Whoosh! There's still time, we can blow this soap opera and catch the next jet to Prague...
Bianca watches Lena as Lena
watches Bianca at the trial

Lena Kundera

February 04, 2004

(Lena appearance)
Last update: 02/08/04

Previous Episode |AMC Guide |Episode Guide |Next Episode



Lena Kundera (Olga Sosnovska)
Bianca Montgomery


Lena watches the trial and reacts, but says nothing...


From The Official Site at ABC.com:

No Lenameister mentioned.

From About All My Children

Lomax goes on that he blessed the union between Kendall and Mr. Cambias, and sees he hasn't lost his touch-she's already with child! Aidan tries to get him out of there, but Alan Singer overhears and asks if he's Fred Lomax? The Rev says he is, but not to tell anyone as he's on a spiritual quest. Singer orders the bailiff to get him inside, now! Justin laughs as he thanks the ladies for delivering their witness right into the prosecution's hands, as Kendall calls Greenlee an evil bitch out to destroy her. Greenlee protests that's not how it is; Ryan stares at her as she asks him to tell Kendall she didn't do anything! When Lavery remains silent, Greenlee insists they were trying to get that maniac out of here, but Kendall snaps that they've been after her for months. Aidan tells them to hang on, that Mia didn't do anything, but Miss Saunders admits it was her fault that Lomax got out last night, but she didn't do it on purpose. Aidan takes Mia into another room as Greenlee repeats that it was an accident. Kendall lunges for her, and Livia holds her client back as she shouts at Greenlee to watch her back, "I am going to finish what you started!" Opal, Lena, Bianca and Reggie stare as Greenlee protests that she is so overreacting-they were thisclose to getting that space case out of here! Opal thinks she's sunk so low that she has to look up to see a snake's belly, while Bianca and Reggie can't believe what she did. Greenlee turns to Ryan and swears she wouldn't try to hurt Kendall after their promise, "You believe me, don't you?"

From Soap Slut

Words cannot express how much I loved this episode...


This all gay recap is by C.K..
Read all the All Gay Re-caps at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheAllGayRecap/.


  • Maggie macks her way through Pine Valley.
  • Simone takes her name off the list.
  • Jack jogs Erica’s memory.
  • Greenlee is to generosity as wolf is to liars.
  • Liza knocks an extension off of Tad’s you know what.
  • Kendall is revealed.

The Set-Up – Behind the Car of Denial, Maggie bruises Jamie’s lips. Again.

At the penthouse, Erica feels fine, so fine she blows her own mind, hey Erica! What? Oh, right.

At the courthouse, Greenlee’s ass is in a sling and swinging precariously close to the edge of the precipice.

Fusion - Simone explains that, while trying to empty Carloser’s gun, she accidentally shot Officer Lyman’s patrol car.

Oh, the irony: how many times has Sean cuffed Simone in the last 9 months? Don’t answer that.

Simone: "He was a gentleman, a man of his word, and I really miss him."

Oh for crying out loud: Carloser was in a coma for longer than I’ve been alive, he finally died and this damn show is still fluffing the dead weight?

The Car Of Denial – Maggie’s desperate to prove that – well, I’m not sure and neither is she, but she seems convinced that throwing herself at the first penis dangling in her general vicinity will make clear her whatevercakes sexuality.

I’m loathe to delve deeper into this because using the words Maggie and depth in the same sentence only makes sense if we’re discussing how far down the well we’re all willing to push her but, having said that and begrudging a journey of sexual discovery to no one, yesterday’s last-ditch commando starfish kiss and today’s penis grab only lead me to believe Maggie is either fumbling to cover her embarrassment or desperate to prove to herself she’s anything but gay. Yes, just the type of woman Bianca should choose over the one who at very least knows she likes cleavage over jocks.

The Penthouse – Jack wants to keep Erica and the Pink Accident she’s wearing out of the courtroom while she wishes he’d just stop treating her like a child no matter how much she looks and sounds like one and she’s fine, damn it, FINE!

Jack: "You went to Kendall last night and you tried to kill her."
Erica: "Well, I would know if I had done something so monstrous."

Oh, shut up, Erica: even when you’re wide awake you’re blinder than Ray Charles when it comes to your suckitude.

The Courthouse – In the witness room, Aidan rips into Mia for not having told him Freddy escaped.

Mia: "Aidan, are we ok?"

Oh, sure, why wouldn’t you be? It’s not as if you fucked up or anything! You’re such an idiot. Hey, didn’t Liza throw you out the window once? Maybe she could try that again.

