PROMO TRANSCRIPTION
IT'S A ONE-OF-A-KIND ONCE-UPON-A-TIME
[Xena magically gets a dress. Gabrielle is a fairy with wing.]
A FAR-OUT FAIRY TALE ABOUT A WANNA-BE PRINCE
[Joxer dances. Xena is a fairy.]
AND A PRINCESS WHO'S JUST THE RIGHT FIT
Joxer: Would you care to try it on?
[A big ugly foot. Joxer screams.]
COMING NEXT WEEK
ON AN ALL NEW XENA--
(Xena magically changes into Tyrella.)
IT'S A ONE-OF-A-KIND ONCE-UPON-A-TIME--
(Gabrielle [as Harmonia] moves in a circle.)
Gabrielle [as Tyrella]: I'm so excited!
(Zantar in drag [as Sidero], and Xena [as Tyrella], Gabrielle [as
Harmonia], and Joxer [as Prince] look shocked.
A FAR OUT FAIRY TALE ABOUT A WICKED STEPMOTHER--
Alesia: You're evil.
Aphrodite: Dear child, do these features look evil?!
A WANNA-BE PRINCE--
(Joxer [as Tyro] dances.)
(Joxer tries to show his martial arts skills.)
Joxer: W-kah!
(Xena hisses at Joxer.)
AND A PRINCESS--
(Joxer [as Tyro] drops Gabrielle [as Princess].)
Gabrielle [as Princess]: Wait! Wait!
(Joxer [as Tyro] runs off with fallen pants.)
Gabrielle [as Princess]: My shoe!
Xena [as Sidero]: Get over it!
WHO'S JUST THE RIGHT FIT.
Joxer [as Prince]: Would you care to try it on?
(Xena [as Sidero], presents a big, ugly foot.)
(Joxer screams.)
AN ALL NEW--
Aphrodite: What a riot!
XENA!
TV GUIDE PROMO
Gabrielle, Xena, Joxer and Aphrodite use storytelling to help a runaway princess realize the importance of home
Through imaginative storytelling, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer and Aphrodite help the young
runaway Princess Alesia realize there's no place like home.
Storytellers Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer and Aphrodite educate a runaway
princess.
Xena and Aphrodite vie to be "Fairy Godsmother" to a little girl who has run away from home, but Aphrodite doesn't fight fair.
The runaway princess Alesia must be returned home, but she is afraid of her new stepmother. As Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, and Aphrodite all try to help get the girl back home, they tell contrasting stories about a young girl and her evil stepmother and
stepsisters, and the eventual happy ending that she will find at the prince’s ball. Yes, this is indeed a Xena-take on the Cinderella story. [from Mania.com]
AIRING AND RATING INFORMATION
1st RELEASE: 01-25-99
An AA average of 4.3
Competition from Syndicated Action Dramas:
(1) (13) XFiles 5.1
(2) (15) ER 4.6
(3) (18) Xena/Hercules 4.3
(4) Star Trek Deep Space Nine 3.6
(5) Stargate 3.0
(6) Crow/Outer Limits 2.5
(7) Earth Final Conflict 2.4
(8) Nightman/Mortal Kombat 2.3
2nd RELEASE: 06-14-99
An AA average of 3.5
Competition from Syndicated Action Dramas:
(1) (11) XFiles 4.4
(2) (13) ER 3.9
(3) (18) Xena 3.5
(4) (21) Walker Texas Ranger 3.4
(5) (24) Hercules 3.2
SYNOPSIS:
This synopsis is by Bluesong.
Gabrielle takes a shower, using a pot with holes in it, which allows the water
to drain on her. She doesn't wake Xena, and this frustrates the Warrior
Princess when she does wake up. Xena talks to herself and the sleeping Joxer
about a warlord named Zantar that she wants to catch. Gabrielle's top
disappears from the bush while she baths. Xena attacks Zantar and catches
him. She returns to camp with him, to find Gabrielle wearing a sack because
Xena has stolen her top and used it to tie up Zantar. Xena throws water on
Joxer to wake him. The three, with the captive warlord, travel past a temple;
there is an explosion.
They run into the temple to find Aphrodite fussing at someone. The child
hears Xena's name, and runs to her. Her name is Alicia, and Xena knows her
parents (royalty). Alicia says that Aphrodite is an evil fairy gods mother.
Alicia leaves with Xena.
Xena tries to talk to the girl, and tells her she had a step father and didn't
appreciate him. Gabrielle is rather confused about this, since it's the first
she's heard of it. Xena brushes her off and leaves to go beat up the
warlord's men, who are tailing them. She tells Gabrielle to tell Alicia a
story.
Gabrielle begins the story of Tyronella, who keeps a cheerful face despite her
evil step-mother and step-sister. The story, illustrated by parties on the
show, has (in this version), Xena as the step-mother and Gabrielle as
Tyronella. The step-mother has really ugly, big feet.
Back at the temple, Aphrodite has a conversation with herself. She decides
she misses Alicia and wants her back.
Gabrielle begins the story again, and Aphrodite interrupts. She tells the
story, with herself as the way cool step-mom, Xena as the vampy step-sister,
and Gabrielle as Tyronella, but way ugly. Xena interrupts that story.
Aphrodite visits the warlord's men, and tells them she'll help them out if
they'll get the girl back for her.
At camp, Joxer takes up the story while Xena goes to beat up the warlord's
men, except the hero in Joxer's story is "Tyrone" who wants to be a prince.
Xena is the fairy gods mother, and she sends him to the royal party with
instructions to be home when the sand runs out of his "watch". At the party,
he spies a beautiful girl (Gabrielle) and they dance. Then Tyrone (Joxer)
does a disco. Then Tyrone (Joxer) and the girl sing a duet. Tyrone's watch
runs out of sand, and he dashes away with the girl's slipper.
