Whoosh! ....
Looks like she's still in Poland

Lena Kundera

June 14, 2004

(Lena mention)
Last update: 07/01/04

Previous Episode |AMC Guide |Episode Guide |Next Episode



Bianca refers to her frustration being in Pine Valley and Lena in Poland to Simone and Greenlee. Simone finds out that Lena is Polish.


From The Official Site at ABC.com:

No mention.

From About All My Children

No mention

From Soap Slut

No mention


This all gay recap is by C.K..
Read all the All Gay Re-caps at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheAllGayRecap/.


  • Liza hits the deck.
  • Krystal is a biblical reference away from her very own index.
  • Erica’s dream comes with an all-you-can-drink buffet.
  • Simone’s love star is in retrograde.
  • NOTE: The recaps will end at the end of the month. AMC is far too boring and I just can’t bring myself to continue: even the delightful prospect of endless Maggie/journey snark can’t keep me interested enough though, if Ryan were to die, I might be persuaded to write A Very Special Recap to mark the occasion. I’m not quite sure what the future of the AGR will be; clearly, some restructuring is in order, but I’ve not yet made any decisions. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel…

The Set-Up – At Fusion, it’s medication vs. medication.

In Las Vegas, Zach keeps on listening to Ryan and Kendall’s conversation. Oh, another deep, dark non-secret no one cares about: wonderful.

Fusion – Greenlee and Bianca actually work: please wait while I check the temperature in hell.

Bianca: "Wow, Enchantment and Fusion working together."

Enchantment, the forgotten company that doesn’t seem to even have a titular head? Apparently, it runs itself.

Danielle: "I wanted to say goodbye. I’m going to New York to live – for good. […] Like I was trying to explain to Einstein here, this is ‘goodbye’ for real. Capital ‘g,’ capital ‘b.’"

If Einstein were there, he’d tell you that spells ‘Great Britain,’ not ‘goodbye.’ And stop teasing us with promises to leave forever: that’s just cruel.

BJ’s – Greenlee and Bianca talk about their girlfriend, Kendall, and agree that she’s a nut job.

Bianca: "I just wish that everyone could go to their neutral corners and agree to take a breather."

It’s only when you spew Kate Millet’s crap that I remember you’re a lesbian and then I immediately wish you weren’t.

Las Vegas – In Erica’s suite, Zach brings Kendall some food: a string bean, a pea and diet water.

In the hospital, Ryan locates Erica by following her screams and finds her undergoing detox; as soon as he sees her, her gets her out of the restraints and out of bed.

Please oh please don’t turn around, Erica: I don’t think I could take it.

Erica is grateful Ryan found her, but she doesn’t want to go back to Pine Valley because it’s not fun to be scrutinized by those who know you best.

Erica: "No one has to worry about me because I’ve been living the life that, actually, I’ve always dreamed of."

Which dream was it again, the one about the over-the-hill showgirl waiting for her hip replacement surgery or the one about rapid detox?

Erica: "You know what? Take me somewhere and I will tell you about swinging from the moon over drinks."

You just won’t let the moon humping go, will you?

Erica: "Everyone has let me down, everyone has betrayed me. Everyone but you. You’re all that I have left."

Actually, that’s not true: Ryan kept the VolderSecret from you, too: some of us remember that and are not falling for McT’s latest retcon. That aside, how fucking sad for you to have to rely on Prince Grab’NDrag: a hungry croc would have better manners.

Back in Erica’s suite, Kendall and Zach continue to bore me.

Zach: "People come to Vegas to escape their past and to live their dreams."

If everything that happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, why do I have to watch every painful second of it?

The Last Scenes – In J.R.’s box of crayons, Babe’s hat walks into the office and introduces itself to Dr. Bob’s hair.

At Fusion, Simone, Greenlee and Bianca eat around their love lives.

Simone: "My love life is always in retrograde: who else?
Bianca: "Me."
Greenlee: "I thought you and Lena were still – "
Bianca: "Oh, yeah: we are of course, but it’s kind of difficult with her in Poland."

Hey, it could be worse: she could be in a house with no doors and no privacy for those phone calls – if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

TOMORROW ON ALL MY CHILDREN: Tad has a proposal for Liza; Ryan’s brother is in town; Zach and Ryan vie for Erica; Kendall and Erica talk.


This parody is by LizzieT.

