Whoosh! Unconscious or not, Lena needs Bianca
Lena returns to her woman after visiting
her mother in the Windy City

Lena Kundera

March 26, 2004

(Lena appearance)
Last update: 05/25/04

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Lena Kundera (Olga Sosnovska)
Bianca Montgomery


Coming soon


From The Official Site at ABC.com:

Erica and Krystal support each other as they sit vigil at the hospital. Babe warns Erica that Bianca was planning on leaving town with her baby. Joe informs Krystal that Babe's condition could become serious. Ryan insists that Kendall stop blaming herself for Bianca's tragedy and encourages her to stay optimistic. Tad, Ryan and David return to the hospital with the incubator that was recovered from the river and inform Erica, as well as Bianca's friends and family, that Bianca's baby didn't survive. Greenlee encounters Bobby, who has some enlightening words about forgiveness. Greenlee is moved when Jack tells her that he loves and needs her and they embrace. Brooke warns Adam not to try to control his grandchild's life and accuses him of not caring whether Babe lives or dies. Jamie sneaks into Babe's room after learning the seriousness of her condition.

From About All My Children

Anita is checking Bianca's chart when Lena arrives. Maggie says she's going to wake up soon, and Anita agrees they expect a full recovery. Lena thanks God, and asks about Miranda. Maggie says they're still looking, but they haven't found anything yet. Lena takes Maggie's arm and drags her out in the hallway as she says she should have been here-they should have called her! Maggie says she tried, but Lena tells her, "Not hard enough!" She says her cell phone number was in Bianca's book, but Maggie retorts when they recovered her totally wet purse, she was more concerned with whether she was alive or not! She's sorry, but it got a little crazy, and even if she had been in Pine Valley, there was nothing any of them could do. It all just happened, the flood and the storm, and they didn't even know anything until after the helicopter crashed. Then, Bianca was so bad off, "And her baby…my god, her baby!"...

Lena gently covers Bianca as she cries that she's so sorry-she would have given anything to be with her! But, she's here now, and whatever happens, she'll get through this, "Oh my god, I love you so much!"...

Lena sighs deeply as she stands up and stretches. Bianca's eyes flicker open.

Erica moves closer and quietly asks, "What is that, Ryan?" Tad tells her it's a portable incubator, found about ten miles south of the crash site. Joe confirms it's one of theirs, from the helicopter, and Tad says they pulled it out of the river. Ryan admits the rescue squad has changed the search status to recovery instead of rescue; they said the baby could never have survived the river. Reggie comforts Kendall as she sobs, while JR puts a hand on Brooke's shoulder and Greenlee reaches out to her father. David goes to Kendall, and they all look from one to the other when Lena rushes out and excitedly announces that Bianca's awake!

From Soap Slut

Lena shows up at the hospital and b****** Naggie out for not calling her about Bianca. Naggie fires out excuse after excuse, she didn’t have Lena’s number on hand, everything happened so fast… Whatever, Naggie. Obviously, you didn’t want to include Lena because then you’d be bumped down the totem pole of People Bianca’s Going to Want to See.


This all gay recap is by C.K..
Read all the All Gay Re-caps at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheAllGayRecap/.


  • MiMo cries.
  • David spits on Ryan.
  • Lena grabs Maggie.
  • Brooke hits Adam.
  • It’s a happy, happy family.

The Set-Up – In Bianca’s room, Erica takes out a rake and runs it over her daughter’s cheek. Oh, wait: that’s Erica’s hand.

Elsewhere in the hospital, Bobby paces. Dude, you keep on saying you’re going to Vegas and you’re still here? Go!

On the Rock of Sadness, Kendall thinks.

The Hospital – Krystal and Erica do a bit of HandSlapping and, as soon as Dr. Jo comes into view, Erica tells him Bianca hasn’t "regained consciousness" yet.

Normally, I’d tell Erica to shut up but, considering this it Dr. Joe…well, has he ever actually saved anyone?

In the all-purpose room number two, Greenlee and Bobby bond over "regret and guilt."

Greenlee: "How do you get the people who hate your guts to forgive you for something that’s unforgivable?"

First, you fall back into the Shaft of Self-Pity. Then, you get Ryan to tumble all the way down with you and trick J.R. down the shaft by promising him Ryan will keep him warm at night. After all that, you get Maggie’s attention by dressing up the Trojan horse with Pepe’s red poncho and you seal everyone in there with you.

The Rock of Sadness – Kendall blames herself for what has happened to Bianca and Frankenbrow grabs her – ‘cause that’s what he does: he grabs women in distress - to make her stop.

