![]() |
![]() |
Editor's Note: This year's calendar is devoted to those characters that just keep on coming back on Xena: Warrior Princess. To enhance your viewing pleasure, Whoosh! intrepid reporter Shelley Sullivan, with her loyal assistant Kym "Pass Me Another Eggnog" Taborn, stalked down all the recurring characters appearing in this year's calendar (and maybe one more) for an exclusive interview with Whoosh!.
Aphrodite, Ms. January (01-43)
Ares, Mr. February (44-84)
Epiny, Ms. March (85-133)
Callisto, Ms. April (134-154)
Autolycus, Mr. May (155-171)
Joxer, Mr. June (172-201)
Alti, Ms. July (202-222)
Cyrene, Ms. August (223-247)
Hope, Ms. September (248-270)
Athena, Ms. October (271-289)
Caesar, Julius Caesar, Co-Mr. November (290-306)
Eve/Livia, Co-Ms. November (307-338)
Argo, Ms. December (339-359)
Nebula??? (360-377)
Biographies
Aphrodite, Ms. January
Aphrodite
Who would have thunk she'd be the last god standing with any ounce of respect left?
[01] Ms. January was born and raised in Mt. Olympus, a quaint god-stronghold in Greece before Xena started getting an itchy trigger finger for Olympian gods. Known for her enthusiasm and natural attractions, Aphrodite is one of the most popular love goddess ever to walk the Earth.
Past Calendar Appearances: Aphrodite was Ms. September in WHOOSH's 1999 Grrlfriends of Xena Calendar issue. Click here to read Aphrodite's previous calendar interview.
Trivia: Speaks and understands fluent Valley.
Unique Skill: Is the most likeable god, and that saved her little heinie during the Great Gods Spring Cleaning.
Significant Other: Hephaestus (deceased)
Children: Cupid (status unknown)
Recurring How Many Times: A gentleman would never ask.
WHOOSH!:
[02] It's a pleasure to see you again, Aphrodite. Congratulations on being named favorite recurring character.APHRODITE:
[03] It's way cool, isn't it? Not like it's surprising or anything, but it's still an honor. I'd like to thank all those awesome fans who voted for me and showed what great taste they have.WHOOSH!:
[04] How have you been doing? It's been a rough year for you.APHRODITE:
[05] It's been a major downer at times. I'm glad the bard hung in there.WHOOSH!:
[06] I suppose you've heard that Gabrielle and Xena are contemplating retirement.APHRODITE:
[07] I heard. Can you get word to The Gabster for me? I need to have a little chat with her.WHOOSH!:
[08] Can't you just...pop in?APHRODITE:
[09] That is so not happening, not with tall, dark and possessor of many sharp edged weapons anywhere around. My subscription to Victorius' Secrets scrolls has years to run, and I'd kinda like to get my dinars worth.WHOOSH!:
[10] I don't think Xena would hurt you.APHRODITE:
[11] Willing to sign your name in blood to that?WHOOSH!:
[12] Er, no. What did you want to talk to Gabrielle about?APHRODITE:
[13] She's gonna write that Tell-All scroll she's been talking about, right?WHOOSH!:
[14] I suppose so, why?APHRODITE:
[15] Oh, please, you can ask that after last season? We're talking hot tubs, we're talking jammies, oiled wrestling...grrrl bonding. Major bad news.WHOOSH!:
[16] Lots of fans loved that. Why wouldn't you want Gabrielle to write about it?APHRODITE:
[17] Cause the pointy object that'll be aimed at me isn't the sort I'm used to, if you know what I mean.WHOOSH!:
[18] I think you can trust Gabrielle to be discreet.APHRODITE:
[19] I'm not worried about her. It's the Athenian Enquirer. Tabloid bards...you just can't trust 'em. Xena might not read The Gabster's scrolls, but I bet she catches the rag headlines.WHOOSH!:
[20] Well, moving on, what do you see as your greatest influence on Xena and Gabrielle?APHRODITE:
[21] Threads. Definitely the threads. Where do you think all those fab outfit ideas are coming from? Bet you've noticed the accessorizing.WHOOSH!:
[22] You gave her the idea for the necklace?APHRODITE:
[23] No, hon. The bod the outfit doesn't cover.WHOOSH!:
[24] The Goddess of Love is a fashion consultant?APHRODITE:
[25] When it comes to abs like that, you bet.WHOOSH!:
[26] That seems a rather shallow sentiment.APHRODITE:
[27] It's all part of the package. That 'beyond sex' stuff gets pretty boring after a while, might just as well liven things up a bit and give them something to look at.WHOOSH!:
[28] I would have thought that the you, of all people, would understand the love that goes beyond sex.APHRODITE:
[29] Oh, I get it. I just wouldn't have wanted to explain that to Haephy. I don't think Pysche and Cupid would have bought it, either. Or Herc and Morrigan, or Herc and whatwashername, or Gab's parents, or Ephiny and the Centaur guy, or....WHOOSH!:
[30] I see your point. But it's love that's important.APHRODITE:
[31] You betcha. There are plenty of things you mortals can live without, but love isn't one of them. Great sex makes it a whole lot more fun, too. Like, who'd *want* to be beyond sex? Noticed any volunteers?WHOOSH!:
[32] Is that why you took Gabrielle to Mt. Olympus?APHRODITE:
[33] The Gabster is my favorite mortal, one of the few who truly understands.WHOOSH!:
[34] You took Xena and Eve, too.APHRODITE:
[35] Gab loves 'em. What's a goddess to do?WHOOSH!:
[36] Why didn't you heal Gab? I know the fans are curious.APHRODITE:
[37] Best laid plans and all that. Ares and Athena aren't the only ones who can do the strategy thing. I'm not just a gorgeous body, you know. Wars start, wars end, but love goes on forever. It's a blast, isn't it?WHOOSH!:
[38] Are you saying that you set that up? You knew what Ares would do?APHRODITE:
[39] I *am* the goddess of love. Last babe standing, A dead Xena means chances for panty raids by the horndog are over. Toy boys are so easy. Maybe Gabs could call her scroll "Make Love, Not War". Think it could, like, catch on?WHOOSH!:
[40] Considering it's a tell-all book about Gabrielle and Xena's life together, it would probably up the sales quite a bit. It sounds like a sex manual. So what do you see in your future?APHRODITE:
[41] I'll be hanging around for a while. Maybe pop over to Rome for a bit. A good orgy is always fun, and they could use the wardrobe help. I'd really appreciate you having a word with Gabs. I don't want Miss Double Standard following me around. Bad enough she's got all those sharp things, but she'd bring the kid, and I've suffered enough.WHOOSH!:
[42] I'll see what I can do. Don't stay away too long, the fans miss you.APHRODITE:
[43] And I miss them. Great vibes like that are a real blast, and it's thanks to them that Love is thriving. I'd tell you to give the Gabster a kiss for me, but I'd rather handle that myself.
Ares, Mr. February
Ares
Nominated for Best Ancient World Hounddog annually for over three hundred years!
[44] Mr. February was also born and raised in Mt. Olympus. The brother of Ms. January, Ares is the god of war and like Johny Appleseed, has also found time to spread his seeds around.
Past Calendar Appearances: Ares was Mr. January in WHOOSH's 1990 Men of Xena: warrior Princess Calendar issue.
Trivia: Likes to date multi-generationally.
Unique Skill: Can get Xena to kiss him.
Significant Other: He's loves 'em and leaves 'em
Children: Evander (mother: Nemesis); (questioned) Xena (mother: Cyrene); Chuppy, the Porcipine Boy (mother: Hope)
Recurring How Many Times: If you have to ask, you don't deserve to know.