Xena returns to find that Alicia has run off while Joxer is telling the story
and Gabrielle is cooking. Xena and Gabrielle argue because Xena says it's
Gabrielle's fault Alicia is gone, because Gabrielle was left in charge. Xena
goes to look for Alicia. Aphrodite, disguised as an old woman, tricks
Gabrielle into leaving the camp. Aphrodite and Zantar the warlord talk. Xena
searches for Alicia, who hangs on a vine over a cliff. Xena saves her and
they return to camp to find Joxer tied up and the warlord gone.
Xena takes up the fairy tale. Her Tyronella uses a sword and isn't scared of
anyone, evil step-mothers included. Joxer the Prince shows up with the
slipper. Tyronella (Xena) says she doesn't need anyone to make a happy
ending. Then her "fairy gods sister" shows up, and Tyronella tells her she
doesn't need her, so she can just do the dishes.
Gabrielle interrupts the story. She is angry because all Xena thinks is that
Gabrielle is the "fairy gods sister of dishes" and not useful. Gabrielle
storms off, saying she's had enough and she isn't coming back. "This isn't
going to have a happy ending, is it?" Alicia asks.
Xena takes Alicia to her parents, who are tied up in the castle because the
warlord is robbing them. She frees them and then locks the step-mother Queen
and Alicia in a room so they can talk. Gabrielle goes to see Aphrodite, and
tells her to leave Alicia alone. Xena tells Joxer to stay at the castle in
case Zantar the warlord returns. Alicia and her step-mother Queen talk.
Xena fights Zantar's men. Gabrielle shows up and helps her out. Xena
finishes the story (it's all interspersed; Tyronella and Xena beating people
up). Back at the castle again, Aphrodite tells Alicia that her step-mother
Queen loves her. Xena and Gabrielle talk. Gabrielle says she came back
because Xena said they were family.
COMMENTARY 1:
Commentary Beth Gaynor.
This episode may be the most direct attempt at another "Day
in the Life" that I've seen yet. Running jokes thread
through the episode, Xena and Gabrielle are bickeringly
cutely with each other (and taking potshots at Joxer along
the way), and... well, ONE of them hits the water, anyways.
This episode has a strong dash of the farce side in it, too,
with the goofball costumes and storylines of the ongoing
tale to Alesia mixing it up with the real events. It was
crazed, it was bizarre, it made very little sense, and I was
chuckling my way through most of it. Hey, it worked for me.
Now THERE'S an opening sequence that'll stop channel-surfers
in their tracks. Gabrielle, what fine back muscles you have!
All the better to shower with, my dear!
The big question of the episode: Is this the end of the
Bilious Green Sports Bra? Or will it make as speedy a
comeback as Xena's whip did after A Day in the Life?
Speaking of the BGSB, it looks like we have the reason for
Gabrielle's ever-shrinking clothing; Gab doesn't stop
whittling at her new top for the entire episode. First the
sack shows off more shoulder, then cleavage, then leg, and
then... yes! The abs are back! Gabrielle must be getting
quicker with her tailoring: it took her two and a half
seasons to do that much with her last outfit.
I must state it for the record: this plot made NO sense.
First the bad guys were after their leader/brother Zantar.
Then they were after the kid for Aphrodite (who couldn't
grab her herself, goddess-that-she-is?). Then they were
after the crown jewels, and Zantar was after the kid. Which
was forgotten almost immediately. To use an Aphrodite-ism,
WHAT-ever. Just go back to the dueling Cinderella stories so
I can hear the bad guys scream in drag.
Nice strike-a-pose from Aphrodite with her question "Do
these features look evil?" Raise your hand if you think
she's referring to her face. Anyone? Anyone?
What's up with Xena's story about a stepfather? Check out
her eyeroll when she tells Gabrielle she's trying to help
Alesia; methinks the warrior princess is winging it.
Argo continues to be a horse of many skills! "Head for the
river and make sure they see you"? Wow, that horse
understands a pretty complex set of commands.
I got a kick out of each character's versions of the
Cinderella story.
Gabrielle: Positive enlightenment
Aphrodite: 70s go-go sexpot
Xena: Mega-empowerment
Joxer: Loser-boy-dream-come-true (which, sadly
enough, is closest to the real thing)
Listen to the line Gabrielle gives to Tyrella about how the
wicked stepmother's "mistreatment of me AND MY BELONGINGS is
your way of avoiding intimacy." Still getting your digs in
on the Warrior Princess, Gab?
Xena gets a dance to the Go-Go-Gabby music! And is it just
me, or was her dance a near-duplicate of the one Lucy
Lawless did for the bailiff in the Saturday Night Live Judge
Judy skit?
Insult piled upon insult! Poor Gabrielle is NOT having a
good day. First her shirt is stolen by a "fashionable
beaver," only to find out it's being used as a gag rag by
Xena. Then her staff is also abducted to tie up the bad guy.
She dives from a tree (why WAS she so eager to scout ahead,
anyway?). She gets charged with baby-sitting duty, then fish
frying, then chastised by both Xena AND Joxer when Alesia
wanders away from Joxer's story and Aphrodite disguises
herself. And finally is relegated to helium-sucking fairy
godsister dishwashing status. No wonder the poor bard took
off in a huff!
Listen to Gabrielle's line as she and Xena fight over a very
familiar-looking frying pan: "Give me the pan before you
hurt someone with it." Some shades of Day in the Life will
NEVER die.
The whole dance sequence was ridiculous and took too long.
But I kind of liked it. I especially loved the words to the
song Tyro and the Princess lip-synch. "My palms perspire,"
"my stomach churns." How romantic!
Did the stunt dancer for Tyro come from the fairy
godsmother, too?
Impressive method Aphrodite uses to put Joxer out of
commission. What a price to pay, though!
Gabrielle's smashup of the Aphrodite's glade was highly
reminiscent of the way she got Aphrodite's attention in For
Him the Bell Tolls.
