Whoosh! Issue 75 - January/February 2003

TOTALLY AMAZON
2003
CALENDAR INTERVIEWS

By Intrepid Whoosh! reporter extraordinaire, Shelley Sullivan
Content © 2003 held by author and the Amazon Nation
WHOOSH! edition © 2003 held by Whoosh!
4908 words

 

Introduction (01-03)
Ephiny, Ms. January (04-32)
Cyane, Ms. February (33-46)
Melosa, Ms. March (47-65)
Velasca, Ms. April (66-91)
Gabrielle, Ms. May (92-120)
Yakut, Ms. June (121-131)
Solari, Ms. July (132-148)
Varia, Ms. August (149-165)
Otere, Ms. September (166-173)
Amarice, Ms. October (174-183)
Terreis, Mr. November (184-201)
Anokin, Ms. December (202-213)
Neb-U-La! (214-232)
Articles
Biography



TOTALLY AMAZON 2003 CALENDAR INTERVIEWS




INTRODUCTION

Okay...before we go down the slope, have you all done the Bunny Hill first?

After going to [Amazon] Hell and back, intrepid Whoosh! reporter, Shelley Sullivan, gets the interviews of the year
(Cyane, Shelley, and her inexpensive guide, Doofus)


[01] Another year has gone by, and a new year begins. Whoosh! January issues just wouldn't be the same without...you guessed it! interviews with dead people! We do toss in a few who are still alive, but where's the fun in that? You haven't lived (or died) until you wake up one morning and you're not sure which Realm of the Dead you're in this week.


[02] This year, Whoosh!, in deference to their increasingly theologically challenged roving interviewer, decided that it would be a fine idea to track down all your favorite amazons. Thankfully, this required only three separate location visits and only one trip to see dead people. I would like to thank the fine representatives of the Amazons R You Womens' Travel Service for their helpful assistance after Ancient NewGreeceland customs inspectors seized my bow and arrows.

[03] As always, fans voted for their top twelve Amazons in order of preference.



Ephiny, Ms. January


In the Bronx, this gesture would get you killed.

Ephiny, a very popular Amazon


Ephiny:
[04] Hey, you made it! Good to see you again.

Sullivan:
[05] Good to see you, too. Congratulations on being voted Top Amazon.

Ephiny:
[06] Thanks, it's a real honor, considering some of the candidates.

Sullivan:
[07] Things look pretty much the same. How's death treating you, these days?

Ephiny:
[08] It was pretty hectic for a bit after that little rout at Helicon, but it got sorted once the crying stopped. Amazons sure aren't what they used to be, I was afraid it would never end.

Sullivan:
[09] Really? Why would you say that?

Ephiny:
[10] Remember when Velasca showed up? How many of us did you see shaking in our boots? When I was a girl, we'd have beaten off that guy's men before breakfast and then got on with our day. You should have heard Solari hollering "nono! First block, then turn, then thrust! Don't they teach you anything?!" If I could go deaf, I would have.

Sullivan:
[11] You saw it?

Ephiny:
[12] One of the hot tubs started doing some strange things a while ago, and we could see what was going on.

Sullivan:
[13] That's pretty odd.

Ephiny:
[14] Just another afterlife inconsistency, I guess. There seems to be a lot of that going around. It's a relief not to have to worry about it.

Sullivan:
[15] Looking back over your life, what really stands out for you?

Ephiny:
[16] Meeting Gabrielle and Xena for the first time, I think. It signaled so many changes. And I remember Gabrielle's confrontation with Velasca, right after Xena's first death. Any doubts I'd had about her strength and ability to be queen went right out the hut door after that. If she and Xena had stuck around, maybe things would have turned out differently.

Sullivan:
[17] What did you think of the way that things turned out for the Amazons?

Ephiny:
[18] Talk about a major cluster. It was like every Amazon over the age of 10 got wiped out when we fought Pompey. Those little skippies almost caused my eyes to drop out.

Sullivan:
[19] Skippies? What's a skippie?

