Whoosh! Oh my god...I am on the wrong show.
No one else excells as
Lena does at phone scenes

Lena Kundera

April 08, 2004

Last update: 06/26/04

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From The Official Site at ABC.com:

Kendall and Ryan head to the hospital after Lena tells them that Bianca is missing.

From About All My Children

As Ryan asks what she's trying to say, Kendall gets a call from Lena. Lena explains she's just come back to Bianca's room at the hospital, and she's not there; she's not scheduled for any tests, and the nurses can't find her, either! Kendall says they'll be right there; she and Ryan hurry out. They arrive at the hospital, and are dismayed to learn Bianca's not back yet. As Lena says she tried everything she could think of and they're searching the grounds right now, Bianca and Greenlee come into the room. Kendall hugs her sister and says she was so worried about her! Bianca explains she went to the crash site-Greenlee brought her there. Kendall thinks she looks exhausted; she and Lena help her get back into bed. Bianca tells Kendall she heard Miranda! She knows everybody did everything they could and searched for her in the river and in the woods, but she heard her and felt her, "I still do!" Kendall tells her to get some sleep, and asks Lena to watch over her. She pleasantly asks Greenlee if she can talk to her for a second out in the hallway? Once outside, she asks what the hell Greenlee was trying to do? Taking her to the place where her baby died-is she trying to torture her? She told her to stay the hell away from Bianca! Greenlee protests that Bianca asked her to, but Kendall's not buying it. She says Greenlee tried to take her down, and now she's trying to hurt her sister. Greenlee argues she was trying to help her, and Ryan tells Kendall to back off and let her speak. He asks Greenlee what happened? She explains that Bianca came out of her room, all fired up to go to the crash site, and she tried to stop her. Kendall asks how hard that could be? She just had major surgery and is weak as a noodle! When Greenlee says she wanted to see where she lost Miranda and no one could have stopped her, Kendall asks if she couldn't have called her? Greenlee says she did; she left a voice mail telling her to come back to the hospital. She also left a note explaining everything. Kendall calls taking her there sick, but Greenlee insists Bianca begged her to take her. Kendall counters that Bianca can't stand her, so why would she beg her to take her to that place? Greenlee explains it's because she was there and understood that Bianca had to see for herself that Miranda was really gone, no matter how much she loved her or how many future plans she made, that she was never coming back. Ryan quietly says they know how much she loved Leo, and Greenlee says she loves Bianca, too, and hates that this happened to her, "You have no idea how much." She leaves, and Kendall tells Ryan she gets that Greenlee is still freaked out about losing Leo, but she could have stopped Bianca instead of playing hero. Bianca could have been hurt or had a relapse! When Ryan stops her, she says Greenlee put her sister's life at risk, and he's going to defend her again? Ryan just says it's late before walking away.

Lena sees the necklace and says it's so pretty! Bianca explains that Leo gave it to Greenlee, and now Greenlee gave it to her. Lena asks if she wants to put it on, and helps her with the clasp. Bianca smiles sadly as she says her baby's not alone. Lena kisses her cheek and tells her to sleep well. She turns out the lights as Kendall looks through the window. Ryan comes back and sees Kendall; he turns away...

Lena asks if she can get her something to help her sleep? When Bianca shakes her head, Lena says she found Paul Cramer, just like she wanted, and she insisted he come down and tell her exactly what happened. Bianca doesn't want to talk to him, "There's nothing he can tell me that I don't already know."

From Soap Slut

Kendall and PuppetRyan head to the hospital after Lena tells them that Bianca is missing. Kendall is furious when she learns Greenlee took Bianca to the crash site. Greenlee defends her actions but Kendall remains unforgiving. PuppetRyan walks away from Kendall. Kendall later approaches Greenlee at the Valley Inn bar...


This all gay recap is by C.K..
Read all the All Gay Re-caps at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheAllGayRecap/.


  • Bianca and MiMo share a psychotic connection.
  • Kendall rips off her warning label.
  • Krystal teases the monkey.
  • Tad is the sweetest bon-bon in the box.
  • Babe dreams outside the box.
  • Lena is trapped in her coat.

The Set-Up – At the hospital, Dr. Gloom is still playing tonsil hockey with Madam Loose.

At the PVI bar, Ryan stares at his reflection.

At the crash site, Bianca and Greenlee circle the same trees over and over again. And then they do it some more.

In her room, Babe remembers giving birth to a peanut. I mean, a boy.