Joxer's attempt at sidekicking was pretty vicious salt in
the "bard-has-bugged-out" wound for Xena. Suddenly her day
isn't looking so hot, either.
I realize it's silly to take anything in that final fight
seriously, but I really liked Xena's move when she leaped
off one baddie's back to kick the other's head. Cool!
After all that goofiness, did we really need that much corn
at the end? Gag. But wow, watch Gabrielle LIFT Xena. You go,
buff chick!
HIGHLIGHTS: Xena takes a close second for Line of the Episode when Gabrielle asks if she wants to attack the baddies with her underwear: "Oh no, that would be too cruel." OH! Score one for the warrior. But the grand prize gets stolen away by the kid with the disgustingly cutesy voice for the entire
dialogue:
"Why did you run away?"
"Have you ever heard Joxer tell a story?"
"Well, that's a good point, but all fairy tales have
a purpose, and even when Joxer tells them there's a
message there."
"Yeah... run!"
COMMENTARY 3:
Commentary Xorys.
Well, well, well... I actually quite liked If The Shoe Fits after all. I
really was a bit nervous, after In Sickness And In Health - which was
definitely my least favourite XWP comedy ever. After all, If The Shoe Fits
was produced by exactly the same team as ISAIH - Adam Armus & Nora Kay
Foster writing, and Josh Becker directing. But this one was definitely
worth seeing - it avoided the worst sins of ISAIH, on the whole, even maybe
captured a little of that old A Day In The Life magic now and then, and
managed to be quite entertaining. Indeed, come to think of it, it was the
best comedy ep so far this season, I'd say (not that the competition is
exactly fierce...)
I've seen complaints from some fans that our gorgeous heroines were often
made to look pretty ghastly in the "fairy tale" sections. Well of course,
it's fair enough if you don't like to see that... but making people look
grotesque on purpose is part of the English pantomime tradition (also
practised in NZ), which this ep was clearly drawing heavily on. Actually,
it's been used quite a bit before in the Xenaverse (e.g. Michael Hurst's
Widow Twanky character is straight out of pantomime, including the name).
It's supposed to be funny, not to make the actors look glamorous. Given
that North American audiences will, on the whole, be totally unfamiliar
with pantomime (also called "panto" for short), there may be quite a lot of
viewers who basically don't "get" it... Indeed I slightly wonder who is
responsible for the panto influence on XWP - Armus & Foster and Becker are
all Americans, I believe(?) We don't really have pantomimes here in Canada,
where I live, either... but I grew up in England, and got taken to the
panto most Christmases when I was little, which is why I'm familiar with
it. Actually, come to think of it, XWP has even more in common with panto
than I first thought! Consider the conventions of pantomime:
It's a performance based on classic tales, ostensibly aimed mainly at
children... but racy double entendres etc. are routinely included,
presumably on the basis that the kids won't notice them, and they'll help
the parents make it through the show.
The story is always told in a broad, self-mocking, even "campy" way, with
audience participation strongly encouraged - e.g. hissing when the villain
enters, or joining in shouted contradiction matches between characters:
"Oh... yes it is!" "Oh... no it isn't!"
There is always a character called the "dame", who is an older comic
female character, played by a male actor, often called Widow Twanky
(although Widow Twanky herself is the obvious Xenaverse dame, she's
actually a bit more dignified than the average panto dame, and Zantar as
the evil stepmother in ITSF is probably closer to the paradigm; and
although that ep is chiefly a homage to Some Like It Hot, Salmonella in Men
In Pink definitely has something of the dame about her too...)
The star, the central protagonist, of a panto is always a male character,
played by a female actor. This character is known as the "principle boy".
She often flies about the stage with the aid of a harness and wires...
Oh well, enough of this tendentious waffling... let's have a wander through
If The Shoe Fits!
There are definitely worse ways to start an ep than with Gab having a
shower. But that was sure a darned high-capacity pot she was using - a sort
of widow's cruse of a pot... no matter how much ran out of it, it never
seemed to empty. And where do they fit *that* thing into Argo's saddlebags?!
The idea of the ever alert warrior snoring away obliviously as the day went
on around her seemed a bit inappropriate to me - being a deep sleeper is
not a survival trait in her line of work... I always assumed Xena was like
some people I've known - always instantly awake when anything irregular
happened in her vicinity, no matter what the circumstances... after all,
remember how many eps we've seen where Xena and Gab have been attacked in
their camp (and no, actually I don't have a count of the top of my head -
but quite a few!) This is typical of the kind of little things that often
niggle me about Armus & Foster's eps... but fortunately there weren't too
many this time.
The distance shots of Gab showering were probably a body-double, but the
closer shot, that started from behind and panned round, wasn't - and check
out those upper arm and shoulder muscles! ROC has one tough, fit bod! But
then she does workout, kick-box, etc. Makes me ashamed! (I'm rather a
"computer-potato".)
I assume it crossed other people's minds as well as mine that we were
heading for a Norman Bates moment as the camera closed in from behind on
Gab showering - I assume it was meant to! I certainly didn't guess who the
BGSB-napper was...
So now we've had a shower scene. Perhaps this will placate people who
thought there really should have been one in LUATD!
Zantar has just got out of jail, and he says he's going to be smart this
time, and no way is he going back - and then Xena 'arrests' him, before
he's actually had time to do anything... So what is she going to charge him
with - conspiracy? Or perhaps he actually had broken out of jail, rather
than being released... in which case, I suppose she was just capturing a
fugitive at large... It still seems slightly minor business for the Warrior
Princess.
Zantar said he was going to head "east to Lamaria". The only place called
Lamaria I can find is in Syria, and I can't really find out anything much
about it... there is apparently also a goddess called Lamaria who is
associated with cows - but I don't know whence she originates.
Gab says her 'shirt' might have been stolen by a "fashionable beaver" -
LOL! To tell the truth, I thought beavers were new world animals - but
they're not, apparently: the word is derived from the Old English "beofor",
and various species used to hang out in Europe...
