Whoosh! ...
Lena and Bianca actually have an
encounter of the rare kind

Lena Kundera

April 06, 2004

Last update: 06/26/04

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From The Official Site at ABC.com:

Bianca asks Lena to question Paul Cramer about the helicopter crash. Lena makes it clear to Paul that she wants answers.

From About All My Children

Lena comes into Bianca's hospital room and notes she's finally got some color back in her cheeks. As the two embrace, Bianca says she needs something, "I need to know everything that happened before the helicopter went down, and when it went down, and afterwards." Lena protests that won't be easy for her to hear. Bianca knows, but she has to know every single minute of Miranda's life; she has to know how she was lost, and why she's gone. She got Paul Cramer's number from Dr. Joe; she called and left a message, but he hasn't called her back yet and she can't wait! Maybe Paul Cramer could tell her something, anything, that would make this all easier to understand. Maybe he knows something about Miranda; even one secondÖ Maybe she was holding her, and it would mean so much to her to know.

Lena tells Bianca to get some rest, and promises she'll find out everything she needs, one way or another. Bianca thanks her, and Lena leaves as Reggie comes to the door. Reggie hesitates before going in. Bianca says hi; she takes one look at his face and tells him whatever he does, not to cry. Reggie nods as he wipes his eyes, and Bianca continues, "Because if you do, I think I might totally lose it." Reggie sits on the bed, and the two share a hug...

Lena tells Paul he's a difficult man to find, but he points out that she managed. He asks what he can do for her, and Lena says he could answer Bianca Montgomery's message in person. Paul's sorry, but he's been really busy. When Lena says he's free now, Paul asks to do what? To force Miss Montgomery relive the worst experience of her life? Lena tells Paul he's coming with her right now, and tell Bianca exactly what happened to her baby, or he's going to be the sorriest son of a bitch in two cities!

From Soap Slut

Bianca asks Lena to help track down Eeeeeeevil Paul so she can ask him in person what happened. Lena goes all the way to Llanview Hospital to find him and gets rather nasty as she insists that he comply with Biancaís wishes to talk to him.


This all gay recap is by C.K..
Read all the All Gay Re-caps at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheAllGayRecap/.


  • Lena does something.
  • Liza is part of the décor.
  • Jamie speaks.
  • Lena twists an arm.
  • Maggie chokes.

The Set-Up Ė At the hospital, Uncle Foo Foo (© BK) fights like a girl for his girl.

At the nursery, Kendall is angry because she only got half a miracle.

Biancaís Room - Lena puts on a good face for Bianca which, on top of her already gorgeous face, just makes my TV melt. Still, why does she keep on wearing that friarís coat? Itís fine for friars but the woman has curves, mmk?

Bianca: "Lena, I need something."

Of course you do. Why donít you ask Maggie for help? Oh, wait.

Bianca wants Lena to find out everything she can about the crash and the last moments of MiMoís life and tells her she should speak to First Evil Paul because sheís already called him and heís not called back. Lena promises to find out everything she can, tells Bianca to get some rest and kisses her.

Wait, what? Let me watch that again Ė not that Iím prurient or anything.

Lena: "Iíll find out everything you need, one way or another."

Could the "another" part of that include beheading?

Reggie walks in, crying, and Bianca asks him not to because, otherwise, she might "totally lose it."

Oh, whom are you kidding?

Tadís Frat Ė Liza wasnít hiding: she was impersonating furniture Ė pouting, horny furniture.

BJís Ė Jamie wishes there were someone who loved him as much as Maggie loves her "old roommate." Maggie chokes on her food.

Aww: did The Gay go down the wrong pipe, Maggie?

Jamie mourns his past relationship with J.R. and says they "used to have each otherís back."

There is only one direction for snark on that comment Ė if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

Maggie: "Itís like Bianca and me: we will be pals for life no matter what."
Jamie: "Come on Maggie, you guys are way more than pals: anyone can see that."

Maggie chokes on her food again. What was it this time, an allergic reaction to I Might Be Bi, But Iím Really Just Needy?

The Hospital Ė Greenlee and Jack want Bobby to help them find Erica. Anita does, too, which is why Bobby reveals he saw her in the chapel but also points out she wanted to be "away from her family" when they were in Philadelphia together.

Bobby: "I do know what itís like to love a woman beyond anything."
Anita: "Even when youíre in Philadelphia?"
Bobby: "I was helping a friend."
Anita: "A beautiful friend."

Are you still talking about Erica?

Bobby: "I cheated on you, I screwed up big, but Iíve been faithful to you ever since and I will be for the rest of my life."

Thatís comforting Ė if youíre a spineless, codependent imbecile.

The Nursery Ė King Ryan of the Defenseless and Deaf tries to make Kendall see that MiMoís death is not all there is; maybe, he says, they could try to "hold on to the people [they] love a little bit harder."

Dude, are you using Finding MiMo to try to get laid? Shut up, asshole.

Ryan continues to speak to his reflection.