The Elevator – Anita tells Aidan she’s thinking about giving Bobby another chance; at each of his attempts to speak, Anita barrels on, giving excuse after excuse, thinking she’s anticipating what Aidan will say and what his objections might be but he’s only trying to tell her the elevator is stuck.

Why did I recap that? Well, because my girlfriend will find something extremely familiar in that exchange. I’m the one who tries to speak, by the way. *cough*

The Crash Site – Greenlee believes Bianca because she, too, has shared a psychotic connection with a whining child – Ryan – and makes a habit of talking to the dead.

Bianca: "Greenlee, it’s not the same thing, ok? I can hear her, really: I can hear her voice and she’s crying out for me and she’s hungry and she’s cold and she’s out there somewhere and I need to find her."

Shirley McLain is worried about you. Shirley McLain!

Greenlee tells Bianca that MiMo’s incubator was found in the river and, when Bianca sobs that she doesn’t want her daughter to be alone, Greenlee hands her the necklace Leo had given her and promises that MiMo is not alone. Bianca stares at Greenlee and slowly morphs into

PVI Bar – Kendall tries to explain the difference between a Cosmo and a Kinkistini to a moribund Ryan; her cell rings and Lena, calling from Bianca’s room, tells her neither she nor the nurses can locate Bianca.

Interesting pecking order: when Maggie is in the room, Bianca ignores her and focuses on Lena. When Kendall is in the room, both Maggie and Lena are relegated to the bench while the girlfisters brainstorm and, when Bianca is missing, her girlfriend calls the girlfister. I’m just sayin’ – everybody knows. Anyway – thank you, Lena, for cutting short the Kryan scene. Now, please, take off the camisole that’s under your shirt so that I – I mean, we – can enjoy a bit of the Polish Rack.

The Elevator – The elevator is stuck and, even though this is a hospital, the emergency phone doesn’t work. Even with a scared kid in her charge, Anita is more interested in talking about Bobby and his zipper problems.

What is this, Saved By The Bell? Oh, wait.

Bianca’s Room – Ryan and Kendall arrive so that they and Lena can all freak out together. After Bianca comes back and reveals she was at the crash site, Kendall and Lena help her take off her coat and put her to bed.

That’s so wrong. Snicker. So very, very wrong.

After Bianca insists she heard MiMo cry and says she can feel her, Kendall tries to shut her up the same way one might cut off the family idiot.

Outside the room, Kendall accuses Greenlee of trying to hurt her girlfister.

Greenlee: "She begged me to take her."

Hee. And that’s not even out of context.

Kendall: "She can’t even stand you: why in god’s name would she ask you, beg you of all people, to take her to that place?"

Because Greenlee has been looking for absolution and Bianca used it to her advantage: she is a Kane after all.

Greenlee: "Because I was there. Because I understood. She had to go back to the place where she lost her baby to see for herself that Miranda was really gone."

Oh, fine – if you must be dramatic about it. Feh.

Back inside, Lena helps Bianca put on Leo’s necklace, kisses her goodnight, switches off the light and makes her way to the couch.

Ah, crumbs: they’re so filling.

The Last Scenes –In Bianca’s room, the light is back on and Lena is sitting by the bed. What’s that word, continuity?

At the Pit, the fire extinguisher eats Tad.

In Bianca’s room, the light is off again and Lena, sans coat, approaches the bed from the couch. Who the hell does the editing for this show, Carrot Top?

At the Pit, Ryan orders a big boy drink.

At the PVI bar, Greenlee orders something tall and cool and gets Kendall. Yum.

TOMORROW ON ALL MY CHILDREN: Greenlee and Kendall try to settle the score; Tad challenges David; Maria serves a preemptive strike against Brooke. Plus: Lena.


This parody is by LizzieT.

Aidan met Anita in the elevator.
Aidan: Ello Anita. Ow are yew?
Anita: I'm happy. Bobby says he'll never cheat on me again.
Aidan: Oi see.
Anita: You don't believe him do you? You probably think he's cheating on me right now.
Aidan: Oi didn't sigh....
Anita: Well you're wrong. Or maybe you're right. My life sucks.
Patient: Your life? What about mine? First I have a tonsillectomy, then I have to listen to this? What more could happen?
Aidan: Blimey! Oi think the lift is stuck.
Patient: I had to ask.
Anita: You can't trust elevators. They tell you they'll always get you from floor to floor but as soon as your back is turned they betray you. Just like Bobby. I wonder if he's cheating on me while he's on the plane.
Patient: Help me!
Aidan: There, there little chap. Don't be afride. Uncle Eyedan is tiking yew on a rocket ship to Mars.
Patient: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Aidan: Oi know. But it's oither that or listen to er tawk about Bobby.
Patient: A rocket to Mars huh? Can we take video games?

