Whoosh! Issue 21 - June 1998

These seeds are the pits!

The Gabberish Lexicon
-- Food And Drink


Bard-b-que:
Chili goats wrapped in grape leaves. Consumption of Bard-B-Que can result in severe gabtroenteritis for the uninitiated.

Bardonnay:
A medium-bodied white wine. The best vintages are produced from grapes that have been crushed by Gabrielle's face during minor skirmishes with insalubrious women.

Cafe Gabrielle:
Famous coffeehouse/gathering place for bards, who can spend an entire evening with one cup of Gabbuccino or Gabbe' au lait while discussing the finer points of Euripides.

Clearly Gabriellian:
Salmoneus' fizzy water with Gab-berry* flavoring. (*Gab-berry: similar to the cranberry, and like the cranberry must be harvested in water.)

Everlasting GABstoppers:
The only candy to slow down the energizer Bardy, rediscovered by Willie Wonka to ensure that kids are quiet during X:WP.

Gabagels:
What Gabrielle would like to have for breakfast, rather than Gabaguettes & moldy cheese.

Gabaguette:
A loaf of day-old bread, usually served with moldy cheese.

Gabaklava:
A rich Greek dessert made of thin, flaky layers of pastry with nuts n' honey in between. Gabrielle has never actually been observed eating Gabaklava, but Gabfans did notice her eating a donut hole in Warrior...Princess.

Gabaroni & Cheese:
Emergency road rations consisting of one part cheese and three parts conversation. Example: Xena groaned inwardly as she watched Gabrielle prepare dinner: gabaroni & cheese for the third night this week!

Gabernet:
A lovely Greek wine without retzina that starts out as a blush wine--similar to a white zinfandel (nouveau gabernet) and ages in the bottle to a dark red (similar to a gabernet sauvingnon). Note Gab's hair coloring (does she, or doesn't she?).

Gabbetizers:
A bit of something gablicious that excites the desire for more.

Gab-fire Chicken:
Chicken cooked over an open fire, without Lila's 17 secret herbs and spices.

Gablancmange:
A sweet, molded jellylike dessert made with starch or gelatin, milk flavoring etc; also known as ambrosia. [See: Fistful of Dinars; The Quest]

Gabmarine Sandwich:
Any sandwich consisting of day-old bread and cheese.

Gabocha Latte:
This is for all caffeine addicted Gab 'n Xena fans. Described as a mocha latte with a touch of Henbane. Mocha because one needs the extra caffeine from the chocolate.

Gabon vivant:
A bard who enjoys good food and drink.

Gabonzo Beans:
High protein legume meals to help sculpt those Gabs of Steel.

Gabouillabaise:
Poteidaian fast food. Usually anything that comes with a side order of nachos and a margarita.

Gabri-ale:
An amber-colored alcoholic beverage brewed from yeast and hops, served on tap in Poteidaia.

Gabriellios:
High carbohydrate breakfast cereal shaped like little chakrams!

Gabrika:
A spice used (in a pinch) when the henbane is all gone.

Gabscout Cookies:
Cookies sold door-to-door (also by private email) for Clan MacGab's yearly charity drive, the proceeds of which go to benefit the Ben Lobard Benevolent Fund. They are peddled by Gabscouts attired in their bilious green Gabscout uniforms. Motto: "Buy or Die!" Gabscout Cookies come in the following flavors:
  • PBPs, peanut butter panpipes
  • Nutty Bards, pistachio flavor BGSBs
  • B-Bees, mint flavor BGSBs
  • ChocO'Gabs, fudge-striped scrolls
  • Smackers, butterscotch Gabwhacker bars
  • Gingerbards, spicy brown BBWAs
  • Gabaroons, coconut flavor Amazon masks
  • Delphi's, Gab's special fortune cookies: your fate in ten words or less!
Gabsinthe:
A green liqueur having a bitter anise or licorice flavor. Production of Gabsinthe is now prohibited in many countries because of its tendency to inspire very long stories.

Gabspacho:
More road food. A soup served cold because the campfire was smothered by miscellaneous thugs thrown on top of the flames during an attack at suppertime.

Gummi Bards:
What we have always suspected Gabrielle really carries in that purse of hers. Well, that and a Xena PEZ dispenser.

Henbane-laced Nutbread:
Served with Gabbuccino at the Cafe Gabrielle; known for its ability to bring a non-believer one step closer to the Higher Power.

Muligabtawny Stew:
A hearty, hot dish for those cold nights on the road.

ROCamole:
Avocado-based salad that should be on the menu at Threadgill's restaurant in Austin.

ROCappy Meal:
A ROCburger..small TAPfries...a small BARDdrink and a Gabby toy.

ROC candy:
Self explanatory, hardened sugar, yummy.

ROCdonald's:
A place to get your ROCburgers and TAPfries.

ROChoes:
The nacho chip of the future from ROC O'BARD.

ROCtails:
Alcoholic beverages used to either soothe injured people, cleanse wounds, or as fuel for flame throwing.

Scotch on the ROCks:
The Official tipple of Clan MacGab.

Shock Rumcake:
Be careful how you slice it!

TAP:
Lettuce, cheese and ROC on a taco shell?

TAPioca:
Pudding favored by the Texas Amazon Princess.




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