Outside, Greenlee is desperate for Ryan to believe that she was attempting to get Tin Foil Freddy out of the Courthouse and didn’t, as he and the others believe, purposely bring him inside in order to sink Kendall’s case.

Ryan: "You are so, so selfish and without compassion and generosity that you can destroy a woman who is barely hanging on to her life by a fingernail."

I’m going to cry about this later but - Ryan? Word.

Greenlee: "I just want a chance to explain what happened."

Wolf. Wolfity, wolfity wolf. One too many times, Greenlee.

Fusion – Liza walks in as Simone and Tad are kissing and, to his surprise, chooses to praise his mad bedroom skills rather than kick his ass – and then breaks Simone’s heart when she tells her she and Tad are together.

Liza, I’d much rather see you trap Tad’s balls into a very, very tight tourniquet than pretending you’re ok with him sleeping around and then picking off the excess women one by one. Well, I don’t want to see it see it, but it would be so much more dignified, not to mention logical – unless you plan to throw out Tad’s groupies for the rest of your life – because the problem is with him, not them.

The Courthouse – Bianca is too busy staring at Kendall’s back in full throttle Kinks mode to register how potentially devastating Freddy’s testimony might be; while Tin Foil is on the stand, Boyd walks in and takes a seat, only to try and escape once Freddy mentions he can see the "ghost of Michael Cambias."

Smooth, Boyd: very smooth. Did you even think about not sitting down once you saw Freddy on the stand? Is everyone in this town a complete moron?

The Penthouse - Myrtle! Hee. I see my girlfriend and I just go to a very happy place: I don’t care that you’re a lush or that your make up runs races on your face. Call me.

Myrtle seems to think that Freddy will help Kendall’s case, but Erica points out that, if that were true, he would have been called by the defense.

Myrtle: "Well, yes. Oh my. Well, what about that blackout of yours last night?"

Hee. Myrtle, you’re so out of it: that’s why Mary is my back-up girlfriend for when you can’t…you know.

Erica gets stuck in the "Kendall is her father’s daughter" loop and prattles on about the effect the truth had on her while blithely ignoring her own hand in Kendall’s fucked-up ways.

Erica: "The only way to stop this vicious cycle is to end it the way Bianca did: she knew that and that’s why she terminated her pregnancy."

Oh, if only my hand could make it past your hair and slap your head, Erica. You know what else could end the "vicious cycle?" Firing McTool, she of the "rape is a love story" craptastic belief. Really, you can’t make this shit up.

The Limo Of Belief – Jamie breaks into a limo and, once inside, Maggie sucks face with him again while the leather groans.

I know how you feel, leather: what’s it like under all that confused dead weight?

The Courthouse – Inside, Livia, with the help of a "shape-shifting alien," paints Tin Foil Freddy for the loon he really is.

Pfft, as if Odo would ever set foot in Pine Valley.

Outside, Erica chews out Greenlee for daring to come near The Legacy.

Erica: "Greenlee, why don’t you just face it: you’re nothing but a pariah. Why don’t you just take your fangs and swim off into the sunset."

A piranha, Erica: pariahs don’t have fangs. Oh, wait.

The Last Scene - Greenlee runs into the courtroom while Kendall testifies and, in the most natural act her arms have ever pulled off, rips off her clothes to reveal VolderPuch.

Well, at least one thing in this town should look authentic.

TOMORROW ON ALL MY CHILDREN: David wants to talk with Adam about Michael’s killer; Ryan is furious with Greenlee; Judge Lampert makes a ruling; Erica tells Bianca they need to clear the air.


This parody is by LizzieT.

Maggie and Jamie spent time together.
Jamie: Wow! What is this about?
Maggie: Nothing. I always kiss people that I nearly run over. Or people that tell me they're leaving for Europe with another woman.
Jamie: Huh?
Maggie: Never mind. So are you still seeing Babe?
Jamie: No. I think everyone's given up on that storyline ever being interesting. What about you? Are you seeing anyone?
Maggie: Nope. Not a soul. Just because I kissed someone unexpectedly doesn't mean we're dating or anything. She's in love with someone else.
Jamie: Huh?
Maggie: Never mind. So let's do something wild and crazy to prove that we can be entertaining as a couple and maybe get our own storyline.
Jamie: OK. How about breaking into this limo and making out?
Maggie: Sounds like a plan. :::kissssss:::::So much for the part about us being entertaining as a couple. You think we might get a storyline anyway?
Jamie: Maybe. Lots of the storylines aren't all that entertaining but they get air time anyway.