Krystal and Tad talked about David.
Tad: You don't want to get involved with him.
Krystal: Why not?
Tad: He's an awful person. One time he gave the entire town a sex drug and just stood by and watched what happened.
Krystal: And you're telling me this to discourage me from dating him? He sounds more like my type than I thought.
Tad: I can't believe you'd be interested in someone like him.
Krystal: Tad honey, it's not like I'm a good hearted woman in love with a good timin' man. I just want to have some fun.
Tad: All right. But don't say I didn't warn you. And whatever you do, don't let him have one of your sweaters.

Krystal: I'd just like to thank you one more time for saving my baby doll's life. I'm just so grateful to you I could spit.
David: Of course you are. But no thanks is necessary. After all, it's what I do. I Save Lives......God, I never get tired of saying that.
Krystal: So David, how would you like to go out some time?
David: I'd like that. I haven't had a date in months that wasn't part of someone's murder alibi.

Greenlee and Bianca were still at the crash site.
Bianca: I can hear Miranda crying. It's like there's some psychic connection between us.
Greenlee: Trust me, psychic connections may sound good on paper but on screen they just annoy the audience.
Bianca: You don't understand.
Greenlee: Yes I do. I used to come here after Leo died and I thought I could hear his voice just like you think you can hear Miranda's. But I finally had to accept the fact that he was gone for good.
Bianca: It's not the same thing. Miranda's too young for pilot season.
Greenlee: Here. I want you to have this.
Bianca: That necklace they sold on Shop the Soaps a few years ago?
Greenlee: Would you work with me here? It's the necklace Leo gave me and now I'm giving it to you so you'll know that your baby isn't alone.
Bianca: I see. The Greenlee=Good scene for the day?
Greenlee: Exactly.

Ryan and Kendall talked about their relationship.
Kendall: So I really hurt you when I accused you of scheming with Greenlee to get me executed?
Ryan: Look at this face. Can't you see the heartbreak?
Kendall: I'm so sorry. I just thought it was heartburn. The nachos here are really spicy.
Lena: Kendall, Bianca is missing.
Kendall: I know you're not on the show much anymore but Bianca being missing was last month's storyline. This month is all about facing her loss.
Lena: She's missing again. You'd better come quickly.
Kendall: So here we are at the hospital.
Lena: What took you so long?
Ryan: We got caught in a traffic jam around the Backburner Cafe. How could Bianca just disappear from the hospital?
Lena: It's not like the security staff around here is at the same level of M15.
Bianca: I'm back everyone.
Kendall: Where have you been?
Bianca: Greenlee took me to the crash site.
Kendall: How sweet of her. Greenlee, let's go in the hall so I can thank you in person.
Greenlee: Somehow I think it's a good thing we're already in a hospital.
Kendall: How could you be so cruel? What's wrong with you?
Greenlee: I did what Bianca wanted me to do. I know all about suffering you know. It's just like when Leo died.
Kendall: You think that makes you understand what Bianca's going through?
Greenlee: Yes it does. Besides, talking about it might remind people of how much they liked me back then. I'm really working on winning the audience back you know.
Kendall: Ryan, you're not going to let her get away with this are you? Ryan? Where are you going?
Ryan: To find someone else to talk to. Even I'm getting tired of the three of us always coming back to this and it's my storyline.

Babe was puzzled.
Babe: I thought I had a boy.
Miranda: You did. Now keep remembering and you'll really have everyone convinced that Babe=Good.
JR: You had a girl Babe. Just look at her. Isn't she perfect? Of course you had a girl.
Miranda: Don't listen to him. He doesn't know what he's talking about. All that SORAS'ING scrambled something in his brain.
Babe: Oh well, if you say I had a girl then I must have had a girl. It's not like I would remember what I actually gave birth to or anything.
Miranda: :::sigh::::No one ever said Babe=Smart.
JR: I can't wait to get her home and start spoiling her. I'm going to buy her everything she wants.
Babe: I think she's trying to tell me something.
JR: What? That she wants a pony? A dog? A kitten?
Babe: It sounds like she's saying she wants Chandler Enterprises signed over to her in an irrevocable trust that can't be broken even after it's discovered that she's not the Chandler Kid.
JR: That can't be right. You must still have some pretty heavy drugs in your system. Why don't you take a nap? I'll just sit here and talk to Bess.
Miranda: I understand you wanting to share screen time with me. You have more chemistry with me than with anyone else on the show. But it's time for me to go back to the nursery. I have a pedicure scheduled in 15 minutes.

