Whoosh! Since there's nothing going on between you and Maggie, I might as well varoomski out of here. Later gater.
Lena offers her support to Bianca and
then skedaddles to parts unknown...again

Lena Kundera

February 05, 2004

(Lena appearance)
Last update: 02/12/04

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Lena Kundera (Olga Sosnovska)
Bianca Montgomery


Boyd shares some bitterness with Lena; Lena lends Kendall one of her dresses; Lena and Bianca barely discuss what to do now that Kendall has been revealed publicly not to be pregnant; Kendall and Bianca do more bonding showing that it's not a triangle anymore but a rectangle.


From The Official Site at ABC.com:

No Lena mention

From About All My Children

At the door, Boyd shakes his head as he says it was all for nothing. When Lena asks what he means, he tells her if she wants the dirt to ask Kendall-he's going to get drunk!...

Bianca is grateful Lena had her dry cleaning in the car, and says the dress fits. She worries that Kendall's got to be terrified; if she's found guilty, she could face the death penalty. Lena's sure the judge will call a mistrial, and Bianca hopes she's right; now that everyone knows Kendall is not pregnant, the questions are going to start flying. Everybody's going to want to know where Kendall got the proof that the baby exists, and it won't be long before everybody starts wondering, "Whose?"...

Kendall comes out wearing Lena's dress, and Ms. Kundera leaves the sisters after telling Bianca to call if she needs anything. Kendall returns Jack's coat, and he says he is so sorry about what Greenlee did, but Livia will work it out. He's going to go deal with Greenlee; he'll be back, and Kendall should stay strong. Kendall takes Ryan's ring from her pocket and sadly tells Bianca that she had a future; she was going to get married, and all of her dreams were going to come true. Bianca says they still will.

From Soap Slut

Boyd pouts to Lena about everything being all for nothing and goes to get s***faced. Lena lends Kendall a dress that she had in her car. Probably because she’s living in it. Livia returns with options for Kendall. Hannah’s not going for a mistrial, so Kendall can either roll with the punches and have the jury deliberate or take a plea bargain that’ll yield her ten years prison time. She has 48 hours to mull it over. Kendall and Bianca start for the exit, where Palmer offers up his jet for anywhere she wants to go and Aidan tells her that his many foreign contacts can make sure she’s off the radar. She thanks them and Bianca continues her role as Kendall’s Protector as she shields her sister from the throng of reporters as they depart...


This all gay recap is by C.K..
Read all the All Gay Re-caps at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheAllGayRecap/.


  • Maggie gives good bumper.
  • Lena has lines.
  • Adam interrupts coitus 2.0
  • Aidan manages to shut up Ryan.
  • The ring loses its finger.

The Set-Up - Bianca is still shocked, SHOCKED! That Greenlee managed to rip off Kendall’s clothes before she could.

In the courtroom, Greenlee flashes the victory sign with the same hubris Nixon displayed while boarding Marine One: may you wait just as long to redeem yourself. What’s that? It hasn’t happened for Dick yet? Exactly.

The Courtroom – Near the swinging doors of justice, Boyd tells Lena that "this was all for nothing."

Lena: "What’s that supposed to mean?"

Have I been talking to a wall all these months? The line is "What? Why, what have you heard?"

Once Bianca’s arms are safely tucked around Kendall’s shoulders, Erica walks up with her best impression of the Walking Wounded and says that she doesn’t understand what’s going on.

Kendall: "You will never understand, Erica."

Kendall, Erica barely gets the gay thing: you can’t expect her to hitch a trailer behind the Kinks bandwagon, too.

The Rocking Limo – How’s the straight, absolutely not gay, totally man-on-woman sex, Maggie? Have you sufficiently fucked The Gay out of your system?

Maggie: "James, why do you look like you’ve just come in from a crash landing or something?"

Oh, that: it’s because the light is on.

The Courthouse – Lena has a speaking part today, but still horrible hair.

Lena: "Did the dress fit?"
Bianca: "Yes, thankfully you had your dry cleaning in you car."

Oh, so Lena doesn’t camp out in Bianca’s hallway after all: she lives in her car!

Bianca begins to worry that everyone will eventually figure out someone really is carrying Michael’s baby; Lena sighs her way through it – because that worked so well for Al Gore in the first 2000 Presidential debate - and hangs on to the bag to end all bags.

