Whoosh! Issue 47 - August 2000

CAPTION THIS NO. 9
Exclusive to Whoosh!
By Nicola Guest and Marian Pappaceno
Content © 2000 by authors
Edition © 2000 by Whoosh!



Editor's Note: As a fun exercise, Whoosh! each month presents a cartoon drawn by Nicola Guest and/or Marian Pappaceno, and then invites its readers to send in their ideas of possible captions for the cartoon. All the received captions (unless deemed too wild and woolly) are published in the next month's issue. Submissions must be received by the 20th of the month to be considered for inclusion in the next month's issue.




Caption This No. 9a
Caption This No. 9b
Caption This No. 8a
Caption This No. 8b
Past Caption Thises
Biographies



Caption This No. 9





Caption This No. 9a

Hey, this is YOUR job now, cowkids! Send your caption right now!

By Nicola Guest
Send your captions to Kym Taborn.




Caption This No. 9b

Hey, this is YOUR job now, cowkids! Send your caption right now!

By Marian Pappacen
Send your captions to Kym Taborn.




Caption This No. 8a

Hey, this is YOUR job now, cowkids! Send your caption right now!
By Nicola Guest

01. And now, ladies & gentlemen, the Amazing Xena will figure out how to untangle at least 1 chakram, so she can provide our dinner...(hurry up Xena, that bunny looks vicious).
(from Carol)

02. Lovely Assistant: "Feast your eyes on the Great Xenani while she unlocks the mystery of the linking chakram."
(from Virginia & Lourdes S.)

03. Great Xenani: "After this trick, folks, I will cut my lovely assistant in two. I have many skills, er, tricks up my sleeve."
(from Virginia & Lourdes S.)

04. Gabrielle: "AND now, the amazing Xena!"
Xena: "Ah, Gabrielle... is it suppose to be like this? This doesn't look right. How am I suppose to get my chakram back? How can I kill people now? GABRIEEELLEE!!!"

(from Frederick Puhala)

06. Xena: hmmmm.... I wonder how This would look on Gabrie--
Gabrielle: --and now Xena will make these chakrams dissapear!!! Xena what are you waiting for?

(from Lala3xgqt)

07. Gabrielle: "Xena, you really need to stop playing with your chakrams now and move on to the 'Rabbit in the Hat' trick."
Xena: "You weren't complaining earlier when I was practicing!"

(from Katyn)

08. Gabrielle: "And now Xena will attempt to separate the chakrams by passing them thru her torso!"
Xena: "Where did you get THAT brilliant idea from?"

(from Katyn)

09. Xena: "Gabrielle, I'm really getting tired of holding these things up here. And the wires holding them together are scratching my breastplate!"
Gabrielle: "Pay no attention to the woman holding up the chakrams!"

(from Katyn)

10. Gabby, if you make me do this one more time, the bunny gets it!
(from Jen)

11. When you said we needed more money, I didn't think we'd do this.
(from Jen)

12. "Renée, why are we doing this again?"
"I told you, they couldn't do a cabaret this year!"
"Next year, I'm not doing a convention if it means this."

(from Jen)

13. Xena: "Thank you so much for getting me into this, Gabrielle. Can I saw you in half for my finale?"
(from Matthew)

14. Gabrielle: "Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, and see the Incredible Morphing Chakram!"
Xena: "Uh, Gabrielle, gimme a minute to get this thing figured out, wouldya?"

(from Meredith)

15. Xena(whispering): Psst...Gabrielle, did Eli tell you how to get them unhooked?
(from Cyane)

16. Xena's trick of pulling a rabit out of a hat had teething problems ...
(from Andjam)

17. If Xena mutters that "IHMS" phrase one more time, I'm going to switch that rabbit with one that doesn't eat lettuce...Oh. And she'd better not say anything about sleeves either.
(from Andjam)

18. Gabrielle: "Step right up to see the season six incarnation of the super chakram."
Xena: "Geez. This was a lot easier in that temple in 'Chakram.' Maybe there's something to be said for purity. (takes a long lascivious look at the season six incarnation of Gab's outfit.) "Not."

