Whoosh! Now Maggie, if you ever want to kiss me it probably should not be around Lena, okay?
The blossoming triangle reunites and
harmony is restored to the universe

Lena Kundera

January 29, 2004

(Lena appearance)
Last update: 02/03/04

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Lena Kundera (Olga Sosnovska)
Bianca Montgomery
Reggie Montgomery
Erica Kane
Kendall Hart
Jackson Montgomery


Lena continues to watch Kendall's trial and actually talks to Maggie.


From The Official Site at ABC.com:

No mention of the Hot Polish Fox

From About All My Children

The witness is confused and asks, “Did you say not? Well, no…the child is most definitely Michael Cambias.’” Erica cries out in the audience in shock. Livia has no further questions. In the audience Bianca whispers to Lena she thanks God for Ryan Lavery. Court recess...

Outside the courtroom, Bianca tells Maggie she did good, but Maggie wonders if she hurt Kendall. Bianca is sure Maggie made is seem like it is possible that it may have been Michael that night with Kendall. Lena agrees that she really helped out by showing there were many others who also wanted to kill Michael Cambias.

From Soap Slut

No mention of Lena.


This all gay recap is by C.K..
Read all the All Gay Re-caps at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheAllGayRecap/.

The All Gay Re-Cap is on strike this week.


This parody is by LizzieT.

Aidan brought Fred back to Pine Valley.
Aidan: Ere we go mite - a lovely shack for yew tew stigh in.
Fred: Great. I'll just stand on my head here in the corner.
Aidan: Is that a part of yew're New Ige rewteen?
Fred: No. I just think I might enjoy the show more if all the blood rushes to my head.
:::knock knock:::
Aidan: Blimey! It's Boyd.
Boyd: Why did you bring him here?
Aidan: Settle down guvnor. No one will foind im ere. It's not loik Oi id im in the bloody boat ouse.
Fred: Hey, I've seen you somewhere before.
Boyd: We've never met. You probably just recognize me from watching the show.
Fred: That can't be it. You're never on.
Aidan: Yew stigh ere loik a gewd bloke and Oi'll go see ow Kendall is dewing.
Fred: Whatever. Just don't let that Babe character find me. I don't want to get stuck in her storyline.

Tad had a visitor.
Krystal: I just popped over with my copy of the Kama Sutra. Care for a little reading lesson?
Tad: I'm sorry but I just don't have time for a wild sex romp with a more than willing half dressed woman. Liza's on her way over....Did you ever think you'd hear those lines coming out of my mouth?
Krystal: Suit yourself. I'm leaving before the Angry Villagers decide to have a 2-for-1 hanging in the town square.
Liza: Tad! Thank goodness you opened the door when you did. I lost the Angry Villagers at the 4 way stop but they're not too far behind.
Tad: I'm glad you're here Liza. I've decided I want to have a relationship with you.....all right, this has to be someone else's script.
Liza: No, it's yours. Now let's head for the bedroom - off camera of course.
Tad: All right. At least we'll spare the audience some of the gory details. This show does air during lunch hour you know.

Krystal went to see David.
David: What are you doing here?
Krystal: Spouting a lot of suggestive dialogue about chests and tickles.
David: In other words, seeing if we have any chemistry?
Krystal: You got it. Tad and I don't seem to be setting the world on fire.
David: I'd heard that. It seems Tad and Simone had a bigger fan base than anyone expected. But why come here?
Krystal: Free clinics are my home away from home.
David: Somehow I'm not surprised.
Krystal: So what can you tell me about Tad.
David: Just that he's basically a nice guy even though he does have that silly "cad" theme song.
Krystal: I know he really loved his wife.
David: He may have loved her but I'm the one that has her sweater. Take my advice Krystal and stay away from Tad.
Krystal: You're warning me away from a man you have a rocky history with. I smell a triangle on the horizon.
David: A triangle on this show? Will wonders never cease?

Krystal went back to Tad's.
Krystal: So are you ready to try out page 54?
Tad: You got it. Once again I have sex with two women in the space of a few minutes.
Krystal: Last year they had the "what women want" episode. Seems like this year it's "what teenage boys fantasize about".