Ephiny:
[20] Those little girls who were around when Gabrielle and Xena showed up with whatshername, Xena's kid. No wonder we died out if that's what we had to work with. You should have heard Melosa. In my day, we'd have sent 'em to bed without any dinner. And don't even get me started on the pointy-hatted pixie or that idiot, Varia.

Sullivan:
[21] Wasn't pixie, er, Amarice, dead by the time Gabrielle and Xena ran into the skippies...I mean, the young Amazons?

Ephiny:
[22] I guess so, but I didn't pay that much attention because nobody saw her die. Maybe nobody thought she was important enough to bother about. That's about all Amarice talks about, actually. "I wasn't important enough to die in front of everybody!" We'd have been happy to put her in the center of a circle of Amazons and take turns killing her, but she didn't particularly go for that.

Sullivan:
[23] I take it you don't have a high opinion of Varia.

Ephiny:
[24] What gave me away?

Sullivan:
[25] The word "idiot", actually.

Ephiny:
[26] Well, let's see. Not too bright, attempts to assassinate a queen and warleader during a time of war, and apparently believes Ares instead of realizing that, with Ares, it's always "all about me". There was a reason we never wanted much to do with gods.

Sullivan:
[27] Did Artemis happen to show up here?

Ephiny:
[28] What makes you think she's dead?

Sullivan:
[29] I thought Xena killed her.

Ephiny:
[30] Maybe, maybe not. Who really knows? It's like the afterlife mess...one inconsistency after another.

Sullivan:
[31] So what's ahead for you?

Ephiny:
[32] Same as usual. Wine, women, sparring, and hot tubs. It's a tough death, but somebody's got to do it.



Cyane, Ms. February


Sweathut nut.

The Cyane of Xena's past and Xena's shame


Sullivan:
[33] Cyane, it's a pleasure to inform you that you were voted as the second favorite Amazon.

Cyane:
[34] I'm touched, especially since I'm surprised anyone remembered me. It's been quite a long time since I was around.

Sullivan:
[35] That's true, but your appearance was pretty memorable. In more ways than one.

Cyane:
[36] I do look good in a sweathut.

Sullivan:
[37] Can't argue with that. Nor does just anyone get to open a can of whup-*ss on and survive it.

Cyane:
[38] She was pretty young and gullible at the time. Everything revolved around Xena, and that arrogance cost her dearly, later in life.

Sullivan:
[39] Would it be fair to say that it cost you and your tribe, as well?

Cyane:
[40] Considering where we are at them moment, I'd be pretty stupid not to agree with that.

Sullivan:
[41] How do you feel about the direction your tribe took after your death?

Cyane:
[42] Well, it wasn't too bad originally. There was a bunch of little Amazonettes running around with no real knowledge of our traditions. That kept Alti from noticing them, so they stayed alive, at least. Then Xena decides to bring them up to speed, and Alti turns up. Again. Next thing you know, it's dancing around in the moonlight and waving magic sticks in the air. It could have been worse, I suppose.

Sullivan:
[43] How so?

Cyane:
[44] At least my Amazonettes had clothes on. It's still a mystery to me how the Greek tribes could climb trees in those outfits and not do some serious damage to a significant area of one's body. Rope burn on your hands is bad enough. Bark burn on your thighs has gotta be painful. I stay away from pointed branches, myself.

Sullivan:
[45] I don't think they slid down the tree trunks, they used vines.

Cyane:
[46] My Amazons would have used vines. Melosa and Ephiny's Amazons would have used vines. Those little girls? I wouldn't bet my afterlife on it.



Melosa, Ms. March


Renee suddenly decided not to review her contract.

Melosa knew that centaurs did not eat hay.


Sullivan:
[47] Melosa, it's a pleasure to meet with you, and not simply because you were voted third favorite Amazon.

Melosa:
[48] Thank you. It's good to know that the fans remember me.

Sullivan:
[49] It's difficult to forget the, um, most mature of the amazons ever shown to us.

Melosa:
[50] It's nice to see some of you young people still remember the glory days of the Amazons.

Sullivan:
[51] I take it that you have reservations about the future of the Amazons?