WHOOSH!:
[45] Welcome, Ares. I think this is the first time we've had a chance to talk. Congratulations on coming #2 on the fan favorite list.ARES:
[46] That little blond put the fans up to this, didn't she? Aphrodite ahead of me? Ridiculous.WHOOSH!:
[47] Er, no. Gabrielle didn't have anything to do with it. This was voted by the fans. Look at it this way, maybe it was just a wardrobe preference thing.ARES:
[48] I demand a recount.WHOOSH!:
[49] Sorry. I don't think you're in a position to demand anything. How does it feel to be mortal?ARES:
[50] Lousy. Did you know how many dinars it costs to have leather cleaned?WHOOSH!:
[51] I'm impressed.ARES:
[52] Don't be. That rash was making walking pretty d*mn painful.WHOOSH!:
[53] On a more pleasant note, congratulations on saving Gabrielle and Eve. That was a nice thing to do.ARES:
[54] No need to be insulting. I wasn't trying to be nice. Puppies are nice.WHOOSH!:
[55] There are fans who consider it to be a selfless act and a great sacrifice.ARES:
[56] Right, kick me when I'm down.WHOOSH!:
[57] You didn't do it for Xena?ARES:
[58] Of course. The end result just wasn't quite what I'd planned.WHOOSH!:
[59] And that was?ARES:
[60] Me...Xena...soft grass by a nice bloody battlefield, swords clashing all around us, the screams of the dying...now, that's romance! Not that mushy crap that Xena and blondie keep babbling to each other.WHOOSH!:
[61] I don't think that says "romance" to a lot of women.ARES:
[62] They don't know what they're missing. How about "my sword, you're sheath...now!"?WHOOSH!:
[63] You aren't dating a lot, are you? That's disgusting.ARES:
[64] I'm a disgusting kinda guy. And I'm *very* good at it.WHOOSH!:
[65] I didn't think so. If Gabrielle writes her book, how do you think she'll portray you?ARES:
[66] She's never understood me. And she's jealous of what Xena feels for me.WHOOSH!:
[67] As I recall, Xena said something along the lines of "you disgust me."ARES:
[68] She's got a way with sweet talk, doesn't she?WHOOSH!:
[69] So you believe that Gabrielle is going to portray you in a bad light?ARES:
[70] Probably. After all, when Xena and I get together, she'll have to babysit the brat.WHOOSH!:
[71] Xena's daughter? She's hardly a child.ARES:
[72] And don't I know it.WHOOSH!:
[73] There's a rumour that you're more than a bit acquainted with Cyrene, Xena's mother. Any truth to that?ARES:
[74] I'm not the kind of god who kisses and tells. I have my standards.WHOOSH!:
[75] You're not a god any more.ARES:
[76] If you'd been listening outside my room last night, you wouldn't be saying that.WHOOSH!:
[77] I thought you weren't dating.ARES:
[78] I wouldn't call it dating. Exactly. Can we talk about something else?WHOOSH!:
[79] Sure. What do you see in your future?ARES:
[80] Other than Xena falling into my arms and declaring her undying love?WHOOSH!:
[81] Uh, yeah. Other than that.ARES:
[82] Maybe I'll head towards Rome. They've got this decadent thing down pretty well. Gorgeous women, lots of intrigue...did I mention that I like intrigue? Nothing finishes a good conspiracy like a knife in the back.WHOOSH!:
[83] I'll make a note of that. Any thoughts of finding a way to get your powers back?ARES:
[84] Something will turn up, it always does.
Ephiny, Ms. March
Ephiny
Last of the REAL Amazons, sporting a classic Amazon perm
[85] Ms. March was born and raised in the ancient Amazon ways. She later was given the regency of her own Amazon tribe when wishy-washy Gabrielle couldn't commit.
Past Calendar Appearances: Ephiny was Ms. March in WHOOSH's 1999 Grrlfriends of Xena Calendar issue and Ms. February in WHOOSH's 2000 Dead in the Xenaverse Calendar issue.
Trivia: Likes to date
Unique Skill: Can irk goddesses like nobody's business.
Significant Other: Phantes (deceased)
Children: Xenan
Recurring How Many Times: Not enough times.
