Whoosh! Issue 40 - January 2000


The Words, The Lines, The Action




OUCH! THAT REALLY HURT!

When Darius inserts the hot poker into Xena's side
CHARIOTS OF WAR

Xena, doing her best Cardassian impersonation

Xena is used to being a human pin cushion



When Hyperion was impaled by Crias in the cave
THE TITANS
When Xena slams into the side of the mountain
PROMETHEUS
When Xena bends Koulos' wrists backward
When Xerxes is impaled on the broken axe handle
THE BLACK WOLF
When Xena slams Kirilus' face into the sword handle
TIES THAT BIND
When Xena pulls the poison dart from her neck
When Talmadeus slams the arm wrestler's hand onto hot coals
When Salmoneus accidentally squirts cold seltzer on Xena
THE GREATER GOOD
When Xena amputates a soldier's leg
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?
When Janice rips off Jacques S'Er's fake moustache
THE XENA SCROLLS
When the Roman soldier breaks Xena's legs
When Nicklio resets Xena's broken legs
DESTINY
When Velasca falls on her back on the spiked floor
THE QUEST
When Callisto puts a sword through herself
A NECESSARY EVIL
When Gabrielle hits Xena in the nose with her staff
A DAY IN THE LIFE
When Gabrielle squeezes palm oil and Egyptian sena into Xena's blinded eyes
BLIND FAITH
When Xena pushes the arrow through Ulysses' shoulder
ULYSSES
When the heavy crate slammed into Hidsim's stomach
LOST MARINER



OH ME,OH MY!

"I need them."
Xena to Darius re: her weapons
CHARIOTS OF WAR

"I need to take my children to safety."
Darius to Xena
CHARIOTS OF WAR

"I need someone to distract them."
Xena to Gabrielle re: Cycnus' men
CHARIOTS OF WAR

"I need a sharpening stone and some oil."
Xena to Merchant
DREAMWORKER

Xena's not much fun on dates

When Xena wants service, she WANTS service


"I need a halter for my horse."
Xena to Merchant
DREAMWORKER

"I need time."
Xena to Gabrielle re: getting through her dreamscape
DREAMWORKER

"I need to talk to him."
Xena to Marcus re: Mezentius
THE PATH NOT TAKEN

"I need you to leave me alone for awhile."
Xena to Gabrielle
THE RECKONING

"I need your help."
Hades to Xena
DEATH IN CHAINS

"I need my tomato."
Gabrielle to Salmoneus
THE BLACK WOLF

"I need to talk to Hades."
Xena to Marcus
MORTAL BELOVED

"I need to talk to you."
Xena to the father-of-the-bride
MORTAL BELOVED

"I need you to concentrate."
Xena to Gabrielle
ALTARED STATES

"I need to look around Malik's campsite."
Xena to Toris
DEATH MASK

"I need to talk to the king and I don't like formalities."
Xena to Aescalus
DEATH MASK

Cut his hair any shorter and you'll be getting brain cells.

Does Aescalus look like Pompey OR WHAT?


"I need to speak to your village elders."
Xena to Sera
DEATH MASK

"I need another pair of hands."
Xena
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

"I need you to change his bandages."
Xena to Gabrielle re: Marmax
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

"I need a splint."
Xena to Solan
ORPHAN OF WAR

"I need your sword at my service right now."
Meg to Joxer
WARRIOR... PRINCESS... TRAMP

"I need you sober."
Xena's spirit to Autolycus
THE QUEST

"I need to get to the ambrosia."
Xena's ghost to Autolycus
THE QUEST

"I need as many Amazons as possible to delay her."
Xena to Ephiny re: Velasca
A NECESSARY EVIL

Ambrosia melts in your mouth, not in your hands

Velasca -- one scary chick


"I need a strong, warrior type to do me a favor."
Aphrodite to Joxer
FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS

"I need you to be my eyes."
Xena to Palaemon
BLIND FAITH

"I need to know."
Gabrielle to Xena re: her feelings about Ulysses
ULYSSES

"I need some wood."
Gabrielle
THE PRICE

"I need a new crew."
Cecrops to Xena
LOST MARINER

"You need more rest."
Darius to Xena
CHARIOTS OF WAR

"You need only call out my name."
Ares to Xena
THE RECKONING

"You need to hit him at his camp."
Xena to Gabrielle re: Talmadeus
THE GREATER GOOD

"You need a crew, don't you?"
Xena to Ulysses
ULYSSES

"He needs a friend now more than ever."
Xena to Gabrielle re: Meleager
THE EXECUTION

"He needs to decide whether he wants to stay here without thinking about me."
Xena to Gabrielle re: Ulysses
ULYSSES

"She needs her mother."
Hermia to soldier re: Flora
THE BLACK WOLF

"We need to appease the Titans."
Rhodos to the villagers
THE TITANS

"We need some help with the netting."
Xena to Flora & Diomedes
THE BLACK WOLF

"We need more food here."
Background voice in Greek army camp
BEWARE GREEKS

"We need to speak with you."
Matron to Gabrielle
ATHENS CITY ACADEMY

"We need your help."
Marcus' ghost to Xena
MORTAL BELOVED

Can a ghost look like he's seen one?

No one asks for help like Marcus


"We need to talk to Malthus and find out as much as we can."
Xena to Autolycus
THE ROYAL COUPLE OF THIEVES

"We need to know where he's taking them."
Xena to Gabrielle re: Arkel and the villagers
THE ROYAL COUPLE OF THIEVES

"We need a bigger cart."
Thieves
THE PRODIGAL

"We needed a second horse."
Atrius to Xena
TIES THAT BIND

"We need help, here."
Soldier re: Gabrielle
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

"We need a healer."
Background voice
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

"We need a priest to bless our union."
Ileandra to Sarpedon
FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS

"We needed food. We were hungry."
Ulysses to Xena
ULYSSES

"We need them out on the wall."
Xena to Gabrielle re: the dead soldiers
THE PRICE

"We need reinforcements."
Xena to Mercer
THE PRICE

"We need information, and he's going to give it to us... one way or another."
Xena to Gabrielle re: captured Hordite
THE PRICE

"We need a new crew."
Altrech to Cecrops
LOST MARINER

"We need somebody up in the crows nest."
Cecrops
LOST MARINER

"They need a victory."
Cortese to Xena re: his army
DEATH MASK

"I want to stay and talk to Xena."
Gabrielle to her betrothed
SINS OF THE PAST

"I want to ask you a favor."
Xena to Draco
SINS OF THE PAST

"I want you to spare that village."
Xena to Draco
SINS OF THE PAST

Don't you DARE look up my skirt!!!

Draco and Xena go way back


"I wanted to come home."
Xena to Cyrene
SINS OF THE PAST

"I want you one way or the other."
Draco to Xena
SINS OF THE PAST

"I want you to go to the meeting and talk to them."
Cycnus to Sphaerus
CHARIOTS OF WAR

"I want you to wear it."
Darius to Xena re: the blue dress
CHARIOTS OF WAR

Okay, now let ME try it on.

Yeah, Darius, we know what YOU want


"I want to know about the mystics."
Xena to Elkton
DREAMWORKER

"I want to look into this man's eyes."
Xena to Gabrielle re: King Gregor
CRADLE OF HOPE

"I want to have a strong hand in case the king suffers a temporary... loss of judgment."
Nemos to his right-hand man
CRADLE OF HOPE

"I want to make an offer, and I want to give you some advice."
Xena to Mezentius
THE PATH NOT TAKEN

"I wanted to see what the inventory looked like."
Xena to Marcus
THE PATH NOT TAKEN

"I want you to get as far away from here as possible."
Xena to Gabrielle
THE RECKONING

"I want you back, of course."
Ares to Xena
THE RECKONING

The sound of leather on leather irked the sound crew

Everyone wants Xena, I reckon.