Ryan: "Nobody, nobody has been more devoted to Bianca and her baby than you."

Well, ok: if you grab Kendall to remind her she’s half of Kinks, I’ll overlook the infraction.

The Hospital – Adam grows more and more smitten with MiMo: he dubs her "a survivor" and a pure Chandler. When Brooke asks him about Babe’s condition, he dismisses her and declares she’ll be fine and some unidentified "they" will "take care of it."

Brooke: "You don’t care if that child’s mother lives or dies, do you?"

"Babe? Who dat? What other baby? *Burp* Oops, guess I snacked on him earlier."

In Babe’s room, Dr. Joe tells Krystal that her daughter’s condition is precarious and they’re doing all they can "to avoid septicemia."

Krystal: "Septicemia?"

I know! How does Dr. Joe know the medical term for blood poisoning?

The Rock of Sadness – Ryan is still blabbering about Finding MiMo in someone’s house or behind a tree of whatevercakes until finally, mercifully, David shows up and interrupts the monologue that was meant to make Kendall feel better but, we all know, was all about Frankenbrow’s love of his own booming voice. Kendall thanks David for continuing the MiMo search and takes off.

No! No, no, no, no, no! Why must I look at McGrabby Hands? Why can’t David and Kendall just sit on a rock and bring on the pretty? Stupid show.

The Hospital – Maggie, what did you do, raid Little Lord Fauntleroy’s closet and wash the loot with Pepto Bismol? [That bit is dedicated to a BAMmer who inboxed me today and reminded me to make fun of Maggie’s shirt: I’d use your name, but I don’t want you to get banned for fraternizing with the enemy.]

Lena bursts in, shocked to find that Bianca is unconscious; Maggie and Anita tell her Bianca will "wake up soon" and will be all right.

Lena: "Bianca, you – you’ll be fine. You’ll be all right."

Lena, sweetie: if you use that voice, Bianca’s going to think she’ll die at any moment so, come on, buck up and chill out.

When Maggie tells Lena they still haven’t found MiMo, Lena puts down her purse, grabs Maggie’s arm and drags her outside.

Lena: "I should have been here, you should have called me."
Maggie: "I tried."
Lena: "Not hard enough."
Maggie: "It’s not like you were across town, Lena."
Lena: "They do have cell phone service in Chicago."

Hey, that’s what I said last week! And then I called Richard Daley, just to make sure, and he swore they even land line service. He swore!

Maggie: "[…] When they recovered her totally wet purse, I’m sorry if my first thought was not her address book: I was more concerned with if she was alive or not."

Grammar! Syntax! You’re killing me.

Maggie: "Look, even if you had been in Pine Valley, there wasn’t anything any of us could do. […]"

Ok, this is a good place to stop ‘cause, come on, Maggie’s talking and none of us give a damn. In fairness to Maggie – I know, I know: hang on – when all you’ve got is a wet purse fished out of a river, making a round of phone calls is the last thing on your mind. However, the moment things settle down, as much as they can in a situation like this, the first thing one should do is try to contact those who still don’t know what’s going on no matter where they are. I don’t care what kind of boring battle you’re fighting with yourself: you kick your ego and your jealousy out the door, get your ass in gear and notify the people you know your best friend would want near her. Before my girlfriend moved up here, she lived in California and if something had happened to her and her friends had called when it was convenient - as opposed to immediately - I would have quartered them with a nail file. No one has a lease on pain, Maggie: I don’t care how you feel about Bianca, but you know how she feels about Lena and not calling her – which, by the way, only makes me wonder who did – was profoundly and incomprehensibly selfish.

Moving on. Maggie moves toward the glass to look into Bianca’s room and Lena looks down. What are you doing, checking out her ass? With Anita in the hospital, you check out Maggie’s ass? You’re so hopelessly gay. Like Dana. Only hotter.

Elsewhere in the hospital, Brooke grows furious with Adam’s callousness, slaps him and smirks at the uselessness of it all since Adam is "about as malleable as granite."

Adam: "If you want to light a candle for Bianca, Babe, or pray and weep for the whole damn world, then fine, be my guest. But I, for one, am thrilled, I’m ecstatic, that my flesh and blood survived."

Well. Adam has remained remarkably consistent: that can only mean McTavish has never written a single line for him.

Outside Bianca’s room, Jamie and Maggie try to comfort each other; she asks him whether he’s gone to see Babe and, realizing he hasn’t, she tells him of her condition.