(from Linda Crist)

19. ... and then there were three...
(from Amicus)

20. Gabrielle: "And now, as a special preview for Season 6, my lovely assistant Xena will perforn The Ring Cycle!"
(from icebear)

21. Xena (whispering): "Gabrielle! These trick handcuffs of yours won't release!"
(from icebear)

22. I thought it was the rabbit that was supposed to reproduce.
(from icebear)

23. "Gabrielle, take that sign down and help me untangle these or I'm gonna let this rabbit kick your ass like it did in 'In Sickness and In Hell.'"
(from Robin Walker)





Caption This No. 8b

Hey, this is YOUR job now, cowkids! Send your caption right now!
By Marian Pappaceno

01. Ted Raimi: I guess, I shouldn't complain. At least, ToyBiz got *Joxer's* face right
(from Thomas Healy)

02. Joxer-chio: {singing} "I've got no strings to hold me down..."
(from Virginia & Lourdes S.)

03. Joxer-chio: "Hey, Xena and Gabrielle, how many times do I have to tell you two that I am a real man?" "Now, where's my conscience and that fairy queen?"
(from Virginia & Lourdes S.)

04. Hey, Xena. Who has the better body now?
(from Frederick Puhala)

06. I am a material girl...Livin' in a material world...
(from Frederick Puhala)

07. Joxer the Mighty found himself at a low point when he was forced to work as Puppetmon's stunt double in DIGIMON.
(from Matthew)

08. "When I auditioned for 'Being John Malkovich' this isn't the role I expected to get."
(from Cyane)

09. RoboJox.
(from Andjam)

10. I've done a wide variety of roles, but this is getting ridiculous...
(from Andjam)

11. Egads. I don't know if I'm *this* desparate to return to the land of the living...
(from Andjam)

12. I'm in some sort of Matrix-like system? That'd explain why the submarine crashed and we all came back to life without much of a decent explanation...
(from Andjam)

13. After an alternative fan fiction writer re-worked that chakram-fling scene from "Been There, Done That," Joxer was forced to find a new body for his decapitated head.
(from Linda Crist)

14. No wonder the character of Joxer was never really fleshed out.
(from icebear)

15. So it _wasn't_ Joxer's armor making all those creaking sounds.
(from icebear)

16. Aging 25 years in a week's time is apt to make a guy a little stiff.
(from icebear)





Past Caption Thises

Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 7a.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 7b.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 6a.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 6b.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 5a.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 5b.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 4a.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 4b.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 3.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 2.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 1.





Biographies

Nicola Guest Nicola Guest

I live "across the pond" in bonny old England, currently doing a Degree in Media Production, specialising in Animation. I enjoy directing, storyboarding and creating comedy scripts (I like comedy alot so that's why the funny episodes of XWP are my favourite!) I'm also getting into web design and have started to produce my own site: http://www.c-gue.demon.co.uk/. At the moment I'm living the typical life of a student and loving every minute of it.
Favorite episodes: A DAY IN THE LIFE, IN SICKNESS AND IN HELL, IF THE SHOE FITS
Favorite line: Gabrielle: "It's a SACK Xena" IF THE SHOE FITS
First episode seen: IN SICKNESS AND IN HELL
Least favorite episode: ULYSSES

Joxer-impaired Spice Marian Pappaceno
Click here for Ms. Pappaceno's website

Marian Pappaceno was born to the glitter city of Las Vegas in 1964. Always the tough gal, she was happy to play the role of the bad guy with the neighborhood kids, usually as a thief or alien-come-to-conquer-earth. An artist at heart, she draws constantly when not at her job in nuclear medicine. As mistress of The Temple Of Joxer, she does not take kindly to Ted-bashing and lusts after anyone who knows all the words to his song.
Favorite episode: BITTER SUITE(58/312)
Favorite line: Gabrielle with centaur dropping in hand: "...don't eat....Oh, thank you...thank you VERY much!" HOOVES AND HARLOTS (10/110)
First episode seen: FISTFUL OF DINARS (14/114)
Least favorite episode: THE TITANS (07/107)






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