"I wanted to live, yes."
Xena to Ares
THE RECKONING

"I want you to take care of the horse."
Xena to Gabrielle
THE TITANS

"I want the goddess to make food appear."
Crias re: Gabrielle
THE TITANS

"I want the woman warrior dead."
Hyperion to Crias
THE TITANS

"I want to help."
Iolaus to Xena , Gabrielle, and Hercules
PROMETHEUS

"I want you to rescue her."
Hades to Xena re: his sister, Celesta
DEATH IN CHAINS

"I want you with me, my love."
Karas to Sisyphus
DEATH IN CHAINS

"I want to help you."
Karas to Xena
DEATH IN CHAINS

"I want you to take my Rite of Caste."
Terreis to Gabrielle
HOOVES AND HARLOTS

"I want the execution of the Black Wolf to be the main entertainment."
Xerxes to Koulos
THE BLACK WOLF

"I want the Black Wolf and you're going to give him to me."
Koulos
THE BLACK WOLF

"I want them on the south battlement."
Perdicus to soldiers
BEWARE GREEKS

"I want you to take me to Menelaus."
Helen to Xena
BEWARE GREEKS

"I want my own life."
Helen to Paris
BEWARE GREEKS

As she aged, Helen could only launch small tugboats

Helen had more problems than she could shake a stick at


"I want to help set things right."
Xena
MORTAL BELOVED

"I want the helmet."
Toxeus to Atyminius
MORTAL BELOVED

"I want to be awake for every moment of life left to me."
Marcus to Xena
MORTAL BELOVED

"I want you to let me take her place in the ceremony."
Xena to the father-of-the-bride
MORTAL BELOVED

"It's what I want. But that's the problem, isn't it?"
Marcus to Xena
MORTAL BELOVED

"I want to speak on his behalf."
Xena re: Marcus
MORTAL BELOVED

"I want that chest."
Xena to Autolycus
THE ROYAL COUPLE OF THIEVES

"I want to introduce you to someone."
Sinteres to the bidders for the chest re: Gabrielle
THE ROYAL COUPLE OF THIEVES

"I want to test this marvelous weapon."
Arkel to Sinteres
THE ROYAL COUPLE OF THIEVES

"I want you to head for the woods and wait for me there."
Xena
TIES THAT BIND

"I want her stopped."
Kirilus to his men re: Xena
TIES THAT BIND

"I want you to stop your army from invading Lotia."
Xena to Kirilus
TIES THAT BIND

"I want you riding in and out of there quickly."
Xena to Gabrielle
THE GREATER GOOD

"I want to be taken back home to be buried next to my brother, Lyceus."
Xena to Gabrielle
THE GREATER GOOD

"I want her dead!"
Callisto to Joxer re: Gabrielle
CALLISTO

Now say you love me!

Joxer and Gabrielle share a special bond


"I want them for execution by morning."
Cortese to Aescalus
DEATH MASK

"I want all these people over there with the walking wounded."
Xena to soldiers
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

"I want you to have my Rite-of-Caste."
Gabrielle to Ephiny
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

"I want all future generations of healers to understand what values you feel are necessary to practice."
Hippocrates to Xena
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

"I wanted to thank you for saving my life, again."
Gabrielle to Xena
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

"I want to kill her, uncle."
Solon to Kaleipus
ORPHAN OF WAR

"I want to talk to you."
Gabrielle to Xena
ORPHAN OF WAR

"I want you out of the way."
Dagnine to Xena
ORPHAN OF WAR

"I want a lesson!"
Gabrielle to Xena
RETURN OF CALLISTO

"I want you acting as the princess when Lias dies."
Agis to Meg
WARRIOR... PRINCESS... TRAMP

"I want you to help me get my Godhood back."
Ares to Xena as Callisto
TEN LITTLE WARLORDS

"I want you to wait here tomorrow. I'm going with Ares."
Xena as Callisto to Gabrielle
TEN LITTLE WARLORDS

"I want to understand why... why it happened."
Xena to Gabrielle
DESTINY

"I want her lifeless body brought back to me by the end of the night."
Caesar re: Xena
DESTINY