Maggie: "Jamie, she’s got…some infection."

Jesus, Maggie: ‘some infection?’ You’re really studying needle point and not Pre-Med, right?

In her room, Babe wakes up, sees Erica and begs her to "patch things up with Bianca" or she will take MiMo and leave town. In fact, Babe is very adamant that Bianca must not leave town and, if I were a different recapper, I’d say it’s because she doesn’t want Erica to lose her daughter, but I’m the PLW and I know Babe is insisting because she took a look at The Rack and knows she can’t do without it.

Babe: "Please, just tell Bianca that you love her and her baby. Miranda, she’s so beautiful: hopefully one day she’ll be as beautiful as you are."

Babe, are you stoned? Oh, wait.

Babe: "Please, just tell Bianca it’s ok. Just tell her."
Erica: "Babe, you need your rest now. Just rest."

Erica, Babe resuscitated herself from the dead to warn you to either shape up or you’ll lose your daughter and you can’t even manage not to shower her with platitudes? You suck.

Erica walks out and bumps into Brooke who asks her to "let [her] know if there’s anything [she] can do to help."

Erica: "Oh, yes: if I need platitudes, you’ll be the first one I’ll call."

Stop reading the recaps! And do try to squeeze one damn tear out of your eyes: try by ripping out a hair or two. Of course, your head is probably numb, what will all the ozone-killing spray you use.

Brooke: "Listen, if you need somebody to kill, I’ll gladly volunteer."

What? No! I like you, damn it. Can’t Erica kill Ryan instead? Or, you know, Maggie?

Erica asks for Brooke’s opinion: she wants to be able to comfort Bianca but doesn’t know how to because she realizes her daughter is furious with her.

Erica: "I have driven her away. How do I get her back, how do I bring her back close enough to me so that I can comfort her and help her now that she needs me the most?"

She needs you like fish need a bicycle (thank you Gloria Steinem).

Brooke: "Mothers are not infallible: I think what we do is that we try to do what we think is best for our children."
Erica: "But maybe I did what was best for me."

Let me check…yes, it’s snowing in hell. Oh, I know ‘cause I’m here with my fellow Kinks Sledders. Ah, Kinks.

Outside the nursery, Kendall looks at MiMo and tells J.R. that he has "a beautiful daughter."

No he doesn’t! That’s MiMo! Crap, this story is shit.

Kendall: "I’m ok. I’m ok, I’m fine. It’s just – when I saw Bess for the first time in that incubator by the river, when I looked in her eyes, I saw Bianca."

Ouch. And thank god: at least now we know that, when Bianca will decide MiMo is alive, Kendall won’t be part of the Pine Valley HeadShakers that’ll tell her she’s nuts and should just accept MiMo is dead.

In Bianca’s room, Lena covers Bianca with a blanket and sits by her side.

Lena: "My love, I’m so sorry."

Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Give the woman a damn line! Ugh. Lena is sorry, but not like before when she was sorry she’d done something craptastic: she’s sorry that Maggie didn’t call and she wasn’t able to be there sooner and that is, erm, entirely different.

Lena promises to be there for Bianca "no matter what happens" and kisses her hand. Twice. Because she’s crying without tears.

Well, when you’ve been in the UK filming your first scenes as the lead of a kick-ass show, it’s got to be hard to find any tears for anyone.

Elsewhere in the hospital, everyone congregates even though they don’t know why.

Kendall: "Why didn’t you guys call me?"
Maggie: "Kendall, we don’t know anything yet."

Oh, so it’s chronic for you.

The elevator opens; Tad, Reggie David and Aidan walk out with long, sad faces; Ryan is last to come out and he’s holding a banged-up incubator.

You brought the incubator for everyone to see? Are you fucking stupid? Yeah, everyone in that room should picture exactly how MiMo was thrown out of the chopper, landed in the river and floated off with the fish. God, you’re such a clueless imbecile.

The Last Scenes – In Bianca’s room, Lena yawns and stretches; Bianca opens her eyes and is hit with the music of doom.

Outside, everyone takes in the empty incubator and reacts with varying degrees of horror and sadness. And then there’s Maggie. I wish she were wearing the usual dead fish expression because that would be better than the current "do you think there might be bread in there?" vacant look in her eyes. Maggie! Empty incubator! Missing baby! No MiMo! Wake up, you damn nitwit.

Ryan: "They said that the baby could never have survived that river."

Finally, a chin quiver from Maggie, but it stops as soon as it starts.

Lena rushes out.

Lena: "She’s awake. Bianca is awake."

