Whoosh! Knowing there was only only room for one diva in Pine Valley, Michael had to get rid of Erica fast
Michael shows his true
colors when he attacks Erica


Lena Kundera
on
ALL MY CHILDREN

May 26, 2003


043
(Lena mentioning)
030526
Last update: 11/28/03


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PLAYERS
SYNOPSIS
RE-CAPS
ALL GAY RE-CAP
PARODY
QUOTES
TRANSCRIPT
CLIPS



PLAYERS


Erica Kane
Michael Cambias
Kendall Hart
(no Lena)




SYNOPSIS

Adam asks Michael to join Chandler Enterprises; Erica refers to Lena as "that Polish whore"; Michael attempts to rape Erica (no Lena)



RE-CAPS:

From The Official Site at ABC.com:
http://abc.go.com/daytime/allmychildren/episodes/2003-04/20030523.html

No Lena mention

From About All My Children
http://allmychildren.about.com/cs/recaps/a/bl20030523r.htm

Erica asks what he expected—he went after her family! She reiterates, “You sicced that Polish whore on Bianca...

From Soap Slut
http://pub18.ezboard.com/fsoapslutfrm16.showMessage?topicID=80.topic

No Lena mention




ALL GAY RE-CAP

This all gay recap is by C.K..
Read all the All Gay Re-caps at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheAllGayRecap/.

TODAY ON AMC: No Bianca and no Lena, but still a recap because - well, you'll see.

  • Erica has a few chosen words.
  • Michael reaches Bastard Nirvana.
  • Greenlee chooses the wrong window.
  • Erica throws things.
  • Kendall wants to be the hero of her own life.
  • Bette Midler sings of wind. Beneath her wings.
  • Kendall has good timing.
  • Erica and Kendall move on. Maybe.

Erica's Office - Michael was bailed out by Adam (don't ask because I don't know) and arrives at Enchantment just in time to catch Erica when no security is around and whines that she has embarrassed him.

Erica: "What did you expect Michael? You went after my family, you sicced [or sicked, if you prefer the more modern take on the word, which I do not] that Polish whore on Bianca, you turned Kendall into a love-sick fool, you tried to raid my corporation, you tried to steal my exclusive products: I can't think of enough ways to humiliate you, Michael."

Yeah, what she said! And surprisingly well, except for Polish and whore. Do penance and say three Hail Lenas and five Our Kunderas: Lena was a tramp, but only in this recap and only because it's funny – and not out of your mouth, Erica.

Michael: "You'd better think of a way to stop or I'm gonna find a way to make you."

This is where I roll my eyes because, come on, we all know where this is going to go. I can't decide if I want to get cranky because it's so trite and predictable or if I want to think there is a point to making Michael get to the lowest possible human common denominator.

Erica: "Is there anything less manly than a sore loser?"
Michael: "I almost had you. This close!"


U-huh. I don't think so. You were never anywhere near there.

Erica: "Michael, you were so clearly outmatched, outsmarted, outmaneuvered."

Erica flails her arms and flips her hair. And dreams of being the Ultimate Survivor.

Michael: "All you did Erica was turn my father against me. Big deal."
Erica: " Yeah, that would be you Michael. I mean, all your macho posturing. Why, you were so busy beating your chest claiming to be the king that you couldn't even hear Kendall, Bianca and me laughing and sneaking up behind you. Actually, I think you should discuss your problem with a shrink."
Michael: "What problem is that Erica?"
Erica: "Premature congratulations."


Oh, the hilarity! I can't take it. *wiping tear away*

Michael thinks Erica is basking in victory a little too soon: fat lady has not sung yet.

And she never will, 'cause I don't think there are any fat-anythings on soaps.

Erica tells him to crawl back to his father and beg for forgiveness. Michael picks up a, what? That's a round glassy thingy, but it's not a snow-globe.

I hope it's not a perfume bottle, because it's hideous and murky, like the glass you find on beaches after it's oxidized. Why am I talking about that glass mini ball anyway?

Michael: "I am the son of Alexander Cambias."
Erica: "You are the wrong son. Your late brother Alex, he was the golden boy. You're nothing but a pretender, you're just a wanna-be, a pretender to your father's throne."
Michael: "Oh, you feel sorry for him, do you? Isn't that funny 'cause you're just like him: too full of yourself to shut your mouth and take your win like a lady."
Erica: "Excuse me? Take my win like a lady? What planet are you living on, what century are you living in?"