Reggie and Danielle showed up at Enchantment.
Reggie: This girl keeps following me around. I wish she'd leave me alone.
Danielle: I'll be leaving you alone soon. I'm going to live with my mother.
Bianca: You've been written out already? You sure didn't last long.
Greenlee: I thought Mia was the one being written out. Has anyone seen her lately? She may already be gone.
Danielle: I'll miss you Reggie.
Reggie: I'll miss you too. You were my first chance at a teen romance since Joanie was written out. I wonder what ever happened to her? Oh well, let's shake on it
Greenlee: Shake on it? What about a kiss?
Bianca: Right. Even Lena and I got a farewell kiss.
Danielle: All right. But it's a little awkward kissing you with half of your family watching.
Greenlee: Sorry. But this is the closest this show has gotten to romance in a while and we don't want to miss it.
Reggie: I can't believe she's gone.
Greenlee: It's for the best Reggie. Danielle was a little drama queen. Everything was all about her, her, her. I can't stand people like that.

Derek found boxes at his house.
Derek: What is all this?
Livia: Mimi left it here. She's giving Danielle to you. She says she doesn't have time for her tantrums.
Danielle: So my mother doesn't want me. Abandonment by a parent......I could be the next Erica.
Derek: Me? What am I going to do with her? I have to bungle all the criminal investigations in Pine Valley. I don't have time for a teenager.
Danielle: So. Neither one of my parents want me......I could be the next Greenlee. Just as long as Jack doesn't turn out to be my long lost father too . I'm still hoping for a teen romance with Reggie.

Back at Enchantment Greenlee wasn't happy.
Bianca: Why don't you just call Ryan?
Greenlee: Why would I do that? I'm not worried about Ryan
Simone: Look at this ad that Kendall approved.
Greenlee: I hate it! And it's my company so Kendall can just live with my decision! It's my company do you hear me - mine! mine! mine!
Bianca: Sounds like Greenlee=Cranky. You'd better call Ryan. Of course if he's in bed with Kendall that probably won't improve your mood. Maybe you shouldn't take my advice. I may be a saint but I haven't had much luck in the relationship department.
Newbie: Hello. I'm a newbie.
Greenlee: If you're the newbie who's playing Babe's father you're on the wrong set. You're supposed to be over at Chandler Enterprises.
Newbie: I'm not him. I'm a newbie that's looking for Ryan Lavery.
Simone: Ryan's not here. If you're a leper in need of healing just leave your name and I'm sure he'll get back to you.

Zach listened to Kendall and Ryan talk in Vegas.
Extra: What are they talking about?
Zach: Same old same old.
Extra: Did they say anything about Lavery's marriage not being real?
Zach: I'm not sure. I switched over to TVLand to watch an old Petticoat Junction rerun.

In the suite....
Ryan: Excuse me while I answer the phone:::::She is?:::::She isn't.:::::She did?:::::She didn't:::::I'll be right there.
Kendall: What was that about?
Ryan: Nothing you need to know about. Just leave everything to me. I'm leaving now::::Here I come to save the day!::::
Zach: Hello Kendall. I've come to tell you how much your mother missed you.
Kendall: I thought you didn't know she was my mother.
Zach: I lied.
Kendall: Why am I not surprised? Have I ever met a guy that I can trust? Because I have some real trust issues you know.
Zach: I've noticed. Your mother talked about your relationship with Ryan. She hoped even though he married someone else that you were still in the picture.
Kendall: Why are we talking about this?
Zach: I don't know. First the showgirl stuff, then talking to you about the Greenlee/Ryan/Kendall triangle. Frankly I had hoped for more interesting stuff. How do you think a vampire storyline would go over?

Ryan found Erica in a hospital.
Erica: Let me out of here!
Ryan: Erica! Why are you tied up like this? Do they think you'll hurt yourself?
Erica: I don't know. I just told the nurses that I was going to put my blonde wig back on and they put me in these restraints. Help me Ryan. You're the only one I can trust. The only one who never betrayed me.
Ryan: Of course I am. But are you sure you don't need to be in the hospital?
Erica: I can't stay here. It's where my father died. He's still here you know - shuffling his cards and waiting for me to die. I guess it could be worse. He could be dragging some big celestial roulette wheel around with him and try to spin me into eternity.
Ryan: :You need to come home Erica. There are so many people rooting for you.
Erica: I don't believe that. I've seen the message boards. I can't go back home. I'm just not up for a big emotional confrontation with anyone.
Kendall: Hello mother. Care for a big emotional confrontation?

