Whoosh! I wonder if Spooks is still auditioning. We could get the red eye to London.
Jamie and Maggie discuss whether they
should tell Lena about Bianca's disappearance

Lena Kundera

March 18, 2004

(Lena mention)
Last update: 03/18/04

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Maggie Stone
Jamie Martin


Maggie mentions that Lena is in Chicago -- as if anyone cared.


From The Official Site at ABC.com:

No mention.

From About All My Children

Jamie can't just sit around, and Maggie wants to go with him. He suggests she call Lena to tell her Bianca's missing, but Maggie can't because she's in Chicago-she's not going to call and scare her if Bianca just went to the movies until the weather settles. Jamie agrees she couldn't get a flight out anyway. They start to go to his car, but Maggie stops to put a stuffed animal in her bag before closing the door.

From Soap Slut

Alack, no Lena mention.


This all gay recap is by C.K..
Read all the All Gay Re-caps at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheAllGayRecap/.


  • Adam seethes.
  • Maggie does fish.
  • Edmund flails.
  • Babe boils.
  • Bianca pushes.

The Set-Up – At the Cabin of Self-Reliance, Babe would rather be washed away in a flash flood than be anywhere near Bianca’s labor.

At Wildwind, Maria would rather blow (off) work than Edmund.

Portia Lives – Maggie tells Jamie that packing makes her feel "homesick" and that she’ll have a hard time letting go of everything she and Bianca used to do, like "waking up at the same time in the middle of the night."

Well, Maggie, sleepovers are really meant to end once you hit your late teens. After that, you either sleep over or you move on – if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

The Cabin of Self-Reliance - Bianca tells Babe that "the book" says she’s supposed to time the contractions. "The book" also says women are not allowed to eat when they’re in labor.

"The book" is a chatty pain in the ass. Bianca, when I nagged you to read, I didn’t mean just one book, mmk? Expand your horizons, you ignorant twit: you’re going to turn into TiBette and then all your lesbian friends – well, ok, your friends – are going to have to have an intervention.

Greenlee’s Closet – Reggie salivates when he sees Danielle in one of Greenlee’s exploding flowers dresses – and then the music gets funky and with a beat because Danielle and Reggie? They’re black.

The Cabin of Self-Reliance - Bianca looks at her watch and tells Babe it’s been "twenty minutes since the last contraction and fifteen between the first and the second."

Pfft, is that all? It’s been eight months since the last interesting scene on AMC!

Babe: "That means there’s no kind of regular, which means you’re not in full-fledged labor."

I’m not sure what that means but, Babe: stop running away from Bianca’s open legs.

Babe tells Bianca that, at first, J.R. wanted a boy but is now set on having "a daddy’s little girl."

Babe: "But if I do have a girl, our plan of our kids growing up, getting married and running the world is pretty much going to go up in smoke."
Bianca: "Not if they move to Massachusetts."

And they giggle. Because women giggle when they talk about civil rights.

Adam’s Shed – Liza gets on Tad’s case for having chosen celibacy with her and Simone, but not with Krystal.

Tad: "There’s not special bond: it’s just that she’s in the living room, thinking that she may have lost her daughter. As a loving mother, I thought you’d understand that."

Oh, please: her only role is that of jealous woman who wants to snare a man! Haven’t you seen McTavish’s work before?

Wildwind – Because of the storm, something crashes into the house but, unfortunately, it does not kill Maddie. She and Sam yell for help but Edmund can’t get there! Because he’s on a wheelchair! And he can’t walk! And the wheelchair gets stuck in the carpet! And there are stairs! And Edmund can’t lift the chair!

The Cabin of Self-Reliance – Bianca’s contractions are getting closer; scared, she asks Babe what she should do.

Babe: "Ok: just hold on to my hands and just breathe."

I know that’s the party line and everything, but if someone told me to "just breathe," I’d take out a big shiny gun, shoot the kneecaps and tell that person to "just breathe" right along with me. I’m just sayin’.

After one commercial, Bianca’s already down to sixty-one bottles of beer, is lying on her side and making this whole VolderLabor thing about her rack. Babe brings the Yay, which leaves Maggie exactly where she was before: where no one gives a damn.

Wildwind – Edmund still can’t get to his annoying kids – because he’s on a wheelchair! And the stairs are in the way! So he makes himself fall out of the chair! And then there’s a staircase! With lots of steps! To climb!

It’s all very dramatic, but it only makes me laugh: I have no shame.

Portia Lives – Jamie decides to go out and look for Babe and Bianca and tells Maggie to call Lena to let her know that "Bianca is missing."

Maggie: "I can’t, she’s in Chicago."

What, they don’t have phones there, you stupid troll?

Maggie: "I’m not going to call her and scare her if Bianca just went to the movies until, you know, the weather settles or something."

Oh, sure: you wouldn’t want to worry Lena: you’d rather just kill her with the bad news. Shut up, you tool.

Jamie: "Right. She probably couldn’t get a flight out anyway."

Lena? Please: Lena would talk her way on the back of a bird to get to Pine Valley.

The Cabin of Self-Reliance – Is this a labor or a Flirt ‘n Grope ‘n Stroke?

The Last Scenes – At Wildwind, Bobby saves the annoying kids because Bobby? He’s not in a wheelchair.

At Adam’s, J.R. bellows into the phone because he’s a big boy now.

Kendall: "I can’t lose them. Bianca and the baby: they’re all I’ve got left."

Sniff. That’s sad. I can’t even make a Kinks joke out of that.