Erica! Where did you hide MS. magazine? Sister, you are awn! Now, kick his ass.

Michael: "The one where a woman knew her place."

OK, now AMC is really trying to kill me: a disgusting misogynist pig with skunk-hair who just ate all the rules of grammar, chop, chop! Michael, I wonder if beavers would take you in or make you the entrance point of their newest dyke. I mean, dam. By the way, did you know that a beaver is also a piece of armor attached to a helmet or breastplate to protect the mouth and chin?

Erica: "Where would that be?"
Michael: "You'd better back off or I will show you."


Micky, you are such garbage: I look at you and I get immediate indigestion.

Erica: "Oh, you: stop whining. My father abandoned me, too, but I used that pain to become one of the most successful women in the world. I built my cosmetics empire from nothing! You on the other hand, you were just handed everything on a silver platter and what do you do? You lie and you cheat and you steal. And then, then you come whining to me, the woman you stole from, looking for somebody to blame? Why don't you just look in the mirror, Michael, and don't you even think about coming after me or my family ever again. Now, you get out."

Huh, AMC gave Erica good lines today. Anyway, Michael doesn't move, so Erica tries to call for the security dude, who is now gone.

Let me understand this - though I don't know why I even want to - there is one, one security officer in the entire building? What? My brain is hurting.

Erica tries to call 911, but Michael rips the phone away; she throws a large, glassy something at him, which he avoids. Michael, because he's a progressive, modern man, says that Erica has been on top for much too long and he has other plans in mind.

I could try to figure this out, but this allegory is like a riddle and I simply cannot. Feh.


Elsewhere - Today, Greenlee has chosen to wear drapes: just thought you should know. That e-mail guy, Carlos, serenades her in a bar. Yeah. He's not that bad, so why didn't he sing at the Daytime Emmy Awards the other week? My windows would all be fine now if it had been him instead of all the others who did.


Erica's Office - Erica is still throwing things at Michael; while that looks awfully hilarious, knowing where this might be going is making this scene prickle with a certain kind of disturbing anticipation.

Erica knows where this is going, too, so she tries to bargain with Michael, but he's too stupid to see a good thing when it's offered and chooses to mock her instead. Big man, Michael. Erica tries to make a run for it, but fails. Michael says she has raped his reputation and that he intends to pay her back for it and that she will now feel his pain.

And here we are: Michael at the peak of Disgusting Nirvana. He's such a little man. No, not a little man: scum. He utters a barrage of putrid lines like "I know you've wanted me since the first day" and "you're going to take it lying down like a lady" and "gimme me a kiss," while Erica tells him he's sick and needs help.

Michael throws Erica on the couch, face down, takes off his belt and is about to unbutton his pants when something is smashed onto his back: Kendall has arrived and I have never been so glad to see her and those brain-stunting sunken-in eyes.

Kendall uses Michael's belt to tie him up while he's unconscious. Erica does the "I'm fine" dance and worries about the mess in the office. Yeah, she's not dealing with the attempted rape.

Kendall: "I can't believe this."
Erica: "I know, I know: it's such a mess. There is a broom and a mop and a bucket in the utility closet. Would you mind, would you mind just starting to clean up and - and be careful of the broken glass. I'll call the police."
Kendall: "He tried...he tried to rape you."
Erica: "Oh, but he didn't. He didn't. Nothing happened, so I think it's best just to forget this and move on."


Erica asks Kendall to call Jack and then stands by her desk, spacing out. Kendall walks closer to her.

Kendall: "Mother, it's all right, you can let go. It's ok, you're not alone. I'm here, it's safe to let go."

And Erica does, and embraces Kendall while she cries. And so does Kendall. But not me, d***it! No, really. But it was awfully moving.


TOMORROW ON AMC: Lena and Bianca are still A.W.O.L.; Kendall tells Erica she needs to deal with the attempted rape.





PARODY

This parody is by LizzieT.