Later some of the guys gathered at the bar.
JR: I've got everything a man could want....a happy marriage, a beautiful daughter.....you'd think I wasn't even a soap character at this rate.
Tad: I used to have everything a man could want.....a storyline boinking three women at one time....but the audience didn't go for it so now I'm celibate. Bartender, bring me something strong.
Aidan: Migh Oi join yew chaps for a point of ile? Oi've ad some bad luck with the lidies meself.
Ryan: Me too. What's the point of having abs like mine if all it brings you is heartache - or hearburn? Anyone have any Pepcid?
Tad: Does anyone get the feeling we're setting up for a big male bonding episode?
Aidan: Blimey! It lewks that wigh. Mighbe it will bring up the ritings.
Ryan: It's possible. We could always take our shirts off if that would help.
Lizzie: It couldn't hurt.



Hmmm, everything really is all about Kendall


Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a)

Kendall: It was right in front of my eyes. Why didn't i just see it?
Ryan: You were preoccupied.
Kendall: I was -- I was torn apart. Erica, of all people -- she told me that I get so caught up in my own pain that I can't get past it, that I'm so afraid of getting hurt that i -- I hit first.
Ryan: Kill or be killed.
Kendall: And I don't stop. I should come with a warning. How could anyone put up with that kind of abuse, right?
Ryan: Well, a masochist might get a kick out of it.
Kendall: You know any of those?
Ryan: No, not my crowd, not anymore.
Kendall: Well, I guess that erica was right about me, and I was wrong about you.
Ryan: So we both bled. What are you trying to say?
[Phone rings]
kendall: No, it's me. It's the hospital. Hello.
Lena: Kendall, hi. It's lena. I've just come back to bianca's room. She's not here.
Kendall: Well, maybe she went for some tests.
Lena: No, no, I checked. She's not scheduled for any. And the nurses can't locate her either.
Kendall: We'll be right there. Bianca -- they can't find bianca. She's out of her room. No one knows where she is.
Ryan: All right, let's go.

***** (clip b)

Kendall: Bianca's not back yet?
Ryan: Have you heard anything from anyone?
Lena: No one's seen her.
Kendall: How was she when you saw her last?
Lena: Fine, considering. I've tried every place i can think of. I tried her cell phone. Nothing.
Ryan: Well, did you alert security?
Lena: Yes, as soon as i realized she was gone. They're searching the grounds and the hospital right now. Funds come and go, but none go further than when you invest in a dell pc.
Kendall: Oh, my god, bianca. I've been so worried about you.
Ryan: Thank god you found her, greenlee.
Lena: Where did you go?
Bianca: I went to the crash site. Greenlee brought me there.
Kendall: Well, you -- you look exhausted, ok? Why don't we get you into bed and get some sleep, ok?
Bianca: Ok.
Kendall: Here, we'll help you. Ok. There we go. Ok. All right, is that better? Let's get you into bed. Comfy?
Bianca: Kendall, I heard her. I heard miranda.
Kendall: Look, it's ok, bianca. You don't have to talk about this right now.
Bianca: Look, I know that everybody did everything that they could and search for her in the river and in the woods and everywhere, but I heard her. I really did. And I felt her. I still do.
Kendall: I know, bianca. I know. It's going to be ok. Why don't you get some sleep, ok? Get some sleep. Can you watch after her?
Lena: Of course.
Kendall: Greenlee, can I talk to you for a second out in the hallway?
Kendall: What the hell is wrong with you? How could you do that? How could you bring bianca to the place where her baby died? What are you trying to do, torture her?

***** (clip c)

Lena: Are you comfortable? Want some water? What have you got there? Oh, my goodness, it's so pretty.
Bianca: Leo gave it to greenlee, and now greenlee gave it to me.
Lena: You want to put it on? I'll help you.
Bianca: Ok.
Bianca: My baby's not alone.

***** (clip d)

Lena: Good night, bianca. Sleep well.

***** (clip e)

Lena: Is there something i can get you to help you sleep? Hey, i didn't get a chance to tell you before, but I found paul cramer, just like you wanted, and I insisted that he come down and tell you exactly what happened.
Bianca: Oh, no, I don't want to talk to him.
Lena: I thought you wanted --
bianca: I know, but there's nothing that he can tell me that i don't already know.


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