Ryan: "Donít tell the babies, but life can really suck. [Ö] Your prayers arenít always answered and, even if they are, sometimes you wish they werenít."

Justice Marshall is on the line for you: heís been on hold ever since Clarence Thomas and his pea-sized intellect were tapped for the bench.

OLTL Ė What did I say last week, hum? Get away from my soap! We suck all on our own, thank you: we donít need your help.

The Nursery Ė Kendall tells Jack that, when she saw "Bess" in the woods, she was certain it was MiMo.

Jack: "Sometimes we see what we want to see."

And sometimes everyone must be stupid in order for one story to make sense: working from the assumption that both Babe and Bianca had girls and that Paul didnít write their names on the incubators (which he didnít), then why is it that no one has thought to make sure Bess is, in fact, Bess? Why would anyone rely on the "expert" word of a chopper pilot as to the identity of the baby? Oh, no: we must have a baby switch and, therefore, even the passably intelligent must turn into blubbering fools. Iím not talking about you, Jack: you know I heart you, but youíre always incompetent.

The Corridor Ė Lena tracks down Paul and asks him to answer all of Biancaís questions "in person." He doesnít want "to force [Bianca] to relive every hellish minute of the worst experience in her life" but Lenaís done playing nice and stops him by grabbing his arm.

Lena: "Either you come with me and tell Bianca exactly what happened to her baby or youíll be the sorriest son of a bitch in two cities."

Hee. Wait, I must not giggle at BadAss!Lena just because sheís hot: that would be degrading. So. Lena has a strong grip. Oh, whatever: sheís hot when sheís mad, ok?

The Other Corridor Ė Kendall canít believe that Jack forgave Greenlee because sheís all about getting unconditional love from Erica but doesnít understand the concept when it applies to someone else. Soon, Kendall, Greenlee and Reggie begin to argue and stop only when Jack comes back.

Jack: "This is a family, damn it."

Whatís your point?

BJís Ė There is a huge TVPG icon superimposed on Maggieís head Ė you know, just in case you donít get that sheís too immature to really offend anyone or have a meaningful, adult love story.

On point, Maggie tells Jamie that "adorable babies are major chick magnets" and that now that heís "over Babe," he can "take advantage of little Bess."

Jamie: "Is that cool with you? I mean, weíre kind of involved."
Maggie: "Jamie, weíre involved but weíre not involved. Weíre friends who hook up. [Ö] Look, there are no expectations, there are no demands, no hang-ups, ok? Iím cool with that."

Wow, Maggie: have you ever heard of self-respect?

Jamie: "You are the coolest woman Iíve ever known."

How many women do you know, Jamie: one?

The Last Scenes Ė In short succession, Jack tells Reggie, Kendall and Greenlee that he loves them but that they should just shut up until Erica becomes his wife because thatís what families do, damn it: they keep their disapproval to themselves.

Pfft. Not in my family: pipe up or get out.

In her room, Bianca dreams of MiMo. She wakes up thinking sheís heard her cry, puts on her robe and says "mommy is coming."

Lalalalalalalalalaaaaaaa! I canít hear you!

TOMORROW ON ALL MY CHILDREN: Greenlee wants to call a truce; Tad wants Palmer to tell him where Erica is; Bianca goes to the crash scene.


This parody is by LizzieT.

Tad confronted Liza.
Tad: What are you doing in my house?
Liza: I came to see you. I just wanted to give you this::::kissssssss:::
Tad: Don't try to distract me by making me sick. Why did you break in and why are you sneaking out?
Liza: :::flutters eyelashes::::I know you said you were giving up women but I never said I was giving up men::::coy smile::::I'm just so embarrassed.
Tad: I dont' blame you. I keep telling the writers that romantic comedy isn't your forte but they keep settting up scenes like this anyway. Now goodbye Liza.
Liza: Aren't you going to warn me to watch out for the Angry Villagers?
Tad: No. Between the nausea and the laughter I think most of them are incapacitated right now. You should be safe.

Jamie and Maggie had lunch.
Jamie: I wish someone loved me the way you love Bianca.
Maggie: :::cough cough:::Who said I loved Bianca? I mean I love her but I don't Love her. Not like that. Well maybe like that but not like That.
Jamie: Don't be silly. Everyone knows you and Bianca would do anything for each other. You're great together.
Maggie: Together?:::cough cough::::What are you talking about?
Jamie: I'm not sure. Either I'm just rattling on and saying things that could be taken more that one way or I'm a BAM fan.

Jack had questions for Bobby.
Jack: Where is Erica?
Bobby: Was it my turn to watch her?
Greenlee: If you don't tell my daddy where Erica is I won't like you anymore.
Bobby: I'll try to get over it. Look, if Erica wanted to leave then why not just let her go?
Jack: Everyone keeps saying the same thing.
Bobby: Maybe because it's the truth.
Jack: No. That's just the way dialogue goes on this show. There are about 7 lines each week and we all run around saying them over and over. My line this week is "I have to find Erica" - which reminds me, I have to find Erica. Excuse me.
Anita: I can't believe you're involved with Erica Kane.
Bobby: We're just friends. Not even that really. She didn't even recognize me. Come to think of it neither did Jack. Didn't I know him before?
Anita: I can't trust you because you cheated on me. I don't know if I can ever get past your cheating on me. What do you know - Jack was right about that 7 line a week thing.