"It's the only shirt that goes with this skirt, Xena!" Aha - so *that's*
why she's been wearing it every day for nearly three years! But wait - then
why has she been wearing the same skirt every day??
The "we had no rope" excuse seemed a bit feeble - surely Xena wasn't just
getting back at Gab for not waking her... that would be rather petty!
The first time the child said "fairy godsmother" I thought she was just
perpetrating a cute malapropism... but since *all* the characters used it
consistently, I assume it was meant as a concession to the polytheistic
circumstances...
When 'Dite said "Dear child, do these features *look* evil?" it looked from
her pose rather more as if she were drawing attention to her assets than to
her features... if you see what I mean...
So this is Alesia, Princess of Syra... and Xena and her father have been
"friends for years"? As someone remarked recently, for a ruthless,
slaughtering Destroyer of Nations, Xena seems to have made an awful lot of
'friends' in her warlord days!
Very "Brit" accent the king had - sort of "refugee from Masterpiece
theatre" stuff. (Ok, ok - I know my own is almost as bad!) Quite a change
from the Irish brogue he was sporting last time he appeared in the 'verse!
Does he only do "old country" voices?
Why is Gab falling out of trees now - is Joxer's problem catching?
And what was with Xena starting on about a stepfather? I don't think Cyrene
ever remarried... I guess Xena was just making it up, trying to communicate
with Alesia by example.
"Stay here with Gabrielle - she's gonna tell you a story!" "I will?" "Yes,
you will - you're good at them!" ... I loved this - but it was really the
delivery that made it, more than the lines themselves!
And we got to see whole pages of that strange writing this time... I'm
pretty sure it's not any kind of real writing at all - but I'd be delighted
to hear from anyone who can contradict me, and say what it is.
*Very* competitive story telling they indulged in, with everyone projecting
their own interpretation, with themselves as the protagonist! Gab starts by
making 'her' character invincibly sweet (almost reminiscent of Sunny Day on
the recent HTLJ ep For Those Of You Just Joining Us) and Xena and
Aphrodite's characters horrible and hideous...
What *is* it with these people and feet?! Especially thrusting filthy,
diseased feet into people's faces?! Did they think this was such a *great*
gag in ISAIH that they just *had* to do it again? Oh well - at least they
didn't thrust any more infected body parts at us in this ep...
I thought having 'Dite talk to herself in the mirror seem a bit strained -
I guess they felt the need to develop and make explicit where she was
coming from, without having her soliloquize... but I think finding another
character for her to talk to would have been a better move.
Xena is giving Argo verbal instructions now?? And why did she say "head for
the river, make sure they see you"? Why would having the pursuing warriors
see a riderless horse help? And anyway, it didn't appear that the pursuers
*did* see Argo (maybe Argo changed the plan for the better on her own
initiative... now *that's* horse sense!)
Vertical leaps up onto high tree branches seem to be a standard Xena trick
these days - I wonder how the stuntees do them... This one looked as if it
might have been the old "jump *off* the branch and then play the film
backwards" trick.
That child seemed pretty keen on beating people up, stabbing them, etc... I
liked Gab's "more positive way" of dealing with the problem: "Your anger is
misplaced. It's a convenient way to avoid your deeper emotions. The same
way that your mistreatment of me and my belongings is your way to avoid
intimacy. You both need to get in touch with your inner child." Lawks!
Watch out Xena - you could be eclipsed by Gabrielle, Warrior New Age
Therapist!
I rather wish they'd lay off using bad teeth to mark people as stupid or
villainous (as witness Gab's awful teeth in Dite's version of the story,
and also the dreadful choppers on the villain in this week's HTLJ). I
thought ROC did the naive grotesque very effectively though... and I like
Lucy's bit as a high-school princess too: "Uh! Loser!" Although I did have
some difficulty seeing Alexandra as Lucy's mother...
I liked Gab's progressive tailoring of the sack - it looked quite good
eventually... maybe she has a future designing sportswear for the sidekick
on the go.
And is she going to be wearing the tailored sack *next* time we see her?
(What? I'm asking for ep to ep consistency here??)
So Gab keeps the frying pan in her pack now? Well out of Xena's way, I
guess. At least they're consistent about Xena's inability to cook.
I actually liked Joxer's segment of the story best... but this didn't sit
well with the fact it was supposed to be so bad that Alesia ran away from it.
Nice seeing Gab telling Xena to move: "I'm more a woman of action." "Then
take action, and get some water!" Definite echoes of A Day In The Life
again, but with a rather more mature Gabrielle now.
Somebody said they thought Lucy was using her natural Kiwi accent when she
did her "Harmonia, fairy godsmother, at your service" bit... actually I
think she was aiming for a sort of upper class Brit accent - kind of like
Leah, but without the lisp.
And Harmonia gives Joxer "many skills", indeed! And a "wrist hourglass"!
About as much use as a pocket sundial...
"Waddya want from me? My skirt? My boots? My underwear?" "No - that would
be too cruel!" LOL! One has to sort of wonder, quite apart from what ROC
actually wears to play the role, what fictional underwear does Gabrielle
wear? Probably Fruit of the Loom (because *you're* the one who has to fight
in them...") Although after that "Fredericks of Athens" nightie she loaned
to Joxer, I don't know...
The smoke-belching organ makes another appearance. That's one thing about
TPTB, they never leave a good prop idle. But they didn't bring over the guy
who usually plays it on HTLJ (And Fancy Free..., Men In Pink) - this fellow
didn't show quite the same eccentric enthusiasm for his art.
I just *loved* the dialogue: "Who's the new guy?" "I dunno. But check out
his social skills!" - that had me giggling all the way through the rest of
the ballroom scene! 'Zantar' was quite an effective verbal comic actor -
although I wasn't so keen on his drag act.
I kept hoping that Gab was actually going to *do* something during Joxer's
disco dancing turn, rather than just stand watching... but no such luck!