TOMORROW ON ALL MY CHILDREN: Ryan and Greenlee do something; Kendall looks for Bianca at Erica’s; Bianca is tired of being in labor.


This parody is by LizzieT.

The gang at the Chandler Mansion was worried.
Krystal: I just don't know what I'll do if anything happens to my baby doll. After all, I was cast to be her mother and I don't have much of a storyline apart from her.
Adam: What's going on here? Babe is missing? My grandchild could be in danger?
JR: Not just your grandchild. My wife could be in danger too.
Adam: Don't try to cheer me up.
Tad: I'll go over to the hospital and see if anyone matching their descriptions has been brought in after a terrible accident resulting in a coma.
Liza: Check in the plastic surgery area too. There's always a chance one of them has been recast.
JR: Or they could just be wandering around with amnesia. It's been known to happen.
Kendall: What if they were abducted by mobsters from General Hospital? You know how this crossover crap seems to be the rage these days.
Adam: Wherever they are we're not likely to find them today. After all, it's only Thursday. Major events never happen on Thursday.

Over at the hospital the staff was on duty.
David: Maria, over here! This woman needs help.
Maria: Is it a storm related injury?
David: No. A bad burrito at the Backburner Cafe. So how is Edmund?
Maria: He's wonderful. He decided not to have the surgery after all. He knows that he can be the perfect father just the way he is.
::::::Rumble rumble rumble:::::
Maria: Wow, that thunder is really loud.
David: I don't think that was thunder. I think that was the heavy hand of foreshadowing thudding down.
Tad: Has anyone here seen Babe and Bianca? They went for a drive in the storm and no one has seen them since.
Maria: Isn't it close to Bianca's due date?
Krystal: Yes. And Babe's not far behind depending on who the father is. If it's Jamie or JR she shouldn't go into labor but if it's that OLTL guy or the seventh fleet she could pop at any minute.

Things got bad at Wildwind.
Edmund: I'm glad I told Maria to go to the hospital. After all, what could possibly go wrong during a thunderstorm.
Edmund: I had to ask.
Maddie: Help! Daddy, a tree just fell on the attic.
Lizzie: Just be thankful it wasn't on your garage. Insurance companies can be a pain to deal with.
Edmund: Oh no! Hold on kids! I'm coming! Good, we still haven't built a ramp in the living room yet. It's much more dramatic if I have to dive out of my wheelchair. Hold on kids, I'm on my way. I'll just have to crawl up the stairs as the music swells. Is this great stuff or what?
Sam: At this rate we'll be in college before you get here.
Bobby: I'll go get the kids. You wait here.
Maddie: Daddy, where were you? Sam and I were traumatized - not that there's anything new about that.
Edmund: Bobby? Is that you?
Bobby: Hey, he recognized me. Aren't you afraid that will spoil the dramatic value of the scene?
Producer: Of course not. We were going for ironic value in the way Sam's biological father rescued him when his adoptive father couldn't, making Edmund feel like a failure. Duh! And after the way we foreshadowed it with Maria's dialogue too.
Bobby: Sorry. I'd forgotten how subtle you guys can be.

Up at the cabin things got worse.
Bianca: My water broke. That means I'm in labor.
Babe: But you probably have plenty of time. After all you haven't had any pain yet.
Bianca: Owwwwwwwww!
Babe: . OK, you had a pain but it was only one. It might be hours before you have another one.
Bianca: Owwwwwwwww!
Babe: I've got to learn to keep my mouth shut. Don't worry Bianca. I'll take care of everything.
Baby: I'm doomed aren't I?
The Chandler Kid: Don't worry. Everything will be all right. My mom will take care of everything. You just have to remember Babe=Good.
Baby: Sorry but I'd feel a lot better if right now Babe=Highly Skilled Midwife.
Babe: Our children are going to grow up and be best friends. Miranda and Bess.
The Chandler Kid: I wish she'd cut it out with that Bess stuff.
Baby: Yeah. A boy named Bess is going to get beaten up a lot in kindergarten.
Babe: Our children will be best friends just like you and I are best friends.
Bianca: Best friends forever - Babe and Bianca.
Baby: Right. Just forget all about your best friend Maggie who was willing to leave the country with you any time you wanted. Or your sister Kendall who was willing to stand trial for murder just to protect you. Or everyone in town who lied to keep your secret. Babe is just the best friend you ever had.
The Chandler Kid: Cranky little thing aren't you?
Baby: Don't call me cranky! I'll....I'll.....
Bianca: Owwwwwwwwww! I want this baby to be born now.
Babe: All right then. I'll deliver it.
Baby: Oh no you don't! Don't you dare start pushing! It's bad enough I have to be born during a non-sweeps period but there's no way in hell I'm going to be born on a Thursday! Nothing important ever happens on a Thursday.


Jamie: Maybe you should call lena and tell her bianca's missing.
Maggie: I can't. She's in chicago.


Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a) [Maggie and jamie decide not to tell Lena about Bianca's disappearance]

Jamie: I can't just sit around. I got to do something.
Maggie: Not without me.
Jamie: Maybe you should call lena and tell her bianca's missing.
Maggie: I can't. She's in chicago. I'm not going to call her and scare her if bianca just went to the movies until, you know, the weather settled or something.
Jamie: Right. And she probably couldn't get a flight out anyway, so --
maggie: Well, take your car?
Jamie: Yeah, let's go.
Maggie: Right. Uh --


I have the following clips (incompletes are marked "inc"):
None at this time

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