At the courthouse things were in an uproar.
Greenlee: You can't arrest my daddy. He's the only person in town who can stand me.
Jack: Don't worry Greenlee. I'll be fine.
Greenlee: Sure. You'll be fine, but what about meeeeeeeeeeee?
Bianca: We have to do something Mom. We can't let Uncle Jack go to jail.
Erica: We just have to trust him when he says he knows what he's doing.
Baby: Right. Whenever a soap character says they know what they're doing it's a sure sign disaster will follow. Just like when you say you've never been happier you'll be hit by a train in the next five minutes.
Judge: Court will resume now. Call your next witness.
Alan: Ms. Stone, what did you see the night Michael Cambias disappeared?
Maggie: I saw two people carrying something.
Alan: Was one of those people the defendant?
Maggie: Yes.
Livia: Who was the other person?
Maggie: I don't know.
Livia: Was it an average size person?
Maggie: I guess.
Livia: So it could have been Michael Cambias himself?
Alan: I object. The witness said average size not a short little runt.
Judge: Over ruled. To a person as short as Ms. Stone, Michael Cambias might appear to be average size. Call your next witness.
Alan: I'd like to call the extra who just entered the courtroom with a document that I didn't bother to read. Ms. Extra, you have the results of the DNA test on the defendant's unborn child.
Extra: Yes. We matched fetal cells from the defendant's blood with slime trail cells left by the deceased.
Alan: And you determined that she is not carrying Michael's child.
Extra: No. We determined that she is having Michael's baby.
Alan::::gasp:::No further questions.
Livia: I only have one question. Have you ever seen a lawyer so stupid he wouldn't at least look at the results before he put a witness on the stand to testify about them?
Extra: No I haven't. And I know a lot about law. I've never missed an episode of The Practice.
Alan: Justin, you have to save the case. You have to find the minister that married Kendall and Michael.
Justin: I don't wannna.
Alan: Unless you find him you can't be a Power Ranger anymore.
Justin: No fair!
Alan: And no dessert for you either.
Justin: :::sob::::
Aidan: Don't worry Kendall. Oi've idden the minister where no one will ever foind im.
Kendall: Oh Aidan, what would I do without you?
:::kiss kiss kiss:::
Mia: Sloooowwwwwlllllyyyy, I turned, step by step.......
Kendall: Hi Mommy.
Erica: Don't hi Mommy me you miserable excuse for a daughter.
Kendall: Uh oh. Another "I hate Kendall" day?
Erica: You got it. I told you the audience liked it too much when we got along.


Hey Lena, have you decided to go back to being bi-sexual yet?

Lena finds herself in the peanut gallery


Livia: Jackson Montgomery just took a major bullet for the defense team. Did you see that jury's faces? They don't know what hit them.

Livia: But how would you say that he or she compared in size to the first figure? Was it another human being of regular size?
Maggie: Yes.
Livia: Not an NBA star or, say, one of the munchkins?
Maggie: Yes, that's right.

Livia: Could it have been a duffle bag?
Maggie: Yes.
Livia: A duffle bag full of bowling balls for all you know. Of course, Mr. Singer, withdrawn.

Maggie: I was there to kill Michael Cambias, but I chickened out.


Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a) [Lena in background of trial]

Greenlee: I can't stand this.
Ryan: All right, you come with me. Come on.
Livia: You doing all right?
Kendall: What just happened in there?
Livia: Well, I'd say Jackson Montgomery just took a major bullet for the defense team. Did you see that jury's faces? They don't know what hit them.
Kendall: Yeah, well, so, then, that's good, right?
Livia: That's very good. That's what reasonable doubt looks like.
Kendall: Well, I mean, what about Jackson? They can't hold onto him for long, can they?
Livia: Well, probably not, but it could cost him a lot.
Kendall: Well, he's not supposed to get hurt. No one else is supposed to get hurt.
Livia: Well, he could have to pay a major fine, do some prison time, and it could cost him his career in the law.
Erica: No, I don't want you to give one second's thought to anything that Greenlee had to say. Greenlee doesn't know Jack. Greenlee doesn't know him the way we do, and she never will.
Bianca: I know, but she loves him and she wants to help. So do I. There's got to be something we can do.
Erica: You know what we can do? We can do what Jack wants us to do. We can listen to him, we can trust him, and we can believe that he knows what he's doing.
Bianca: What if he's wrong? I mean, what if this is a huge mistake, taking this incredible risk for Kendall?
Erica: Well, honey, I hope not.