"I want you to do something."
Xena speaking through Autolycus to Gabrielle
THE QUEST

"I want Gabrielle. Where is she?"
Velasca
A NECESSARY EVIL

"I want you to know I'm ready to do anything you need."
Minya to Xena and Gabrielle
A DAY IN THE LIFE

"I want to be real honest with you."
Hower to Minya
A DAY IN THE LIFE

"I want it back."
Xena to Minya re: her whip
A DAY IN THE LIFE

The enthusiasm of a cheerleader, the body of a pro wrestler

Minya, one tough cookie, especially when in leathers


"I want you to get Hower and Minya to Safety."
Xena to Gabrielle
A DAY IN THE LIFE

"I want to become one with you."
Princess Ileandra to Joxer
FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS

"I want you to undo this thing."
Aphrodite to Cupid
FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS

"I want to see that sword."
Xena to Meleager and Gabrielle
THE EXECUTION

"I want you to look at me."
Gabrielle to Meleager
THE EXECUTION

"I want the last face that you see in this world to be a friend."
Gabrielle to Meleager
THE EXECUTION

"I want you to just close your eyes and listen."
Gabrielle to Xena
ULYSSES

"I want you to concentrate on the sound of the waves beating against the shore and I want you to have a sense of peace."
Gabrielle to Xena
ULYSSES

"I want you to come."
Ulysses to Xena re: to Ithaca
ULYSSES

"I want to come with you."
Ulysses to Xena re: on her journeys
ULYSSES

"I want it to stay that way."
Xena to Gabrielle re: her helping string the bow
ULYSSES

"I want you to jump."
Xena to Gabrielle re: close to the shoreline
THE PRICE

"I want to talk to you two, inside."
Xena to Mercer and Menticles
THE PRICE

"I want men outside, Gabrielle. You figure it out"
Xena
THE PRICE

"I want some unarmed volunteers to come out with me and get them."
Xena to Menticles re: wounded soldiers
THE PRICE

"I want to make some things clear."
Xena to the Hordite
THE PRICE

"I want to come with you."
Ulysses to Xena
ULYSSES

"I want this area cleared of all the dirty bandages."
Gabrielle
THE PRICE

"I want as much distance between us and those rocks as possible."
Cecrops to his crew
LOST MARINER

"I want her."
Draco to Xena re: Gabrielle
A COMEDY OF EROS

"Want some?"
Gabrielle to Xena re: raw squid
LOST MARINER

The other white meat

Gabrielle discovers another chicken of the sea


"You want to win, don't you?"
Manus to Gabrielle
DREAMWORKER

"You want more than Just living."
Ares to Xena
THE RECKONING

"You want to free Prometheus, don't you?"
Oracle to Xena
PROMETHEUS

"You want me to join you?"
Meleager to Damon
THE PRODIGAL

"You want food? Here, take it."
Villagers to Damon's men
THE PRODIGAL

"You want to fight, huh?"
Joxer to Gabrielle
CALLISTO

"He wanted your head by nightfall."
Kalus to Salmoneus
THE GREATER GOOD

"He wants to loot a little village not far from here."
Soldier to Xena
A DAY IN THE LIFE

"He wants to see what I'm doing in Laurel."
Xena to Hower re: Zagrius
A DAY IN THE LIFE

"He wants to fight you or anyone else."
Xena to Menticles re: Hordite
THE PRICE

"She wants you to come to Troy."
Miltiades to Xena re: Helen
BEWARE GREEKS

"She wants me to take her back to Menelaus."
Xena to Gabrielle
BEWARE GREEKS

"She wants to be buried next to her brother."
Gabrielle to Iolaus
THE QUEST

"She wanted this food to get in here."
soldier to Gabrielle re: Xena
THE PRICE

"It was quite a bit more exposure than I want."
Lucy re: the Red Wings incident

"We want nothing but peace."
Tynus to Cycnus
CHARIOTS OF WAR

"We want to fight."
Solari to Xena
A NECESSARY EVIL

"We want to offer you a sacrifice."
Solari to Velasca
A NECESSARY EVIL

"We want you to collect all the mirrors in town."
Gabrielle to Minya
A DAY IN THE LIFE