And Joxer's "firing the pistols and blowing off the smoke" hand motions
have to take some sort of prize in the "most egregious anachronism" category!!
What was with the sudden switch to a sort of "Noel Coward era" song? More
Brit accents! I think Ted did his own singing again, but Gab's singing
voice seemed extraordinarily incongruous - she's not really the "anyone for
tennis" type...
I still liked this section best - maybe I'm just a sucker for song and
dance (and humour and romance - heck Ken Russell's The Boyfriend is one of
my all time favourite movies... and there were more than slight echoes of
that here, come to think of it).
However, clearly Alesia didn't share my views - since she ran away from
Joxer's story-telling and jumped off a cliff!
"I left you in charge!" Hmm....
So now Gab is actually running off to deal with bands of heavily armed men
on her own! (Even when Xena has specifically told her to stay put...)
Err... wasn't the whole "kid hanging off the cliff" thing a bit gratuitous
and pointless? And why didn't the kid call for help when Xena first went by?
*Really* tough ropes - er... I mean "conveniently placed creepers" they
have in those parts - it didn't even *occur* to Xena that it might not
stand the weight of both her and the kid. Maybe Xena should have used one
of *those* to tie up Zantar, rather than stealing the BGSB!
"If Tyrella's a girl, isn't she supposed to have a step *mother*?" Excuse
me... I don't follow the logic in that at all....
I thought Xena's ending to the fairytale was quite appropriate: "I don't
need you, or a fairy godsmother, or anyone else to give me a happy ending.
That's something that I'll get, or I won't get, all by my own self." As
someone said in *last* week's ep, "Words to live by"! And I enjoyed Joxer's
parting remark too: "Get *out* of my royal bottom!"
"After *all* that we've been through, *that's* what you think of me? The
fairy godsister of dishes?!" Hmm... many a great romance has stumbled over
a pile of dishes! And who *does* scrub out that frying pan every time after
it's used??
When did Gabrielle acquire that neat little leather pack she was using in
this ep? And if it's *her* pack (as she said when Xena asked where the
frying pan was kept), why did she shove it into Xena's hands when she
stormed off and left? Has she never heard of "community property"? Why,
she's probably entitled to an interest in Argo as well!
I'm not entirely sure about Xena's "lock 'em up in a room together"
solution to domestic misunderstandings - but hey, it *might* work, I guess...
That outdoor shrine to Aphrodite that Gab arrived at looked *most*
unconvincing - it just didn't look as if it could have lasted from one day
to the next, what with the weather, and animals (hey, even a fashionable
beaver's got to eat...) More like a picnic than a shrine, basically...
So Gab went off to find Dite and lecture her? Was that her plan, then, even
when she first stormed off? Or did she calm down and come up with it
afterwards?
Joxer wants to be Xena's "wing man"? Is he sure he wouldn't rather be her
tailgunner?
At least Joxer seems to be catching on a bit quicker when people try to get
rid of him.
I'm not quite sure about jumping the final fight scene back and forth
between Xena and Tyrella - after all, this pretty much abandoned the whole
"story-telling" convention, since no one was *telling* this bit of the
story - and no, the Queen saying to Alesia "I'm sure Tyrella would do just
what Xena would" doesn't count... in fact it makes *no* *sense* at all! I
do wish they'd be just a bit more consistent about following conventions
when they've established them.
And the "It's a man!" thing when the "stepmother's" wig fell off was
*really* stupid and pointless... sort of pointlessness squared - an element
which is totally pointless within a scene that it rather pointless in the
first place. I can't believe that they left that in! Am I missing something
here...?
At least at the end they do re-establish the story-telling convention, with
Xena finishing off the tale for Alesia. And the heroine doesn't marry the
prince. "But she and her fairy godsister did make a pact - from now on they
would help one another be all that they could be."
"I realised that every family has their problems. But what's important is
that we stay together and work it out."
And now Gab is going to write Pinocchio??
COMMENTARY 4:
Commentary Videntur.
Definitely a fun episode with a good deal of “down to earth”
interaction between Xena and Gabrielle. Even the presence
of Joxer was tolerable in this episode. I must note - since Joxer’s
character has matured he has become much more tolerable in the
fourth season episodes.
The best way to approach a commentary on this episode is to
compare each person’s story with their character. Let’s start
with the first story told by Gabrielle. In Gabrielle’s story, Xena
is the evil stepmother and Aphrodite is the evil stepsister.
Gabrielle (who at the beginning of this episode had her top
taken by Xena) definitely built Xena’s lack of respect for her
belongings into her story. This is shown when Gabrielle states
to her evil stepmother and stepsister: “You’re anger is
misplaced -its a convenient way to avoid your deeper
emotions - the same way that your mistreatment of me and my
belongings is a way to avoid intimacy - you both need to get
in touch with your inner child.” In this statement Gabrielle
has touched upon Xena’s inner anger and disrespect of her
(Gabrielle’s) property. Evidently Xena did not learn her lesson
well in “A day in the Life” when she used Gabrielle’s scrolls
resulting in Gabrielle selling her whip for a frying pan.
The next story was told by Aphrodite - it reflected everything
she stood for. In her story she is surrounded by men - thus
the goddess of love. Also notice in her story no one can be
as beautiful as she is - thus we have a homely Xena and a
b*tt ugly Gabrielle. This shows that Aphrodite who feels she
is the only perfect woman definitely shows it in everything,
including her storytelling.
Joxer’s story portrayed Xena as the beautiful fairy godmother and
Gabrielle as the beautiful princess with himself mistreated at the
beginning until his fairy godmother comes along. This definitely
paralleled Joxer’s real life. He is constantly abused and considered
stupid by most people he meets; however, whenever he is in
trouble (like in the episode King Con) Xena comes to his rescue.
Also, the woman who he feels is beautiful and who he would like
to marry (Gabrielle) is portrayed as the princess. Joxer’s story
shows that he finds beauty in both women and needs both of them
in his life.
