[17] PART II: FOOD & DRINK

Texans and armadillos love food

BARD-B-QUE: Chili goats wrapped in grape leaves. Consumption of Bard-B-Que can result in severe gabtroenteritis for the uninitiated.

BARDONNAY: A medium-bodied white wine. The best vintages are produced from grapes that have been crushed by Gabrielle's face during minor skirmishes with insalubrious women.

CAFE GABRIELLE: Famous coffeehouse/gathering place for bards, who can spend an entire evening with one cup of Gabbuccino or Gabbe' au lait while discussing the finer points of Euripides.

CLEARLY GABRIELLIAN: Salmoneus' fizzy water with Gab-berry* favoring. (*Gab-berry: similarly to the cranberry, and like the cranberry must be harvested in water.)

GABARONI & CHEESE: Emergency road rations consisting of one part cheese and three parts conversation. Example: Xena groaned inwardly as she watched Gabrielle prepare dinner: gabaroni & cheese for the third night this week!

GABERNET: A lovely Greek wine without retzina that starts out as a blush wine--similar to a white zinfandel (nouveau gabernet) and ages in the bottle to a dark red (similar to a cabernet sauvingnon). Note Gab's hair coloring (does she, or doesn't she?).

GAB-FIRE CHICKEN: Chicken cooked over an open fire, without Lila's 17 secret herbs and spices.

GABMARINE SANDWICHES: Any sandwich consisting of day-old bread and cheese.

GABOCHA LATTE: This is for all caffeine addicted Gab 'n Xena fans. Described as a mocha latte with a touch of Henbane. Mocha because one needs the extra caffeine from the chocolate.

GABONZO BEANS -- High protein legume meals to help sculpt those Gabs of Steel.

GABOUILLABAISE: Poteidaian fast food. Usually anything that comes with a side order of nachos and a margarita.

GABRI-ALE: An amber-colored alcoholic beverage brewed from yeast and hops, served on tap in Poteidaia.

GABRIKA: A spice used (in a pinch) when the henbane is all gone.

GABSINTHE: A green liqueur having a bitter anise or licorice flavor. Production of Gabsinthe is now prohibited in many countries because of its tendency to inspire very long stories.

GABSPACHO: More road food. A soup served cold because the campfire was smothered by miscellaneous thugs thrown on top of the flames during an attack at suppertime.

GUMMI BARDS: What we have always suspected Gabrielle really carries in that purse of hers. Well, that and a Xena PEZ dispenser.

HENBANE-LACED NUTBREAD: Served with Gabbuccino at the Cafe Gabrielle; known for its ability to bring a non-believer one step closer to the Higher Power.

MULIGABTAWNY STEW: A hearty, hot dish for those cold nights on the road.

ROCAMOLE: Avocado-based salad that should be on the menu at Threadgill's restaurant in Austin.

SHOCK RUM CAKE: Be careful how you slice it!

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