"Xena wants us to collect as many shirts as we can, wet them, use them as bladders, and escape through the under water river."
Gabrielle to Salmoneus
THE BLACK WOLF

You say tomayto, I say tomahto

Gabrielle and Salmoneus have a history of riveting conversations


"Morpheus wants them both to die."
Manus re: Xena and Elkton
DREAMWORKER

"Give me that child."
Nemos to Pandora
CRADLE OF HOPE

"Give me the girls and Gabrielle."
Draco to Xena
A COMEDY OF EROS

"Give me the sword, Xena."
Hercules
PROMETHEUS

"Give me a hint."
Gabrielle to Iolaus
PROMETHEUS

"Give me your bow."
Perdicus to one of his soldiers
BEWARE GREEKS

"Give me a performance."
Polonius to Orion
ATHENS CITY ACADEMY

"Give me that reed."
Xena to Hippocrates
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

"Give me that knife, again."
Xena to Hippocrates
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

"Give me his weapon."
Xena to Menticles re: the Hordite
THE PRICE

"Give me the Warrior Princess."
Poseidon to Cecrops
LOST MARINER

"Give it to me."
Callisto to Gabrielle re: the ambrosia
A NECESSARY EVIL

"Give them their cattle."
Xena to Petracles re: the villagers
A FISTFUL OF DINARS

"Give them their horses."
Xena to Petracles re: the villagers
A FISTFUL OF DINARS

"My eyesight."
Elkton to Xena
DREAMWORKER

"My lord."
Nemos to King Gregor
CRADLE OF HOPE

"My boy."
King Gregor
CRADLE OF HOPE

"My flame."
Celesta
DEATH IN CHAINS

"My rock."
Koulos' spy to Xena
THE BLACK WOLF

"My chakram!"
Xena to Gabrielle
THE BLACK WOLF

"My wedding bracelet."
Xena to Gabrielle
A FISTFUL OF DINARS

"My goodness."
Autolycus after Xena mashes fruit into his face
THE ROYAL COUPLE OF THIEVES

"My father?"
Autolycus to Xena
THE ROYAL COUPLE OF THIEVES

"My Warrior Queen."
Joxer to Callisto
CALLISTO

"My dolly."
Leah
DEATH MASK

"My lord, Cortese."
Malik
DEATH MASK

When's MY kissing scene?!

Was Cortese a wimp OR WHAT?


"My arm."
Wounded woman to Democritus
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

"My temple!"
Galen
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

"My sweat."
King Lias to Meg as Princess Diana
WARRIOR... PRINCESS... TRAMP

"My baby!"
Meg
WARRIOR... PRINCESS... TRAMP

"My God."
Smythe after Ares hurls three knives into him
THE XENA SCROLLS

"My leg!"
Xena to the stowaway (M'Lila)
DESTINY

"My ambrosia."
Callisto
A NECESSARY EVIL

"My hero."
Background voice
FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS

"My wife?"
Ulysses to Meticles
ULYSSES

"My stomach."
Gabrielle
LOST MARINER

"My seasickness."
Gabrielle
LOST MARINER

"My way?"
Draco to Gabrielle
A COMEDY OF EROS

"My men are on their way."
Pinullus to Draco
A COMEDY OF EROS

"My son, the coward."
Cycnus to Sphaerus
CHARIOTS OF WAR

"My brother died for peace."
Sphaerus to Cycnus
CHARIOTS OF WAR

Voted most likely to play hard-to-spell characters

Sphaerus pushed father-son angst to newer heights


"My reputation is going to soar."
Thug to Xena
DREAMWORKER

"My horse has lost its halter."
Elkton to merchant
DREAMWORKER

"My child. I understand your confusion."
Manus to Gabrielle
DREAMWORKER

"My brother and I were the first to die."
Dolas to Xena
DREAMWORKER

"My dreamscape passage and your dream must be overlapping."
Xena to Gabrielle
DREAMWORKER