***** (clip b) [Lena reacts to Maggie's testimony]

Alan: Ms. Stone, what did you see when you went to the deceased's condo that evening?
Maggie: I saw two people taking something out of --
Alan: Two people? You're sure? It was dark.
Maggie: Yes, it was dark, but they were in the shadows. I could tell that there were two people.
Alan: And can you identify one or more of the people you saw?
Maggie: Yes, one. I couldn't see faces, but I could hear her voice.
Alan: One person. You could hear her voice. And who was that one person you could identify? Did you make a statement to the police as to the identity of the person you saw?
Maggie: Yes.
Alan: Well, who did you tell the police that person was?
Maggie: I told them it was Kendall Hart.
[Gallery reacts]
Alan: The defendant? Ms. Stone, you seem reluctant to confirm your prior statement. You weren't lying to the police, were you?
Livia: Objection. Argumentative.
Judge: Sustained.
Alan: Of course you didn't lie to the police. The person you saw on that dark and shadowy night was indeed the defendant, Kendall Hart, correct?
Livia: Asked and answered, your honor.
Judge: Move it along, Mr. Singer.
Alan: You testified that the two people you saw were carrying something away from Mr. Cambias' home. Can you describe what that was?
Maggie: Not really. It was dark.
Alan: Well, try it. Tell the court what it looked like to you -- size, weight, color.
Maggie: I'd say it was about from here to say here. Kind of oversized, I guess.
Alan: So between five and six feet long?
Maggie: Yes. I don't know what color it was.
Alan: And the weight, more or less?
Maggie: That I don't know.
Alan: But it took two people to carry it?
Maggie: I guess. I mean yes.
Alan: No further questions, your honor.
Judge: Ms. Frye.
Livia: Ms. Stone, you're doing very well. Thank you for your testimony. Now, you testify that you were unable to identify the other person, is that correct?
Maggie: Yes, that's correct.
Livia: But how would you say that he or she compared in size to the first figure? Was it another human being of regular size?
Maggie: Yes.
Livia: Not an NBA star or, say, one of the munchkins?
Maggie: Yes, that's right.
Livia: Now, so you can't really rule out that the person you saw was, indeed, Michael Cambias?
[Close up of Lena]
Alan: Objection, your honor. Asks for conclusion.
Livia: I didn't ask her to conclude that it was Michael Cambias. I asked her if it could have, in fact, been Michael Cambias alive and kicking?
Judge: She said it was a human being of regular size. That's all she knows. Move it along.
Livia: Of course, your honor. Now, the object that the two regular-sized human beings was carrying -- you couldn't identify what that was, either, could you?
Maggie: No.
Livia: Could it have been a duffle bag?
Maggie: Yes.
Livia: A duffle bag full of bowling balls for all you know. Of course, Mr. Singer, withdrawn. I'm just so curious. What were you doing there that night in such a fortunate vantage point?
Maggie: I was there to kill Michael Cambias, but I chickened out.
[Bianca shot]
[Gallery reacts]
livia: Nothing further, your honor.
Judge: You may step down.
Judge: Mr. Singer, are you ready to call your next witness?
Alan: I call technician Sarah Tepfenhardt. She has the results of the D.N.A. Test conducted on Mrs. Cambias.

***** (clip c) [Bianca talks to Lena at the trial]

Alan: And you now testify that the chain of evidence has been observed 100%?
Ms. Tepfenhardt: Yes, sir, I do.
Alan: Will you establish for the court the degree of reliability of the D.N.A. Test you performed on Mrs. Cambias' unborn child?
Ms. Tepfenhardt: Well, let me clarify. The test is performed on fetal cells carried in the pregnant woman's bloodstream. The test is universally considered to be 99.9% reliable. Tissue from Michael Cambias obtained from the medical examiner's office was used as the comparison to the fetal cells.
Alan: And you've supplied affidavits for the court, signed by witnesses, certifying the authenticity of the tissue used for verification?
Ms. Tepfenhardt: Yes, I have.
Alan: So, finally, Ms. Tepfenhardt, may we now say, based on the analysis of the fetal cells, that the father of the child Mrs. Cambias is carrying is not Michael Cambias?
Ms. Tepfenhardt: I'm sorry, did you say not the father?
Alan: Yes, I said not the father.
Ms. Tepfenhardt: Well, no, the child that Mrs. Cambias is carrying is most definitely Michael Cambias'.
[Gallery reacts]
Erica: Oh, my god.
[Judge bangs gavel]
Alan: No further questions.
Livia: No questions, your honor.
[Bianca talking to Lena]
Bianca: Thank god for Ryan Lavery.
Judge: Court will stand in recess until tomorrow.
[Judge bangs gavel]

***** (clip d) [Lena compliments Maggie on her testimony]

[amc040129d-inc1 starts]
Bianca: You did good.
Maggie: Are you sure? Do you think I hurt Kendall?
Bianca: No, I think that you made it seem like it's possible that she was with Michael that night.
Maggie: I really swear, I don't know who else I saw.
Lena: You really helped out by admitting you wanted to kill Michael yourself. You proved that there was more than one person who wanted the man dead that night.
[amc040129d-inc1 ends]
Bianca: Mom -- are you ok?


I have the following clips (incompletes are marked "inc"):
amc040129a-inc1.mov (2.3m; 0:19) Lena compliments Maggie on her testimony

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