Back inside and with Lena’s dress on, Kendall takes off her engagement ring and begins to mourn Ryan and the life that could have been.

Jesus, Kinks wrapped in a Lianca Twister: that’s just going to make my head explode.

Greenlee’s Idle Brain –Ryan shouts his way through an explanation of how Greenlee’s courtroom stunt will probably land Kendall in jail.

Greenlee: "You know. You knew she wasn’t pregnant?"

Gee, you think? He has sex with her, of course he knows! I didn’t think it could happen, but you’re actually more stupid than Mia. Ryan, pass me one of those fire pokers: I have a troll to resize into a midget.

The Penthouse Of Denial – Erica still doesn’t understand what’s happened.

Erica, have you been repeating that line during the entire car ride back?

All that is left to do is take a look into The Legacy Mirror and go back! To when she was 14! And Richard! At the birthday party! And there was rain! And thunder! 14! She was 14! And she will be again every time the faucet leaks!

While Myrtle listens, Erica remembers how St. Mona of Assisi finally made her come to terms with her own pregnancy.

Erica: "She saw me standing there, in front of the mirror. She saw a 14-year old girl carrying a baby. Even when she told me, I didn’t believe it. […] But she kept after me and I did finally believe it, I did finally see. And then I screamed. I screamed for two days, Myrtle, and then, after that, I never said a word. […]"

Erica, I count on you for my daily dose of overacted histrionics and not understated sadness. Please, please, flip your hair or throw yourself on the couch: anything but this!

Myrtle: "Erica, stop this. The past is past. Now it’s different. Michael’s baby is gone."
Erica: "Then why do I still feel like screaming?"

Oh, that’s just me, yelling that Bianca is seven months pregnant. Seven. Open your damn eyes already.

Thomas’ Limo - Turns out that the Limo of Straight Love belongs to Adam – who calls the police and gets Maggie and Jamie arrested. Jamie thinks Maggie should call Bianca, but she doesn’t want to "give her every detail of what [they] did in the back of Adam’s car."

Jamie: "Bianca’s cool, why would she care?"
Maggie: "No. No, no, no: I’m not bringing her in the middle of this."

Oh, but it’s ok to suction your lips to hers when that’s the last thing she wants? Shut up, Maggie, and try to get in a real crash.

Inside the limo, Adam attempts to wipe away the JAM, erm, the JAM. Just the JAM. Jesus.

The House Of Kinks – Bianca ushers Kendall inside and tells her she plans on accepting Palmer’s offer to jet away to parts unknown, but Kendall says that she won’t allow Bianca to leave Lena, Erica and Maggie behind. Bianca ups the ante and shows Kendall the empty suitcase she’s prepared.

Bianca: "Me and my baby. It’s my job to protect her."

My baby and I! MY BABY AND I!!!!!

Bianca: "Kendall, it’s time for you to put your head down and rest. Take an easy breath: it’s my turn to be the big sister."

Oh, whom are you kidding with the big sister routine? Sniff. What? I have a cold.

Bianca: "And when we’re safely tucked away wherever we go, […]"

You want to cry, but the Kinks sends you right back down to sizzling hot hell.

Erica calls and, while looking into the Legacy Mirror, tells Bianca they need to talk - because the mirror! The Legacy! It speaks!

The Last Scenes – At the cabin, David points his gun at Adam. I don’t know and I don’t care.

Jack tells Greenlee that Bianca is pregnant. Jack, you know I love you, but what the fuck?

At the penthouse, Bianca finds Erica in black. Uh-oh.

Erica: "You need to tell me the truth, Bianca. [Please oh please lie to me.] I can handle it. [The hell I can: if you tell me you’re pregnant, I’m going to explode!] Please, tell me. [But tell me that you had an abortion.]"
Bianca: "It’s my blood mom. I’m the one who’s pregnant."


TOMORROW ON ALL MY CHILDREN: David is angry; Ryan gives Kendall an ultimatum; Erica touches Bianca’s belly.


This parody is by LizzieT.