No Lena parts today

Over at Wildwind, Edmund swept Maria up in his arms and carried her up the staircase.
Edmund: :::gasp:::Maria, I want you. But I think we should talk first.:::gasp:::
Maria: I know. You saw the engagement ring Aidan gave me.
Edmund: Not really. I just need to rest for a while. I'm not as young as I used to be.
Maria: I think Aidan knows its over between us. He looked so sad when he left. Even his spotted dick was depressed.
Edmund: It's so good to have you back.
Maria: It must have been awful for you when I was dead. How did you cope?
Edmund: I did the best I could but it was tough. First I had a lot of scenes with TKFP.
Maria: :::shudder::::
Edmund: Then I had to propose to Alex wearing a donkey suit.
Maria: :::gag::::
Edmund: I had a pretty good thing going with Brooke for a while but I should have known it wasn't meant to be when they interrupted my proposal for a press conference about the judging scandal in pairs figure skating.
Maria: Oh, the Canadian's were so robbed! I'm glad they got that straightened out.
Edmund: Then you came back and you didn't even remember me.
Maria: I know. It was awful. I'd get my scripts and think "Why are they doing this to me? This isn't what I came back to soaps for."
Edmund: But you're truly back now. And I think I'm rested up enough.
Maria: Good! It will be so nice to make love to someone away from those open blinds at the Pine Cone.

Aidan and Kendall reconnected at the Valley Inn bar.
Kendall: Where's Maureen?
Aidan: She's gawt er memory back. Aven't yew been watching?
Kendall: I've been kind of busy. So where does that leave you?
Aidan: Oi don't know. Me storyloin seems to be over. Oi ope they don't decoid Oi'm not needed ere anymore. Ow ave yew been?
Kendall: Erica and I were getting along great for a while. But she blew me off tonight to do an interview with Jan Brady. I guess she only used me for a while and then tossed me aside.
Aidan: Loik she does with most of er ex usbands?
Kendall: That's true. Maybe she cares about me after all.
Aidan: Whoi don't yew go see er? Oi think she moit need yew roit now.

At Enchantment things were too intense for me to recap. Just let me say that after calling Michael a slug for the last several weeks I owe an apology to all the slugs of the world.
Slug: We've been meaning to speak to you about that.

Greenlee and Carlos are still at the gallery.
Carlos: You don't know who I am. You think I'm a writer and an artist but I'm not.
Greenlee: Well, I know you're not an actor. So who are you?
Carlos: I'm just Carlos.
Greenlee: But you're such a poorly defined character that doesn't mean anything.
Carlos: Let me take you somewhere that will show you who I am.
Greenlee: This is a sleazy bar.
Carlos: But after hours the bikers and hookers leave and the working people come.
Greenlee: The bikers and hookers go home at 9:00?
Carlos: These are my people. They hired a lot of extras today to prove that I'm an interesting character with my own set of friends.
Extra 1: Hey Greenlee, I loved you with Leo.
Extra 2: I preferred you with Jake myself.
Extra 1: Who on earth did you p*** off among TPTB to get stuck in this storyline?
Extra 3: Here, take this shot of tequila. You'll need it.
Greenlee: Why?
Extra 3: He's about to sing.
Greenlee: Just hand me the bottle.
Carlos: It's time for my song. (To the tune of My Way)
And now the end is near
Our storyline is going no where
My acting stinks,
Chemistry sucks
The audience has said they don't care.
The fans, they don't like me
And they have said, not in a shy way
That I should pack my things
And hit the hiiiiighway.



QUOTES

Erica: Who in their right mind sprung you from jail?

Erica: Well, what did you expect, Michael? You went after my family. You sicced that Polish whore on Bianca. You turned Kendall into a love sick fool. You tried to raid my corporation. You tried to steal my exclusive products. So I can't think of enough ways to humiliate you, Michael.

Erica: Actually I think that you should discuss your problem with a shrink.
Michael: And what problem is that Erica?
Erica: Pre-mature congratulation.

Michael: Oh, you feel sorry for him, do you? Isn't that funny because you're just like him. Too full of yourself to just shut your mouth and take your win like a lady.
Erica: Excuse me? Take my win like a lady?
Michael: Yeah
Erica: What planet are you living on? What century are you from?

Erica: Oh, will you stop whining. You know, my father abandoned me too, but I used that pain -- I used that pain to become one of the most successful women in the world. I built my cosmetics empire from nothing. You, on the otherhand -- you, were just handed everything on a silver platter. And what do you do? You lie, and you cheat, and you steal, and then -- then you come whining to me, the woman you stole from, looking for somebody to blame? Well, why don't you just look in the mirror, Michael. And don't you even think of ever coming after me or my family ever again. Now, you get out.