Any other time, that would have been great news, but now…now Kendall has about 10 seconds to figure out what she’s going to tell her girlfister about MiMo.

NEXT WEEK ON ALL MY CHILDREN: Tad tells Krystal that Paul was the pilot who rescued Bianca and Babe; David tells Erica she "got exactly what [she] was hoping for;" Bianca asks Kendall about Miranda. Also: Lena and Maggie comfort each other.


This parody is by LizzieT.

Our show opens at the hospital.
Miranda: Waaahhhhhhh!
Nurse: There there little one, don't cry.
Miranda: You think I'm crying now? Wait till this show is over and look at the audience.

Ryan found Kendall by the river.
Ryan: You can't give up hope Kendall.
Kendall: I'm trying not to but it's hard. How could a baby survive all this time in an incubator in the river?
Ryan: This is Pine Valley. Maria survived a fiery plane crash. Tad survived falling off a bridge into a raging river. Mike Roy survived cremation.
Kendall: You're right. There's still a chance. I'm going back to the hospital to check on Bianca.
David: I thought I told you to leave Kendall alone.
Ryan: Actually you told me to leave Greenlee alone.
David: Her too. Leave everyone alone.
Ryan: How can I leave Kendall and Greenlee alone if there's still the possibility of a Greenlee/Ryan/Kendall triangle?
David: Maybe if you leave them alone there'll be a Greenlee/David/Kendall triangle instead. Frankly I could use the air time.

Brooke came to the hospital.
Brooke: Is that your grandaughter?
Adam: Yes. Isn't she beautiful?
Miranda: Of course I am. All the other babies in here are jealous. But I'm not his grandaughter.
Adam: They're naming her Lottie after my sister. Or Bess unless I can talk JR out of it.
Miranda: My name is Miranda. Why can't anyone get this right?
Adam: Just look at her. She's a Chandler through and through.
Miranda: Arrrgghhhhh! Sloowwwwllllly I turned.....
Brooke: What about Babe? How is she?
Adam: Who cares? This child is all I care about. I practically obsessed with her all ready.
Miranda: Can we say foreshadowing of future problems here?
Brooke: :::whack::::How can you talk about Babe that way?
Adam: Easy. I still don't buy that Babe=Good. But I did find being slapped by you rather enjoyable. Are you busy later?
Brooke: I really feel sorry for that poor baby having to deal with you.
Miranda: You don't know the half of it lady. I wonder how the Chandler Kid is getting along on his new soap? He may turn out to be the lucky one in all of this.

Joe had news for Krystal and Erica.
Joe: Bianca is going to be fine.
Erica: Will she be able to have more children some day?
Joe: Yes.
Erica: That's a relief. Some of those message board people were sure she'd be unable to conceive after this.
Krystal: What about Babe?
Joe: She's not doing well. In fact Babe=Sick. We're trying to avoid septicemia.
Krystal: Septicemia? People die from that.
Joe: That's why we're trying to avoid it.
Erica: Oh Babe, I want to thank you for taking care of Bianca. If there was ever a doubt before, we all know now that Babe=Good.
Babe: I have to talk to you Ms. Kane. Bianca was so upset with you. She wanted to leave town. You have to tell her that you love her and the baby. Promise me that you'll do that.
Erica: I can't believe this. :::sob::::
Krystal: That Bianca would think about leaving town?
Erica: No. That Babe came to town as Sadie Thompson but she's somehow turned into Melanie Wilkes. What's next - telling me to be kind to Captain Butler?:::sob::::
Lizzie: :::whimper::::Babe really does =Good doesn't she?

Erica ran into Brooke in the hall.
Brooke: Is there anything I can do for you?
Erica: If I get a craving for the cheese fries from the Backburner Cafe I'll give you a call...I'm sorry. That was uncalled for.
Brooke: If you need to kick someone I'm here. If you need to slap someone, Adam's down the hall.
Erica: Brooke, tell me the truth. Have I made too many mistakes as a mother?
Brooke: No more than I have.
Erica: You?
Brooke: Come on. Remember Laura and all those squinchy faces? Or the mute kid that played Jamie? Kids don't turn out like that without parental involvement.
Erica: I feel better already. At least my daughters are perfect even though they hate me. Thank you Brooke. ::sob:::
Brooke: Any time Erica.:::sob::::
Lizzie: :I love moments like this.:::sob::::

Lena arrived at the hospital.
Lena: My God, what happened?
Maggie: Don't you know? Haven't you been watching?
Lena: No. The whole crossover thing sort of turned me off. Why didn't you call me?
Maggie: I thought you had taken that job with the BBC.
Lena: That hasn't started yet. I guess I'm on so seldom that it's hard to tell.