If the limo's a rockin', don't bother knockin'
Adam: Good God, what's going on here?
Maggie: Uh oh! Busted.
Jamie: You won't tell my parents about this will you?
Adam: Forget the parents. I'm calling the police.
Maggie: For what?
Adam: For desecrating my car - and not even as part of an interesting storyline. Hey, aren't you the girl who boinked JR in a moment of sexual confusion over Bianca?
Maggie: Don't be silly. That was my twin sister. Me boinking JR's brother in a moment of sexual confusion over Bianca is a totally different story.
Adam: Whatever. Take them away officer. I'll just disinfect my limo and watch a little tv. Hmmmm, so Days of Our Lives has already revealed the identity of their killer. No wonder they're beating us in the ratings.
Reporter: We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news. Greenlee DuPres caused a disturbance at the trial of Kendall Cambias, revealing Kendall's pregnancy as a fraud and cementing her own place as AMC's most unpopular character.
David: Hello Adam. We need to talk about the Cambias murder.

Later at the cabin....
Adam: Is it "Adam looks guilty" day?
David: I don't know. I've got a gun so it may be a "David looks guilty" day.

The courtroom was in an uproar.
Greenlee: Aha! I was right.She's not really pregnant. Now everyone will love me again, right?
Crowd in Courtroom: :::boooooo::::::: hisssss::::
Audience: :::::booooooo:::::hissss::::::
Jurors: Get a rope!
Greenlee: What about you Ryan? You love me now, don't you?
Ryan: Forget the rope.I vote for an Uzi.
Greenlee: Daddy?
Jack: I'm putting you up for adoption. Ryan, get her out of here before the Angry Villagers start throwing rocks.
Erica: I don't understand. Why is it that the only people surprised by this are me, Greenlee, and Juror #7?
Mia: Now that you know Kendall was lying all along are you sorry you defended her?
Aidan: Boit me.
Mia:You're still on her side?
Aidan: Oi'd risk me spotted dick to keep er out of jile. Now get awigh from me. You're as bad as Greenlee.
Mia::::gasp:::What an awful thing to say! Well, when she dumps you again for Ryan don't come crying to me.
Aidan: Not bloody loikely.The only gewd thing about awl this is that mighbe I'll be getting yew out of me storyline.
Opal: I wish I could stay and see what happens next but I have to pick up Petey. The rehearsal for his Broadway play lets out in 10 minutes.
Livia: Kendall, the judge has made her decision.
Kendall:What was it?
Livia: She's refused to grant a mistrial. It seems she thinks this storyline has been skewed to make Greenlee look bad and you look good so she's trying to restore the balance of power.
Reporter 1: Ms. Hart, how do you feel about being in the greatest courtroom scene since Nina found out that Monique was really Daisy?
Reporter 2: Is it true that after the wardrobe incident you've been asked not to attend this year's Grammy Awards?
Bianca: Leave my sister alone!
Baby: If you'll just be patient my people will have a statement for the press as soon as possible. Now please let us pass.

Ryan had words for Greenlee.
Ryan: I can't believe what you just did. I think the next big murder on the show should be "who killed Greenlee".
Greenlee:I don't get it.
Ryan: You don't understand why I'm so mad?
Greenlee: No. I don't understand why no one likes me anymore. Leo would have been so disappointed in the way everyone's turned on me.
Leo's ghost: Speak for yourself Greenlee. I'm on Kendall's side in all of this.
Jack: You're just like you're great great grandmother Christabel Montgomery. She betrayed the South Carolina militia at the Battle of Charleston just because General Beauregard was in love with her cousin Lula.
Greenlee: So you understand what I did and forgive me?
Jack: Heck no. Great great grandmother Christabel was the black sheep of the family....until now.
Greenlee: OK, so I betrayed Kendall. It's not like she's the most saintly character on the show - or at least she didn't used to be.
Jack: You not only hurt Kendall - you hurt Bianca.
Greenlee: I hurt Bianca?....I'm really screwed aren't I?

Bianca had an idea.
Bianca Kendall, you and I should leave town right now.
Baby: Ahhh yes. Fugitives from justice as well as running away as a way to solve your problems. Way to set a good moral example Mom.

Ryan visited Kendall.
Ryan: You won't be convicted. And if you are we'll appeal. And if the appeal fails we'll at least have conjugal visits.
Kendall: How could you do this to me?
Ryan: Oh no. I feel an "I don't trust Ryan" day coming on.