WHOOSH!:
[86] Ephiny, it's a real pleasure to see you again. It's been quite a while.EPHINY:
[87] Thanks, it's good to see you, too.WHOOSH!:
[88] Congratulations on being voted number 3 fan favorite.EPHINY:
[89] It's a wonderful honor, and I'd like to thank all those fans and potential amazons out there who voted for me.WHOOSH!:
[90] So what's new in your life?EPHINY:
[91] Oh, same old, same old. Still dead, still with a sore arm when the weather got damp, still in the Amazon Land of the Dead. Not that it's much of a hardship.WHOOSH!:
[92] So I see. How did you manage to raise the temperature to the point where nudity is pretty much a health requirement? As I recall, the last time I was here it was quite chilly.EPHINY:
[93] Hey, we're healthy dead amazons. How do you think we did it? There's not much else to do, after all.WHOOSH!:
[94] Interesting way to pass the time. I'm not sure if you've heard or not, but Xena and Gabrielle are contemplating retirement.EPHINY:
[95] We've heard. So Gabrielle is finally gonna tell all, is she?WHOOSH!:
[96] I'm not sure. She isn't saying. How do you think she'll remember you?EPHINY:
[97] Fondly. Very fondly.WHOOSH!:
[98] Aphrodite and Ares have some concerns about what Gabrielle might write. It doesn't seem to concern you.EPHINY:
[99] I'm dead. What more can happen? Xena can't kill me for looking.WHOOSH!:
[100] So you did look.EPHINY:
[101] Well, sure. Doesn't everybody?WHOOSH!:
[102] I'm not sure if you're aware of recent events.EPHINY:
[103] I've haven't really been keeping up. It's not easy, all these amazons needing consoling. It's pretty time consuming.WHOOSH!:
[104] Well, in a nutshell, Xena killed Artemis.EPHINY:
[105] Artemis made a pass at Gabrielle? You'd think she'd know better.WHOOSH!:
[106] Not to my knowledge, no. Xena's baby...EPHINY:
[107] Gabrielle got Xena pregnant? Wow, what a queen!WHOOSH!:
[108] Um, actually it was Callisto's baby.EPHINY:
[109] That ambrosia packs a real punch, doesn't it?WHOOSH!:
[110] It's complicated.EPHINY:
[111] No kidding.WHOOSH!:
[112] Xena's baby had a prophecy attached to her. The gods got scared and attacked Xena. Bottom line, Athena, Hephaestus, and some others are dead.EPHINY:
[113] So what's the deal with Xena's kid?WHOOSH!:
[114] I'm not sure. I haven't figured it out myself yet. Anyway, I was wondering how you would feel about a woman who had committed crimes against the nation and went free.EPHINY:
[115] Hey, wait a minute. Is Xena's kid some kind of whiny disgrace to the amazons, bleating about some guy named Eli?WHOOSH!:
[116] I 've heard her described that way.EPHINY:
[117] Yeah, I've heard about her. Whatshername, the current queen, talks in her sleep. Xena's kid enslaved amazons, right?WHOOSH!:
[118] Apparently, yes.EPHINY:
[119] A lifetime of digging latrines sounds like a good place to start. So how's Gabrielle?WHOOSH!:
[120] Fine. She and Xena recently spent some time in the Northlands.EPHINY:
[121] Ah, Brunhilde, yeah, the grapevine mentioned her.WHOOSH!:
[122] You've heard about that but you hadn't heard about Artemis?EPHINY:
[123] Artemis hadn't had much to do with us for years. She liked to think we could solve our own problems. As for Brunhilde, she was a Valkyrie, professional connections, you know how it is.WHOOSH!:
[124] So what did you hear?EPHINY:
[125] Enough to know that it was a good thing she turned herself into a flame. Not that we all didn't burn for Gabrielle, but Xena was usually right there. She'd have doused us all. Permanently.WHOOSH!:
[126] The fans are hoping that TPTB can bring you back. How do you feel about that?EPHINY:
[127] A visit would be great. I can't be away too long. I have heavy duties here.WHOOSH!:
[128] Is there any message you'd like me to give to Gabrielle? Something about her possible scroll, or something more private?EPHINY:
[129] Will Xena be there when you speak with her?WHOOSH!:
[130] I'm not sure. I'm not even certain I'll be able to catch up with them.EPHINY:
[131] Well, if you do, and if Xena is there, give Gabrielle a kiss for me, and break Xena's arm.WHOOSH!:
[132] You're kidding.EPHINY:
[133] Only about breaking Xena's arm.
Table of Contents
Next Section