Xena’s story definitely portrayed her own personality. A very
strong woman who even in a fairytale was not bullied by her
stepmother. Just as in her life she helped save innocent people and
performed good deeds - so she did in her stories. She stated that
she was strong enough to believe that she molded her own destiny
(note: I think Xena’s mental strength is fantastic!). Her one mistake
in her story - portraying Gabrielle as a silly fairy godsister who
served no other purpose than to do the dishes. Gabrielle became
very upset over this but was she being fair? Not totally. In
the first place Xena could have became angry when she portrayed
her as an ugly fairy stepmother - but she did not. Also, Xena has
previously told Gabrielle that she definitely thinks of her as more
than just a sidekick. An example of this was in the episode: “Fins,
Femmes and Gems” when Xena told Gabrielle at the end that the
good that she performs is due to Gabrielle and that she will definitely
see that people are aware of this fact. I think Xena was telling
Gabrielle the truth when she said: “It’s only a story.” Also, when
Xena told Gabrielle to do the dishes, it paralleled real life where
Xena will sometimes try to give Gabrielle something else to do to
keep her busy and out of trouble (ex: the episode “Past Imperfect”
where Xena tried to get Gabrielle to stay behind to tend to the
sick - to which Gabrielle refused). However, in this current episode,
Gabrielle has made Xena realize that she has a need for Xena to
never think of her as just a stupid sidekick at anytime even if it is
said in something as silly as a child’s fairytale. Xena does realize
her mistake and changes the ending of her story to state that, her
(Xena’s) character would help her fairystepsister be all that she
could be.
The episode itself showed that our two characters have a down to
earth relationship with each other. Who else could throw a
watersack at Xena and get away with it. In the first Xena episode,
Gabrielle would have never thought of throwing anything at Xena,
yet here we don’t even give it a second glance. Good character
development on the part of the writers for both Xena and
Gabrielle. I also liked the strong theme of family that ran throughout
the entire episode. The strength of the family and Gabrielle
stating at the end that “I realize that every family has their
problems but what’s important is that we stay together and work
it out.” This statement showed just how strong the bond between
Xena and Gabrielle has become.
The episode had some very funny moments: The part
where Xena stole Gabrielle’s top and was trying to hide it as
she brought the prisoner back. Meanwhile Gabrielle almost
elated to think that her top was so cool that it must have been
taken by some “fashionable beaver”. Another funny scene was when
Gabrielle fell out of the tree mainly because she was stunned
that Xena had revealed some part of herself that she knew nothing
about (the revelation of a stepfather). The one thing I found
strange was at the beginning when Gabrielle acted surprised when
Xena asked her to tell the young princess a story - usually this
is something Gabrielle is good at and loves to do - her hesitation
to do so seemed a bit out of character. My favorite action scene
was Xena using her whip to capture the prisoner and then going
back up the tree. It was great when the prisoner’s brother stated:
“Oh, she’s good!” All in all it was a good episode and very
entertaining.
THERAPY TRANSCRIPTS
Turns out that Xena and Gabrielle have started to go to a couples counselor and we have been leaked some of report written up by the therapist. Read at your own risk. Thanks to Susan Mullarky for her connections!
INTRODUCTION
I was asked to do a psychological evaluation of Xena and Gabrielle for each
episode. I decided that a more interesting way to do this was to have
couples counseling revolving around each episode. I am a Systems Therapist.
In order not to confuse you with other type of systems analysis, I am
called a Marriage and Family therapist. This means that I consider a person
in and of themsself, in relation to their family of origin (The one they
grew up in. That could be a foster home, the streets, a prison etc.), and
in relation to their culture/country. It is my belief that all these things
have influenced a person. That to fully understand how someone behaves it
is necessary to consider this variety of influences.
My training was with remarkable therapists in the fields of Structural and
Strategic Family Therapy and Ericksonian Hypnotherapy. I have a Masters
degree in Clinical Psychology. I teach Human Sexuality and Psychology class
at the college level. I am in private practice. I have been practicing my
craft for 20+ years.
Finally it needs to be noted that these sessions of couple's counseling are
done as an
interesting and thought provoking inquiry. They need to be taken with a
large grain of salt as they are a figment of my imagination.
First Session: "If The Shoe Fits"
As a therapist, I start by taking down a "history." This is the client's
life story as seen from his/her perspective. Sometimes a little specific
prodding is needed to establish: familyrelationships, histories of sexual or
physical abuse, religious belief, drug abuse, career history, what they want
out of their marriage/relationship and what they want from life themselves.
This is the only session when I deliberately collect background data. I file
this information and then let the client bring in the material for each
following session. Everything they say in a session has some relevance to
their pain and their problem. I let them tell it in a way that is safe for
them.
"If The Shoe Fits"
There were several themes dealt within this session. Gabrielle is unable to
grasp that humans are capable of both good and bad actions, including
herself. She believes she accepts this concept but her behaviour indicates
otherwise. She tends to sort people into a good or bad category. By keeping
these designations seperate she is unable to see that she herself is both
good and bad. She saw her role with Xena as providing the light (good) and
when that light goes out (bad), as a result of the events involving Chin,
Hope, and Solon, she was lost. If she is bad, how can she now be important
to Xena? I see this as one of the reasons she struggles so hard to become
good again. She is trying to reestablish her role in their relationship.
She also does not believe she is worthy of love. The Tirella metaphor
addresses this issue. You have evil sisters and their stepmother and a good
Tirella. Only with magic can Tirella be transformed into a beautiful
princess (good) again and be worthy of the princess's (WP) everlasting love.
Xena brought in several themes too. Xena sees herself as dark and needing
Gabrielle to provide the light. Xena's actions often make this a
self-fulfilling prophecy. By acting like a jerk, Xena maintains her dark
self concept. We in turn feel sorry for Gabrielle, the abused "good" woman.