Melosa:
[52] No wonder we died out. I reached the age I did because of clean, healthy, Amazon living. A little battle, a little sex, plenty of adherence to proper Amazon law...slack off on any of that, and look what you get. Giggling! Stupid wrestling! What ever happened to a good execution, or at the very least, a blinding? Where did it all go wrong?! Where was the wisdom, learning from the past to go forward to the future?

Sullivan:
[53] Uh, the wrestling was Xena's idea, I think. And Gabrielle didn't want him blinded.

Melosa:
[54] He'd have been killed in my day. Castration could have been an acceptable alternative, I suppose.

Sullivan:
[55] That's a little brutal, isn't it? For spying on a bunch of girls?

Melosa:
[56] Depends on your viewpoint, really. There was a reason behind not admitting males onto Amazon lands. Nothing but trouble comes of it. They're very high maintenance.

Sullivan:
[57] I take it you're familiar with the events at Helicon?

Melosa:
[58] Yes, and it was a sad day for the nation. So many lost.

Sullivan:
[59] How would you have handled the situation with Varia?

Melosa:
[60] I would have executed her. Not only did she make a cowardly long distance attack on the commander during a time when they were in enemy territory and on a war footing, but who would ever trust her again? Even demoted to regular fighter, would you trust her to follow orders or guard your back?

Sullivan:
[61] Well, no. No, I wouldn't.

Melosa:
[62] I don't imagine anyone else would, either. I don't think Varia is going to enjoy it here when the time comes. Always assuming she turns up here. If the Greek tribe moves to join with the various tribes further away, who knows what the afterlife situation will look like?

Sullivan:
[63] That's a good point. Things got pretty confusing.

Melosa:
[64] We used to teach young Amazons history and philosophy. Perhaps someone might consider adding a scroll on afterlife possibilities. You could pass that on to Gabrielle.

Sullivan:
[65] I'll do that. I'm sure we don't want any of them turning into Japa jellyfish.



Velasca, Ms. April


Talk to the hand.

Velasca was the first obsessive Gabrielle fan


Sullivan:
[66] We'll have to keep this short, Velasca. It's d*mn hot down here.

Velasca:
[67] If you can't handle a little heat, stay out of the lava. Wimps, that's what they're turning out these days.

Sullivan:
[68] I'm here to congratulate you on being chosen as fourth favorite Amazon.

Velasca:
[69] So there'd be no point in killing you? You're not in line for the queen's mask or anything?

Sullivan:
[70] No, I'm not an Amazon.

Velasca:
[71] Too bad for me. I could use a little excitement. How's little blondie these days? I bet she didn't vote for me as top Amazon.

Sullivan:
[72] She's fine, and no, she didn't vote for you. So what do you do for entertainment down here? I guess you're pretty much out of the loop when it comes to what's gone on.

Velasca:
[73] You'd be wrong. I've kept up. Information is power, at least until I get out of here. Then it'll be up close and personal control and domination.

Sullivan:
[74] Another run at the queen's mask? It didn't work out too well the last time.

Velasca:
[75] Sure it did, this is just a temporary setback. Let's not forget that a god had to help Gabrielle to trick me in here.

Sullivan:
[76] Let's not forget that Xena had quite a hand in that, too.

Velasca:
[77] Who?

Sullivan:
[78] You remember, the taller one?

Velasca:
[79] The only one who mattered was Gabrielle. She had what I wanted. I didn't let Melosa stand in my way, and I won't let Miss Peaceful stand in my way, either. You'll have to come and watch, it'll be fun.

Sullivan:
[80] You'd try that in public?

Velasca:
[81] Of course. There has to be some style to this sort of thing, not like that little wanna-be Velasca with the learning disability. She's used as a pawn by men not just once, but twice! In my day, we didn't do men's bidding, and we certainly didn't need their help. They do have some entertainment value, but that's about it.

Sullivan:
[82] Yes, I remember you produced the leash pretty quickly.

Velasca:
[83] It never hurts to be prepared. You never know when you might need one.

Sullivan:
[84] What do you think of the Amazons these days?

Velasca:
[85] Wimps. Those soldiers would never have made it into the village in my day, and we'd have disposed of them like the trash they were.