Chaos broke out at Chandler Enterprises.
Tad: Is this newbie Babe's father?
Krystal: Yes he is .
Ron: Come on. I was in the top ten finalists maybe.
Krystal: This man is the scum of the earth and the chicken of the sea.
Ron: Look. I didn't want to get stuck with you and your kid but I'm not that bad. At least I never switched DNA results and kept a young woman from knowing her child is still alive.
Krystal: Rats. My self righteous tirades never have any impact.
Liza: Excuse me people - I'm the one who's hurt here. Call an ambulance.
Ron: I think you'll be fine. And if you're not, didn't I read where you're being written out?
Liza: No exit date has been announced. I need medical attention.
Babe: What's going on here?
Miranda: Looks like the skanky test switcher tried to kill Liza. She must be trying to win over the Angry Villagers. I'm not falling for it.
Babe: Hello. I don't think we've met. I'm Krystal's daughter Babe. And this is my daughter Bess.
Miranda: That's Miranda to you Mr. Newbie. Don't get any ideas about playing the devoted grandfather even though I'm irresistable.
Babe: I was looking for JR. I have some new pictures of Bess to show him. My little girl just loves the camera, don't you Peanut?
Miranda: The camera loves me too - and don't call me Peanut.
Krstal: Let's take Bess to the park.
Miranda: The park? I want to see Tad tell Liza off. That should be a classic. The park is dull. No one even goes to the boathouse anymore. And this humidity is awful on my hair.


Unverified in non-clip parts

Clip A

Simone: You know, why don't men eat when they have love-life problems?
Bianca: I have no idea.
Simone: No.
Bianca: I don't use food for comfort any longer.
Simone: Ah, that's good. You're really good.
Bianca: Are you having man trouble?
Simone: No. That's the problem.
Bianca: Hmm. The love stars must be in retrograde.
Greenlee: Where's that research that --
Simone: My love life's always in retrograde. I mean, who else?
Bianca: Me.
Greenlee: I thought you and Lena were still --
Bianca: Oh, yeah, we are, of course, but it's kind of difficult with her in Poland. Her mother's doing better.
Simone: Oh, well, that's good. She's Polish? You know, Poland's a lot worse than Vegas.
Greenlee: Can we get some work done around here?
Simone: I thought that talking about men was part of the job description -- and women, too.
Singer: But I guess I want what's best for you
Greenlee: Where did you disappear to before, anyway?
Simone: Dentist appointment, remember?
Greenlee: Guess you didn't get drilled.
Simone: Ha-ha. No cavities, if that's what you're asking. And come to think of it, Dr. Fesswinkle did compliment my molars. Yeah. He's single and he has the softest hands. I would have the nicest teeth for the rest of my life.
Greenlee: Hey, smiley, enough of this singles bar chitchat. Your love life's a mess. We got it. Now, can we just get back to work so we can stay on schedule?
Simone: You know what? I finished the changes that Kendall wanted to the trade ad before I left, thank you very much. I'll go get them and show you.
Bianca: Why don't you chew on a fingernail, instead of chewing out Simone?
Greenlee: This isn't camp. She can't just come and go as she pleases.
Bianca: It's driving you crazy, isn't it?
Greenlee: I'm just trying to run a successful business here.
Bianca: Why don't you just call him? If you don't do it, I will.
Greenlee: Well, I'll call to get an update on Erica. But it has nothing to do with Kendall.
Bianca: Of course.
Greenlee: Hi, Ryan. It's -- it's me. I'm just checking in. I hope you got there ok. Nothing important on this end. Just -- I don't know. Call me when you can. Bye. What do you think he's doing?
Bianca: Not what you think he's doing.
Simone: Ok, what's the word? Give me "sensational," "groovy," "fabu." Whatever you say, I'll agree.
Greenlee: Nauseating.
Simone: What? How can you say that? This is exactly what Kendall was asking for.
Greenlee: Well, Kendall can't have everything she wants, can she? Do you even see her here? No! And you want to know why? She's in Vegas with my husband. So listen up -- I own this company, and we do things my way, not Kendall's. You got it?
Man: Excuse me. Hi.
Simone: Can I help you?
Man: Are you in charge?
Simone: Yeah --
Greenlee: I am. What can I do for you?
Man: I'm looking for Ryan Lavery.
Greenlee: Join the club.

Previous Episode |AMC Guide |Episode Guide |Next Episode

Guide Table of ContentsBack to Whoosh!