Jack found Greenlee at the hospital.
Jack: I'm so glad to see you Greenlee.
Greenlee: You are?
Jack: Why are you so suprised?
Greenlee: After that awful mine shaft storyline I didn't think anyone would ever want to see me again.
Jack: We've all had our mine shaft storylines Greenlee. Once I was married to this woman named Laurel - talk about a storyline from hell. But I got past it and you will too.
Greenlee: I hope so. I want to be a beloved part of the show again. I don't want to be written out.
Jack: You won't be. Besides, with what's coming up I want my daughter here with me.
Greenlee: Daddy! :::sob:::
Jack: My little girl:::sob::::
Lizzie: Waaahhhhhhhh!

Kendall went to the nursery window.
Miranda: Auntie Kendall, it's me! Miranda!
Kendall: She's a beautiful baby JR.
Miranda: Of course I am. Just look at me. I'm a Kane Woman. If you can't tell from my exquisite features at least you ought to recognize a hissy fit when you see one! Waaahhhhhh!
Kendall: You know, it's funny. When I saw the baby at the crash site I could have sworn I saw Bianca in her eyes.
Miranda: There's a reason for that Sherlock! Why hasn't anyone even considered the possibility that I'm me? Even if you didn't think that Paul guy would do something on purpose, look at him. I woudn't buy a used stroller from that guy, let alone trust him to know which baby was which.

The cast gathered as news came from the crash site.
Ryan: This is the incubator that was pulled from the river.
Tad: There's no hope.
Kendall: You mean....
Lizzie: Oh please, just shoot me now::::sob:::sob:::sob::::sob::::::
Miranda: Waaahhhhhhh! This is making me cry and I know I wasn't in that thing. Waaahhhhhhh!



Lena gets so close to finally clocking Maggie, but unfortunately doesn't...


The horrible Pine Valley curse cycle begins anew


Why don't you just grow up, Maggie? YES????


I am going from ABC to the BBC. Hmmm, I wonder if that means my next job after Spooks will be in Canada?


But look at the bright side, at least I got another job!


Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a)

Maggie: Well?
Anita: There's no hidden info, Maggie. Bianca's going to be --
Lena: Bianca. Oh, my god -- Bianca.
Maggie: Lena, um, Bianca's --
lena: She's -- she's unconscious.
Maggie: Yes, but she's going to wake up soon, right?
Anita: Yeah, we expect a full recovery.
Lena: Oh, my god. Thank god. Bianca, you'll be fine. You'll be all right.
Anita: I'll, uh, I'll check back in later.
Maggie: Thank you.
[Anita leaves]
Lena: The baby? Miranda?
Maggie: They're still looking, but they haven't found anything yet.
[Lena drags Maggie out of the hospital room]
Maggie: What are you doing?
Lena: I should have been here. You should have called me.
Maggie: I tried!
Lena: Not hard enough!
Maggie: It's not like you were across town, Lena.
Lena: They do have cell phone service in chicago.
Maggie: I tried to get your cell phone number.
Lena: It's in Bianca's book!
Maggie: When they recovered her totally wet purse, I'm sorry if my first thought was not her address book. I was more concerned with if she was alive or not. It got a little crazy. I'm sorry. Look, even if you had been in Pine Valley, there wasn't anything any of us could do. It all just happened. There was the flood, the storm. We couldn't even reach either of them. We didn't even know anything until after the helicopter crashed. And then Bianca was so bad off. And her baby -- my god, her baby.

***** (clip b)

Lena: My love, I'm so sorry. I would have given anything to be with you. But I'm here now, whatever happens. You'll -- you'll get through this. I'll do whatever you want, whatever you need. Oh, my god. I love you so much.

***** (clip c)

[While Lena is in the hospital room with Bianca, Bianca wakes up. Cut to outside the room]
Erica: What is that, Ryan?
Tad: It's a portable incubator. They found it about 10 miles south of the crash site.
Joe: It's one of ours, from the helicopter.
Erica: Are you saying --
Tad: They pulled it out of the river.
Kendall: No, that -- that doesn't mean --
Ryan: The rescue squad has changed the search status to recovery.
Kendall: Instead of rescue.
Ryan: They -- they said that the baby could never have survived that river.
[Reaction shots of everyone. Lena enters hallway]

Lena: She's awake. Bianca's awake.

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