Sullivan:
[86] Ephiny said pretty much the same thing.

Velasca:
[87] Ephiny was a good Amazon. Totally misguided in her loyalties, of course, but she knew how to set up a perimeter.

Sullivan:
[88] What tradition would you change, if you could?

Velasca:
[89] The strongest should lead. That would be me, of course. Before you go, I have this little souvenir for you to pass on to Gabrielle.

Sullivan:
[90] How thoughtful. "I'm burning in here and all you get is this lousy rock. For now." in glowing letters. Oh, and it bursts into a flame ball. Isn't that...cute. And it comes with it's own carry bag.

Velasca:
[91] Just a little something so she keeps me in mind.



Gabrielle, Ms. May


Gabrielle just remembered she left the fire on.

Gabrielle, in Amazon mode


Sullivan:
[92] Thanks for giving me some time, Gabrielle. Sorry to tear you away from your holiday.

Gabrielle:
[93] That's alright. I was delighted to hear that I was voted fifth favorite Amazon. Ephiny, Melosa and Cyane are a hard act to follow.

Sullivan:
[94] Not Velasca?

Gabrielle:
[95] Don't push it.

Sullivan:
[96] How's Xena enjoying her time off?

Gabrielle:
[97] She's having a great time, now that I've talked Aphrodite into providing a regular supply of instant coffee.

Sullivan:
[98] How did you manage that? I thought 'Dite was totally against it.

Gabrielle:
[99] I told her that Xena would probably tell her not to come visit anymore.

Sullivan:
[100] Would Xena do that?

Gabrielle:
[101] If I asked her, yeah. I couldn't take it anymore. Caffeine withdrawal is a painful thing, and not just for the one who's hooked on it.

Sullivan:
[102] Xena's keeping my travel mug, isn't she.

Gabrielle:
[103] Sorry.

Sullivan:
[104] I'll get another one. Have you heard from the Amazons lately?

Gabrielle:
[105] No, after the pot incident, we've been keeping a low profile. I wouldn't expect to hear from them, anyway. They've got a lot to work out.

Sullivan:
[106] You're in the unique position of having first-hand knowledge of what might be called the glory days of the Amazon Nation, and a time when the Nation was fragmented and without a firm direction. What do you think of those changes?

Gabrielle:
[107] Some were good and some weren't. I don't think it was necessary to make challenges to the queen's mask to the death, and I was glad to see that changed, although I understood the reason behind the tradition. Bringing the tribes together was a good idea, but doing that in order to fight Rome was ridiculous. Overtures of peace aside, attack Rome and they're going to defend themselves. I don't think even Velasca would have gone that far, and she would never have been gullible enough to believe Ares. Or Bellerophon, for that matter.

Sullivan:
[108] Where do you see the Amazons five years from now?

Gabrielle:
[109] Somewhere in Africa, if they want to maintain their way of life. Look around you, city-states growing like weeds. This land is going to be wanted for expansion, and before you know it, there's 4-lane cartways running through the middle of the forest. I don't think people are going to find arrows shot at them out of the trees to be very funny.

Sullivan:
[110] Would you and Xena go with them if they did re-locate?

Gabrielle:
[111] No, we'd miss the traveling. We'd visit if they wanted us to, but not settle down with them.

Sullivan:
[112] There was a time when you considered that.

Gabrielle:
[113] And we all saw how that turned out. It wasn't a bad idea at the time. Artemis didn't interfere with the Amazons at all so I doubt she would even have known we were there. Eve would have been safe until she was a bit older and it would have been obvious that she was no threat. It probably wouldn't have worked for long, anyway. Xena's not much of a joiner.

Sullivan:
[114] Before I go, what one tradition would you change?

Gabrielle:
[115] Naked, mud-covered moon howling. Definitely.

Sullivan:
[116] Oh, and Velasca sent something for you.

Gabrielle:
[117] Lucky me. What is it, a fireball?

Sullivan:
[118] Close.

Gabrielle:
[119] Well, isn't this charming. You know, they don't make bad guys like they used to. I miss the old days.



Yakut, Ms. June


Glad she's not in a bikini.