Xena's actions maintain her concept of her and Gabrielle's roles. Xena sets
herself up over and over again to fulfill her poor concept of herself.
(Couples do this a lot. By acting 'bad' the other person is seen as'good'.
It is a move in a couples relationship to protect a partner) Xena plays the
role of the strong one in their relationship. In actuality, she is the
vulnerable one in the couple's dance of intimacy.
In her role as Gabrielle's lover, she feels totally inept. In her version of
the Tirella story, she starts out as a warrior but ends up in a kind of
frilly dress. (A closet femme?) She's rough, tough and hard to bluff but how
then does she show a softer side to her lover? By slaying the bad guys?
Again this is a couple's issue of role expectation. What would Gabrielle
think of she knew a part of Xena was a mushball?
She has a strong sense of self as a warrior but not as a companion. She does
not get it that wars can be fought for good and so she sees her warrior's
skills as reflecting her darkness. She needs to learn that her warrior's
skills are as important in the fight against evil. Xena rescues the little
girl (Gabrielle) hanging from the vine but can't accept that without her
being a skilled warrior the little girl (Gabrielle) would die.
Both families have a history of alcohol and physical abuse. So it is easy
for them not to trust that the person who loves them will not hurt them. In
both families too, they did not fit into the accepted female role of the
society. Culturally, they were only property, first owned by parents and
then to be a possession of a husband. There was, in their youth, a
relentless message that women are only seen as valuable as breeders and
servants. Therefore, there is something "wrong" with them for wanting
something different. In order to be who they really were/are they had to
both leave their families. Both families were angered/hurt by this choice
and continue to pressure them to "fit in." These messages are internalized.
They are usually outside a person's awareness but can have a powerful effect
in negative ways in a couple's relationship.
I did one intervention to start ending the rigidity of the good/bad roles.
Gabrielle was asked to practice swearing. Each night after dinner, she was
to get up and scream at the top of her lungs at least ten different swear
words. She was to use ten different words each day. After the third day,
Xena could help.
Xena was asked to tell a story of how as a little girl she had helped
someone. If she couldn't remember any real happenings, she could invent a
story. It did not have to be a long story. Gabrielle could not help. If she
attempted to help, she had to add two more swear words.
I never explain my interventions but you can postulate as to why these
exercises were assigned!<
End of session report.
NOTE: These reports will vary in length. They will not cover all the issues
as it is a one hour session. Important issues that are not resolved will
re-appear as needed. Eventually all the important issues will be addressed.
WHERE HAVE I SEEN YOU BEFORE?
By Xorys.
So who was who in If The Shoe Fits?
Well probably the number one "why does he look so familiar?" candidate was
the King, Melos, played by Alistair Browning... if you only watch XWP, you
wouldn't know him at all, but if you watch HTLJ as well you were probably
remembering him as Bronagh, the Irish chieftain, in Resurrection, Render
Unto Caesar, and Darkness Rising. He also played Meniskos in Two Men And A
Baby (remembering my high-school physics vaguely - isn't Meniskos the skin
on the surface of water of something?)
And then Chris Ryan, who played Zantar, doubling as the Evil
(cross-dressing) Stepfather, probably looked familiar too. He should have,
if you know all your XWP eps - he played Virgilius, the biggest and
hairiest of the warlords, in Ten Little Warlords. As a point of curiosity,
Marshall, the spaced out ex-husband on Absolutely Fabulous (love that show)
is played by Chris Ryan - but that is an entirely different Chris Ryan.
Altogether, they were a familiar family... the two sons of the Evil
Stepfather were played by Ted Clarke, who has previously been seen as
Thoracles in Warrior...Priestess...Tramp and as a "Young Man" in the HTLJ
ep Reunions, and Douglas Kamo, who should be particularly recognisable from
his role as Dorian, the "Spartan" in One Against An Army, and who also
played Sullus in The Execution.
Hilary Cleary, who played the Old Woman (Dite in disguise... now why does that make me think of an *old* song?) has never been credited on X:WP
before, but she appeared in Hercules in the Underworld as the Gryphon Elder.
Olivia Tennet, who played Alesia, the little girl, appears to be new to the
Xenaverse (perhaps not surprisingly ).
Sally Spencer-Harris who played Queen Mistria (Alesia's stepmother) is also
new to the 'verse. She can be seen as Sharon in the movie Crimetime, which
is a thriller starring Stephen, the "other" Baldwin.
And just a word about the familiar co-stars...
Ted Raimi, much featured in this ep as Joxer/Messenger/Tyro/Prince, has an
extensive filmography, with roles that range from starring parts to
walk-ons (or perhaps more aptly "die-ons"). As a minor tidbit, he voiced
the Titan Crius in the Hercules And Xena animated movie. As of course is
well known, he had a prominent role in the series SeaQuest DSV. Here is a
partial list of his other roles: Art Gallery Manager in For Love Of The
Game, Ed Finney in Wes Craven's Wishmaster, The Workaholic in Pathos, Steve
Bales in Apollo 11 (TV movie), Detective Corelli in The Shot, Hal in Stuart
Saves His Family (an SNL spinoff movie), Dennis Skinner in Skinner (Ted
stars as a serial killer, along with Traci Lords as a resistant potential
victim... I'm afraid it's fairly bad - much of it seems to consist of shots
of people walking along empty sidewalks), Satellite Analyst in Clear and
Present Danger (Ted seems to have made something of a specialty of playing
techno-geeks), Salesman in Floundering, Man on the Street in Hard Target
(the Jean-Claude Van-Damme action film), Cynthia's Assistant in Born
Yesterday (with Melanie Griffiths - Cynthia was not a really major
character), Pit Troll in Army of Darkness (the third episode in brother
Sam's Evil Dead opus), Scooter in Eddie Presley, CIA Technician in Patriot
Games (with Harrison Ford), Billy in Candyman (with Tony Todd, known to us
as Cecrops and Gilgamesh), TV Reporter in Maniac Cop 3, Hank Stone in
Lunatics: A Love Story (directed by Josh Becker, who directed If The Shoe
Fits), Rick in Darkman (another of Sam's films), Pac Man in Shocker,
Possessed Henrietta in Evil Dead II (yes, Ted played the girlfriend, when
she turned into a zombie), Waiter in Crimewave.... and how could we omit,
Fake Shemp in the original The Evil Dead!