TRANSCRIPT

Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a) [An angry Michael visits Erica at Enchantment at night; Erica calls Lena a "Polish whore" (no Lena)]

[amc0526a starts]

[At Enchantment; Erica is at the office alone in the evening and Michael Cambias enters her office
Erica: Who in their right mind sprung you from jail?
Michael: Oh, what do you care?
Erica: Well, your father's disowned you and Kendall, even on her worst day, isn't this misguided.
Michael: Yeah, well the point is I got out. Just in time I might add, to see you try and humiliate me on the evening news. Imagine that, the fabulous Erica Kane taking time out of her busy schedule to show me up on a live exclusive.
Erica: Well, what did you expect, Michael? You went after my family. You sicced that Polish whore on Bianca. You turned Kendall into a love sick fool. You tried to raid my corporation. You tried to steal my exclusive products. So I can't think of enough ways to humiliate you, Michael.
[Michael slams the door shut loudly]
Michael: Well, you better think of a way to stop or I am going to find a way to make you.

***** (clip b) [Erica and Michael's argument gets more heated (no Lena)]

[amc030526b starts]
Michael: Aw, I almost had you, this close. This close!
Erica: Ah, you? Michael, you were so clearly out-matched, out-smarted, out-maneuvred --
Michael: Oh, really all you did Erica was turn my father against me. Big deal.
Erica: Yeah, that'd be you, Michael. I mean, all your -- your macho posturing. while you were so busy beating your chest claiming to be the king, you couldn't even hear Kendall and Bianca and me laughing and sneaking up behind you.
Michael: Hmpf
Erica: Actually I think that you should discuss your problem with a shrink.
Michael: And what problem is that Erica?
Erica: Pre-mature congratulation.
[Michael laughs]
Michael: Ah, you think you've won. This is far from over.
Erica: Why not you just swallow your loss like a man. Compensate for your failings by showing a little dignity and while you're on your knees, crawl back to your father and beg for his forgiveness.
Michael: You know what? I'll let you win this round. But this is far from over. If you think I am just going to roll over and let you and your screwed up daughters have the best of me, you got another thing coming.
Erica: There is no best of you.
Michael: I am the son of Alexander Cambias.
Erica: You are the wrong son.
Michael: Ah.
Erica: Your late brother Alex, he was the golden boy. You? You're nothing but a pretender. You are just a wannabe, a pretender to your father's throne. Boy, do I feel sorry for him.
Michael: Oh, you feel sorry for him, do you? Isn't that funny because you're just like him. Too full of yourself to just shut your mouth and take your win like a lady.
Erica: Excuse me? Take my win like a lady?
Michael: Yeah
Erica: What planet are you living on? What century are you from?
Michael: The one where a woman knew her place.
Erica: And where would that be?
Michael: You better back off or I will show you.

***** (clip c) [Michael tells Erica they are alone and he rips out her phone (no Lena)]

[amc030526c starts]
Michael: Well, I'm not going to let you use me as your little whipping boy
Erica: Oh, will you stop whining. You know, my father abandoned me too, but I used that pain -- I used that pain to become one of the most successful women in the world. I built my cosmetics empire from nothing. You, on the otherhand -- you, were just handed everything on a silver platter. And what do you do? You lie, and you cheat, and you steal, and then -- then you come whining to me, the woman you stole from, looking for somebody to blame? Well, why don't you just look in the mirror, Michael. And don't you even think of ever coming after me or my family ever again. Now, you get out.
[Erica picks up the phone]
Erica: Security? Hello?
Michael: The guard's not there.
Erica: Of course he's there. He's always there.
Michael: Tah-dah
[Michael shows Erica a cell phone and puts it to his ear]
Michael: Mr. McRoody, I'm calling from the Pine Vlley Hospital's ER. I'm afraid there's been a terrible accident involving your wife. You'd better hurry.
[Michael puts the cellphone away]
Michael: The poor sap left here like a bat out of h***. So you see, we're all alone in this big empty building. What do you feel like doing?
Erica; I'm calling 911.
Michael: I don't think so.
[Michael pulls the phone cord out and tosses the phone set across the room; erica throws a vase at Michael and he jumps out of the way]
Michael: Oh-oh, you've been on top for way too long. I have another plan in mind.