Yakut, a self-made Amazon shamaness, but dead nonetheless


Sullivan:
[120] Thanks for taking a few moments, Yakut. I know you must be busy, but congratulations on being voted sixth favorite Amazon.

Yakut:
[121] Thanks. I'm surprised that anyone noticed me. I figured the skimpier the clothes, the higher the memory quotient. It's cold enough in the north to freeze the ceremonial bones right off you.

Sullivan:
[122] It's a bit chilly, that's for sure. How are your studies coming? Are you still pursuing them, even though you're dead?

Yakut:
[123] As strange as it may sound, the studies are even more intensive when one is dead. However, there are benefits too. It's easier when you don't have to cross over into the spirit world all the time. You don't have to rely on the memories of dead ancestors. Alti is less of an "event". Et cetera.

Sullivan:
[124] Is that what happened when you kept Alti's skull? Information failure?

Yakut:
[125] No, that was my idea. I admit that it didn't turn out very well. You have to remember, power is neutral, it's a question of how it's accessed. Alti gained it through the power of death and darkness. Cyane had it through life and light. One is selfish, one isn't. We're isolated up here, there are no teachers. I made a mistake and fortunately it didn't turn out to be fatal.

Sullivan:
[126] Xena was rather testy about that, as I recall.

Yakut:
[127] She was testy about a lot of stuff! Heh heh, that Xena. It was her baby, after all. Still, she didn't exactly have a lock on the moral high ground. If she hadn't killed off our leaders, I'd have had proper training and it wouldn't have been an issue at all. I was pretty young to be handed all those spiritual duties with only a bit of training. My intent wasn't malicious, like hers was.

Sullivan:
[128] You weren't in time to convince the other Amazons that power lay in preserving life, not taking it.

Yakut:
[129] It all worked out in the end. At least for the Northern Amazons if not for me. The dung hits the dirt from time to time, not much to be done about it.

Sullivan:
[130] I wanted to ask...why were you leading the defenses when the tribesmen attacked instead of one of the others? Weren't you the shamaness?

Yakut:
[131] If you ever get an answer to that, let me know because I have no clue.



Solari, Ms. July


Secretly has her own Aphrodite doll.

Solari, the first officer of Ephiny


Sullivan:
[132] Solari, it's great to see you. You look wonderful.

Solari:
[133] Thanks, good to see you, too. Wine?

Sullivan:
[134] Don't mind if I do, thanks. So what do you think of all the goings-on in the Nation these days? What's the view from the troops?

Solari:
[135] You wouldn't catch me following Varia. You'd never know when you were gonna get an arrow in the back for the good of the Nation. Shooting captured soldiers in the back didn't win her any points with me, either.

Sullivan:
[136] In fairness, she thought she was doing what she had to do so she could save her sisters and preserve the nation.

Solari:
[137] Yeah, sure she was. I notice that sacrificing herself wasn't high on her list. I'll say one thing for

Velasca: she came right at you.

Sullivan:
[138] Those fireballs were hard to miss, yeah.

Solari:
[139] It wasn't that any of us didn't want to see the Nation as strong and powerful. If we had to sacrifice our honor to do it, what would that say about Amazons? That we couldn't be trusted. That we'd make poor allies. We fought to preserve the Nation, we didn't fight just because we could.

Sullivan:
[140] Even Velasca just wanted to regain what you'd had.

Solari:
[141] The best leaders to follow are the ones who consider the lives of the warriors they're risking. We'll follow good leaders anywhere. Look at Gabrielle, she's not the best warrior around, but she cares about the lives she's risking. And when a life is lost, she feels that. She doesn't risk lives unless there's no choice. And she looks really hard for a choice.

Sullivan:
[142] If you could follow any queen you chose, who would it be?

Solari:
[143] Oh, no, you're not catching me in that trap. There's a lot of queens here, word would get around pretty quickly. Anyway, I don't get to choose. I'm just a poor 'ol warrior enjoying the fruits of a peaceful afterlife.

Sullivan:
[144] It does seem to be a pretty nice place to be.

