavern 2 dinars [PNT] Egyptian prayer scarf 2-5 dinars (variable) [BF] Solstice Day gift up to 5 dinars [SC] Mt. Olympus curio 5 dinars [PRO] Aphrodite's shell part 5 dinars [PRO] milk and port 6 dinars [CoH] donkey 35 dinars [SC] Joxer's boots 50 dinars [GJWHF] Property tax, orphanage 1,000 dinars [SC] assassination 5,000 dinars [FoD] assassin bonus 5,000 dinars [FoD] problem solving 10,000 dinars & pair of boots [BW] roman noble man ransom 20,000 dinars [Destiny] bounty on Meleager 50,000 dinars [PROD] Caesarian ransom 100,000 dinars [Destiny] high rent castles multi-millions of dinars [RCoT] Acknowledgments
Dedication: To Deb E. McGhee for her inspiration.Acknowledgment: I would like to thank Carmen Carter, Deb E McGhee (she gets around), and Shelly Sullivan for their assistance in finally taking a cold, hard look at what XWP has stated about dinars.
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Biography
Kym Masera Taborn
Kym is a 39-year-old attorney who has become strangely attracted to a television show called Xena: Warrior Princess. She also publishes and edits two media fandom publications: Whoosh! and Xena MEDIA REVIEW. She has amassed a husband, a son, a house in the suburbs, and a Xena tape collection to die for.
Favorite episode: DREAMWORKER (03/103). The episode from which everything else flows.
Favorite line: Gabrielle to Xena: "You're not much for girl talk, are you? Of course, you're not like most girls." PROMETHEUS (08/108); Xena to Gabrielle: "I dunno. You just seem...bigger." DREAMWORKER (03/103).
First episode seen: CRADLE OF HOPE (04/104)
Least favorite episode: QUILL IS MIGHTIER (56/310)