***** (clip d) [Michael tells Erica she's going to feel his pain now (no Lena)]

[amc030526d starts]
Erica: [throwing pencils at Michael] Don't you dare come near me. I'll scream.
Michael: Go ahead. Shout your bloody head off. No one's going to hear you. Watch ya going to do?
Erica: I'm warning you. You back off.
Michael: What are you going to do, Erica? Huh? [He picks up a letter opener] Gonna stab me with this, huh? Is that what you gonna do?
Erica: If you leave now --
Michael: Oh, what? Why, now you want to negoitiate a deal, huh? You want to, uh, make a little deal with me now?
Erica: You don't know what you're doing.
Michael: Oh, Erica. I am paying you back for everything that you did to me. That's what I'm doing.
Erica: No, it's what you did to yourself
[Erica makes a break for the door but Michael catches her]
Michael: I don't think so, Erica. I didn't summon my father to Pine Valley, you did that. You raped my reputation in front of an audience. You did that.
Erica: You stay the h*** away from me.
[Erica runs to the closet, and tries to close the door; Michael blocks it and laughs]
Michael: Okay, you're not going to have anymore laughs at my expense. You understand that Erica? You're going to feel my pain now.

***** (clip e) [Kendall knocks out Michael before he rapes Erica (no Lena)]

[amc052603e starts]
Erica: Michael. You're sick, Michael.
Michael: You like it rough.
erica: You need help, Michael.
Michael: You like it rough, uh? I know you do [he pushes open the door and grabs Erica by her hair; she screams] Come on. [muttering; Erica screaming] Come here. [He throws her prone on the couch and he gets behind her]. You're going to take it lying down, huh?
Erica: Help me.
[Michael turns her around facing him]
MIchael: You're oging to be lying down like a lady? [Michael takes his belt off; erica screaming] Come here. Come here. [He ties her hands with his belt]. You're going to pay for that now. He then goes towards here and the couch covers what he is doing.]
[A hand with a bottle comes off camera and hits michael on the head with it. Michael passes out. Erica pushes him off her. We find it is Kendall who knocked Michael out.]

***** (clip f) [Erica goes into denial about the attempted rape (no Lena)]

[amc030526f starts]
Kendall: Are you okay? I had no idea Michael was out of jail. Did he hurt you? Erica? Here, let me help you. Erica?
Erica: Oh no, Kendall. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm gine.
Kendall: I can't believe this.
Erica: I know. I know. It's such a mess. there is a broom and a mop and a bucket in the utility closet. Would you mind -- would you mind just starting to clean up here? And be careful of the broken glass. And I'll call the police.
Kendall: He tried -- he tried to rape you.
Erica: Oh, but he didn't. He didn't. Nothing happened. So, I think it is best to forget this and move on.

***** (clip g) [Kendall comforts Erica (no Lena)]

[amc030526g starts]
Erica: Kendall, would you please call Jack on your cellphone?
Kendall: Mother, it's all right. You can let go. It's okay. You're not alone. I'm here. It's safe to let go.
[Erica hugs Kendall]
Kendall: It's going to be all right, mother. Everything's going to be all right.



CLIPS

I have the following clips (incompletes are marked "inc"):
amc030526a.mpg (7.8m; 0:46) An angry Michael visits Erica at Enchantment at night; Erica calls Lena a "Polish whore" (no Lena)
amc030526b.mpg (20.8; 2:02) Erica and Michael's argument gets more heated (no Lena)
amc030526c.mpg (16.2m; 1:35) Michael tells Erica they are alone and he rips out her phone (no Lena)
amc030526d.mpg (12.1m; 1:11) Michael tells Erica she's going to feel his pain now (no Lena)
amc030526e.mpg (9.6m; 0:56) Kendall knocks out Michael before he rapes Erica (no Lena)
amc030526f.mpg (9.7m; 0:57) Erica goes into denial about the attempted rape (no Lena)
amc030526g.mpg (10.8m; 1:03) Kendall comforts Erica (no Lena)

The above described clips can also be found on my shared folder on AIM (http://www.aim.com to download). My user name on AIM is kymtaborn. E-mail me with your AIM user name (ktaborn@lightspeed.net) and I will give you access to the shared folder. When you have access, you can right click my user name on your buddy list and then click on get file. That should get you into the shared folder. If you have problems, then tweak your firewall. The downloads are slow because it has to go through the AIM filter AND often there are a lot of people downloading along with you. I apologize for the slow speed but this is the only way that I can distribute the clips at this time.

I am eliciting volunteers to host the clips throughout the web. If you have 5-25megs of space you can lend to this project, please let me know!



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