Solari:
[145] You bet. Lots of good wine, and some of those Northern Amazons are kinda cute once you get them out of all those heavy furs.

Sullivan:
[146] Aren't they pretty young?

Solari:
[147] Not as young as some of those kids from my tribe. They didn't look old enough to be trusted with edged weapons. I expected them to stage fashion shows with their Aphrodite dolls every time I could force myself to look. No wonder things aren't what they used to be.



Varia, Ms. August


Really wishing Amazons only ate hay...

Varia, of the Amazons: The Next Generation


Sullivan:
[148] I'm glad that your queen released you from your duties so you could speak with me, Varia.

Varia:
[149] Believe me, so am I. Who knew that latrines had to be dug and filled in so frequently?

Sullivan:
[150] Why are you on latrine duty?

Varia:
[151] Something about remembering that there's more to being an Amazon than fighting and killing. No kidding. We seem to spend a lot of time eating, too, if you know what I mean.

Sullivan:
[152] You don't think that's a valuable lesson to learn?

Varia:
[153] That's not the point. I'm not doing anybody any good when I'm spending my time doing this.

Sullivan:
[154] Well, you're helping to prevent the spread of disease that could kill all your sisters. Isn't that important?

Varia:
[155] Look, I'm sure it's been a while, and you're having trouble remembering what it's like to be young and in your prime, but I'm a warrior. Yeah, I made a mistake, a couple of them, and I've learned my lesson. Really.

Sullivan:
[156] What lesson would that be?

Varia:
[157] Don't get caught when you try to kill someone. That was a joke!

Sullivan:
[158] Glad to hear it.

Varia:
[159] I'm not really cut out to be a queen, I guess. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should do it.

Sullivan:
[160] Why do you think Xena didn't kill you?

Varia:
[161] Which time? I think I remind of Xena when she was young. I don't think she'd be a very good queen, either. Neither one of us had much of a taste for administration. I want to do what I'm good at, and that's fighting.

Sullivan:
[162] What's ahead for you?

Varia:
[163] Next week, I'm promoted to kitchen duty. When that's over with, maybe I'll leave the Nation for a while, do some traveling. I've been an Amazon my whole life and maybe it's time to get some wider perspective. Of course, the Nation can't remain strong the way it was, it needs to adapt and change with the times. Maybe there's no re-living the old days, but the new ones could be as good. They'd just be different.

Sullivan:
[164] That's a very mature outlook, Varia.

Varia:
[165] Did I mention I hired a PR flack? And that there's a a Velasca Museum in Boethia I'd like to check out?



Otere, Ms. September




The popular catwalk look of the time.

Otere, with her more popular right hand Amazon, Yakut


Sullivan:
[166] I had a hard time tracking you down, Otere. You've been voted ninth favorite Amazon and yet, nobody could find you.

Otere:
[167] Why would anybody care where I am? It's not like I was around much.

Sullivan:
[168] I'm sure Yakut cares, and the other Northern Amazons. Xena gave you the leadership of the tribe.

Otere:
[169] As if that was any big deal. I was doing that before she showed up. Old people are like that. They think they're doing you this really big favor and never bother to ask if we want it or need it.

Sullivan:
[170] You sound a bit testy.

Otere:
[171] Who wouldn't be? Do you realize that I just vanished? I must have died, because I ended up here, but nobody knows anything about it. Nothing. And nobody ever even mentioned my name, it was like I just wasn't around one day and never had been. And it is difficult to find my picture on the Internet. It's like I almost never existed.

Sullivan:
[172] Did you ask Yakut about it?

Otere:
[173] Yeah, and she didn't have any explanation. But what does she care, she's all over the Internet. I think The Powers just forgot about me and I was doomed because of lousy notetaking skills.



Amarice, Ms. October


Just wants a hug.

Amarice, she wanted to be an Amazon so bad


Sullivan:
[174] You seem to be fitting in quite nicely, Amarice.

Amarice:
[175] I'm number 10 on the list! Did you see that? Number 10!

Sullivan:
[176] Oh, yeah, I saw it. Congratulations. You seem excited.

Amarice:
[177] Sure I'm excited. I've told everybody! Not that it makes up for killing me out of sight of everybody, but it's a start.