"My old job as Mystic Head Priest."
Elkton to Xena
DREAMWORKER

"My fiancee. She's been abducted."
Agranon to Xena
THE PATH NOT TAKEN

"My name is Gabrielle."
Gabrielle to soldier
THE PATH NOT TAKEN

"My army will fight for one side and then the other."
Xena to Mezentius
THE PATH NOT TAKEN

"My friend. My friend."
Xena re: Marcus
THE PATH NOT TAKEN

"My dear Xena, you were always fighting for a better world."
Ares
THE RECKONING

Gabby vows one day to show as much skin as Xena

Xena may have been fighting for a better world, but Gabrielle was fighting for Xena from day one


"My two little sisters were eating supper."
Young boy at the trial
THE RECKONING

"My own blood covering her sword."
Teracles at the trial
THE RECKONING

"My word, my pledge."
Ares to Xena
THE RECKONING

"My godly powers."
Gabrielle to the Titans
THE TITANS

"My life, if I have to."
Xena to response to "What will you give?"
PROMETHEUS

"My army could do with a... warrior like you."
Toxeus to Xena
DEATH IN CHAINS

"My sister's been captured by King Sisyphus."
Hades to Xena
DEATH IN CHAINS

"My kingdom needed water."
Sisyphus to Celesta
DEATH IN CHAINS

"My subjects are overjoyed."
Sisyphus to Xena re: eternal life
DEATH IN CHAINS

"My life can still be good."
Sisyphus to Talus
DEATH IN CHAINS

Bad touch.

Sisyphus was a real pain, but he sure loved his wife


"My name is Xena. I'm a problem solver."
Xena to Xerxes
THE BLACK WOLF

"My plan will work."
Xena to the Black Wolves
THE BLACK WOLF

"My apology, but your safety is my first concern."
Deiphobus to Helen
BEWARE GREEKS

"My guards will escort you to the temple."
Deiphobus to Xena
BEWARE GREEKS

"My dad wants me to be able to adjust my story."
Orion to Gabrielle
ATHENS CITY ACADEMY

"My son and I ran into this young woman in a tavern."
Polonius to Kellos
ATHENS CITY ACADEMY

"My family. I will avenge your deaths."
Goliath
GIANT KILLER

"My dearest wife."
King Silvus
A SOLSTICE CAROL

"My son and I would have to make choices, again."
Ephiny to Gabrielle
THE QUEST

"My, my, my."
Autolycus to Xena's ghost outside the Amazon's guarded hut
THE QUEST

"My village is in great danger."
Hower to Xena
A DAY IN THE LIFE

"My love for Xena will last forever."
Hower to Gabrielle
A DAY IN THE LIFE

"My sword is always ready to pleasure you."
Joxer to Ileandra
FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS

"My spies are more effective than yours, my friend."
King L to King B
FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS

"My friend saw it, too."
Ileandra's attendant re: her in the arms of another
FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS

"My love for you is still as strong."
Sarpedon to Ileandra
FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS

"My last meal is disappearing before my eyes."
Meleager to Gabrielle
THE EXECUTION

"My hands are tied."
Apex to Gabrielle
BLIND FAITH

"My best friend is Xena, Warrior Princess, and she's not going to like this forced wedding."
Gabrielle to Vidalis
BLIND FAITH

Early tanning beds were doomed to failure

Gabrielle always tries to keep Xena alert


"My only interest there was to stop the war and help my friend, Helen."
Xena to Ulysses re: Troy
ULYSSES

"My friends and I would play king of the mountain there."
Ulysses to Xena and Gabrielle
ULYSSES

"My sword can't help us now."
Xena to Gabrielle
THE PRICE

"My men. They were nothing but bones."
Xena to Gabrielle
THE PRICE

"My friend got picked up by that ship and I need to get to her."
Xena to Vasculis
LOST MARINER

"My ship is in the cove being repaired."
Vasculis to Xena
LOST MARINER

"My name is Altrech."
Altrech to Gabrielle
LOST MARINER



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