Bianca went to Erica's.
Erica: Bianca, tell me the truth. If Kendall isn't pregnant, then who is?
Baby: I've been telling you for months you needed to tell the truth. Now here's your chance......Just make sure all the sharp objects are put away OK?


Boyd and Lena trade notes from last night's Backburner Anonymous meeting

Boyd gets bitter and shares it with Lena


Boyd: It was all for nothing.
Lena: What's that supposed to mean?
Boyd: You want the dirt? Ask Kendall. I'm going to get drunk.

Lena: I guess Greenlee ripped Kendall's dress and her alibi, huh?


Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a) [Boyd gets bitter in front of Lena]

[amc040205a starts]
Boyd: It was all for nothing.
Lena: What's that supposed to mean?
Boyd: You want the dirt? Ask Kendall. I'm going to get drunk.

***** (clip b) [Lena and Bianca discuss Kendall being shown not to be pregnant]

Lena: Did the dress fit?
Bianca: Yes. Thankfully you had your dry cleaning in your car.
Lena: Is Kendall ok?
Bianca: She's got to be terrified.
Lena: I guess Greenlee ripped kendall's dress and her alibi, huh?
Bianca: If kendall is found guilty, she could face the death penalty.
Lena: That won't happen. The judge will rule for a mistrial.
Bianca: I hope you're right. Now that everybody knows that kendall's not pregnant, the questions are going to start flying. Everybody's going to want to know where kendall got that blood for her pregnancy test and how the D.N.A. Just happened to match michael's. There's real proof that a baby exists, and it's not going to be long before everybody starts wondering whose.

***** (clip c) [Lena leaves the gals to do who knows what]

Jack: Reggie, I want you to go home and wait for me there, ok?
Reggie: Well, first I have to find greenlee, ok?
Jack: No, no, no, no --
reggie: I have to give her what's coming to her.
Jack: No, you don't have to do that at all. Let me take care of this, will you, please.
Reggie: You're cutting me from the team now?
Jack: Reggie, I'm just trying to do a little damage control here, ok?
Reggie: Well, the damage is already done. That little midget with the motor mouth just blew kendall's defense.
Jack: Just watch your mouth. Greenlee will answer for what she did. You don't have to worry about it.
Reggie: What, and kendall's supposed to be paying? No. It's not fair. Kendall was almost home free. She didn't even kill cambias.
Jack: Oh --
reggie: I can prove that.
Jack: Shh -- I want you to go home. I want you to wait for me. I want you to do nothing. I want you to say nothing. Do you understand me?
Reggie: Yeah, I understand.
Jack: Good.
Reggie: I'm going to go home.
Jack: Yeah.
Reggie: There's a lot of good i can do there.
Jack: You won't get into any trouble there. Reggie, reggie, reggie -- don't do a thing.
Reggie: Yeah. What would i do?
Lena: Call me if you need anything, ok?
Jack: I'm so sorry for what greenlee did. Livia will -- she'll work it all out.
Bianca: You're not going to leave, are you, uncle jack?
Jack: I'm going to go deal with greenlee, and then I'll be back. You stay strong, ok?

***** (clip d) [Bianca asks Kendall to run away with her (Lena mention)]

Bianca: Give me your coat. Make yourself comfortable. We got a lot of decisions to make.
Kendall: What do I do now?
Bianca: What do we do now? We pack our bags and we get out of pine valley. We take palmer up on his offer and we jet to parts unknown. By this time tomorrow, we'll be sunning ourselves on the costa brava.
Kendall: No, no. No, bianca, you have school, you have work, lena, erica, maggie. I won't let you leave them behind for me.
Bianca: I'm already gone. Me and my baby. It's my job to protect her and our mother and you.
Kendall: Go. I'll just -- i'll deal with whatever I have to on my own.
Bianca: Kendall, it is time for you to put your head down and rest. Take an easy breath. It's my turn to be the big sister. Let me take care of this. Let me protect you. I'm going to make this all right for the three of us. And when we're safely tucked away wherever we go, i'll call ryan and we'll find some way for you two to be together again.
[Phone rings]
bianca: Hello?
Erica: Bianca.
Bianca: Mom.
Erica: Honey -- I need you. I need you right now. You'll feel so confident underneath it all.


I have the following clips (incompletes are marked "inc"):
amc040205a.mov (1.2m; 0:10) Boyd gets bitter in front of Lena

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