Sullivan:
[178] Yes, Ephiny mentioned that. How does it feel to be an authentic member of the Amazons.?

Amarice:
[179] Pretty good, although I didn't get to enjoy it very long. There was that unfortunate death thing before I could really get into it and take my rightful place.

Sullivan:
[180] That was a nice thing you did, adding a bead to your necklace for Xena's baby.

Amarice:
[181] Well, actually I did it for Gabrielle's sake. She was pretty understanding about the whole 'not really an Amazon' deal. I tried my best to fit in and become part of the Northern Amazons, be all the Amazon that Gabrielle figured I could be.

Sullivan:
[182] I understand that you died helping to defend them against a raiding party.

Amarice:
[183] Yeah, a lot of us ended up here. It's not so bad. The food's good, it's a whole lot warmer and, believe me, you get pretty tired of the smell of burning dung.



Terreis, Ms. November




She's no Robin Williams.

Terreis, gone but not forgotten


Sullivan:
[184] How are you, Terreis?

Terreis:
[185] I'm fine, and no need to tell me I'm number 11. Amarice has filled us all in. Many times.

Sullivan:
[186] You've been here for quite a while. Have you been able to keep an eye on your sisters?

Terreis:
[187] Sure. Not as clearly as we can now. We used to use running water, but we couldn't watch for long. It tended to have a bad effect on the digestion.

Sullivan:
[188] Why did you pass on your Right of Caste to Gabrielle? You'd just met her.

Terreis:
[189] Like I gasped out as I lay dying, she acted to save another life at risk to her own. That's the Amazon ideal. I liked her sense of humor, that she was curious and wasn't like the other girls she knew. We especially needed someone to lighten the place up a bit.

Sullivan:
[190] I wouldn't have expected a lot of laughs, considering the circumstances.

Terreis:
[191] Trust me, Melosa was a terrific sister and a great queen, but her sense of humor was an acquired taste. She's mellowed a bit since then.

Sullivan:
[192] Are you aware of the events that led to Gabrielle's taking the queen's mask.

Terreis:
[193] Absolutely. She handled the whole thing in the finest traditions of our queens. Of course Velasca was really ticked off. She always was a bit of a hothead.

Sullivan:
[194] That was really bad, Terreis.

Terreis:
[195] How about, Velasca's behavior was so bad, it just blew me away?

Sullivan:
[196] That's worse.

Terreis:
[197] Gabrielle was too smart to fall for it?

Sullivan:
[198] Ouch. Now it's painful.

Terreis:
[199] So how is Velasca, these days.

Sullivan:
[200] Still pretty burned up about the whole thing.

Terreis:
[201] If I wasn't already dead, that would have killed me, it was so bad.



Anokin, Ms. December




Has the munchies.

Anokin, her time was brief but memorable


Sullivan:
[202] So, Anokin, is it?

Anokin:
[203] That's right. I'm surprised you remembered. I'm surprised anybody remembered.

Sullivan:
[204] Enough to make you number 12 on the list of favorite Amazons.

Anokin:
[205] They obviously ran out of Amazons to pick from, didn't they.

Sullivan:
[206] Well, no. There were others. I imagine you were chosen because you were obviously important to Xena.

Anokin:
[207] She was fond of me in her own young evil Xena bizarre way, which played right into Alti's hands.

Sullivan:
[208] You looked a bit out of it the first time we saw you.

Anokin:
[209] Smoking the funny stuff does that.

Sullivan:
[210] So you and Xena were, um...close?

Anokin:
[211] Do I have to say?

Sullivan:
[212] No, not if you don't want to. It's just that Xena behaved a bit..oddly, if you were sort of a servant or a handy source for a sacrifice.

Anokin:
[213] In those days, Xena behaved a bit oddly about everything. Or maybe she just had a thing for short blondes. Who knows, who cares. I ended up dead anyway.



Neb-U-Lah! Ms. Millennium


Amazon wanna-be.

Neb-u-la! Neb-u-la! Neb-u-la!