Simone continued to confess.
Simone: I pulled the trigger. I fired the gun.
Tad: You mean you killed Michael?
Simone: Don't be silly. That was just a cliffhanger to end yesterday's show. I just fired a gun and shot Officer Sean's car door.
PFKAJP: That is all? For this you were in the nightmare episode? All this buildup for that lame explanation? In my country such a thing would not be done.
Tad: You haven't been in Pine Valley that long have you?
Simone: I'm so happy that I have you Tad.
Tad: Yeah....well....let's make out.
Liza: Hmmm, the man I just boinked is passionately kissing another woman. You'd think I'd be humiliated that he's obviously not thinking about me. But no, I'm just more determined to have him for myself. This seems to be a trend in Pine Valley these days. Oh Simone, I couldn't help noticing you and Tad. I hate to be the one to tell you this.
Simone: Tell me what?
Liza: Tad and I are back together. I'm so sorry to hurt you. Why you're the best friend I've had since Dixie and Jenny.
Simone: I don't believe you. If you and Tad were really an item the Angry Villagers would have torched the studio by now.

Jack talked to Erica.
Jack: So how are you feeling this morning?
Erica: Wonderful. Not the least bit psychotic - at least so far. I'll just have some toast and we'll be off to the courthouse....why is there a spoon instead of a butter knife?
Jack: No reason. I don't think you should go to court today.
Erica: Why not?
Jack: I'm just afraid you might beat the judge to death with a gavel.
Erica: Huh?
Jack: Nothing. You don't remember what you did last night do you?
Erica: Did it involve costumes?
Jack: No.
Erica: Then I don't remember.
Jack: You tried to kill Kendall when you hallucinated that she was Michael.
Erica: Don't be silly. I did that years ago with Dimitri. There's no way they'd recycle that story again.
Jack: This is AMC.
Erica: So I tried to kill Kendall last night did I? But that was last night. I think today is an "I Like Kendall" day, not an "Erica is nuts"day.
Jack: Just the same I asked Myrtle to stay with you. Here she is now.
Erica: Come on Myrtle. We're going to the courthouse.
Myrtle: I don't think that's a good idea.
Erica: I just have to be there. Something deep down inside me tells me I must go.
Myrtle: Maternal instinct?
Erica: No. I've just heard the final scene today is a must-see and I don't want to miss it.

There was chaos at the courthouse.
Kendall: How could you bring Fred here?
Greenlee: I didn't. I swear.
Alan: Fred? Bring him in to the courtroom. We have our witness.
Justin: Yesssss! Power Rangers rule!
Kendall: I hate you Greenlee. I'll hate you forever.
Opal: If you aren't lower than a hung over polecat skulking his way to the outhouse.
Bianca: You make me sick.
Reggie: I thought I didn't like you before.
Ryan: We're through. I'm evicting you from the Kendall/Ryan/Greenlee triangle.
David: Leo would have been so disappointed.
Jack: Maybe we can get those blood tests that proved you were my daughter done over.
Erica: I may have an occasional "I hate Kendall" day but every day is an "I hate Greenlee" day.
Baliff: :::pptttt::::
Angry Villager: This girl is trouble. Where's my torch?
Michael's ghost: I hate to tell you this Greenlee but the last person in town as unpopular as you was me.

Fred took the stand.
Alan: Did you marry Kendall and Michael?
Fred: Yes I did.
Alan: Is this a picture of the man Kendall married?
Fred: No. The guy she married didn't have a slime trail. The man she married is over there.
Alan: Let the record show that the witness pointed to an extra in the back of the courtroom.
Boyd: (*%^&** I'm not an extra! I'm just not on that much!
Livia: Fred, how often do you see aliens?
Judge: What?
Livia: It says here that an alien was the witness to the ceremony.
Justin: Aliens? Keeewwwwwlllll!
Judge: This man is clearly insane. Jurors disregard his testimony. Mr. Lomax, you're excused.
Justin: Wait! I wanna hear more about the aliens. Did they look like ET? I love ET. I wish I could find an alien just like him to be my friend.
Judge: Kendall, it's time for you to be cross-examined.
Greenlee: I'll show you cross examination! Let me at her!
Kendall: I can't believe this. I feel just like Janet Jackson.
Baby: Hey world, meet my cousin the pillow.
Juror 1: That Greenlee person is awful! I hate her!
Juror 2: Death to Greenlee! Kendall forever!
Juror 3: I'll always love Greenlee. I don't care what she does.
Juror 4: Right. It's a blatant attempt to manipulate the audience into feeling even more sympathy for Kendall by making Greenlee the ultimate villain.
Juror 5: What an ending! Are you sure this isn't Friday?