And Alexandra Tydings, well known to us as the lovely Aphrodite, to say
nothing of the fetching Katherine the Pig (about the only saving grace of
One Fowl Day, for me), can also be seen as Victoria Reynolds in The
Sunchaser, and in an ep of The Red Shoe Diaries entitled Burning Up (where,
I should perhaps caution you, even more of her is seen than in her role as
'Dite).
If The Shoe Fits was penned by the writing team of Adam Armus & Nora Kay
Foster, who have done much work on XWP... they wrote Chariots of War
(Teleplay), Death In Chains (with Babs Greyhosky), Beware of Greeks Bearing
Gifts (Teleplay), Ties That Bind, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, The Xena
Scrolls (Teleplay), For Him the Bell Tolls, Blind Faith, The King of
Assassins, Warrior...Priestess...Tramp, Fins, Femmes and Gems (with Rob
Tapert), and In Sickness And In Hell - a record which, for me at least,
shows quite a range from its highs to its lows...
The ep was directed by Josh Becker, whose first contact with XWP was as
the Story Writer for Chariots of War. He then went on to direct A Fistful
of Dinars, Warrior...Princess...Tramp, For Him the Bell Tolls, Blind Faith,
Fins, Femmes and Gems, and In Sickness And In Hell (the last four teamed
up, as in If The Shoe Fits, with Armus & Foster). He also co-wrote the
story for Locked Up And Tied Down (with Rob Tapert), and directed the TV
movie Hercules in the Maze of the Minotaur (which was sort of a clip-show
of the previous four Hercules TV movies).
WHIMPERS, MURMURS, AND A LOVE GONE TOO
FAR
03-12-00. Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor appeared at the The Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras of February 1999, and Lawless wore the gown Miss Amphipolis wore in HERE SHE COMES, and O'Connor wore the gown she wore as Tyrella in IF THE SHOE FITS, including tiara! To see before and after pictures, CLICK HERE to visit MaryD's site.
12-21-98. From Josh Becker's site: "If the Shoe Fits... This is the episode Josh just finished shooting. This episode is the story of Cinderella (now Tyrella) retold differently to a 7-year old runaway princess by: Gabrielle, Aphrodite, Joxer and Xena."
12-21-98. From the Ted Raimi Fan Club, "The story is that a little Princess named Elisia needs to be entertained so Gabrielle tells her the story of Cinderella (with Gab as Cinderella), though Ted says they don't actually call her Cinderella. Joxer keeps interupting with his own version, though in Joxer's version
HE'S Cinderella. There is a ballroom scene with a waltz and a disco."
12-15-98. Latest from the Josh Becker website! Renee O'Connor and Ted Raimi not only cut a rug together in IF THE SHOW FITS, but also get to sing a song. Let's hope it is NOT Joxer the Mighty.
11-24-98. On or about 09/27/98, Josh Becker mentioned on his web page that this episode is a variation on the Cinderella theme.
THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR
These things are by Beth Gaynor.
Listen to the popping sound as Tyro uncranks his wedgie.
Ee-yew!
Watch as the whole party is on the road back to Alesia's
castle; Gab and Joxer are playing rock-scissors-paper in the
background. And at least ONE thing does go Gab's way today -
she gets to give Joxer a whack.
Watch during the final scene as Alesia is standing in front
of Xena and Joxer to talk to Aphrodite: for one shot there's
a pudgy, old hand resting on Alesia's left shoulder. Whose
hand is THAT?
MORE THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR
02-15-01. From Richard. At the end of If The Shoe Fits... when Gabrielle is explaining why she came back, something moves on top of the hill just above her head, it looks like a vehicle moving along a road.
03-12-00. From Deb7. In the camp scene when Joxer is telling his story and Xena is sitting on her *ss, look at Gabrielle in the background as she rummages around looking for the oil. She's got the STUNT DOUBLE HAIR! It's not there before that and it goes away in the very next scene! [Followup: As I suspected, according to Josh Becker, that bit was filmed after ROC got her haircut.]
02-05-99. From Marc MacKay. Listen carefully when Alicia is doing the stabbing motions of Tyrella stabbing the evil stepmother. The music is the "screaming violins" from the film
"Phycho".
02-05-99. From Virginia V Kelly. Joxer's dance scene in The Shoe Fits may be almost dance move per dance move from the big solo dance scene in Saturday Night Fever. If not all, then humongous chunks of it.
02-01-99. From Candi. Cinderella is the fairy/folk tale extraordinare. There are more
recorded versions of it than any other tale (some do have boys as as the
main character). The story appears in more cultures than any other
single story. The oldest written version of a fairy tale is a Chinese
Cinderella from the 9th century. Because of these things it is highly
studied by folklorists. In it's many forms, Cinderella is much more
interesting than the soft, fluffy versions (Golden Books and Disney)
most of us grew up with.
01-31-99. From Dina Marks. The disco scene is the same place as the dance contest in HTLJ's
"...And Fancy Free" episode with the Widow Twanky. You might also
recognize the organ that shoots out steam.
01-31-99. From Dina Marks. Xena steals Gabrielle's top because she has no rope (which was fun
because Gabrielle altered it to make it more "sexy". We can see that
she only has about a foot of rope left. Later, however, she attacks
Zantar and his brothers by coming down and up a tree (with Zantar in
tow) using a rope.
TRANSCRIPT
Click here to read a transcript of IF THE SHOE FITS .
DISCLAIMER:
No Fractured Fables were harmed in the production of this motion picture.