Sullivan:
[214] Okay, Nebula. We both know you're out there behind that bush. C'mon on and let's get this over with so I can head for the airport.

Nebula:
[215] It's about time, what's taken so long? I've been hanging around here for days!

Sullivan:
[216] Hey, you could have left any time you wanted.

Nebula:
[217] What, and deprive you of the chance to interview the woman who would have been numero uno except for a slight oversight? I did you a favor.

Sullivan:
[218] Yeah, sure. Which 'slight oversight' would that be, exactly? The oversight that you were never on the show? Maybe that you weren't an Amazon? How 'bout a plain, unexciting statement that nobody voted for you? How about all of them?

Nebula:
[219] You're sure not as much fun as you used to be. Getting a bit old, are you?

Sullivan:
[220] Worried about getting a bit forgotten, are you?

Nebula:
[221] Of course not. I'd have been a great Amazon. A wonderful queen.

Sullivan:
[222] Really. Who's your favorite Amazon?

Nebula:
[223] Uh, well, I can't really choose just one. So many to pick from...you know how it is.

Sullivan:
[224] Okay, so let's hear you just name one. Other than Gabrielle, of course.

Nebula:
[225] That's a low blow and absolutely not worthy of you.

Sullivan:
[226] Whatever.

Nebula:
[227] I'D BE A GREAT AMAZON! IWOULDIWOULDIWOULD!

Sullivan:
[228] Bit of a temper there, Nebula. Why don't I talk to Gabrielle the next time I see her. Maybe we can work something out. You could be an honorary wanna-be Amazon, like Amarice or something like that. You do have the basics of the outfit down.

Nebula:
[229] Really? You'd do that for me?

Sullivan:
[230] Anything to get out of here and get a coffee.

Nebula:
[231] You'll let me know?

Sullivan:
[232] You bet. My people will call your people and we'll do lunch.



Articles

Shelley Sullivan. Gabrielle Scrolls, Scroll 1, The.
WHOOSH #10 (9707).

Shelley Sullivan. Gabrielle Scrolls, Scroll 2, The.
WHOOSH #11 (9708).

Shelley Sullivan, Tamara Poirier, Bret Ryan Rudnick, Dinah Malone, Katrina Blau, Mary Draganis, Darise Error, Beth Gaynor, Onita@netcom.com, Kym Masera Taborn.
When Titles Collide: A Title Wave. WHOOSH #20 (9805)

Shelley Sullivan. Gabrielle and the Joxer Syndrome.
WHOOSH #21 (9806).

Shelley Sullivan and Kym Masera Taborn. Grrlfriends Of XENA Calendar Interviews.
WHOOSH #28 (9901).

Shelley Sullivan and Kym Masera Taborn. Dead in the Xenaverse Calendar Interviews.
WHOOSH! #40 (2000/01).

Shelley Sullivan and Kym Masera Taborn. Recurring in the XenaVerse Calendar Interviews.
WHOOSH #52 (2001/01)

Shelley Sullivan, with Xena, Gabrielle, and Aphrodite. Xena: il tormento e l'estasi 2002 Calendar Interviews.
WHOOSH #64 (2002/01)


Biography

Shelley Sullivan Shelley Sullivan
When I'm not fly-fishing, I'm on a baseball field. When it's raining and I can't do either, I'm forced to work. Unfortunately, only one of the foregoing actually pays.


Favorite episodes: DREAMWORKER (03/103), THE GREATER GOOD (21/121), THE QUEST (37/213), IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE (24/124), REMEMBER NOTHING (26/202), A NECESSARY EVIL (38/214), THE PRICE (44/220), the rift episodes, and ONE AGAINST AN ARMY (59/313).
Favorite line: Xena about the villagers: "Kill 'em all!" TIES THAT BIND (20/120)
First episode seen: SINS OF THE PAST (01/101)
Least favorite episode: FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS (40/216), ULYSSES (43/219), KING OF ASSASSINS (54/308), THE QUILL IS MIGHTIER... (56/310), KING CON (61/315), FORGET ME NOT (63/317), FINS FEMMES AND GEMS (64/318), IN SICKNESS AND IN HELL

 

 




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