Just when you thought it was safe to watch AMC again...Kenlee strikes

Greenlee goes psycho and tears off Kendall's clothes in open court


Livia: Reverend Lomax, when was the first time you were visited by shape-shifting aliens?

Alan: The prosecution rests -- again, Your Honor.


Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a) [Lena watches Greenlee start to meltdown in the courtroom]

Fred: Oh, remember the facilitator, Mrs. Cambias. I blessed the union of you and Mr. Cambias, and I see I haven't lost my touch --
Mia: Shh. Shh.
Fred: You're already with child. Congratulations.
Aidan: Fred, come with me.
Fred: What?
Aidan: There are too many mushrooms. Let's get you out --
[Lena in background as everyone watching Lomax]
Alan: Hold it right there. Frederick Lomax?
Fred: That's my name, but don't tell anyone. I'm on a spiritual quest.
Alan: Bailiff?
Bailiff: Yes, sir.
Alan: Get him inside, now.
Bailiff: Ok.
Fred: Ah, greetings, Commander.
Bailiff: Yes, sir.
Fred: Have you seen the others?
Bailiff: Right this way.
Fred: Where are we going?
Justin: Ladies, thank you so much for delivering the witness right into our laps.
Greenlee: Wait a minute. Wait! Hold on --
Kendall: You are a hateful b****. I knew you wouldn't stop until you destroyed me.
Greenlee: That's not how it is. Ryan, tell her I didn't do anything.

***** (clip b) [Lena watches as Greenlee becomes a Pine Valley pariah]

Greenlee: Ryan, I swear, we were trying to get that maniac out of here.
Bianca: By bringing him to the courthouse?
Greenlee: That's not how it happened.
Kendall: Save it. You two have been after me for months.
Aidan: Hang on, hang on. Mia's got nothing to do with this.
Mia: Well, that's not entirely true. When Lomax got out last night, it was my fault. I'm sorry. I didn't do it on purpose.
Aidan: Excuse us.
Aidan takes Mia away; Lena in background]
Greenlee: You hear that, Kendall? It was an accident.
Kendall: This is more of your sabotage. You better go back to h***! Go back to h*** --
Livia: Kendall! Kendall!
Kendall: Where you belong!
Livia: Cool it! Now, we have some damage control to do, you and I.
Kendall: You better watch your back, Greenlee. You better watch your back! I am going to finish what you started.
Greenlee: She's so overreacting. I mean, you heard Mia. We were this close to getting that space case out of here.
Opal: Oh, you have sunk so low, girl, you got to look up to see a snake's belly.
Greenlee: This is so incredibly unfair! I haven't done anything wrong.
Bianca: You know what, Greenlee? I never let myself hope that you would actually defend Kendall, but this?
Greenlee: I swear to God we were trying to get that maniac out of here before anyone saw him.
Reggie: You know what, Greenlee? Thank you. Thank you so much for being so helpful. Just remember not to come to my rescue anytime soon, all right?
Greenlee: You know I wasn't trying to hurt her, Ryan. I wouldn't do that after our promise. You believe me, don't you?

***** (clip c) [Lena watches the trial resume]

Livia: Your Honor, the prosecution cannot be allowed to call another witness after we've already begun presenting our case. The precedent --
Judge: The Commonwealth has cited three separate case laws that say different, counselor. Additionally, Reverend Lomax has been on their witness list since discovery.
Livia: But, Your Honor --
Judge: I've heard arguments from both sides. I am allowing the prosecution to call this witness.
[Lena glimpse]
Livia: I would like my objection to stand on the record.
Judge: So noted. Bring in the jury.
[Gallery murmurs]