Lena went to find Paul.
Lena: Bianca wants to talk to you.
Paul: Sorry. I'm busy.
Lena: Listen to me you little OLTL weasel. I've poisoned better villains than you - or at least I would have if he hadn't gotten shot first. Now you do what I say or the next time you cross over it won't be onto another soap if you know what I mean.

The Chandler Kid made an appearance.
Chandler Kid: OK, I'm back on my own soap for at least a scene. Here's my big chance. When they're not looking I'll make a break for it. What am I saying? I can't walk yet. I wonder how Miranda is getting along. Probably better than me. I dont' like it on OLTL. I want to go home. These people don't even have cow mobiles in my nursery. Waahhhhhhhh!

In the Pine Valley nursery......
Miranda: Oh good. Auntie Kendall and Ryan are discussing their relationship for the 978th time without making any real progress. ::::yawn::::I wonder how the Chandler Kid is getting along? Probably better than me. I wonder if time passes faster over there? I think it's been about three days here in Pine Valley but he's probably a month old over there in Llanview. Waahhhhhhhh! Hey, the whole family is out there. Maybe there'll be a rumble.
Kendall: Greenlee, how dare you show up here?
Greenlee: It's my family too.
Kendall: But we all hate you. Now leave.
Greenlee: Don't have to.
Kendall: Do to.
Greenlee: Do not.
Kendall: Do to. Tell her Jack.
Jack: Greenlee can stay.
Kendall: What? He didn't forgive you did he?
Greenlee: Did so.
Kendall: Did not.
Greenlee: Did so.
Jack: I forgave her and I want you to forgive her too.
Reggie: Hey Dad, you have to leave to make a mysterious phone call.
Kendall: Reggie still hates you, don't you Reggie.
Reggie: Not exactly. Greenlee=Good you know.
Kendall: I don't believe this. It's supposed to be everyone loves Kendall and no one loves Greenlee. What happened? Did the scripts get switched?
Jack: I have to go. It's Lily.
Greenlee:What is it? Has she been cast?
Jack: I don't know. But if a mysterious newbie comes to town in the next few days there's a chance it might be her. Now before I leave I want you kids to promise to behave. No more of this fighting or your all grounded until May Sweeps. Is that clear?
Reggie: Yes sir.
Greenlee: Yes sir.
Kendall: Yes sir.
Jack: And Kendall, I just want to say don't be afraid to love. You don't want to end up alone.
Kendall: Hah! He still likes me best.
Greenlee: Does not!
Kendall: Does too!
Greenlee: Does not!
Miranda: ::::sigh:::::Remind me again just why is it that I want to get back with my real family?



Oh look! The clock-timed ring appearance!


Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a)

Lena: Finally, there's some color back in your cheeks.
Bianca: Lena, I need something. I need to know everything that happened before the helicopter went down, and when it went down, and afterwards.
Lena: Sweetheart, this won't be easy for you to hear.
Bianca: I know, I know, but i have to know every single minute of miranda's life. I have to know how she was lost and why she's gone.
Lena: There's really only one person who knows the answer to that.

***** (clip b)

bianca: I got the name and number of the helicopter pilot from -- from dr. Joe martin. His name is paul cramer, and I called him and i left him a message, and he hasn't called me back yet.
Lena: I'm sure he'll get back to you as soon as he can.
Bianca: I know, but I can't wait.
Lena: Bianca, I know that you want some sort of --
bianca: Look, ok, stop right there. You don't have to tell me this. Kendall already gave me the speech. I shouldn't ask about the crash, it's going to be too upsetting, but maybe paul cramer can tell me something, anything, that would make this all easier to understand. I mean, maybe he knows something about miranda. Anything, even just one second. Maybe I was holding her. It would mean so much to me to know.
Lena: Listen, we'll find out everything we can, ok? I promise.
Bianca: Thank you.
Lena: Ok. You get some rest now, ok? And I'll find out everything you need, one way or another.
Bianca: Thank you.
Bianca: Hi, reggie. Look, whatever you do, just don't cry, ok? Ok? Because if you do, i think i might totally lose it.
Bianca: Ok. Come here.

***** (clip c)

Lena: You're a difficult man to find.
Paul: Yeah, well, you managed.
Lena: I have connections.
Paul: So what can I do for you, hmm?
Lena: You could answer bianca montgomery's message in person.
Paul: Yeah, well, I'm sorry. I've been really busy.
Lena: Well, you're free now.
Paul: To do what, huh? To force miss montgomery to relive every hellish minute of the worst experience in her life? No, I'm sorry, but i'm not interested.
Lena: Either you come with me right now and tell bianca exactly what happened to her baby, or you're going to be the sorriest son of a bitch in two cities.


Coming soon

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