***** (clip d) [Lena watches Lomax get examined]

Alan: And you are an ordained minister. Is that correct, Reverend Lomax?
[Lena sitting with Bianca]
Fred: Yes, sir -- in Las Vegas, Nevada.
Alan: What denomination is your ministry?
Fred: 10s and 20s.
[Gallery laughs]
Alan: Excuse me?
Fred: The church of Tenzan Twenties. Tenzan was our spiritual founder. He was a reformed gambler who found the true path.
Alan: Oh, good for him.
Fred: Oh, yes, yes -- very, very good for him, until the incident with the wood chipper. Ah -- that's when I took over.
Alan: That's fine. And you're licensed to perform marriages?
Fred: Oh, yes. I've performed hundreds of them, joined those eager couples in connubial bliss and then filed the paperwork with the state -- everything very legal. I mean, not like the high church of Elvis down the strip. I mean, come on -- six bars of "Heartbreak Hotel" and then call it holy matrimony? I don't think so!
Alan: Reverend, if I may, I would like to point out the defendant to you, over there.
Fred: Oh! Hi, Mrs. Cambias. It's great to see you.
Judge: No -- no, no, no. Reverend, you're not to address the defendant. Just please answer the questions.
Fred: Oh, I'm sorry, Your Majesty.
[Gallery laughs]
Judge: "Your Honor" will do.
Alan: So you recognize Kendall Cambias?
Fred: Oh, sure. Yes, yes. I married her and Mr. Cambias 29th of August last year. A lovely couple.
Alan: You're certain about the date?
Fred: Oh, yeah -- that was the last day of our summer blowout special.
Alan: Reverend Lomax, I'm going to show you a photograph -- people's 27, Your Honor. [Bianca and Lena shot] Do you recognize this man? Is this the man you married to the defendant? Is this Michael Cambias?
Fred: Nope!
Alan: You're sure?
Fred: No, that's not him. I'm sure.
Alan: Do you know that Mrs. Cambias is on trial for murdering her husband?
Fred: Oh, boy, I'm in trouble.
Alan: What's wrong, Reverend?
Fred: Oh -- oh, well, I -- nothing to fear. It's happened before, but I just saw a ghost.
Judge: Reverend, please.
Fred: Oh, I'm sorry, Your Grace, but I'm afraid the ghost of Michael Cambias has just appeared before me.
Alan: Has it? You don't see Michael Cambias in this room, do you?
Fred: Yes. That's him right there. That's Michael Cambias -- at least that's the man I married to this lady.
Alan: Let the record show the witness has identified Boyd Larraby as the man he married to Kendall Hart. And further, for the record, he has identified Mr. Larraby as Michael Cambias. I have no further questions, Your Honor, except to request that Mr. Larraby be added to our witness list. Subpoena his a**.
Judge: So ordered.
Livia: Objection, Your Honor. The prosecution cannot be allowed to add witnesses ad nauseum.
Judge: Sidebar.

***** (clip e) [Lena watches Lomax get cross-exmined]

Judge: Defense may cross-examine this witness. The court is running out of patience.
Livia: I -- I'm sorry, Your Honor. Thank you. Reverend Lomax, when was the first time you were visited by shape-shifting aliens?
Alan: Objection -- inflammatory, leading. There's no foundation. Need I go on?
Judge: Sustained. The jury will ignore that question.
Livia: Your Honor, I will establish a foundation with the court's permission.
Judge: All right, but be careful, Ms. Frye. You are on a short leash.
Livia: Reverend Lomax, can you identify this notebook?
Fred: Oh, yes. That's my personal journal.
Livia: Are you a writer of fiction?
Fred: No, no, no. No, not at all. This is a moment-by-moment account of my daily activities. Someday, this will be published as my autobiography. It has value beyond comprehension.
Livia: Then I will make sure that you get it back. Your Honor, defense exhibit 13 -- 31.
Alan: Objection. We haven't had a chance to examine this document. It wasn't in discovery.
Judge: Sidebar. Ms. Frye --
Livia: We didn't know it existed. Your Honor, prosecution's witness, their only witness, only became accessible one hour ago. Prior discovery was impossible.
Alan: There's no relevance.
Livia: It goes to the competence of a key prosecution witness.
Judge: Ahem. Mr. Singer, check page 12, there. Do you really want to bring into evidence this witness' claim that a shape-shifting alien was Michael Cambias' best man?
Livia: He says he uses them from time to time, and not everyone can see them -- only a very privileged few. It's a shame, isn't it?
Judge: Ahem. Thank you, Reverend Lomax. You are dismissed from these proceedings. The jury is to disregard any and all testimony from Fred Lomax. [Lena glimpse] And without his testimony, there is no foundation for calling Mr. Larraby to the stand, so the prosecution's earlier motion is denied. Mr. Singer --
Alan: The prosecution rests -- again, Your Honor.
Judge: Excellent. The defense case will resume with prosecution's cross of the defendant.


I have the following clips (incompletes are marked "inc"):
Nada, none, don't have any....

Previous Episode |AMC Guide |Episode Guide |Next Episode

Guide Table of ContentsBack to Whoosh!